Lets face it, we live in a society where our value is judged by the radius of our social circle. A society which rewards the hyper-social and labels loners as weird and withdrawn. Admittedly whilst having a strong social group is beneficial to our health both physically and psychologically, those who can enjoy being alone in addition to social situations will become the happiest people out there.
In honesty, if you can’t enjoy being alone then you’re probably not doing anything important in life. Here are some reasons why.
1. You’ll Become Familiar With Exactly Who You Are
Anyone who spends a significant length of time alone will tell you of the enlightening effect it can have. When you’re alone and in silence, the voice in your head grows louder and more revealing.
It compensates for the lack of input usually made by other people, and eventually — if you listen to it — you’ll know your character on a much deeper level. Who said mindfulness was a social practice?
2. You’ll No Longer Need Others to Be Happy
Let’s think this for a second. Who is more normal, someone who needs to remain around others to be happy, or those who can be happy solely within themselves? In reality, those who have a constant need to be surrounded by others in order to be joyful are the ones with the problem, though society would have us believe otherwise.
If you can’t enjoy being alone, then you can’t enjoy life in its fullest.
3. You’ll Be Better Off When The Going Gets Tough
It’s a known fact of life that if you’re trying to be successful, you won’t be surrounded by people you like all the time. In honesty, there will be people you hate. There will be people around you who try to bring you down, meaning that you’ll have to spend some time by yourself in order to get away from them. It’s better that you’re comfortable with it when you do.
4. You’ll Be More Confident In Social Situations
It sounds paradoxical doesn’t it? In order to be confident in social situations you need to be comfortable within the opposite of them. But it makes sense. If you lack the confidence to be alone you’ll panic and overcompensate, often coming across as needy — a code-red clinger around people. They’ll just think you’re weird. Only when you become okay with standing by yourself, only when you practice a level of detachment will you genuinely attract others.
5. You’ll Have Clearness Of Mind
When you drop your attachment to being super-social like our society expects us to, you’ll stop caring for all the gossip which comes with it. Who is going where with who, or doing what. Who’s seeing who. Who hates who. Keeping tabs on all of these social aspects is energy consuming. When you’re good at being alone these things stop being a major concern.Your thoughts will occupy more important matters and will be put to better use. Leading me to my next point.
6. You’ll Be More Productive
Yes, with clearness of mind comes a rocketing in your productivity. Obvious right. Since you’ve freed up a lot of time and energy by forgetting about all the social dimensions, you’ll be free to spend them on things which will actually, y’know, get you places in life. Starting that business or reading that book, it will all come easier.
7. You’ll Notice Those Who Didn’t Appreciate You Much
After a period of time of becoming comfortable with being alone, others will wonder why you’re not so needy and attached to them as you once were. “OMG why aren’t they texting me!” or “Ugh he’s probably with someone else”, and you’ll be dropped quicker than a hot potato. These people are exactly the type who aren’t comfortable with being alone. They need social interaction to feel value in themselves, a toxic mindset.
Those who genuinely appreciate you will be thankful any time they get to spend with you, and they’ll be happy with your new-found confidence and productivity. The others will slowly fade away.
8. You’ll Attract Similar People
This goes back to point 6. The combination of your confident aura and newly free social space will mean that you’ll begin to attract others who can handle not seeing you for prolonged periods of time. People who have other important stuff to do in their alone time and who aren’t concerned with gossip and the drama that comes with it. That is to say, people who enjoy being alone.
You’re the average of your peer group, if it’s filled with people doing important things and going important places, you too will do the same.
9. You Won’t Be As Disappointed When Others Let You Down
We’ve all been there, you’re all excited to meet your friend(s) for that fun night you planned, only for them to bail on you last minute. People who are attached to being around people will readily jump to a better opportunity if it arises, and quickly drop other plans they may have had. You won’t get this when you enjoy being alone because you’ll be around people who appreciate you more.
Even if they do bail you’ll always have your comfortable, productive self to fall back on to.
10. You’ll Appreciate Others More
When you spend less time around people, gather your thoughts and get important stuff done, you realise the value of having people with integrity, self-confidence and low social attachment around you. When you eventually do get to spend time with others, you’ll appreciate it all the more, and ultimately have a better time with them.
Sometimes you have to take a couple of steps back to appreciate the bigger picture.
11. You’ll Become More Adventurous
When you’re comfortable with yourself and no longer require the acceptance of others in order to be happy, various social norms and expectations fly out the window. Pressures are lifted and you feel free to do whatever it is which makes you happy. Whether it’s trying a new hobby, planning a solo trip or practising meditation.
There’s no one to laugh at you. The social rope binding you will be cut, and you’ll be free to spread your wings and fly, or something.
12. You’ll Become More Reflective
It’s easy to get caught up in the lightening quick pace of the world, and often times we loose track of exactly where we are going in life. When you can enjoy the solitude you experience from being alone, it becomes possible to reflect on recent times. What went well, what could be improved, where you’re going. All things which need time and attention. Spending time alone will give you that.
Featured photo credit: Young guy siting on the roof via shutterstock.com