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8 Struggles Only Introverted Parents Would Understand

8 Struggles Only Introverted Parents Would Understand

Whether you are a parent or not, if you openly declare yourself to be an introvert, you are likely to come across extroverts who will tell you that you are not an introvert. They tell you that the things you feel are the same as everyone else feels. They don’t really get it. Sorry extroverts, but you don’t. Nobody is 100% introverted or extroverted of course, it’s a scale. We can all exhibit traits of both at different times, but almost all of us will be predominantly more one way than the other.

One of the key differences is that introverts get their energy from being alone, and extroverts get their’s from being around people. That doesn’t mean that introverts never enjoy being with others, or that extroverts never want to be alone, it’s just about what we need in order to recharge. The manifestation is that introverts are more likely to feel awkward and uncomfortable in social situations than extroverts.

When we understand the differences, it becomes clear that there are certain struggles which are going to be more pronounced for introverted parents.

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1. We lose our alone time

Before having kids, we naturally had regular alone time. It was way easier to factor it in, but from the moment baby arrives, our alone time is gone, and that can be hard. It has nothing to do with love. We love our kids more than we thought possible, but remember that as an introvert, we NEED alone time to recharge. Suddenly, that becomes much more difficult to arrange, and we feel guilty for craving it.

2. We find other parents a bit scary

We see them clustered around the school gates, or at activity drop-off and pick-up times, chatting animatedly together, and it makes us nervous. We want to join in, but we don’t know how.

3. We have to be more social than we might want

Prior to becoming parents, we might have avoided hosting parties, or taking part in lots of social events, but once the kids arrive we have to step up. We’re happy to do it for them because we love seeing them enjoy it. We know that socializing is an important part of their development, but that doesn’t stop us from experiencing varying levels of anxiety as the event day approaches.

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4. We worry that our kids will miss out on invitations

This applies less and less the older they get, but when kids are smaller, it is mainly the parents that decide who to invite to play-dates and parties. Understandably, those early invitations will often go to the kids of parents they have interacted with. Therefore, we worry that our lack of ability to actively engage with other parents will mean our kids miss out.

5. We get misunderstood a lot

People mistake our awkwardness and lack of engagement for aloofness. They think we’re looking down on them. This obviously applies to non-parent introverts too, but it somehow becomes more pronounced once we are parents – particularly if our children are interacting with the other children and we are not really doing so with the parents. It can give the impression that we don’t approve of our child interacting with their children. Sometimes we try to just smile a lot, hoping that gives out a signal that we are friendly, but an awkward forced smile just makes it worse.

6. We feel guilty if one of our kids is introverted

Whether introversion is genetic, learned, or random, we worry that we may in some way be responsible for our child’s introversion, knowing the struggles they will have to deal with.

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7. We feel guilty if one of our kids is extroverted

Yep, there’s guilt here too. While we’re delighted for them that they are confident and outgoing, we feel guilty that we can’t always be the way they want us to be. They want us to be much more social, outgoing, and assertive like they are. They can also feel frustrated at times by our more withdrawn avoidance approach to life.

8. We find that strangers talk to us more

From the moment we have a small baby in tow (or for the moms, from the moment our tummy bump appears), we apparently send out an open invitation for anyone and everyone to talk to us. A short friendly exchange with a stranger can be pleasant (even for an introvert), but the full-on unexpected grilling and life story exchange in the supermarket checkout line can be overwhelming for an introvert.

If you are an introverted parent, can you relate to these? At least take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. Rather than looking enviously at those animated extroverted parents, look around for the more withdrawn ones like yourself. Seek them out. Now you’ll both have someone to stand next to while you smile around awkwardly.

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Featured photo credit: Little Girl in Amusement Park/Viktor Hanacek via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on August 12, 2019

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

Mentally strong people have healthy habits. They manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that set them up for success in life.

Take a look at these 13 things that mentally strong people don’t do so that you too can become mentally stronger.

1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.

2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power

They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.

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3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change

Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.

4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control

You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude.

5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone

Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.

6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks

They don’t take reckless or foolish risks, but don’t mind taking calculated risks. Mentally strong people spend time weighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action.

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7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past

Mentally strong people don’t waste time dwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They acknowledge their past and can say what they’ve learned from it.

However, they don’t constantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days. Instead, they live for the present and plan for the future.

8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over

Mentally strong people accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.

9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success

Mentally strong people can appreciate and celebrate other people’s success in life. They don’t grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them. Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.

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10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure

Mentally strong people don’t view failure as a reason to give up. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.

11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time

Mentally strong people can tolerate being alone and they don’t fear silence. They aren’t afraid to be alone with their thoughts and they can use downtime to be productive.

They enjoy their own company and aren’t dependent on others for companionship and entertainment all the time but instead can be happy alone.

12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything

Mentally strong people don’t feel entitled to things in life. They weren’t born with a mentality that others would take care of them or that the world must give them something. Instead, they look for opportunities based on their own merits.

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13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results

Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground, mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results. Instead, they apply their skills and time to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.

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Featured photo credit: Candice Picard via unsplash.com

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