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12 Signs You’re Doing Better Than You Think You Are

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12 Signs You’re Doing Better Than You Think You Are

Sometimes in life, we become so focused on what we haven’t achieved that we lose sight of what we have. It’s easy to forget about all the progress we’ve made, and be discouraged by all the things in our lives that are going wrong or ‘missing’.

But maybe it’s time to start taking pride in our progress. Maybe it’s time that we recognize all the accomplishments we’ve made and the true significance of these accomplishments.

That being said, here are 12 signs that you’re doing better than you think you are.

1. You know what you don’t want.

We spend so much of our lives searching for what we truly want. The life partner that will make our lives more meaningful. The career that will make us more fulfilled. We look at those around us and wonder why we haven’t yet achieved all that they have.

But we don’t have to base our lives on other people’s schedules. It’s okay to take your time to figure out what you don’t want. It’s okay to narrow down your choices.

It’s okay to discover what you want through finding out what you don’t. You want to be happy, not just content – and you deserve that.

2. You take responsibility for your life.

We’ve all experienced some form of pain in our lives. Maybe we’ve suffered heartbreak, death of a loved one, financial hardship, or problems with our families and friends.

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We can’t erase those horrible experiences, but we can choose to move forward from them. If you’ve realized that your future is in your hands, then you’re taking responsibility for your life and what happens to you.

You understand that you can’t change the past but you can change what happens from now on.

3. You know the value of genuine relationships.

At one point or another, you’ve probably surrounded yourself with negative, toxic people. People who bring out the worst in you. But now you’ve let those people go.

You understand that it’s not about the quantity of people that you know – but the quality of the relationships. You know that you deserve to spend your time with people who deserve your time.

You refuse to be around people who bring you down and who are unable to share your happiness and you know that you deserve so much better.

4. You know there’s more to life than material possessions.

It’s so easy to get caught up in trying to find happiness through objects, but such happiness doesn’t last. You don’t need to buy the latest products to be happy. Likewise, you don’t need the most expensive clothes or house.

If you know that happiness doesn’t lie in material possessions, then you’re placing more importance in the relationships in your life. You know that a homemade birthday card from a friend can be much more meaningful than an expensive gift from the shop.

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5. You don’t let the little things bother you.

We all get upset from time to time, and for different reasons. Regardless of what the problems are, no matter how big or small, our feelings are always valid. However, we need to remind ourselves that life really is short.

If you don’t let the little things bother you, then you’re giving yourself more time to experience all the good that life has to offer. You’re bouncing back sooner and finding the maturity to move on.

You’re making the conscious decision to choose happiness over anger.

6. You don’t let pride get in the way of asking questions.

We all need help sometimes. Naturally, we all want to grow and to expand our knowledge. If you find yourself struggling to ask questions, don’t let embarrassment and shame talk you out of it.

There’s no such thing as a stupid question. If you already find yourself asking questions when you’re unsure, be proud that you do. You understand and value achieving growth through learning.

7. You know that life is about balance.

It’s easy to struggle with the work-life balance, but you know where your priorities lie. You may not always get it right, but you try your best and that’s what matters. You do what you can to spend time with your family and friends.

You do what you can for yourself and for your career, and you do what you can to look after yourself physically, emotionally and mentally.

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8. You’re grateful for what you do have.

There’s a lot in your life that could improve, but you choose to be a ‘glass half full’ person. You know that there are people in your life that you can depend on and who care about you. You know that your house may not be the most extravagant, but you’re grateful that you have a roof over your head.

Some people aren’t blessed with the basic necessities that you have and you can appreciate that fact. You’re grateful that you have the freedom to do what you want with your life and although you may not ‘have it all’, you’re grateful for all that you do have.

9. You’ve picked yourself up after challenges.

We’ve all climbed mountains we thought we’d never surpass. We’ve been confronted with challenges that have tested us on so many levels.

Yet, here we are, still standing. If you’ve fallen down and picked yourself up, recognize the amount of strength that it took. Acknowledge that you’ve overcome so many adversities you once thought you couldn’t and how you’re so much stronger than you knew.

10. You’ve made progress in an area of your life.

You may not be the best at a specific skill but you’re trying your best. You’ve made improvements and that’s what’s important. Don’t spend time comparing yourself to others – you are your own unique person with your own unique skills and talents.

If you’re making consistent progress, then give yourself a pat on the back, because you’re already heading in the right direction and that’s what matters.

11. You add meaning to the people in your life.

Sometimes, when we’re feeling down about life and all the goals we haven’t achieved, we might forget the impact that we’re having on people’s lives. You might not have the career that you want or achieved the goals that you’ve planned yet, but you’re making people smile. You’re making them laugh. You’re making their lives brighter just by being in it.

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Even if you don’t realize it, you’re likely adding much value to the lives of others just by being there. Paying your friend a compliment may not seem like much to you, but it could be making all the difference to them. I

t could be the thing that gives them hope when they need it the most.

12. You’re striving to become a better person.

Life is a learning curve. We don’t need to be perfect. We don’t need to live free from mistakes. If you are determined to improve yourself and to become better, then you are already halfway there.

You may not be happy with your career, your relationships, with who you are, but you still have the chance and the opportunity to have a brighter future. If you are doing all you can to become better, then maybe you’re doing better than you think you are.

Featured photo credit: Attractive Hipster Male Relaxing Near River via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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