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11 Things Only Parents With Three Kids Would Understand

11 Things Only Parents With Three Kids Would Understand

The decision to have three kids was an easy one for my husband and I. We decided after our first that we’d have one more and then see how we felt about adding more to the brood.

While I was still in the hospital after giving birth to my second, I decided that I wanted one more.  Maybe it was the hormones or the sheer exhaustion (I didn’t sleep well during the pregnancy), but I was sure that I wanted one more kid. And I’m here to tell you that life with three is good, and very, very crazy.

Here are some of the differences between having three kids versus one or two:

1. We drive minivans or SUV’s

Having three kids means saying goodbye to anything smaller than a minivan or SUV. It isn’t physically possible to squeeze three carseats (or even a combination of booster seats and car seats) across the back of a sedan. Not to mention that if you tried that, the kids would be within hitting distance of one another. You know what I mean.

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For some of us, this is a major life crisis. Somehow giving up the sporty hatchback or luxurious sedan means we are giving up our old life. As far as I’m concerned, owning a minivan opens up a whole new world. Do you know how many kids I can haul in that thing? I can handle nearly any playdate or carpool situation. Come on, admit it – you know you secretly think minivans are cool.

2. We always get asked how we manage everything

Everyone with less than three kids thinks we’re crazy. For a while, every time I ventured out of the house I’d inevitably hear the comment, “Wow, you really have your hands full!” This was usually after a kid ran away from me in the parking lot or pulled a row of cereal boxes off a grocery store shelf.

I’ve stood in line at the grocery store trying to corral my three and had well meaning people ask with slight disbelief “Are they all yours?” And don’t forget my personal favorite: “I don’t know how you do it!” I suspect what the person is really trying to say is, “WHY would you do that?”

3. We always have a playmate around

I come from a family of only two kids. I never much liked that if my brother wasn’t up for playing with me, I was on my own. For those of us with three kids, there is always a backup playmate. If your oldest and middle children get into a fight, they can always turn to the youngest for support. It’s a great backup system. Life is infinitely easier with playmates around that don’t require setting up a formal playdate.

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4. We are amazing with logistics

We are masters at organizing and scheduling. How else could we survive on a day to day basis? Someone has to know who ate and who didn’t. Someone has to know who needs a fresh diaper (although I suppose that one might become evident pretty quickly.) And once all three of your kids reach school age, every morning becomes a tactical operation. The days when all three kids get out the door on time, with what they need, with no melt-downs, I want to give myself a high-five.

5. We buy a lot more food

We can actually justify warehouse club memberships. I’m not exactly sure how the math checks out:  You now have three kids, but your food bill goes up five times. Now that all of my kids are school age, we burn through snacks at an amazing rate. It’s like a pack of ravenous wolves descends upon my house every day.

6. We always have a noisy house

About the only time the noise in our house dips to a safe decibel level is when the kids are at school or sleeping. It begins as soon as one child wakes up. I thought that having two kids was loud, but it turns out I was wrong.

7. We have toys everywhere

Just as the food bill has blossomed, the toys have too. With one or two kids, toys stay fairly contained. But with three kids, they just seem to show up everywhere. I find them on the kitchen counter, in my underwear drawer, and in the refrigerator. I have no idea where some of them come from. I actually don’t even recognize some of them!

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8. You get to be the “fun” house

Once you have three kids, your ability to tolerate noise and messes grows to an astonishing level. Combine that with the fact that there are three kids at your house to play with, and suddenly everyone wants to hang out with your family. It’s like a party all the time. Three kids + three sets of toys + parents who aren’t surprised by anything = a really fun place to hang out.

9. You get three times the help

We have three sets of hands to help with chores, cooking, and projects. There’s nearly always someone around who wants to help. Having three kids does mean more work to be done, but there are economies of scale. Cooking dinner for three kids doesn’t take any longer than cooking for two kids. The bathroom has to be cleaned whether there’s one kid or three. Sure, it might get a little dirtier, but the job goes faster with more hands. My kids also have guinea pigs. The cage must be cleaned at least once a week. There are three little people to share this job, which makes it that much easier to find someone to do the work.

