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8 Ways To Deal With Negative People

8 Ways To Deal With Negative People

No matter how positive your outlook on life may be, you’re bound to attract some negative people to you at many times throughout your life. Hypothetically, you might think it’s easy to rid yourself of a bad relationship, especially because you don’t want to be dragged down with them. However, it’s not that simple. Being the positive person you are, you most likely care deeply about everyone around you, including the “Debbie Downers” in your life. While it would certainly be cold-hearted to shut people out of your life just because they’re down in the dumps, there are numerous ways you can deal with them without letting their negativity affect you.

1. Don’t give too much of yourself

It’s one thing to be a shoulder to cry on, but it’s another to give so much of yourself that you lose your own positive outlook on life. Don’t let others change your perspective. It won’t happen overnight, but continuously surrounding yourself with negativity will slowly poison your mind, dragging you down without you even realizing it. Take note of how much you give of yourself, compared to how much others take from you. If you’re giving more than you’re getting, you’ll end up empty.

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2. Give negative people less power over you

Pessimistic people can be pretty persuasive. While you always try to see the silver lining of bad situations, they’ll do their best to convince you the dark cloud overhead is what matters. What you see as pessimism, they see as reality. Don’t let them cloud your own outlook. It’s healthy to be realistic, but we should always try to err on the side of optimism.

3. Don’t hold yourself responsible for their happiness

As a friend and overall good person, you want others around you to be equally as happy. However, it’s not your job to make it so. You can help by being there when someone needs you. You could invite them out to do something fun when they’re feeling down. You shouldn’t feel like a failure if; at the end of the day, they’re back to their old pessimistic self. Negativity is a mindset that can only be changed if the person is willing to change it.

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4. Don’t take their negativity personally

Negative people aren’t actively looking to offend others. Then again, they also don’t really care much for other people’s feelings whatsoever. Knowing this, you shouldn’t take offense when your efforts to cheer someone up don’t help. And you definitely shouldn’t take offense when they neglect your friendship. While you’re busy thinking of everyone else, negative people are selfishly worrying about their own mood and mindset. Don’t take it as a personal affront. Keep in mind, it’s simply how they treat all people when they’re feeling low.

5. Don’t argue with them

Negative people usually can’t be persuaded, no matter how hard you try. Don’t fight with them about things such as their outlook on life. Don’t try to give a laundry list of how “things could be worse” or how “it’ll get better.” No matter what you say, pessimists will more than likely have a counter-argument that will only serve to prove their point. When negative people are in a funk, they almost seem to thrive on their negativity. Save yourself time and energy, and don’t fight a losing battle.

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6. Consider their perspective

Maybe it’s not just their mindset? Maybe things really are going terrible for that person? It’s always important to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, when faced with a contrasting viewpoint. Like I said, it’s fruitless to argue with a pessimist. To be fair, more often than not all they want is to be heard. Listen to what they have to say, and commiserate with them (even if you’re only doing so on the surface). They might just need to vent and get all their frustration out in the open. So even if you don’t have any actionable advice, at least show that you’re trying to see things from their point of view.

7. Be empathetic

While considering their perspective, look at all the factors surrounding the person’s mood: their upbringing, their home life, their job, etc. This will benefit you in two ways: For one, you’ll better understand where they’re coming from, and better understand them as a person. Secondly, you’ll realize that not everyone shares the same advantages you’ve had. In the process, you might end up appreciating your life even more than you already did. In turn, you’ll be more inclined to help a friend out while not letting it drain you completely.

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8. Don’t force anything

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. Remember, sometimes negative people actually enjoy being in a funk. You can spell out all the positive aspects of their life and give them as much actionable advice as possible, but they will probably still remain stoic and pessimistic. There’s nothing you can do about it. Let them have their time. If they choose to snap out of it, you’ll regain the friend you once had. If they can’t bring themselves to dig themselves out of their self-made hole, that’s their choice. You should feel comfortable knowing you did the best you could to help them.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm2.staticflickr.com

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Last Updated on November 5, 2019

12 Powerful Habits of a Lifelong Learner

12 Powerful Habits of a Lifelong Learner

Formal education is something everyone has to go through to a certain degree, and the knowledge it offers isn’t always that practical in real life. Life long learning is how you improve as a person, bit by bit and day by day.

Life long learners recognize the importance and joy of growth so they never settle for what they currently know and always seek for improvement.

Here are 12 habits of people who value lifelong learning have in common – see how many of them you recognize in yourself.

1. They Read on a Daily Basis

Whatever problem or dilemma you currently face, there’s definitely at least one decent book that discusses it and presents a variety of solutions.

Reading is a great way to open up new horizons, train your brain and revolutionize your life. I can’t even count how many times books completely transformed the way I view the world, and it’s always a change for the better. Through reading, you can connect with successful people and learn from the lessons they share.

