Advertising
Advertising

How To Stop Self-Blaming And Start Forgiving Yourself

How To Stop Self-Blaming And Start Forgiving Yourself

Everybody makes mistakes. It’s a cliche that you may or may not believe, but it’s true. You might look at a success story and say, “Well what about him? He does everything right.” That’s definitely not true. The difference is, successful people have stopped blaming themselves for mistakes. They move past their mistakes in order to move forward in life. Dwelling on a bad decision will only serve to exacerbate the negative feelings you have toward yourself. It may be tough, but in order to get where you want to be, you have to start forgiving yourself.

1. Take responsibility, don’t place blame

When you take responsibility for your actions, you accept that you made a mistake. Don’t try to shift the blame onto others. It takes a strong-willed person to admit they made a mistake, and it needs to be done in order to clear your conscious. If you don’t accept responsibility, you run the risk of having others blame you relentlessly throughout your life. By accepting responsibility, you make it clear that you were wrong and now want to work toward bettering yourself.

Advertising

2. Love yourself

When you blame yourself, you cast yourself in a negative light. When you accept responsibility for your actions, you are able to focus on your positive traits (responsibility being one of them). Be kind to yourself. Be realistic about your shortcomings, but also about your strengths as well. By doing so, you can focus on strengthening your weaknesses, while also supplementing the positive aspects of your personality.

3. Seek out help

There’s a misconception that seeking mental help is a sign of weakness. This is definitely untrue. In fact, deciding to see a therapist is a sign that you want to get better. Don’t let the social stigma of seeing a mental health professional dissuade you from getting the help you need. For example, think about this parallel of going to the gym. There’s no stigma behind going to the gym, which is a way to keep your physical self in shape. Going to a therapist is simply a way of keeping your mental and spiritual health finely tuned.

Advertising

4. Help others

You undoubtedly have many talents, but if you spend your days wallowing in self-pity, you’ll never end up using them. Use your expertise to help others and give back to your community. You will feel yourself floating farther and farther away from the mistakes you have made. Start defining yourself by the charitable actions you undertake. Volunteering is also a great way to gain perspective about the world around you. It could also be a way to find your true calling in life.

5. Don’t be critical

If you’re critical of yourself, chances are you are critical of others too, perhaps without even realizing it. Judging others is a waste of your own time, which could have been spent bettering yourself in some way. Instead of judging others, look for the good in everyone you meet. Try to see things from their point of view. Furthermore, those who judge others tend to be paranoid and think that others are judging them. Let go of the idea that everyone else is out to get you, and you’ll be free to live your life to the fullest.

Advertising

6. Forgive freely

Like I said: Everyone makes mistakes. The first step toward forgiving yourself for making a mistake is to be more forgiving of others. Once you fully understand that everyone makes mistakes, you’ll be more apt to forgive yourself. You don’t have to be perfect — because nobody is. You just need to be the best you that you can be. This all starts with forgiving yourself and moving on with your life.

7. Learn and move on

A mistake that’s made more than once is not a mistake. If you didn’t learn the first time, don’t expect sympathy from anyone the second time you mess up. Own up to your actions, and use the experience as a stepping stone. Don’t become stagnant. Also, don’t let yourself fall into old habits. If nobody ever made mistakes, nobody would ever improve themselves. A mistake you’ve made doesn’t have to spell the end of times for you. Keep pressing forward, carrying with you the knowledge you learned throughout your toughest moments.

Advertising

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm9.staticflickr.com

More by this author

12 Signs Of Self-Destructive People 7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience 20 Little Signs You’ve Found The One 8 Signs of a Man Who Will Never Ever Stop Loving You 8 Things To Remember When Dating Someone With A Guarded Heart

Trending in Communication

1 How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them 2 Feeling Stuck in Life? How to Never Get Stuck Again 3 12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life 4 13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently 5 12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

Advertising

1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

Advertising

“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

Advertising

3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

Advertising

6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

More on Motivation

Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

Read Next