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11 Signs You Are An Exceptionally Likeable Person (Even If You Don’t Feel You Are)

11 Signs You Are An Exceptionally Likeable Person (Even If You Don’t Feel You Are)

Being a likeable person brings you many benefits. People who are likeable often get more privileges in life. People enjoy being around you if you are likeable, and as a result, you are often being treated kindly. You gain more opportunities when you are likeable, because let’s face it, people enjoy giving opportunities to people they like. We can all learn to be likeable, if we are willing to make ourselves a better person.

Check out these 11 signs of an exceptionally likeable person:

1. They are genuine

Likeable people say what they mean, and they mean what they say. They are always honest to themselves and to others. They never try to be someone they are not.  People who appreciate honesty feel comfortable asking for their opinion, because they know that they will always tell them the truth.

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2. They are curious about others

Likeable people is very interested in what others have to share with them. They enjoy learning about others and value what they can learn from everyone. People love to share their stories and experiences with them because they know that they will be thrilled to hear their stories.

3. They are good listeners

Likeable people are always attentive to what people are telling them. They are not distracted or too eager to speak out when someone is sharing their stories or telling them something. People enjoy talking to them because they are always respectful to the person they are interacting with during conversations.

4. They are humble

To them, humility is the ability or the willingness to learn from others. They never hesitate to share the credit for the accomplishment they achieved. People like having them as their friend, because of their humbleness.

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5. They are always punctual

They are always on time for their meetings or appointments, because they respect the time of others. They organize their time effectively. People are pleased with their punctuality and are rest assured that they will always be on time for any occasion.

6. They are not judgemental

They understand that every individual is different, so they don’t criticize the choices other people make, even if those choices are very different from their personal preferences. People feel comfortable sharing their situation with them because they know that they will always respect their choices, and that they will never judge them or the decisions they make.

7. They are caring and helpful

They always lend a hand to the people who needed help if they are able. They care about others’ feelings and need. People come to them when they really needed help, because they know that they will try to help them as long as they are able to.

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8. They love to smile and are a positive thinker

They never fail to put on a smile when they come across someone. They lighten up the mood of others. They look at the good side instead of the bitter side of things. People feel happy or lighten up when they are interacting with them, because they possess a friendly and upbeat nature.

9. They are empathetic

They understand others’ suffering and are compassionate toward them. They always stand in others’ shoes and are able to feel others’ pain. People will put down their defenses and replace it with positive energy when dealing with them, because they are able to show them deep compassion.

10. They have an open heart

They are always willing to let others in. They know that only an open heart will allow them to be equal with others. People are willing to be more open to them because they have shown them that it is okay to be vulnerable.

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11. They are not attention seekers

They do not appreciate narcissism, therefore they don’t focus their time and efforts on seeking for attention from others. They rather use their time for productive activities, to gain more knowledge and learn new things. People like to hang with them because they know that they don’t have to be the audience of a narcissistic person.

More by this author

Crystie Lim

Life Coach

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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