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14 Ways Positive People Separate Themselves From Negative Energy

14 Ways Positive People Separate Themselves From Negative Energy

Negative energy can be found almost everywhere. There are people complaining about life constantly, practicing bad habits and bringing you down. The emotions they spread influence your thoughts and actions in a bad way so avoiding the sources of negative energy is obligatory if you want to be more successful.

Everyone can be easily affected by negative emotions and the only exceptions are people who learned how to deal with it. These 14 Ways will show you how positive people handle negativity so you can apply it to your life.

1. They create happiness from within.

Happy people don’t base their happiness on external stimulations. They realize once the stimulant is gone, their mood would be ruined. Instead, they look for internal sources of positive energy and practice mindfulness.

2. They practice positive thinking.

Thoughts influence your actions, so, if you think negatively, there’s no bright future ahead of you. Positive people don’t believe in the excuses their minds come up with. Through positive affirmations and finding the good side of any problem, they make sure they are mentally set up for success.

3. They look for reasons to believe in themselves.

“Never let the negativity get to you. There are gonna be a lot of people you have to plow through, but as long you believe in yourself, that’s all that matters.” – Becky G.

There are endless reasons to believe in yourself even if you feel completely helpless and worthless. These negative thoughts are temporary obstacles and most of the time, they are made-up.

4. They cut off negative people.

Your surroundings have a tremendous impact on yourself. If you spend time with positive people, you are more likely to be happy and content. On the other hand, if you are too close to naysayers and complainers, you will have a hard time removing the negativity from your life.

Use these 9 tips to deal with negative people.

5. They train regularly.

Physical training is associated with releasing endorphins which are responsible for “feeling good.” Treating your body the right way pays off and results in reduced stress and boosted happiness. On the other hand, if you ignore your body’s needs, it will let you experience the negative consequences soon enough.

6. They spend time in the nature.

Being in the nature clears your mind and relaxes your body. Positive people dedicate a part of their day to get outside and admire the beauty of our planet. It’s a great way to load your batteries!

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7. They avoid impulsive spending.

Nowadays, extra deals and sales fight for your attention, so it’s easy to end up lost in the buying mode. Whereas excessive buying may make you feel better instantly, from a long-term perspective, it’s an unhealthy habit positive people avoid at all costs. They would rather invest in experiences to discover the world and create some great memories.

8. They accept failure.

Positive people embrace failure as they realize it’s the only way to learn and grow. Whenever they collapse, they work hard to get at the top again instead of giving up. Even though a failure brings negative emotions, they comprehend these are brief and will fade away quickly. To accelerate the process, they keep thinking positively.

9. They take full responsibility.

Positive people always give themselves the responsibility for what happens in their lives. Whether it’s a success or failure, it’s always an effect of their actions and thoughts. A positive person will never blame external factors and focus on things within the reach that could be improved.

By doing that, they pursue being better and experience constant progress instead of getting frustrated by things out of their control.

10. They learn to control their thoughts.

A mind can be easily brought out of control by sudden negative thoughts. Positive individuals know if they don’t control their thoughts, they will lose control over their actions and behaviors. For this reason, they practice mind control, for example through meditation.

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11. They devote some time to relax.

Instead of trying to be perfect, positive people realize sometimes you need to slow down, make your goals and ambitions secondary and simply loosen up. By doing this, they avoid burning out which would cause unnecessary negative energy.

In a nutshell, they take a step back to move further the next day.

12. They believe there’s always a solution.

Sometimes, life hits you hopelessly hard. At these moments, you tend to doubt your abilities to solve the current problem. The fact is, there’s always a way to overcome an obstacle and positive people keep that in mind. Even if they reach rock bottom, they believe it happens so they can get to the top even stronger.

13. They know when to say no.

The value of saying ‘no’ and ‘yes’ at the right moment is priceless. Opposed to misconceptions, these two words have an immense power and how you use them dictates what happens in your life.

Positive people focus on their priorities instead pleasing others. That’s why they know there are many things you don’t need to say yes to.

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14. They don’t look for anyone’s approval.

If you let others’ opinions paralyze you, you will have a hard time feeling good and happy. Many people are afraid of not getting validation and being criticized. Positive individuals think and act quite the opposite.

They use disapproval as an indicator of being authentic and true. The fact is, there are countless things you don’t need anyone’s approval for though you think you do.

Featured photo credit: web4camguy via flickr.com

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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