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10 Things To Remember If You Love a Dramatic Person

10 Things To Remember If You Love a Dramatic Person

Has anyone ever said to you outright, “you’re so dramatic?” Felt good, huh? No?  For some reason, I’ve always hated admitting that I like being dramatic. Have you ever tried to hide your dramatic side? Don’t — it’s hard to be full of passion, vigor, and well, sometimes perhaps too much emotion, but it’s a lot more fun too!

As much as I’ve tried to hide the impassioned side of me, it always finds a way to surface. As a theatre graduate, I spent four years with the most talented dramatic people around. We were crazy, but we were also showstoppers. Does that sound like you?

As a life coach, I see people apologizing for being dramatic left and right. Who said being dramatic was always a bad thing? Dramatic people know how to take charge of their lives, and that’s beautiful to witness! Know a dramatic person? Are you pushing yourself or them off the stage?

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Here are 10 things to remember if you love a dramatic person, and if you don’t, then give us a second chance. Why?

1.  They love hard

No one wants to be loved softly. Think about that… it sounds lame. Who wants a weak kiss right before bed? Who wants a soft pat on the butt? You want someone who’s going to fiercely love you. Sure, they’ll embarrass the hell out of you in public with too much PDA, but you’ll never feel more violated in a loving way. We’re always ready to hold your hand so you’ll never feel alone.

2.  They bring you out of your shell

Dramatic people always bring out the best in others. So many of us are wandering around wearing masks, afraid to show our faces. Dramatic people have no problem showing their true selves to the world. The world is their stage and if you’re part of their show then you better be ready to perform as well. They have an uncanny ability to draw people out of their comfort zones and in doing so, push them to experience all of life’s pleasures.

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3.  They live emotionally

According to Dr. John M. Oldham, “dramatic men and women live in an emotional world.” Sometimes you don’t want to hear all the drama, but hey, at least they’re willing to talk about it. Is it better to bottle up all the emotions until they spill over into some passive aggressive argument? No! Dramatic people express fully what they’re feeling in the moment.

4.  They entertain, even if you haven’t asked them to

Bored? Sad? Tired? Just give them a call and they’ll change your mood.  Research from The New Personality Self-Portrait shows that dramatic people love to be the center of attention. They’ll probably start singing for no good reason, ready to break up your mundane day. The best of the drama queens always have a tune running through their head. Why not share the joy? Everyone needs a little singing in his or her life. You can always count on them for entertainment.

5.   They are “fierce!”

In fact, it’s probably their favorite word! All day long they walk around and shout “fierce” whenever they’re “nailing it.” And they “nail it” everyday because they’ve gotta stay “fierce.” It’s a sick sweet cycle. Who doesn’t want to be “fierce?” Don’t apologize for your brilliance, the world needs more dramatic people like you to step into greatness. Note to self: just don’t get all cocky about it. Fierce humility is sexy!

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6.  They support your vision

Research shows that dramatic people “eagerly respond to new ideas,” according to The New Personality Self-Portrait. If you want some pumping up about your next big project, tell a dramatic person about it. Even better, if you want some help, tell a dramatic person about it. You’ll be hard pressed to find a dramatic person whose spirit is not willing to say “yes.” Speak passionately about your idea and you’ll have another soul warrior on your team. They will go the extra mile for you, they will put in the hard work, and they will impress! They will also be extremely resentful later on if you make them do too much. Speaking from experience here! Use them wisely; they are wiser than they look.

7.  They will charm your socks off, even if you’re wearing sandals

Want to feel amazing about yourself? Hang around a dramatic person. They’ll either compliment you up and down about your stylish new summer haircut, or want to know where you got your new clothes. First time meeting? A little shy? No worries, they always know what to say to make you smile. They’ll lift your spirits so high that you might come right out of your socks.

8.  They want your attention

Some people think this is annoying. But what’s the alternative? Cold, innaffectionate, and stand-offish? Nah, I’d rather have someone who’s always overly excited to see me. I know sometimes they want too much from you, but that’s just because they love you! Anything wrong with that? They promise not to drool!

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9.  They won’t ignore you

Isn’t it always nice to know they’re thinking about you? Admit it, you like the attention! A dramatic person will be the last person to ignore you because they can’t stand being ignored. They would rather talk to themselves then awkwardly sit in silence with you. Feeling lonely? Just go find someone talking to themselves, likely they’re a bit dramatic and would love to talk. And lastly…

10.  They are imagining the next big idea

Dramatic people tend to have “rich imaginations” according to Louis B. Morris and John M. Oldham. Imaginative ideas fly out of them almost as fast as they talk. Not only that, but they are readily willing to share their next blockbuster with anyone they come in contact with. Dramatic people have an infectious ability to inspire change in the world! Will you go along for the ride?

Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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