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10 Reasons Why People Who Stop Seeking Approval Are Happier Souls

10 Reasons Why People Who Stop Seeking Approval Are Happier Souls

Basically, from the time of our birth we are constantly sent the message that what others think of us matters. It isn’t long before we realize how we behave, how we look, what we say, and the choices we make can draw the approval or disapproval of others. In society, certain behaviors are obviously needed in order to show respect and consideration for others. However, the problem occurs when we require others to approve of us in order to validate how we feel about ourselves.

According to research reported in Time magazine, the part of the brain associated with reward is activated when we receive approval, more so in some people than others. Therefore, receiving approval can make us feel better, at least temporarily. However, a constant obsession with seeking it certainly does not. Some people have learned to stop seeking approval and found that this brings its own rewards.

1. They know that it isn’t someone else’s responsibility to make them happy

By constantly seeking approval from others, you are effectively handing over the responsibility for controlling your happiness to them. It’s not their job. Take it back.

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2. They love the freedom they feel when they stop worrying

Getting rid of that need for approval is very freeing. You no longer have those imaginary boundaries around you dictating how you should live your life.

3. They’ve discovered that trying to seek approval from others takes time and energy

Thinking about what everyone else’s opinion might be of you, and working out how you might best receive favorable responses from them is draining. Consider how much more time and energy you would have if you only worried about pleasing yourself.

4. They refuse to keep setting themselves up for disappointment

Aiming to get approval from others takes a certain amount of guesswork. You can’t know for sure what others will think, you can only speculate. This means you can often get it wrong and end up disappointed by their reaction.

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5. They understand that everyone will view them differently

When we talk about others, we are referring to a whole range of people with differing likes, dislikes, and opinions. Everything we do could be viewed in contrasting ways by different people. We can’t possibly please them all.

6. They know that everyone else is too busy seeking their own approval to notice

Seeking approval from others is widespread, so while you’re worrying about how you will be judged by people, those people are busy worrying about how they will be judged too and may not even notice your efforts.

7. They realize they deserve to focus on their own needs

Who are these other people that think they know how you should run your life better than you do? They don’t exist. Only you know what you really want and need. You deserve to receive your focus and attention in meeting those.

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8. Their anxiety decreases

According to the Social Anxiety Institute, around 7% of the US population are suffering from Social Anxiety at any one time. One of the key aspects of this is a fear of being judged negatively. If you find your anxiety about what others think of you feels out of control, there’s a chance you could be suffering from Social Anxiety and might need to seek help. However, even those of us without the condition can experience symptoms of anxiety if we’re continually worrying about how to gain the approval of others.

9. They grow in confidence

A big part of confidence is being comfortable with yourself. It’s pretty hard to feel comfortable with yourself if you let the opinions of others define you.

10. They’ve discovered that the less they worry about seeking approval the more likely they are to get it

It is somewhat ironic, but when you stop seeking approval, you are more likely to receive it. Being confident and comfortable with yourself is an attractive quality. By becoming self-assured, rather than self-obsessed, you will more likely gain the approval that you no longer crave.

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Featured photo credit: They just LOVED him/Paul L Dineen via flickr.com

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Last Updated on August 12, 2019

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

Mentally strong people have healthy habits. They manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that set them up for success in life.

Take a look at these 13 things that mentally strong people don’t do so that you too can become mentally stronger.

1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.

2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power

They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.

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3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change

Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.

4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control

You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude.

5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone

Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.

6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks

They don’t take reckless or foolish risks, but don’t mind taking calculated risks. Mentally strong people spend time weighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action.

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7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past

Mentally strong people don’t waste time dwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They acknowledge their past and can say what they’ve learned from it.

However, they don’t constantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days. Instead, they live for the present and plan for the future.

8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over

Mentally strong people accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.

9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success

Mentally strong people can appreciate and celebrate other people’s success in life. They don’t grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them. Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.

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10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure

Mentally strong people don’t view failure as a reason to give up. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.

11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time

Mentally strong people can tolerate being alone and they don’t fear silence. They aren’t afraid to be alone with their thoughts and they can use downtime to be productive.

They enjoy their own company and aren’t dependent on others for companionship and entertainment all the time but instead can be happy alone.

12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything

Mentally strong people don’t feel entitled to things in life. They weren’t born with a mentality that others would take care of them or that the world must give them something. Instead, they look for opportunities based on their own merits.

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13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results

Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground, mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results. Instead, they apply their skills and time to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.

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Featured photo credit: Candice Picard via unsplash.com

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