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10 Misconceptions About Being in Love with An Introvert

10 Misconceptions About Being in Love with An Introvert

Many writers can relate with being an introvert. So it is something I am well aware of. The problem is that sometimes it is hard for others to figure us out. When you are in love with someone, you likely want to communicate with and treat them with care. Even when you are different than the person you love, you can be there for them. You are definitely lucky to love an introvert — many people find them to be better lovers than other types of people. Here are some common misconceptions about introverts and how to deal with them:

1. They are too quiet

Introverts are not quiet, they are processing. You should be concerned about what they have to say anytime they do say something. This is because introverts like to process their thoughts and take their time in spilling out words. Give them the opportunity to say as much as they can and do not be a constant interrupter. Allow them to think things through and give you their honest opinion.

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2. They demand your attention when they speak

It is not just about listening and offering them attention when they say something you should be concerned about what they have to say and make them know this. Try repeating what they have said and letting them know that you have been paying attention. Introverts want you to listen to you and prove you listened to what they said. They don’t mean this in a rude way.

3. They want to be ignored in a group

They may feel awkward and left out when they are in a group, especially among people who they have never met before. It is always considerate when you can involve them in a group discussion and acknowledging their presence by allowing them to start a topic of interest. An introvert may not be the first to jump into to a conversation but do like being included! Without these valuable personality types, we would be living in a loud, overwhelming world.

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4. They don’t appreciate grand gestures

Introverts will prefer to spend some quiet time alone with you and get the best out of your relationship rather than take you out on a big date with so many people. A grand gesture to them is different than having a large party celebrating a promotion or visiting a crowded place. To an introvert, a loving and grand gesture just might be a quiet date where they can spend time with someone they truly love. It is not as if they are shy or timid, they just want to get the best out of what they are familiar with.

5. They always want to write down their thoughts

Some introverts want to write down their thoughts because it gives them time to really thing. One of the best things about loving an introvert are the some amazing text messages, notes, or poems from them. Many introverts love to put their words on paper or in writing rather than just spilling them out. This does not mean they can’t communicate while speaking, it just means they prefer writing in many cases. So if you are finding it difficult communicating with them verbally, just let them do some writing for you.

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6. They like to sound smart

Don’t expect directionless chattering from an introvert. This is not because they want to sound smart or show off their intelligence, it is just that they do not prefer mindless conversations.  If you are concerned about them understand that aimless discussions will only put you on a back burner. They love abstract discussions, like who is your best philosopher, what really lives on Mars, what happens when we are asleep. They rarely talk about people who don’t matter or engage in gossips. They would prefer to be alone with their minds rather than be doing such. Loving an introvert can be challenging and fun!

7. They are good problem solvers

So rather than create problems for you, they would rather be looking for solutions for you. They are analytical and think things through. They could just be given you an inspired guess when they are put on the spot.

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8. They avoid you every once in a while

Being alone allows an introvert to recharge and should not be taken as a personal affront. Whether you want it or not, an introvert will need some time alone to deal with their personalities. Introverts are often introspective and may not be good sport at certain times since they use time alone to recharge their batteries.You might get boosted by other people while they only relax by gathering their thoughts, unwinding, or reading.

9. They can come across as snobs

It is easy to term them as snobs for their introverted nature because they do not always go out of their way to talk to people. An introvert isn’t being a snob, they just have a tough time coming out of their shell. It is easier for them to keep to themselves and be more comfortable in situations where they can keep to themselves. This doesn’t mean they are snobs or feel superior to others.

10. They are shy

There is a common perception that introverts are shy. They can do well in a social gathering it just depends on the situation they are facing. It is one thing to be quiet or shy and certainly it is another to appreciate solitude. Introverts try to tap into their internal energy by being alone. Even when they are in gathering they would love to recharge their energy at some point. They are not shy, it is just that being around people at certain times can be unsuitable to their nature. Loving an introvert can be very rewarding and pays off in the long-run.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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