10. We are outnumbered

The minute you get to three kids, you realize you’re outnumbered. It used to be that if one of you had the baby, the other parent could entertain the toddler. During storytime, you could have a kid on either side. With three kids, we have to be more creative. I have three “sides” now: left, right, and top (my littlest lies on top of me). My oldest and middle got really good at playing with each other and helping one another out when I had to nurse or change the baby.

We’re a team and our kids are much better at being independent. They have to be and that’s a wonderful thing.

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11. You get three times the love

We get three times the snuggles, three times the “I love you’s”, three times the firsts (which are just as sweet with the first as with the third). There are three little people who look up to you with wide eyes and trust you to teach them. There is simply more love to go around.

Featured photo credit: The Kids/Eric Fleming via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 17, 2019

8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

In life, we all need to be conscientious of what we are doing. You don’t need to live a life of stress if you don’t want to. You can achieve peace and happiness in life by carefully building mindfulness exercises into your life’s routine.

Exercising mindfulness isn’t rocket science and as importantly, you can do it. It will, however, take a few tries to get into the groove of things but once you get it, it is like riding a bike, you will never lose it.

Trust me. It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. In this article, I will share with you 8 mindfulness exercises that will help you to boost your energy, vitality and live a more peaceful and happier life.

Why Is It Hard to Live A Peaceful And Happy Life?

Our Habitat Has Become Too Technological

The world has accepted the idea that technology is often the cure for all evil. We have accepted, as a society, that everything technological will make us live a better life without fully investigating the many side effects that modernity brings.

There are a number of technological side effects that have a tremendous impact on your life that the media rarely tells you about.[1] Some of them include self-harm, economic inequality, having less sex, and even suicide. The global community is becoming less happy because of technology.

How can anybody live a peaceful and happy life when they are depressed? Technology advancements, ladies and gents, is a major reason for why we are living a poor life because it has infiltrated our lives too much.

According to my research, Americans spend an average of 8 hours a day looking at the computer screen — The average screen time spent on smartphones alone is about 20 hours per week. That’s a lot! No wonder why living a happy and peaceful life is so difficult these days.

Too Many People Don’t Want to Unplug

Americans check their phones an average of 80 times during vacation.[2] Some admit to checking their smartphones 300 times every single day. In countries like Brazil, India and China, the situation is no different.

The reality is that people are constantly plugged into technological devices and this behavior is literally making people all over the globe fight an inner war with themselves, which consequently makes them very sad. As we know, war is the enemy of peace which won’t make anybody happy.

Listen carefully:

We have a global anxiety epidemic because people don’t want to unplug from their smartphones and most people aren’t doing anything to fix it. It is a sad state of affairs but very real. This obsession with technology is turning us into perishable robots who live terrible lives.

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The era of anxiety is here to stay. There is little doubt about it. We can, however, fight back with the best remedy of all — We call it mindfulness!

Thank God there is an antidote to this whole technological madness. Without further ado, let’s go straight to the mindful exercises.

8 Mindfulness Exercises to Start Practicing

There are tons of mindfulness exercises available for you to engage with out there.[3] In the paragraphs below, I will include the best ones I’ve personally tried or have seen my close friends and family members try.

Are you ready for it? Let’s go!

1. Pray Daily

You should pray on a daily basis. Why is that you may ask — Well, because science has told us to do so.

When people pray, they feel peaceful, almost eliminating anxiety. Worries become secondary, and often gives people energy and hope to cope with the difficulties of life.

Prayer can make you more confident and focused. Prayer also helps you with self-control, helps to control pain, and can protect you against illnesses and disorders like cancer and high blood pressure. At least, this is what researchers from Harvard Medical School have said.[4]

Pray. You won’t regret it.[5]

2. Pay Attention to Your Inner Thoughts

A lot of people allow themselves to be influenced by their negative thoughts. Be different and resist believing in them. It is a bad habit that can lead to unhappiness.

By the way, if you do feel this way, chances are high that somebody other than you put these thoughts into your head.

Here is my secret to combat this cancer — look at things objectively. I bet that if you look at things as they are, you will realize that most if not all of your negative thoughts are only inside of your head.

