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10 Things To Remember If You Love a Dramatic Person

10 Things To Remember If You Love a Dramatic Person

Has anyone ever said to you outright, “you’re so dramatic?” Felt good, huh? No?  For some reason, I’ve always hated admitting that I like being dramatic. Have you ever tried to hide your dramatic side? Don’t — it’s hard to be full of passion, vigor, and well, sometimes perhaps too much emotion, but it’s a lot more fun too!

As much as I’ve tried to hide the impassioned side of me, it always finds a way to surface. As a theatre graduate, I spent four years with the most talented dramatic people around. We were crazy, but we were also showstoppers. Does that sound like you?

As a life coach, I see people apologizing for being dramatic left and right. Who said being dramatic was always a bad thing? Dramatic people know how to take charge of their lives, and that’s beautiful to witness! Know a dramatic person? Are you pushing yourself or them off the stage?

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Here are 10 things to remember if you love a dramatic person, and if you don’t, then give us a second chance. Why?

1.  They love hard

No one wants to be loved softly. Think about that… it sounds lame. Who wants a weak kiss right before bed? Who wants a soft pat on the butt? You want someone who’s going to fiercely love you. Sure, they’ll embarrass the hell out of you in public with too much PDA, but you’ll never feel more violated in a loving way. We’re always ready to hold your hand so you’ll never feel alone.

2.  They bring you out of your shell

Dramatic people always bring out the best in others. So many of us are wandering around wearing masks, afraid to show our faces. Dramatic people have no problem showing their true selves to the world. The world is their stage and if you’re part of their show then you better be ready to perform as well. They have an uncanny ability to draw people out of their comfort zones and in doing so, push them to experience all of life’s pleasures.

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3.  They live emotionally

According to Dr. John M. Oldham, “dramatic men and women live in an emotional world.” Sometimes you don’t want to hear all the drama, but hey, at least they’re willing to talk about it. Is it better to bottle up all the emotions until they spill over into some passive aggressive argument? No! Dramatic people express fully what they’re feeling in the moment.

4.  They entertain, even if you haven’t asked them to

Bored? Sad? Tired? Just give them a call and they’ll change your mood.  Research from The New Personality Self-Portrait shows that dramatic people love to be the center of attention. They’ll probably start singing for no good reason, ready to break up your mundane day. The best of the drama queens always have a tune running through their head. Why not share the joy? Everyone needs a little singing in his or her life. You can always count on them for entertainment.

5.   They are “fierce!”

In fact, it’s probably their favorite word! All day long they walk around and shout “fierce” whenever they’re “nailing it.” And they “nail it” everyday because they’ve gotta stay “fierce.” It’s a sick sweet cycle. Who doesn’t want to be “fierce?” Don’t apologize for your brilliance, the world needs more dramatic people like you to step into greatness. Note to self: just don’t get all cocky about it. Fierce humility is sexy!

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6.  They support your vision

Research shows that dramatic people “eagerly respond to new ideas,” according to The New Personality Self-Portrait. If you want some pumping up about your next big project, tell a dramatic person about it. Even better, if you want some help, tell a dramatic person about it. You’ll be hard pressed to find a dramatic person whose spirit is not willing to say “yes.” Speak passionately about your idea and you’ll have another soul warrior on your team. They will go the extra mile for you, they will put in the hard work, and they will impress! They will also be extremely resentful later on if you make them do too much. Speaking from experience here! Use them wisely; they are wiser than they look.

7.  They will charm your socks off, even if you’re wearing sandals

Want to feel amazing about yourself? Hang around a dramatic person. They’ll either compliment you up and down about your stylish new summer haircut, or want to know where you got your new clothes. First time meeting? A little shy? No worries, they always know what to say to make you smile. They’ll lift your spirits so high that you might come right out of your socks.

8.  They want your attention

Some people think this is annoying. But what’s the alternative? Cold, innaffectionate, and stand-offish? Nah, I’d rather have someone who’s always overly excited to see me. I know sometimes they want too much from you, but that’s just because they love you! Anything wrong with that? They promise not to drool!

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9.  They won’t ignore you

Isn’t it always nice to know they’re thinking about you? Admit it, you like the attention! A dramatic person will be the last person to ignore you because they can’t stand being ignored. They would rather talk to themselves then awkwardly sit in silence with you. Feeling lonely? Just go find someone talking to themselves, likely they’re a bit dramatic and would love to talk. And lastly…

10.  They are imagining the next big idea

Dramatic people tend to have “rich imaginations” according to Louis B. Morris and John M. Oldham. Imaginative ideas fly out of them almost as fast as they talk. Not only that, but they are readily willing to share their next blockbuster with anyone they come in contact with. Dramatic people have an infectious ability to inspire change in the world! Will you go along for the ride?

Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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