Life long learners love to get lost in books and do it regularly. Bill Gates knows that reading matters a lot; on his personal blog, he reviews plenty of game-changing books.

Due to technology, you can access a bookshelf of the wealthiest entrepreneur on this planet.

2. They Attend Various Courses

Whether it’s online or offline, there are countless courses you can participate in without spending a dime on it. These are great opportunities to connect with clever and like-minded people and learn from them.

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Because of the advanced technology, you can now gain knowledge from online programs, starting from coding through self-improvement to programs from top universities.

There are literally endless ways to thrive. What life long learners have in common is squeezing as much as possible out of these opportunities.

3. They Actively Seek Opportunities to Grow

Instead of spending your free time laying on the couch and watching TV, you prefer doing something creative and practical. You know every wasted minute is gone forever.

That’s why you’d rather practice your language skills with a native-speaker you’ve met, engage in local meet up or attend a class that teaches something you always wanted to learn.

Life long learners stay up-to-date with growth opportunities in their areas and participate in them frequently.

4. They Take Care of Their Bodies

“Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity.” — John F. Kennedy

A clever mind combined with a body in a great condition is the best asset you can have. Our bodies were designed to run, walk, jump, swim, lift and much more. Leading a sedentary lifestyle harms both your physical and mental sphere.

Life long learners know the body is your temple. In order to make it flourish for as long as possible, they train regularly, move a lot and eat healthy.

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5. They Have Diverse Passions

Among Steve Jobs’ wise quotes, there’s one I like especially. It’s about connecting the dots:

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” — Steve Jobs

Each dot is some event or skill in your life, and it’s only when you go through these elements that you know how to combine them into something great.

Having a variety of passions indicates that you love to progress. By practicing different skills, you give yourself an advantage over the rest of the people. During hard times, you are more likely to to act intelligently and solve your problems with less effort.

6. They Love Making Progress

If behind the efforts, there is passion and a deep desire to grow, your chances of success are way higher, compared to when you are forced to learn.

Life long learners love to experience the constant growth and improvement. The breakthrough moments help them to notice the impressive change that took place because of the learning process. Any milestone serves as a driving force for further headway.

7. They Challenge Themselves with Specific Goals

In order to keep growing, you clearly define your goals. Smart goal setting is one of the tools to ensure constant growth.

Since you love challenges, a difficult goal doesn’t scare you. Quite the opposite, it keeps you motivated and engaged.

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Research showed that precise and ambitious goals increase the performance of an individual. As we already agreed, life long learners are people who care about their performance, hence they never stop improving.

8. They Embrace Change

A complete change can lead to incredible results. This is especially visible on the example of successful companies.

Oftentimes, it’s that transformation which created space for their so-called overnight success. Twitter was originally created as an internal service to serve Odeo employees. Currently, it has over 300 million monthly active users and is considered the second biggest social network.

As a life long learner, you know a change can lead to extraordinary results so you welcome it and stay open minded about making a shift.

9. They Believe It’s Never Too Late to Start Something

Some people tend to think after a certain age, they are no longer allowed to start something and become successful. The truth is, it’s just a lame excuse not to leave the comfort zone.

Opposite to common misconceptions, there’s no wrong age to begin something. Henry Ford was 45 when he invented the Ford Model T car, which is considered as the first affordable automobile.

Sure, for some domains like becoming a professional athlete, starting early is required. However, to learn and improve for its own sake, you are never too old.

10. Their Attitude to Getting Better Is Contagious

“We now accept the fact that learning is a life long process of keeping abreast of change. And the most pressing task is to teach people how to learn.” — Peter Drucker

There’s nothing better than to see your surroundings getting involved in what you actively participate in. Oftentimes, the best way to achieve that is to inspire them and be the example. As Gandhi would say, you need to be the change you want to see in the world.

As a life long learner, you are extremely passionate about the constant growth and people around you can sense that positive attitude. As a result, they start acting similarly.

11. They Leave Their Comfort Zone

Is it really better to step out of your comfort zone? The answer is always yes.

You always embrace discomfort as you know the path to success leads through hardship and countless obstacles. Instead of being afraid of facing them, you challenge yourself to overcome more and more difficult handicaps.

Every time you get out of your comfort zone, regardless whether you win or fail, you learn something new. That’s the part you love the most!

12. They Never Settle Down

“Knowledge is exploding, so you need to commit yourself to a plan for life long learning.” — Don Tapscott

A sense of being clever enough is something you don’t experience. Without a doubt, you appreciate what you already know, but that’s never a reason to stop. You just know once you stop learning, you lose the amazing privilege humans have, namely an ability to a never-ending intellectual development.

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Featured photo credit: Christin Hume via unsplash.com

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