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10 Misconceptions About Being in Love with An Introvert

10 Misconceptions About Being in Love with An Introvert

Many writers can relate with being an introvert. So it is something I am well aware of. The problem is that sometimes it is hard for others to figure us out. When you are in love with someone, you likely want to communicate with and treat them with care. Even when you are different than the person you love, you can be there for them. You are definitely lucky to love an introvert — many people find them to be better lovers than other types of people. Here are some common misconceptions about introverts and how to deal with them:

1. They are too quiet

Introverts are not quiet, they are processing. You should be concerned about what they have to say anytime they do say something. This is because introverts like to process their thoughts and take their time in spilling out words. Give them the opportunity to say as much as they can and do not be a constant interrupter. Allow them to think things through and give you their honest opinion.

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2. They demand your attention when they speak

It is not just about listening and offering them attention when they say something you should be concerned about what they have to say and make them know this. Try repeating what they have said and letting them know that you have been paying attention. Introverts want you to listen to you and prove you listened to what they said. They don’t mean this in a rude way.

3. They want to be ignored in a group

They may feel awkward and left out when they are in a group, especially among people who they have never met before. It is always considerate when you can involve them in a group discussion and acknowledging their presence by allowing them to start a topic of interest. An introvert may not be the first to jump into to a conversation but do like being included! Without these valuable personality types, we would be living in a loud, overwhelming world.

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4. They don’t appreciate grand gestures

Introverts will prefer to spend some quiet time alone with you and get the best out of your relationship rather than take you out on a big date with so many people. A grand gesture to them is different than having a large party celebrating a promotion or visiting a crowded place. To an introvert, a loving and grand gesture just might be a quiet date where they can spend time with someone they truly love. It is not as if they are shy or timid, they just want to get the best out of what they are familiar with.

5. They always want to write down their thoughts

Some introverts want to write down their thoughts because it gives them time to really thing. One of the best things about loving an introvert are the some amazing text messages, notes, or poems from them. Many introverts love to put their words on paper or in writing rather than just spilling them out. This does not mean they can’t communicate while speaking, it just means they prefer writing in many cases. So if you are finding it difficult communicating with them verbally, just let them do some writing for you.

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6. They like to sound smart

Don’t expect directionless chattering from an introvert. This is not because they want to sound smart or show off their intelligence, it is just that they do not prefer mindless conversations.  If you are concerned about them understand that aimless discussions will only put you on a back burner. They love abstract discussions, like who is your best philosopher, what really lives on Mars, what happens when we are asleep. They rarely talk about people who don’t matter or engage in gossips. They would prefer to be alone with their minds rather than be doing such. Loving an introvert can be challenging and fun!

7. They are good problem solvers

So rather than create problems for you, they would rather be looking for solutions for you. They are analytical and think things through. They could just be given you an inspired guess when they are put on the spot.

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8. They avoid you every once in a while

Being alone allows an introvert to recharge and should not be taken as a personal affront. Whether you want it or not, an introvert will need some time alone to deal with their personalities. Introverts are often introspective and may not be good sport at certain times since they use time alone to recharge their batteries.You might get boosted by other people while they only relax by gathering their thoughts, unwinding, or reading.

9. They can come across as snobs

It is easy to term them as snobs for their introverted nature because they do not always go out of their way to talk to people. An introvert isn’t being a snob, they just have a tough time coming out of their shell. It is easier for them to keep to themselves and be more comfortable in situations where they can keep to themselves. This doesn’t mean they are snobs or feel superior to others.

10. They are shy

There is a common perception that introverts are shy. They can do well in a social gathering it just depends on the situation they are facing. It is one thing to be quiet or shy and certainly it is another to appreciate solitude. Introverts try to tap into their internal energy by being alone. Even when they are in gathering they would love to recharge their energy at some point. They are not shy, it is just that being around people at certain times can be unsuitable to their nature. Loving an introvert can be very rewarding and pays off in the long-run.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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