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These 12 Things Would Happen When You Can Enjoy Being Alone

These 12 Things Would Happen When You Can Enjoy Being Alone

Lets face it, we live in a society where our value is judged by the radius of our social circle. A society which rewards the hyper-social and labels loners as weird and withdrawn. Admittedly whilst having a strong social group is beneficial to our health both physically and psychologically, those who can enjoy being alone in addition to social situations will become the happiest people out there.

In honesty, if you can’t enjoy being alone then you’re probably not doing anything important in life. Here are some reasons why.

1. You’ll Become Familiar With Exactly Who You Are

Anyone who spends a significant length of time alone will tell you of the enlightening effect it can have. When you’re alone and in silence, the voice in your head grows louder and more revealing.

It compensates for the lack of input usually made by other people, and eventually — if you listen to it — you’ll know your character on a much deeper level. Who said mindfulness was a social practice?

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2. You’ll No Longer Need Others to Be Happy

Let’s think this for a second. Who is more normal, someone who needs to remain around others to be happy, or those who can be happy solely within themselves? In reality, those who have a constant need to be surrounded by others in order to be joyful are the ones with the problem, though society would have us believe otherwise.

If you can’t enjoy being alone, then you can’t enjoy life in its fullest.

3. You’ll Be Better Off When The Going Gets Tough

It’s a known fact of life that if you’re trying to be successful, you won’t be surrounded by people you like all the time. In honesty, there will be people you hate. There will be people around you who try to bring you down, meaning that you’ll have to spend some time by yourself in order to get away from them. It’s better that you’re comfortable with it when you do.

4. You’ll Be More Confident In Social Situations

It sounds paradoxical doesn’t it? In order to be confident in social situations you need to be comfortable within the opposite of them. But it makes sense. If you lack the confidence to be alone you’ll panic and overcompensate, often coming across as needy — a code-red clinger around people. They’ll just think you’re weird. Only when you become okay with standing by yourself, only when you practice a level of detachment will you genuinely attract others.

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5. You’ll Have Clearness Of Mind

When you drop your attachment to being super-social like our society expects us to, you’ll stop caring for all the gossip which comes with it. Who is going where with who, or doing what. Who’s seeing who. Who hates who. Keeping tabs on all of these social aspects is energy consuming. When you’re good at being alone these things stop being a major concern.Your thoughts will occupy more important matters and will be put to better use. Leading me to my next point.

6. You’ll Be More Productive

Yes, with clearness of mind comes a rocketing in your productivity. Obvious right. Since you’ve freed up a lot of time and energy by forgetting about all the social dimensions, you’ll be free to spend them on things which will actually, y’know, get you places in life. Starting that business or reading that book, it will all come easier.

7. You’ll Notice Those Who Didn’t Appreciate You Much

After a period of time of becoming comfortable with being alone, others will wonder why you’re not so needy and attached to them as you once were. “OMG why aren’t they texting me!” or “Ugh he’s probably with someone else”, and you’ll be dropped quicker than a hot potato. These people are exactly the type who aren’t comfortable with being alone. They need social interaction to feel value in themselves, a toxic mindset.

Those who genuinely appreciate you will be thankful any time they get to spend with you, and they’ll be happy with your new-found confidence and productivity. The others will slowly fade away.

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8. You’ll Attract Similar People

This goes back to point 6. The combination of your confident aura and newly free social space will mean that you’ll begin to attract others who can handle not seeing you for prolonged periods of time. People who have other important stuff to do in their alone time and who aren’t concerned with gossip and the drama that comes with it. That is to say, people who enjoy being alone.

You’re the average of your peer group, if it’s filled with people doing important things and going important places, you too will do the same.

9. You Won’t Be As Disappointed When Others Let You Down

We’ve all been there, you’re all excited to meet your friend(s) for that fun night you planned, only for them to bail on you last minute. People who are attached to being around people will readily jump to a better opportunity if it arises, and quickly drop other plans they may have had. You won’t get this when you enjoy being alone because you’ll be around people who appreciate you more.

Even if they do bail you’ll always have your comfortable, productive self to fall back on to.

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10. You’ll Appreciate Others More

When you spend less time around people, gather your thoughts and get important stuff done, you realise the value of having people with integrity, self-confidence and low social attachment around you. When you eventually do get to spend time with others, you’ll appreciate it all the more, and ultimately have a better time with them.

Sometimes you have to take a couple of steps back to appreciate the bigger picture.

11. You’ll Become More Adventurous

When you’re comfortable with yourself and no longer require the acceptance of others in order to be happy, various social norms and expectations fly out the window. Pressures are lifted and you feel free to do whatever it is which makes you happy. Whether it’s trying a new hobby, planning a solo trip or practising meditation.

There’s no one to laugh at you. The social rope binding you will be cut, and you’ll be free to spread your wings and fly, or something.

12. You’ll Become More Reflective

It’s easy to get caught up in the lightening quick pace of the world, and often times we loose track of exactly where we are going in life. When you can enjoy the solitude you experience from being alone, it becomes possible to reflect on recent times. What went well, what could be improved, where you’re going. All things which need time and attention. Spending time alone will give you that.

Featured photo credit: Young guy siting on the roof via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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