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8 Signs You Are An Ambivert Even If You Don’t Feel You Are

8 Signs You Are An Ambivert Even If You Don’t Feel You Are

I always hated putting labels on things, especially people, because it implies that whatever a thing or person is labeled as is set in stone. Saying someone is an introvert conjures up images of a reclusive individual who reads and talks to her cat all day, while the word “extrovert” brings to mind a party-hard, boisterous frat boy. But nobody is simply one or the other. In fact, most people probably fall in the middle of the scale, and can consider themselves ambiverts. Okay, I guess that is a label, but it’s much more fluid than either extreme. So, you might be an ambivert if:

1. You’re comfortable in a variety of social settings

In high school and college, it was always considered weird to eat alone. I never really understood that, and to be honest, I usually felt a bit uncomfortable when a classmate would come and sit by me when they saw I was sitting by myself. I understand they just didn’t want me to feel lonely or left out, but it never occurred to them that I actively sought out an empty table at which to eat a quiet lunch by myself.

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On the other hand, (in my college days, at least) I was more than happy to get a group of five or six people together and hit the bars for a night on the town. I definitely would never find myself at a bar in my college town by myself, that’s for sure. It all depends on the situation, and your current mood.

2. You have a “happy-medium” point when spending time with others

My wife is a perfect example of this. When I get together with my friends, we tend to go into overkill mode, mostly because we rarely see each other anymore. We’ll overstay our welcome at each other’s homes, or we’ll try to keep the night going even though all of us just want to go back to bed. My wife, on the other hand, is more than happy visiting friends for an hour or two, and coming back home to relax for the rest of the night. She is one of the most outgoing people I know, and makes friends quickly wherever she goes, but she also needs time to recharge and be away from even the ones she cares about the most.

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3. You stay pretty even-keel

This doesn’t mean you experience sudden mood swings, however. Ambiverts are pretty flexible, and because of that, they don’t tend to go to extremes. They won’t fly off the handle, but they also won’t sit there “stewing in their own juices” either. Ambiverts can deal with negative situations in positive ways to ensure a better outcome for all involved. Because of this, they’re often seen as leaders who can navigate bad waters, and get teams or groups through awful situations.

4. You’re a “Jack of all trades”

Ambiverts usually have a variety of talents, but often don’t specialize in just one area. Again, because you’re easily adaptable to a variety of situations, you’re often the “go-to” person when it comes to getting things done. You often get the ball rolling on projects, and are the one to seek out advice from those more knowledgeable about certain topics than yourself. Though you are the one to get everyone up out of their seat and moving, you also will take a backseat and listen to what others have to say.

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5. You enjoy meeting new people, but usually through friends

You’re not the kind of person that would just go up to someone and initiate conversation, but you’re not a misanthrope, either. You like meeting people through friends because you know there’s a better chance you have something in common. Since you don’t have to waste time on small talk, you can dive right into each other’s interests, and can spend time deep in meaningful conversation. For introverts, networking is usually a nightmare; but for ambiverts, knowing the people around you share common interests is enough to push you into the fray.

6. You wear different hats depending on the situation

You don’t just fit in at one spot. Since you’re flexible, you adjust your personality based on the situation. At a concert, you’ll be up dancing and singing with the rest of the superfans. At a bookstore, you’re more than happy to curl up in the corner with a new novel without saying a word for hours on end. At dinners with friends you can come just short of causing a scene, while on a dinner date with your girlfriend’s parents you dress well and engage in polite conversation. This doesn’t mean you’re phony: it means you understand that different settings call for different behavior, and you have the ability to adjust yourself accordingly.

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7. You balance yourself depending on who you’re with

I definitely find myself on either side of this category. When I’m with my wife, who is generally well-reserved when in public, I’m always the one doing something silly just to get a rise out of her, and make each moment as memorable as possible. On the other hand, some of my friends are the wackiest people I’ve ever met; when they get in the zone, I tend to sit back and enjoy the show. It’s always good to have a person in the group to entertain everyone else, but it’s definitely best to have someone to keep everyone grounded.

8. You often face an inner battle between fear of missing out and resting up

Some Fridays, you just want to stay home all weekend and catch up on sleep, chores, and errands. Then happy hour comes around and you wish you could split yourself in two so one side of you could get that stuff done, and the other could go out and unwind with your pals. Thinking about it, being an ambivert is the worst! You have so many needs to cover, and so little time to cover them in. Wouldn’t it be nice if you actually didn’t want to go out, and could be happy spending a weekend all by yourself without the anxious feeling that you’re missing something awesome happening?

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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Matt Duczeminski

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Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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