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5 Reasons You May Be Doing This Introvert Thing All Wrong

5 Reasons You May Be Doing This Introvert Thing All Wrong

So you’ve done all the quizzes, watched the talks, read the books and discovered you are in fact, an introvert. You are now well-versed, and well-positioned to begin your confident and happy life as an out and proud intro; no apologies or explanations, right? So why do you feel stuck? With all the information to hand, you’ve somehow fallen right back into the cycle of pre-self discovery and have unfortunately gone back to your closeted introvert ways. Things just aren’t falling into place, you’re more drained than ever, and no one seems to understand your needs.

Chances are, you’ve gone about this introvert thing all wrong, and you’re not alone. Many introverts have found that once the initial ‘hype’ calms down, what they’re left with is pretty much the same thing they had before they put a name to their introverted nature. But there’s still hope.

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Let’s look at a few reasons why you may be struggling, as we suggest ways to help you, and keep you introvert happy!

1. You don’t know what type of introvert you are.

Are you an extreme introvert who requires the maximum amount of solitude in order to function? Perhaps you’re a social introvert, who loves mixing it up with people, but requires the odd break in between to keep going? Or maybe you’re an Ambivert – that balance between extrovert and introvert. Either way, it’s important to find out, and focus on your own unique ‘-vert’ status. All the best introvert advice in the world will do nothing for you if you haven’t discovered where you sit on the spectrum. It just won’t fit. Discovering just how much recharging time you may actually need will begin to set you on a more peaceful, stress-free and less confusing path in understanding. Allowing you to really begin to appreciate your introverted nature.

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2. You’re still having trouble saying, “No.”

You’re still hanging out at parties way past the time you actually want to leave, still afraid you’ll look anti-social. You’re attending your third get-together this weekend because you felt pressured to do so, but you’d rather be at home, enjoying some much needed down time. Unfortunately, it’s likely you still haven’t let go of your introvert insecurities. Those insecurities that once followed you around pre-knowledge, forcing you to conform to the social ‘norms’. And saying “no” is still a problem. The difference is however, you can no longer feign ignorance of your introvert needs, as you resentfully go against all you now know, and continue to allow those earlier insecurities to dictate. The good news is, you now have the tools and information at hand to help you put a stop to the madness. So “no” more excuses!

3. You’re not carving out time to recharge.

This is a tough one for most introverts. You’ve probably spent most of your life trying to do the opposite, as to not appear rude, or weird. It’s a challenge at first, to begin requesting and actually carving out some alone time for yourself, but it is essential, and is at the heart of being an introvert; you need time-outs, to recharge and recoup so you can get right back in there and start swinging! You have to get serious about how and when you recharge – it’s totally down to you. You have to take charge on this one. There’s nothing cute about a frazzled, burnt-out introvert just trying to hold it all together.

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4. You’re focusing on the wrong things.

You’ve probably been taught most of your life to party or chat your worries away. And though this may seem like great advice, it simply doesn’t work that way for most introverts. Sure, it’ll be fun, and you won’t be thinking about your problems when you’re laughing it up with your buddies, but unlike an extrovert, introverts need that time to get away and think things through. Not least because the constant fun doesn’t mean the brain switches off. Oh no. In fact, the introvert brain is usually just as busy as the body during these rather social moments, which can be extremely exhausting when you’re trying to forget about it all, even for a few hours. This can lead to total burn out.

The solution: focus inward. What you need may not be out there, but within. Your rich inner life is a thing of wonder; tap into it. By giving yourself time to maul things over first, you’ll have a clearer head, leaving you free to have fun, and get on with life.

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5. You have people in your life who still don’t understand.

Unfortunately, such is the life of most introverts that not many people close to you will understand your new found need for alone or recharge time. They’ve known you to be the life and soul of the party, or the chatty one in the group, or someone who doesn’t mind them dropping in unannounced (gasp!). Truth is, you did all those things, partly, as a way to accommodate, while negating your own need to recharge. Now, your requests for alone time appear harsh, and friends and family feel personally slighted whenever you turn down an invite. Full disclosure is your best option here. No one likes to be left in the dark, or made to feel like they’re being left behind, so speak up.

By letting those close to you know what you need, they will in turn begin to understand, and will hopefully begin to cut you some slack. Not only will this make you feel more comfortable in your own understanding of your introvert needs, it will also help you let go of those annoying insecurities, and set you free to love being you.

That’s a happy and confident introvert all round!

