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8 Struggles Any Good Cook Would Understand

8 Struggles Any Good Cook Would Understand

“Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all.” – Harriet Van Horne.

The problem with being a good cook is that everybody expects you to produce amazingly good food every single time! There are no exceptions and no excuses are accepted. Once you are on the good cook list, you really have to work hard to stay in the top 10 and people are just incredibly fussy, judgmental and often damn you with faint praise. Cheap and cheerful recipes are not for you. If you are a good cook, here are 8 struggles which will certainly resonate with you.

1. You have to adjust the menu because…..

You telephone your guests well in advance and ask if they have any dietary restrictions. You can cope with vegetarian, vegan, lactose intolerant and even gluten free. The only problem is that when somebody adds a last minute guest who just happens to be lactose intolerant and you have ordered mozzarella cheese from your local dairy. You bang the saucepan on the counter top and feel perfectly justified in never inviting them again.

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2. You cannot find that spice.

Guess what? The turmeric spice which is an essential spice in your curry just happens to be behind all the other things in the spice cupboard. You are also running out of time and growling while tempted to throw everything on the floor.

3. You hate guests who arrive early.

The final countdown. Quite frankly, it is sometimes scary. These are the moments when everything has to mesh together for that perfect dinner party and then the doorbell rings. They hope you don’t mind they are half an hour early and they will not disturb you! You can cope with late guests up to a certain point but the early ones can ruin everything.

4. You love perfection but it is not easy.

Can you remember a dinner that went perfectly? The starters were gobbled up and there were enthusiastic murmurs. The pasta dish was perfectly done in a delicious sauce which was just right. Not too salty, not too bland, the pasta not too much ‘al dente’. The roast was perfectly cooked and not too dry and the syllabub was perfectly smooth and the ginger spice was not too strong. Dream on! There will always be something that just did not quite make the grade. Well, 90% is not so bad and you think that your friends’ cooking is pretty mediocre anyway. You remember when you had to eat those miserable, shrivelled up quails the last time you were invited to their place!

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5. You wait for the compliments that never come.

We all crave praise. It is human. But sometimes your dinner guests get caught up in some awful political discussion while you hope they will be distracted enough to give you a little praise. If only they knew the effort you made in ordering the right cut of meat, the detours you made to get the fresh vegetables, not to mention the problems in finding the fresh cream at the dairy because your normal shop had run out. Yes, it was Sunday and you should have known but you would never mention all that!

6. You dare not to experiment with a new dish.

It is just not worth the stress. I have decided never again to try out something new on my guests as it is far too risky. You have studied all the guru chefs and crawled the Internet for the perfect recipe. But it is much better to try it out on your own. Yes, it is a waste of food, energy, blood, sweat, and tears. But you know, it is worth it because there are times when you think ‘Thank goodness I did not try that on my guests.’ You also console yourself with the fact that cooking is a science and it is not about throwing some ingredients in a crockpot.

“There are people who claim to be instinctive cooks, who never follow recipes or weigh anything at all. All I can say is that they’re not very fussy about what they eat. For me, cooking is an exact art and not some casual game.” – Delia Smith.

7. You refuse to take shortcuts.

“The radiation left over from the Big Bang is the same as that in your microwave oven but very much less powerful. It would heat your pizza only to minus 271.3°C – not much good for defrosting the pizza, let alone cooking it.” – Stephen Hawking

You will rarely use the microwave of course. That is not real cooking. There are some shortcuts you refuse to take because you are a good cook and you want to keep your reputation. I have lots of friends who can spot home made pasta, fresh fish and even home made pie crust. Taking shortcuts just does not work. You have to do it the hard old way. That reminds me, I rarely make homemade vegetable stock and so far, I have got away with it!

8. You are always learning.

You spend hours researching and studying recipes and nobody realizes that. Of course, you learn from your mistakes and Julia Child recommends that good cooks should be fearless and have a lot of fun. You should also reflect on your successes and praise yourself to the skies, if no one else will!

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“Maybe the cat has fallen into the stew, or the lettuce has frozen, or the cake has collapsed. Eh bien, tant pis. Usually one’s cooking is better than one thinks it is. And if the food is truly vile, then the cook must simply grit her teeth and bear it with a smile, and learn from her mistakes.” – Julia Child, My Life in France.

Featured photo credit: I can cook! Watch me!/Phu Son via flickr.com

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Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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