“I used to take my short stories to girls’ homes and read them to them. Can you imagine the reaction reading a short story to a girl instead of pawing her?”
This quote perfectly explains me.
The first time I dated a girl who was a profound reader, something happened, and it was beautiful. I realized there were girls who finally understood me and I understood them.
As someone who reads an average of seventy books a year, it was crucial for me to find someone who loved books just as much. I came to the point in my life where if I didn’t have a girl who validated my reading habits, all my friends would think I’m crazy.
They couldn’t comprehend that I would skip parties to spend countless nights with a glass of wine and a great book. The good news: I eventually found and won girls over who loved to read just as much me. Moreover, my friends became jealous and began reading more.Advertising
If you’re thinking about dating a girl who reads, understand they’re not even close to the ordinary girls you flirt with.
So you know what you’re in for, these are 19 things only people dating a girl who reads would know:
1. She rather read than watch a movie
When you’re reading, you invent the story through imagination, creativity, and emotion. A book gives girls an exciting channel to slip into a realm of breathtaking thoughts that are not even comparable to watching a movie.
2. She’s probably a writer
She’s developed an appreciation for the way words form together to present a fantastic story. So, she’s decided to take this admiration a step further and start writing.
3. She’s a great editor
If you’re writing a paper or preparing a script for a presentation, she’ll look it over eagerly. Nothing gives her more pleasure than correcting her boyfriend’s grammar mistakes and making sure he uses her edited version.
4. She texts in lengthy paragraphs
She will send you lengthy, well-edited texts that make you feel like you’re reading a short book. She’ll also notice every single grammar mistake in your texts and won’t forget them easily.Advertising
5. She expects to live out her life like her favorite stories
If she reads adventurous stories, then she’ll likely love to travel and do spontaneous things. However, if she enjoys reading books like 50 Shades of Grey, then you’re in for a crazy experience – trust me.
6. She’s empathetic
Reading books has given her numerous perspectives on life. Correspondingly, she can relate to people of various backgrounds. And if you’re ever struggling, she’ll always know the right words to say.
7. She’s incredibly smart
Each book she reads gives her some facts she can count on to bring up when you’re conversing a relevant subject. Be careful not to belittle anything she says, she’ll make you pay by proving she knows exactly what she’s saying.
8. You can’t control her schedule
If she finds herself in the middle of an incredible chapter, don’t expect to expect her to stop reading to eat dinner with you. Moreover, don’t even expect her to answer your texts or phone calls.
9. She makes for an excellent travel partner
Traveling with someone who doesn’t know how to keep busy is a nightmare since there can be numerous periods of idleness from plane rides to extended hotel stays. A girl who reads will always open a book if she finds time on her hands.
10. She has high standards
She expects her life to be book worthy and to fall in love with someone of equal or greater intelligence. If you can’t provide both, you’re not going to last.Advertising
11. Knowing her Amazon WishList is the secret to her heart
In our world of easy shipping and E-Commerce, most book lovers rather make their purchases off Amazon than go to a bookstore. If you can sneak onto her Amazon WishList to see the books she’s interested in ordering, you can pay a little extra for shipping and surprise her the following day.
12. She’s extremely creative
A girl who lets her imagination run wild with an author’s guidance is someone who’s incredibly creative from design to suggesting adventures.
13. She doesn’t expect you to be perfect
No story has perfect characters. They all have flaws and have to overcome them to achieve their goals. Consequently, she doesn’t expect you to be perfect, but she does assume you’ll achieve your dreams, too.
14. She gets bored quickly
Whenever she’s working on a task, she’ll wonder whether it’s better than reading. If it’s not, she’ll be bored. Make sure your entertainment skills are well above par.
15. She wants to change the world
A common theme among stories is the hero must overcome an obstacle to change the world. If she reads enough of these stories, she’ll believe she can, and maybe she will. I suggest encouraging her ambitions because only people who think they can change the world actually do.
16. She’s highly independent
Countless stories revolve around an independent protagonist who achieves greatness or survives a situation against all odds. If she reads these stories, then she’s likely to live life with a paralleling independence.Advertising
17. She gets upset when people don’t know her favorite book
Some readers have one book they hold far and above others. They think everyone should have read it, and if you haven’t, then you’re considered to have not been enlightened. If you can read this book before your first date with her, you’re guaranteed a second.
18. She’s probably a wine drinker
Girls love drinking wine while reading. You won’t understand why until you become a high-level reader, too.
19. She wouldn’t be dating you if you didn’t read
However, for those who she is dating and don’t read, I would start now before it’s too late because her books are starting to put you second.
And remember, girls who read, make the greatest friends and the best girlfriends.
Last Updated on May 21, 2019
How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship
For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.
If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:
You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.
You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.
In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.
You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.
People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.
You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.
You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.
The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.
You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.
Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.
If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.
Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:
- Understand your own communication style
- Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
- Communicate with precision and care
- Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger
1. Understand Your Communication Style
To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.
In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.
Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.
2. Learn Others Communication Styles
Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.
If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:
“How do you prefer to receive information?”
This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.
To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.
3. Exercise Precision and Care
A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.
On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.
Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.
I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.
I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.
In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.
The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.
Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.
4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger
Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.
In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,
“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”
Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.
Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.
It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.
It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.
It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.
Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.
Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.
The Bottom Line
When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.
I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.
More Articles About Effective Communication
- Conflict Management Styles for Effective Communication at Work
- 13 Best Communication Books for Stronger Social Skills & Relationships
- How to Master Effective Communication Skills at Work and Home
- 7 Most Important Communication Techniques to Master in the Workplace
Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com
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