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20 Signs You Have The Coolest Dad In The World

20 Signs You Have The Coolest Dad In The World

I am part of Generation X, which has experiences the recession, the Tech Bust 5 and the Credit Crisis. Wages have been relatively flat the last ten years so most Generation X households have both parents working. When dads get home there is still much to be done around the house because Mom is just getting home from work too. I am not the father my Dad was. I wish I were. I am learning how to be a cool Dad in the society that exists now. There are many good messages a household with two working parents give to their children. Examples of partnership and equality, but I can’t help wish that I could stop the duties that begin after I get home to spend more time with my children. Here are things my Father did with me and I am trying to find time to do. He was a cool Dad.

To make you feel like you are the whole world to them even when you have other siblings, that is what makes a Dad cool. When all the external pressures they are under never seep into the space you occupy with them. That makes a Dad cool.  A Dad can create that for a child by doing little things all the time. As children we do have the fond memories of a few big vacations with the family. Some of those fond memories are the ones of vacations that may not have gone so smoothly. The memories we have that are the clearest however are the times that were consistent and were small gestures. In this day and age it is growing more difficult for children and parents to have those moments together. Times they can just focus on eachother. Dad may have a cell phone he is always looking down at, or the child may be the one with the phone.

Here are 20 signs that you have the coolest Dad in the world.

1. Every summer day after work he takes you to the neighborhood pool to play catch in the water.

I loved playing catch with my father and brothers. I also loved the fact that the pool was away from the house. It allowed us to really focus on eachother without any outside distractions. My Dad had a gym bag in his closet by his shoes that was always packed with balls for the pool. He would slip off his shoes and quickly change and grab the bag. Taking his kids to a pool makes them feel appreciated.

2. He wrestles with you and lets you win until you are 13…then all bets are off.  How else are you going to learn to be a man?

My Dad was perfect at “fake losing” and as we got older we realized he was no longer doing that. My Dad was strong and a good athlete, but he never competed with us. He saw any time together as quality time.

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3. He is your soccer coach even if he doesn’t want to be, and you think he wants to be.

My Dad hated being the coach. He only did it because our first coach quit out of the blue. We were a terrible team. My Dad did his best and I’ll always love and respect him for it. If a father does something selfless for his children and their friends, this is how they can tell he really cares about them.

4. He gets up at dawn to pack the car for your family vacation, and always makes every suitcase fit perfectly like a jigsaw puzzle or the video game tetris.

No one, and I mean no one, could pack a car like my father. A father has a duty to teach his kids life skills, even if they may seem simple, they will help his children to get along in their future.

5. He has the route to your family vacation spot memorized and doesn’t need a map.

I thought this was a special power until my third trip to California with my family. After you drive a route a few times the first of which you’re under deress you never forget your turnoffs. In many ways a dad is also a role model for his kids.

6. Before there were thermometers in cars he pressed the back of his hand to his car door window to see what the temperature was outside instead of rolling down the window creating a huricane in the car.

I once had a girl develop a crush on me in college because I did this. I swear it’s the truth. Children look up to their dads if they have smart and extraordinary ways of doing simple things.

7. He puts your homemade pen holder on his desk at work and actually uses it.

I was not artistic. He was so proud. If your dad is proud of your childish creations, he really cares about you.

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8. He will act silly infront of you like pretending to play the guitar on a tennis racket in his underwear with a child’s cowboy hat on his head.

My mother has actual photographic documentation of this. Dad’s lucky there wasn’t social media back then. Still, nothing makes a dad happier than to see his children laugh.

9. He wears a Halloween costume every Halloween.

I’ve started doing this. My kids love it. Older kids will give me a nod of approval as well. You’ve got to stay young at heart.

10. He’s the first person you shared a beer with.

It takes the mistery out of drinking. I think it helps kids not binge drink because drinking is not so forbiden.

11. He’ll drink scotch with you even though he doesn’t like scotch.

My Dad is a wine drinker. But he’ll try anything if it means we can sit on the back porch and talk longer.

12. He is proud of you and wants you to live your life and not the one he didn’t get to live.

I didn’t even know what sports my Dad played in high school until I was in high school. He also down played his major in college. Still he never made me feel bad about not persuing his career because their children’s happiness is the only that matters to a father.

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13. He teaches you to respect people and prepares you to know that you must earn respect.

My Dad was a hard worker to put food on the table. He never brought his problems home and he treated my Mom and us three boys with respect. That made it easy for us to respect him.

14. He doesn’t shave on vacations. He also knows that there is a time and a place where personal hygene is less important, like on a camping trip.

I’ve continued this tradition. It is important for kids to see that their father can let go and simply enjoy time with his family now and then.

15. If you get injured in sports or playing with your friends he tells you to “shake it off” and teaches you the difference between a “battle wound” and a serious injury.

I wish I saw more of this in kids today. My son has a few “battle wounds”. He’s tough. But it’s the responsibility of a father to teach this lesson.

16. He treats your Mom like a Queen, and is a good role model for how to treat a spouse.

My parents are true partners and respect eachother. Teaching his kids to treat women with respect is one of the most important tasks a father has.

17. He treats every failure you have as a learning experience and allows you to fail. He gives guidance but does not let it interfere with you choosing your own path.

My Dad wanted us to live our own lives and be our own persons. He used to say that my brothers and I were all very different people.

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18. He understands why you want to be dropped off 100 yards away from where you and your friends are meeting girls at the mall (or boys at the mall).

I never did this. I had a friend who would make his Grandma drop us off this way. She took it in stride. Great lady.

19. When you have a bad game or race he knows it is not the time to “coach”.

I have adopted this from my father. I know my son appreciates it. No one is harder on you than you. Nothing is as bad as you think it really is. My Dad once told me that people are concered with their own lives, they are not giving you much thought.

20. He understands what builds your relationship are the small things. The everyday moments you spend together.

The big vacations were great, but they are fading in my memory. The day to day experiences are what I remember.

Featured photo credit: http://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/ via google.com

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Last Updated on August 19, 2019

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

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2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

Reference

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