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If you pay close attention, you will quickly realize that these voices aren’t worth your time. Believe me — Ignoring them and looking at things with objectivity is often the best course of action.

This article can guide you to beat negative thoughts:

How to Stop Automatic Negative Thoughts When You’re Overwhelmed

3. Smile Often

Smiling will slow down your heart. It will also relax your body because when you smile, your body releases endorphins which in itself has a number of positive benefits for you as a person.

Smile often! You may want to smile early in the morning, during the day, and late in the evening. It is amazing what happens to you when you decide to smile instead of being grumpy.

Surrender your problems to a nice smile. You will notice two things. First, most people just don’t which makes them live a miserable life. Second, if you decide to smile often, you will eventually smile unconsciously which is the ideal.

The moment that you smile unconsciously, you then know that you are truly happy.

4. Organize Your Working Desk

A messy desk will make you less productive and can agitate and overstimulate you. You don’t want that.

When you clear your desk, you engage in deep inner-thinking and your systematic decision making ends up becoming therapeutic.

Most people realize that they are most creative when their creative space is clean and organized. The former often makes people more aware of what they are doing which lends to less stress and more productivity.

Organizing your desk will also make you more energetic and focused because order often decreases chaos which is a condition that often slows down daily progress.

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5. Celebrate Your Friend’s Victories

I love this mindful exercise. One of the best ways to live a happy and peaceful life is to celebrate the victories of others. When you do that, you automatically make your friends in a better mood which makes you in a better mood, as well.

Happiness is contagious! We might as well celebrate others as much as we can. If you find out that your peer has won an award, celebrate with him! If your friend is the recipient of a local charity award, celebrate with her!

What is also awesome is that when you celebrate with others, they often celebrate with you in return. This, ladies and gentleman, will make you feel fantastic. You can’t go wrong with this one, period.

6. Listen to Your Spouse/Partner

God put someone in your life for a reason. You might as well listen to him or her.

I listen to my wife everyday. In fact, I often ask the following question to her, “Amanda, what are your thoughts about…” or “What am I missing about…” It is shocking what I hear back from her. Without her having much context and perspective, by the art of observation in my own nonverbal behavior and the behavior of others, she accurately gives me incredible insights which helps me out with living my life to the fullest.

I’m a firm believer that spouses are supposed to engage in interpersonal communication every day. I most definitely do and will continue doing it. You should do the same.

7. Give Yourself a Break from Technology

You can’t be in total equilibrium if your computerized devices control your life. You must get away from technology on a daily basis.[6]

How do you do that? This is my formula:

First, take this smartphone control test. It is only ten questions but this test will place you somewhere in the human robot cycle continuum.

If your score is between 25-30, take a break from the computer (or smartphone, pad, laptop/desktop) every twenty minutes and stop being on a computerized device after 8:00pm.

If you score between 30-35, still take a break every 20 minutes but stop being on these devices at 5:00pm.

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If you score more than 35, you need to take action immediately.

Limit computer use as much as possible throughout the day. Give yourself as many breaks from the computer as possible. Are you ready for the challenge?

8. Go Exercise

Go exercise at least three times a week. I don’t care if you need to workout early in the morning, late in the evening, on the weekends or during work days. Working out is absolutely imperative for you to live happy and peaceful life.

The stresses of the modern world are too much for you to neglect this important mindfulness exercise. When you go to the gym, you burn calories, focus on activities one step at a time, your mind relaxes, anxiety decreases, you sweat and often think about topics unrelated to your work place among many other benefits.

You must exercise at least three hours each week for optimum results. Why? Just take a look at all the benefits of regular exercising:

12 Benefits of Regular Exercise You Should Know

The Bottom Line

It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. Now that our habitat has become too technological and many people just don’t want to unplug, engaging in daily prayer, celebrate your friends’ victories, and listening to your spouse are among the best ways to be mindful about what you are doing and how you are living.

It is possible to live a happy and peaceful life. It only depends on you.

Go exercise! Take a break from technology and invest in you! Life is too short for distractions.

More Resources About Mindfulness

Featured photo credit: Lesly Juarez via unsplash.com

Reference

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