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10 Signs You’re An Old Soul Trapped In A Young Body

10 Signs You’re An Old Soul Trapped In A Young Body

People have often call me an “old soul,” which is slightly ironic since I look pretty darn young for my age. In truth though, they do have a point. I really don’t act like most millenials. Whereas the majority of them are out partying and socializing, you’re more likely to find me reading a book, watching Netflix, or listening to NPR (in order to keep up with what’s going on around the world of course).

After some self-evaluation, it was easy to recognize what makes me an old soul. But what about you? How can you figure out if we share that same trait? Read on!

1. You are often described as being “boring”

Okay, so maybe people won’t come out and say you are boring to your face. But you get the feeling that your friends and acquaintances might think of you that way. It’s not like you can help it though; it’s not your fault that you’d rather stay indoors and relax than go bar hopping! Chances are that they’re going to wake up with more regrets than you the next day anyway, so why even bother?

2. You aren’t understood by your peers

If you are an old soul, then your mind works differently compared to most of the people in your age group. So much so that it can be hard to try and understand them. Of course, the reverse is true as well, meaning it’s likely they don’t understand you either.

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Often, this leads to some awkward conversations. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a situation where someone’s like “hey bro we’re going to go to a concert tonight, wanna join,” and I’m just like “uh, yeah, I’d rather just sit in front of a computer screen and play a video game. Thanks though.” That’s usually around the time when they start backing away slowly.

3. You get better grades

Having a near-zero desire to go out and party in high school and college means that you have much more free time to sleep and study. I can’t tell you how many times I was able to beat the grading curve in college due to the fact that 90% of the rest of my class was hungover or dead tired. Thanks guys!

4. You are probably single

The way we old souls act and think can make it difficult for someone our own age to understand us — let alone want to date us. There are of course exceptions, but by and large, you’ll probably find it harder to acquire a girlfriend or boyfriend. The great news is that we probably won’t be single when we’re older, since practically everyone starts to develop “old-soul” traits eventually (I mean, that makes sense right). But early on, it can be tough. In the meantime, you can always pretend to be dating a character from your favorite TV show (which one of my good friends continues to do — I swear it’s only half as creepy as it sounds).

5. You have wisdom and knowledge beyond your years

You can carry a conversation with your grandfather and other elders like it’s nothing. Indeed, your maturity sometimes gives you a kind of presence in the room that usually only comes with age and experience. If you are more enamored by the idea of acquiring wisdom and knowledge than you are about studying up on the Kardashians or England’s royal family, then you’re definitely on the right track.

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6. You have no qualms about being alone

While most people your age need to be around their peers and/or all sorts of forms of social medias, you are perfectly content with giving yourself a little bit of self-imposed solitary confinement. In truth, the majority of old souls are rather introverted (judging by how most millennials act, less interaction with the rest of our generation is probably a good thing).

7. You give everything a lot of thought

Old souls tend to be a bit less impulsive than others our age. If you’ve ever thought about the pros and cons of one item versus another for hours on end, then yeah, you’re probably an old soul.

In other words, you’re the person who will check out restaurant reviews on Yelp when all of your other friends are so starving that they’d be willing to eat just about anywhere. And while they might be mad about your restaurant-related waffling initially, they’ll certainly be thanking you once their food finally arrives. (See, we do have our uses!)

8. You are mystified by the rituals of your peers

I was always confused by the very concept of the traditional “college party.” Everybody gets drunk on cheap alcohol, and by the end of the night, nearly everyone has made some kind of questionable decision. Is that supposed to be fun? Am I crazy to think that it’s not? The few times I went to these things, I just couldn’t shake the feeling that I was taking part in something supremely ridiculous. (Which, now that I look back, is probably why I wasn’t invited to very many parties!)

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9. You aren’t into Facebook

Sure, you might have an account, and you may check it once in a while, but you don’t really care about how many friends you have or about updating your status. Same goes for other popular social medias, like Instagram and Twitter. It’s not that you necessarily consider them to be a waste of time, it’s just that for you, they’re dreadfully boring to work with.

10. You need frequent naps

Because old souls think like old people, they sometimes feel like them too. It’s a strange phenomenon, but as an old soul you often find yourself on your bed, catching a ten minute nap here, a twenty minute nap there. Is it because we, in our great wisdom, better understand the needs of our bodies? Or, perhaps being an old soul is a side effect of sleep deprivation? I’ll have to ask my scientist friends.

Due to both our frequent naps and relatively aloof, stoic nature, we often get accused of being “detached from reality.” I can assure you that this isn’t the case. We just happen to live in something of an alternate reality.

For the old soul, it isn’t about following the crowd. It’s about blazing our own trail and finding out what’s best for us — something the rest of our generation won’t figure out for at least another decade or two.

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So, now that you’ve read the signs, are you convinced that you are an old soul? Why or why not? Comment below!

Featured photo credit: introvert/Send me adrift. via flic.kr

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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