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12 Struggles Only Tidy People Would Understand

12 Struggles Only Tidy People Would Understand

When my uncle visited the UK in the 1930s, he threw away an empty cigarette packet. A lady, who was passing, picked it up and said “Is this yours?” My uncle replied “Yes, but I don’t want it.” The lady snootily replied “And nether do we” as she proffered the empty packet to my astounded uncle. He always claimed that this lesson on tidiness was never forgotten. I am not so sure but my uncle’s house was much tidier than ours. However, I suspect my aunt and my obsessively tidy cousin had a lot to do with that, somehow. If you are tidy like them, you will resonate with the struggles that tidy people can only understand.

1. You fear the apocalypse is near

You know when friends say that they cannot perform basic chores like doing the laundry and are not comfortable with washing machines, a shiver goes down your spine. This is when you think that the preppers are right and the end is really imminent.

2. You do not suffer from a disorder

By now, you are sick and tired of your loved ones and friends telling you that you are on the Obsessively Compulsive Disorder (OCD) spectrum. Depending on their mood, you are mildly affected or you are so deranged that you need treatment. But you only want everything nice and tidy. You fight down the resentment, dislike and even hatred.

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3. You know that nobody else can meet your standards

You look at the so-called tidy room or cleaned up kitchen. You immediately see crumbs on the floor and reach for the brush. You even start thinking about cleaning down the draining board and just doing a quick tidy up. You decide that silence is golden yet again and retreat defeated.

4. You have a phobia about open drawers and cupboards

Perhaps it is a bit obsessive but how can all those things be left like that? You close them immediately. Then you have to decide whether it is worth nagging your significant other for the 1,199th time. Those drawers and cupboards cannot survive when open so you feel quite justified as you slam them shut.

5. You wish empty containers would just disappear

You see the empty packets lying around abandoned in the fridge or cabinets. They are empty so they should not be there. You cannot understand what logic or reasoning people are using when they never put them in the garbage.

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6. You are tired of homeless objects

Clothes, books, dishes, and cutlery. Those lovely things once had a home. That home was comfortable and tidy! Now these objects are all like abandoned waifs and strays and you are the only one who cares about rehousing them.

7. You try so hard not to be judgemental

God knows how difficult it is! You resist for the millionth time using words like untidy, messy, dirty, sloppy when talking to your loved ones but you do not always succeed. You do wish that you could work together as a team but most of the other family members seem to be ready for an interstellar experience.

8. You could open a household cleaning store

Cleanliness is next to godliness so you have stocked up on every cleaning material imaginable. Of course you have to put up with all the jokes about opening a shop and so on. You just smile affably while you polish, tidy, dust, and wash even more.

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9. You hate being invited to lunch

It does not always happen. Some of your hosts are quite tidy. But when you are invited to lunch at a messy person’s house, the torture you endure goes off the scale. You avert your eyes from the mess but it is everywhere. You try looking at the ceiling but there are cobwebs there. There is nowhere safe so you keep your eyes on your host or on your lap. I still think about my friend who had to endure lunch, knowing that the host was putting the dirty dishes in the bidet!

10. You blame the Internet

All the mess addicts you know are probably spending far too much time hanging out online. You resist the evangelical approach to try and convert them and just shrug your shoulders. Social media is just a tool to use wisely or foolishly. Now, if they only used some of that Facebook time in cleaning and tidying up, everyone would be much happier.

11. You fantasize about a huge de-cluttering event

You dream about de-cluttering. This could be the event of the year. Imagine getting rid of all that junk, housing everything decently and buying lovely storage units in which to put everything. Discarding old books, papers and clothes is a joy. Dream on!

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12. You may be a little obsessive

You have to admit that life is not so black and white. But the philosophy which teaches that messiness is a problem and tidiness is the solution is still enormously appealing. Now, why can’t everyone be neat and tidy?

Featured photo credit: Topiary/xlibber via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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