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11 Things Only Parents With Three Kids Would Understand

11 Things Only Parents With Three Kids Would Understand

The decision to have three kids was an easy one for my husband and I. We decided after our first that we’d have one more and then see how we felt about adding more to the brood.

While I was still in the hospital after giving birth to my second, I decided that I wanted one more.  Maybe it was the hormones or the sheer exhaustion (I didn’t sleep well during the pregnancy), but I was sure that I wanted one more kid. And I’m here to tell you that life with three is good, and very, very crazy.

Here are some of the differences between having three kids versus one or two:

1. We drive minivans or SUV’s

Having three kids means saying goodbye to anything smaller than a minivan or SUV. It isn’t physically possible to squeeze three carseats (or even a combination of booster seats and car seats) across the back of a sedan. Not to mention that if you tried that, the kids would be within hitting distance of one another. You know what I mean.

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For some of us, this is a major life crisis. Somehow giving up the sporty hatchback or luxurious sedan means we are giving up our old life. As far as I’m concerned, owning a minivan opens up a whole new world. Do you know how many kids I can haul in that thing? I can handle nearly any playdate or carpool situation. Come on, admit it – you know you secretly think minivans are cool.

2. We always get asked how we manage everything

Everyone with less than three kids thinks we’re crazy. For a while, every time I ventured out of the house I’d inevitably hear the comment, “Wow, you really have your hands full!” This was usually after a kid ran away from me in the parking lot or pulled a row of cereal boxes off a grocery store shelf.

I’ve stood in line at the grocery store trying to corral my three and had well meaning people ask with slight disbelief “Are they all yours?” And don’t forget my personal favorite: “I don’t know how you do it!” I suspect what the person is really trying to say is, “WHY would you do that?”

3. We always have a playmate around

I come from a family of only two kids. I never much liked that if my brother wasn’t up for playing with me, I was on my own. For those of us with three kids, there is always a backup playmate. If your oldest and middle children get into a fight, they can always turn to the youngest for support. It’s a great backup system. Life is infinitely easier with playmates around that don’t require setting up a formal playdate.

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4. We are amazing with logistics

We are masters at organizing and scheduling. How else could we survive on a day to day basis? Someone has to know who ate and who didn’t. Someone has to know who needs a fresh diaper (although I suppose that one might become evident pretty quickly.) And once all three of your kids reach school age, every morning becomes a tactical operation. The days when all three kids get out the door on time, with what they need, with no melt-downs, I want to give myself a high-five.

5. We buy a lot more food

We can actually justify warehouse club memberships. I’m not exactly sure how the math checks out:  You now have three kids, but your food bill goes up five times. Now that all of my kids are school age, we burn through snacks at an amazing rate. It’s like a pack of ravenous wolves descends upon my house every day.

6. We always have a noisy house

About the only time the noise in our house dips to a safe decibel level is when the kids are at school or sleeping. It begins as soon as one child wakes up. I thought that having two kids was loud, but it turns out I was wrong.

7. We have toys everywhere

Just as the food bill has blossomed, the toys have too. With one or two kids, toys stay fairly contained. But with three kids, they just seem to show up everywhere. I find them on the kitchen counter, in my underwear drawer, and in the refrigerator. I have no idea where some of them come from. I actually don’t even recognize some of them!

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8. You get to be the “fun” house

Once you have three kids, your ability to tolerate noise and messes grows to an astonishing level. Combine that with the fact that there are three kids at your house to play with, and suddenly everyone wants to hang out with your family. It’s like a party all the time. Three kids + three sets of toys + parents who aren’t surprised by anything = a really fun place to hang out.

9. You get three times the help

We have three sets of hands to help with chores, cooking, and projects. There’s nearly always someone around who wants to help. Having three kids does mean more work to be done, but there are economies of scale. Cooking dinner for three kids doesn’t take any longer than cooking for two kids. The bathroom has to be cleaned whether there’s one kid or three. Sure, it might get a little dirtier, but the job goes faster with more hands. My kids also have guinea pigs. The cage must be cleaned at least once a week. There are three little people to share this job, which makes it that much easier to find someone to do the work.

10. We are outnumbered

The minute you get to three kids, you realize you’re outnumbered. It used to be that if one of you had the baby, the other parent could entertain the toddler. During storytime, you could have a kid on either side. With three kids, we have to be more creative. I have three “sides” now: left, right, and top (my littlest lies on top of me). My oldest and middle got really good at playing with each other and helping one another out when I had to nurse or change the baby.

We’re a team and our kids are much better at being independent. They have to be and that’s a wonderful thing.

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11. You get three times the love

We get three times the snuggles, three times the “I love you’s”, three times the firsts (which are just as sweet with the first as with the third). There are three little people who look up to you with wide eyes and trust you to teach them. There is simply more love to go around.

Featured photo credit: The Kids/Eric Fleming via flickr.com

More by this author

11 Things Every Mother-To-Be Should Not Miss 11 Things Only Parents With Three Kids Would Understand 10 Small Grumbles Hidden In The Heart Of Every Parent With Kids

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Last Updated on September 16, 2019

How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

You have a deadline looming. However, instead of doing your work, you are fiddling with miscellaneous things like checking email, social media, watching videos, surfing blogs and forums. You know you should be working, but you just don’t feel like doing anything.

We are all familiar with the procrastination phenomenon. When we procrastinate, we squander away our free time and put off important tasks we should be doing them till it’s too late. And when it is indeed too late, we panic and wish we got started earlier.

The chronic procrastinators I know have spent years of their life looped in this cycle. Delaying, putting off things, slacking, hiding from work, facing work only when it’s unavoidable, then repeating this loop all over again. It’s a bad habit that eats us away and prevents us from achieving greater results in life.

