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8 Great Things About Face-to-Face Communication Most People Don’t Do Anymore Because of Technology

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8 Great Things About Face-to-Face Communication Most People Don’t Do Anymore Because of Technology

For those of you who are under 30, you might not even remember a time when people didn’t constantly check their phones for texts, Facebook/Instagram/Twitter profiles, when they’re in someone else’s physical presence. Even talking on the phone has become a lost art for many people these days.

While we’re all in favor of technological advances, sometimes you have to mourn the loss of real communication, the kind that makes you feel good. You know, the kind that doesn’t require an electronic object to deliver your message.

Here are eight great things about face-to-face communication that most people don’t just don’t seem to do anymore thanks to the ever growing technology of our time.

1. Looking into each other’s eyes.

And no, we’re not talking about looking at someone’s eyes in a selfie on Facebook or Instagram. We’re talking about having their eyes just inches or mere feet away from yours.

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When you look into someone’s eyes, it connects the two of you. Sometimes it’s almost like you’re looking deep into their souls. You just can’t get that when someone texts you a photo of themselves. It’s just not the same.

2. Touching someone’s hand.

Body language comprises 80-90% of the real meaning of a message. But using technology to talk doesn’t give you the opportunity to reach out and touch someone (and no, we’re not talking about “Ma Bell” … which most young people probably don’t even know about).

Giving a hug, playfully giving an elbow jab, or touching someone to say, “I care”, is just something that can’t be done over Facebook.

3. Having someone’s full attention.

Nothing says, “you don’t matter to me” as much as being with someone who constantly checks their texts or picks up the phone when they’re with you. Instead, it says, “hold on – this person is more important than you.”

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While it may have become the “new normal” to do that, it is still disrespectful. What ever happened to the Golden Rule? If you want someone to pay attention to you, then you need to do the same – and put your phone away!

4. Receiving support & understanding.

Imagine sending a good friend of yours a long email asking for advice about something. No matter the content, you can’t help but think, “This would be so much better if I was actually looking at him face-to-face so I could explain it better.”

But because you live far enough apart where it’s not possible to see each other that often, you resort to email. Even the phone would be better that an email response. Sure, you’ll still get that sage advice, but nothing beats the interaction with your live human friend.

5. Growing your mind with deep conversation.

Talking about celebrity gossip and the funny cat video you just saw on Facebook can be fun, but it doesn’t help you become a better person. Talking with someone face-to-face helps you get into some pretty deep conversations.

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You can learn about yourself, the other person, or something you never knew before. Have you ever tried to get into a deep conversation over text? Well, not everyone’s fingers work as fast as others’! You could cover a lot more ground and in half the time if you can jut have discussions face-to-face.

6. Flirting.

Okay, admit it. How many of you have received texts or emails from someone you’re romantically interested in and thought, “Oh my…what did he/she mean by that?” Then you’re texting you best friend saying, “Okay, he said this .. what did it mean? Does he like me or is he just being nice because he ended his sentence with a smiley face?”

It’s better to see his or her real smiley face in person though. Messages are so often misinterpreted when they aren’t spoken in someone’s physical presence.

7. Sharing your innermost thoughts and emotions.

It’s scary sometimes to pour your heart out. We risk rejection that way. And that’s probably why people “test the waters” with texting, emails, and social media messages. It’s easier to hide behind your phone or computer than it is to look into someone’s eyes and share your feelings.

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But it’s so much more rewarding to do that! Getting a text that says, “luv u” isn’t as satisfying as someone hugging you tight and whispering the words, “I love you” into your ear.

8. Having someone really “get” you.

The energy that is exchanged with people when they are face-to-face can really lift you up. Talking in person allows you to really dig deep and really get to know each other. And when people know you, they understand you. Even if you have differences, you still can “get” each other because you spent quality time with them…one-on-one…face-to-face.

Sure, today’s technology is exciting and important. But we can remember fondly the days of face-to-face interactions. Maybe you should try “traveling back in time” and re-creating what it was like to live when we all actually talked to each other! You might just like it.

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Carol Morgan

Dr. Carol Morgan is the owner of HerSideHisSide.com, a communication professor, dating & relationship coach, TV personality, speaker, and author.

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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