Featured photo credit: Enjoying View in Adrspach Mountains/Viktor Hanacek via picjumbo.com

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Patricia C. Osei-Oppong

Writer, Poet, Marketer

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Last Updated on March 13, 2019

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

Have you gotten into a rut before? Or are you in a rut right now?

You know you’re in a rut when you run out of ideas and inspiration. I personally see a rut as a productivity vacuum. It might very well be a reason why you aren’t getting results. Even as you spend more time on your work, you can’t seem to get anything constructive done. While I’m normally productive, I get into occasional ruts (especially when I’ve been working back-to-back without rest). During those times, I can spend an entire day in front of the computer and get nothing done. It can be quite frustrating.

Over time, I have tried and found several methods that are helpful to pull me out of a rut. If you experience ruts too, whether as a working professional, a writer, a blogger, a student or other work, you will find these useful. Here are 12 of my personal tips to get out of ruts:

1. Work on the small tasks.

When you are in a rut, tackle it by starting small. Clear away your smaller tasks which have been piling up. Reply to your emails, organize your documents, declutter your work space, and reply to private messages.

Whenever I finish doing that, I generate a positive momentum which I bring forward to my work.

2. Take a break from your work desk.

Get yourself away from your desk and go take a walk. Go to the washroom, walk around the office, go out and get a snack.

Your mind is too bogged down and needs some airing. Sometimes I get new ideas right after I walk away from my computer.

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3. Upgrade yourself

Take the down time to upgrade yourself. Go to a seminar. Read up on new materials (#7). Pick up a new language. Or any of the 42 ways here to improve yourself.

The modern computer uses different typefaces because Steve Jobs dropped in on a calligraphy class back in college. How’s that for inspiration?

4. Talk to a friend.

Talk to someone and get your mind off work for a while.

Talk about anything, from casual chatting to a deep conversation about something you really care about. You will be surprised at how the short encounter can be rejuvenating in its own way.

5. Forget about trying to be perfect.

If you are in a rut, the last thing you want to do is step on your own toes with perfectionist tendencies.

Just start small. Do what you can, at your own pace. Let yourself make mistakes.

Soon, a little trickle of inspiration will come. And then it’ll build up with more trickles. Before you know it, you have a whole stream of ideas.

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6. Paint a vision to work towards.

If you are continuously getting in a rut with your work, maybe there’s no vision inspiring you to move forward.

Think about why you are doing this, and what you are doing it for. What is the end vision in mind?

Make it as vivid as possible. Make sure it’s a vision that inspires you and use that to trigger you to action.

7. Read a book (or blog).

The things we read are like food to our brain. If you are out of ideas, it’s time to feed your brain with great materials.

Here’s a list of 40 books you can start off with. Stock your browser with only the feeds of high quality blogs, such as Lifehack.org, DumbLittleMan, Seth Godin’s Blog, Tim Ferris’ Blog, Zen Habits or The Personal Excellence Blog.

Check out the best selling books; those are generally packed with great wisdom.

8. Have a quick nap.

If you are at home, take a quick nap for about 20-30 minutes. This clears up your mind and gives you a quick boost. Nothing quite like starting off on a fresh start after catching up on sleep.

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9. Remember why you are doing this.

Sometimes we lose sight of why we do what we do, and after a while we become jaded. A quick refresher on why you even started on this project will help.

What were you thinking when you thought of doing this? Retrace your thoughts back to that moment. Recall why you are doing this. Then reconnect with your muse.

10. Find some competition.

Nothing quite like healthy competition to spur us forward. If you are out of ideas, then check up on what people are doing in your space.

Colleagues at work, competitors in the industry, competitors’ products and websites, networking conventions.. you get the drill.

11. Go exercise.

Since you are not making headway at work, might as well spend the time shaping yourself up.

Sometimes we work so much that we neglect our health and fitness. Go jog, swim, cycle, whichever exercise you prefer.

As you improve your physical health, your mental health will improve, too. The different facets of ourselves are all interlinked.

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Here’re 15 Tips to Restart the Exercise Habit (and How to Keep It).

12. Take a good break.

Ruts are usually signs that you have been working too long and too hard. It’s time to get a break.

Beyond the quick tips above, arrange for a 1-day or 2-days of break from your work. Don’t check your (work) emails or do anything work-related. Relax and do your favorite activities. You will return to your work recharged and ready to start.

Contrary to popular belief, the world will not end from taking a break from your work. In fact, you will be much more ready to make an impact after proper rest. My best ideas and inspiration always hit me whenever I’m away from my work.

Take a look at this to learn the importance of rest: The Importance of Scheduling Downtime

More Resources About Getting out of a Rut

Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via unsplash.com

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