Don’t let procrastination take over your life. Here, I will share my personal steps on how to stop procrastinating. These 11 steps will definitely apply to you too:

1. Break Your Work into Little Steps

Part of the reason why we procrastinate is because subconsciously, we find the work too overwhelming for us. Break it down into little parts, then focus on one part at the time. If you still procrastinate on the task after breaking it down, then break it down even further. Soon, your task will be so simple that you will be thinking “gee, this is so simple that I might as well just do it now!”.

For example, I’m currently writing a new book (on How to achieve anything in life). Book writing at its full scale is an enormous project and can be overwhelming. However, when I break it down into phases such as –

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  • (1) Research
  • (2) Deciding the topic
  • (3) Creating the outline
  • (4) Drafting the content
  • (5) Writing Chapters #1 to #10,
  • (6) Revision
  • (7) etc.

Suddenly it seems very manageable. What I do then is to focus on the immediate phase and get it done to my best ability, without thinking about the other phases. When it’s done, I move on to the next.

2. Change Your Environment

Different environments have different impact on our productivity. Look at your work desk and your room. Do they make you want to work or do they make you want to snuggle and sleep? If it’s the latter, you should look into changing your workspace.

One thing to note is that an environment that makes us feel inspired before may lose its effect after a period of time. If that’s the case, then it’s time to change things around. Refer to Steps #2 and #3 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity, which talks about revamping your environment and workspace.

3. Create a Detailed Timeline with Specific Deadlines

Having just 1 deadline for your work is like an invitation to procrastinate. That’s because we get the impression that we have time and keep pushing everything back, until it’s too late.

Break down your project (see tip #1), then create an overall timeline with specific deadlines for each small task. This way, you know you have to finish each task by a certain date. Your timelines must be robust, too – i.e. if you don’t finish this by today, it’s going to jeopardize everything else you have planned after that. This way it creates the urgency to act.

My goals are broken down into monthly, weekly, right down to the daily task lists, and the list is a call to action that I must accomplish this by the specified date, else my goals will be put off.

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Here’re more tips on setting deadlines: 22 Tips for Effective Deadlines

4. Eliminate Your Procrastination Pit-Stops

If you are procrastinating a little too much, maybe that’s because you make it easy to procrastinate.

Identify your browser bookmarks that take up a lot of your time and shift them into a separate folder that is less accessible. Disable the automatic notification option in your email client. Get rid of the distractions around you.

I know some people will out of the way and delete or deactivate their facebook accounts. I think it’s a little drastic and extreme as addressing procrastination is more about being conscious of our actions than counteracting via self-binding methods, but if you feel that’s what’s needed, go for it.

5. Hang out with People Who Inspire You to Take Action

I’m pretty sure if you spend just 10 minutes talking to Steve Jobs or Bill Gates, you’ll be more inspired to act than if you spent the 10 minutes doing nothing. The people we are with influence our behaviors. Of course spending time with Steve Jobs or Bill Gates every day is probably not a feasible method, but the principle applies — The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You

Identify the people, friends or colleagues who trigger you – most likely the go-getters and hard workers – and hang out with them more often. Soon you will inculcate their drive and spirit too.

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As a personal development blogger, I “hang out” with inspiring personal development experts by reading their blogs and corresponding with them regularly via email and social media. It’s communication via new media and it works all the same.

6. Get a Buddy

Having a companion makes the whole process much more fun. Ideally, your buddy should be someone who has his/her own set of goals. Both of you will hold each other accountable to your goals and plans. While it’s not necessary for both of you to have the same goals, it’ll be even better if that’s the case, so you can learn from each other.

I have a good friend whom I talk to regularly, and we always ask each other about our goals and progress in achieving those goals. Needless to say, it spurs us to keep taking action.

7. Tell Others About Your Goals

This serves the same function as #6, on a larger scale. Tell all your friends, colleagues, acquaintances and family about your projects. Now whenever you see them, they are bound to ask you about your status on those projects.

For example, sometimes I announce my projects on The Personal Excellence Blog, Twitter and Facebook, and my readers will ask me about them on an ongoing basis. It’s a great way to keep myself accountable to my plans.

8. Seek out Someone Who Has Already Achieved the Outcome

What is it you want to accomplish here, and who are the people who have accomplished this already? Go seek them out and connect with them. Seeing living proof that your goals are very well achievable if you take action is one of the best triggers for action.

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9. Re-Clarify Your Goals

If you have been procrastinating for an extended period of time, it might reflect a misalignment between what you want and what you are currently doing. Often times, we outgrow our goals as we discover more about ourselves, but we don’t change our goals to reflect that.

Get away from your work (a short vacation will be good, else just a weekend break or staycation will do too) and take some time to regroup yourself. What exactly do you want to achieve? What should you do to get there? What are the steps to take? Does your current work align with that? If not, what can you do about it?

10. Stop Over-Complicating Things

Are you waiting for a perfect time to do this? That maybe now is not the best time because of X, Y, Z reasons? Ditch that thought because there’s never a perfect time. If you keep waiting for one, you are never going to accomplish anything.

Perfectionism is one of the biggest reasons for procrastination. Read more about why perfectionist tendencies can be a bane than a boon: Why Being A Perfectionist May Not Be So Perfect.

11. Get a Grip and Just Do It

At the end, it boils down to taking action. You can do all the strategizing, planning and hypothesizing, but if you don’t take action, nothing’s going to happen. Occasionally, I get readers and clients who keep complaining about their situations but they still refuse to take action at the end of the day.

Reality check:

I have never heard anyone procrastinate their way to success before and I doubt it’s going to change in the near future.  Whatever it is you are procrastinating on, if you want to get it done, you need to get a grip on yourself and do it.

More About Procrastination

Featured photo credit: Malvestida Magazine via unsplash.com

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