“I used to take my short stories to girls’ homes and read them to them. Can you imagine the reaction reading a short story to a girl instead of pawing her?”
This quote perfectly explains me.
The first time I dated a girl who was a profound reader, something happened, and it was beautiful. I realized there were girls who finally understood me and I understood them.
As someone who reads an average of seventy books a year, it was crucial for me to find someone who loved books just as much. I came to the point in my life where if I didn’t have a girl who validated my reading habits, all my friends would think I’m crazy.
They couldn’t comprehend that I would skip parties to spend countless nights with a glass of wine and a great book. The good news: I eventually found and won girls over who loved to read just as much me. Moreover, my friends became jealous and began reading more.Advertising
If you’re thinking about dating a girl who reads, understand they’re not even close to the ordinary girls you flirt with.
So you know what you’re in for, these are 19 things only people dating a girl who reads would know:
1. She rather read than watch a movie
When you’re reading, you invent the story through imagination, creativity, and emotion. A book gives girls an exciting channel to slip into a realm of breathtaking thoughts that are not even comparable to watching a movie.
2. She’s probably a writer
She’s developed an appreciation for the way words form together to present a fantastic story. So, she’s decided to take this admiration a step further and start writing.
3. She’s a great editor
If you’re writing a paper or preparing a script for a presentation, she’ll look it over eagerly. Nothing gives her more pleasure than correcting her boyfriend’s grammar mistakes and making sure he uses her edited version.
4. She texts in lengthy paragraphs
She will send you lengthy, well-edited texts that make you feel like you’re reading a short book. She’ll also notice every single grammar mistake in your texts and won’t forget them easily.Advertising
5. She expects to live out her life like her favorite stories
If she reads adventurous stories, then she’ll likely love to travel and do spontaneous things. However, if she enjoys reading books like 50 Shades of Grey, then you’re in for a crazy experience – trust me.
6. She’s empathetic
Reading books has given her numerous perspectives on life. Correspondingly, she can relate to people of various backgrounds. And if you’re ever struggling, she’ll always know the right words to say.
7. She’s incredibly smart
Each book she reads gives her some facts she can count on to bring up when you’re conversing a relevant subject. Be careful not to belittle anything she says, she’ll make you pay by proving she knows exactly what she’s saying.
8. You can’t control her schedule
If she finds herself in the middle of an incredible chapter, don’t expect to expect her to stop reading to eat dinner with you. Moreover, don’t even expect her to answer your texts or phone calls.
9. She makes for an excellent travel partner
Traveling with someone who doesn’t know how to keep busy is a nightmare since there can be numerous periods of idleness from plane rides to extended hotel stays. A girl who reads will always open a book if she finds time on her hands.
10. She has high standards
She expects her life to be book worthy and to fall in love with someone of equal or greater intelligence. If you can’t provide both, you’re not going to last.Advertising
11. Knowing her Amazon WishList is the secret to her heart
In our world of easy shipping and E-Commerce, most book lovers rather make their purchases off Amazon than go to a bookstore. If you can sneak onto her Amazon WishList to see the books she’s interested in ordering, you can pay a little extra for shipping and surprise her the following day.
12. She’s extremely creative
A girl who lets her imagination run wild with an author’s guidance is someone who’s incredibly creative from design to suggesting adventures.
13. She doesn’t expect you to be perfect
No story has perfect characters. They all have flaws and have to overcome them to achieve their goals. Consequently, she doesn’t expect you to be perfect, but she does assume you’ll achieve your dreams, too.
14. She gets bored quickly
Whenever she’s working on a task, she’ll wonder whether it’s better than reading. If it’s not, she’ll be bored. Make sure your entertainment skills are well above par.
15. She wants to change the world
A common theme among stories is the hero must overcome an obstacle to change the world. If she reads enough of these stories, she’ll believe she can, and maybe she will. I suggest encouraging her ambitions because only people who think they can change the world actually do.
16. She’s highly independent
Countless stories revolve around an independent protagonist who achieves greatness or survives a situation against all odds. If she reads these stories, then she’s likely to live life with a paralleling independence.Advertising
17. She gets upset when people don’t know her favorite book
Some readers have one book they hold far and above others. They think everyone should have read it, and if you haven’t, then you’re considered to have not been enlightened. If you can read this book before your first date with her, you’re guaranteed a second.
18. She’s probably a wine drinker
Girls love drinking wine while reading. You won’t understand why until you become a high-level reader, too.
19. She wouldn’t be dating you if you didn’t read
However, for those who she is dating and don’t read, I would start now before it’s too late because her books are starting to put you second.
And remember, girls who read, make the greatest friends and the best girlfriends.
Last Updated on January 15, 2021
7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language
The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.
Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.
First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.
- Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
- When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
- Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
- When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?
All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.
Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?
- Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
- Frowning and/or furrowing brows
- Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground
If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.
1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions
A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.
The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.
This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards
2. Relax Your Face
New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.
The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.)
To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension. You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.
3. Improve Your Eye Contact
Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics? It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.
The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.
To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).
3. Smile More
There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.
Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.
4. Hand Gestures
Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.
It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.
5. Enhance Your Handshake
In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:
“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”
It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.
6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures
As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.
Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.
Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.
Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.
If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.
More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language
- Increasing Confidence with Body Language
- 8 Fatal Body Language Mistakes To Avoid During Presentations
- Be Instantly Irresistible With These 10 Body Language Tips
Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com
|||^||Berkeley News: The 16 facial expressions most common to emotional situations worldwide|
|||^||Science Daily: Teeth grinding and facial pain increase due to coronavirus stress and anxiety|
|||^||National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research: TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint & Muscle Disorders|
|||^||Michigan Medicine: Stress Management: Doing Progressive Muscle Relaxation|
|||^||Spectra Magazine: Oculesics: Science Speaks Where Words Do Not|
|||^||NCBI: Attention to Eye Contact in the West and East: Autonomic Responses and Evaluative Ratings|
|||^||ResearchGate: An Anthropology of the Handshake|
|||^||Sage Journals: Mapping the Range of Information Contained in the Iconic Hand Gestures that Accompany Spontaneous Speech|
|||^||Journal of Experimental Psychology: Hand Matters: Left-Hand Gestures Enhance Metaphor Explanation|