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20 Ways To Help You See Your Best Friend In A Whole New Light

20 Ways To Help You See Your Best Friend In A Whole New Light

We’ve all got that bestie for the restie. You know each other’s sleeping patterns (because you’re messaging each other every waking hour), you know each other’s allergies, and you’re the only person who knows the full story about the broken curtain on the gym shower (and the resulting indecent exposure).

But what don’t you know? What secret traits and unseen sides lie hidden beneath that persona that you know so well? Here are 20 things that will help you find out – there may be even more reasons than you realize to love your best friend.

1. Visit your best friend at work

You’re used to seeing them in leggings or sweats, with cookie crumbs on their face. But what about in a tie and white button-down, laying down the law and being all serious and powerful? It might just take you aback.

20 ways to see your best friend in a whole new light, Lifehack

    2. Live together for an extended period of time

    Leave dirty dishes around the house, use the last of the shampoo, draw a territorial line on the carpet – living together will push you two to your breaking points. You’ll see those snappy red-mist moments in each other like never before. And your friendship will be the stronger for it.

    20 ways to see your best friend in a whole new light, Lifehack

      3. Visit a place neither of you have ever been

      Time to whack out the rucksacks, the cameras, and the sunglasses and discover a new part of the world together. Expand your horizons as one and discover a new way to hang out. And of course, no trip is complete without an obnoxious picture posted on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.

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      20 ways to see your best friend in a whole new light, Lifehack

        4. Try the Insanity workout program together

        This task comes with some fine print: You have to vow to stay by each other’s side (it may be the most difficult mission of your life). Because suffering together always brings people closer.

        20 ways to see your best friend in a whole new light, Lifehack

          5. Share tapas in a public place

          When you can negotiate meals and swap and share your dishes, you know you have found a true friend. Because most people are like Joey. And Joey doesn’t share food.

          20 ways to see your best friend in a whole new light. Lifehack

            6. Be the big spoon after a night on the town

            There’s nothing like a platonic cuddle to get you to sleep after a night of shots, tall drinks, shots, dancing, and shots. And it’s a plus to have your friend on hand for when your hair needs holding back in the toilet in the morning…

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              7. Attempt the impossible together

              Whether this means climbing a mountain, starting a business together, or simply finishing the whole rack of ribs in TGIF, you’ll find new strengths, new weaknesses, and new glue to keep you stuck.

              20 things that will cast your best friend in a whole new light, Lifehack

                8. Confront your worst fears as a team

                Whether your bestie drops hot tea all over their lap, or calmly finds a book heavy enough to squash the eight-eyed monster gatecrashing your evening, you’re sure to find out about the real them during times of such extreme stress.

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                20 things that will cast your best friend in a whole new light, Lifehack

                  9. Get lost on a road trip

                  Roof down, music up, wind in your hair – hell, this one’s just an excuse for a holiday! And getting lost is the best part, so go off-road and find new paths in each other.

                  20 things that will cast your best friend in a whole new light, Lifehack

                    10. Go clubbing together stone cold sober

                    Do you both still bust out those moves and drop it like it’s hot in the middle of the dance floor when you haven’t knocked back a single stiff one? Only one way to find out…

                    20 things that will cast your best friend in a whole new light, Lifehack

                      11. Double date

                      When you’re vetting the new lad or lady on the scene, why not vet each other while you’re at it? Does your bestie act differently on a date? Do they nibble their lettuce leaves instead of tucking into that pork pie?

                      20 things that will cast your best friend in a whole new light, Lifehack

                        12. Start a club together

                        Dancing, life drawing, archery – whatever floats your boat. How is your bestie with an arrow? How are they when they lose? Meet the sweaty, tackling, red-faced version of your best friend and learn a hell of a lot about their competitive streak.

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                        20 things that will cast your best friend in a whole new light, Lifehack

                          13. No texting for a week

                          Can you make it through? It might be worth it to see your friend in the real rather than the virtual. See how excited you are when you meet up and have ALL of the things to talk about!

                          20 things that will cast your best friend in a whole new light, Lifehack

                            14. Buy a pet together

                            Whether it’s a fish or a donkey, enjoy mothering something cute and fluffy and watch the parental urges come to the fore.

                            20 things that will cast your best friend in a whole new light, Lifehack

                              15. Spend a night in jail together

                              Inadvisable, but definitely perspective-changing.

                              20 things that will cast your best friend in a whole new light, Lifehack

                                16. Write a song together

                                Get those creative juices flowing and who knows where they could take you – record deals, overnight fame, or perhaps just to a better understanding of each others’ sensitive souls.

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                                20 things that will cast your best friend in a whole new light, Lifehack

                                  17. Write a book together

                                  You really want to know those deep, dark, weird spaces of your best friend’s mind? Brainstorm the perfect story and watch it wind out of control as you create your masterpiece together.

                                  20 things that will cast your best friend in a whole new light, Lifehack

                                    18. Have that raging argument that’s been building for weeks

                                    Let off some steam and let it all out in the open – you’ll both feel the better for it, and you’ll unleash some tensions while resolving some issues. And of course you’ll bounce right back.

                                    20 things that will cast your best friend in a whole new light, Lifehack

                                      19. Witness your best friend brush their teeth

                                      You’ll never look at them the same way again. It’s an intimate moment – all that frothing and spitting. And it’s a great look into the domestic life of your bestie.

                                      20 things that will cast your best friend in a whole new light, Lifehack

                                        20. Be there to watch them grow up and grow old

                                        You’re best friends. You’ve seen it all. You’ve been there for each other. So stay there. Right to the end.

                                        20 things that will cast your best friend in a whole new light, Lifehack

                                          Featured photo credit: Lauren Rushing via flickr.com

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                                          Trending in Communication

                                          1 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 2 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 3 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 4 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

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                                          Last Updated on May 21, 2019

                                          How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

                                          How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

                                          For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

                                          If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

                                          Example 1

                                          You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

                                          You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

                                          In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

                                          Example 2

                                          You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

                                          People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

                                          You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

                                          Example 3

                                          You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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                                          The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

                                          Example 4

                                          You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

                                          Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

                                          If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

                                          Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

                                          • Understand your own communication style
                                          • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
                                          • Communicate with precision and care
                                          • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

                                          1. Understand Your Communication Style

                                          To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

                                          In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

                                          Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

                                          2. Learn Others Communication Styles

                                          Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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                                          If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

                                          “How do you prefer to receive information?”

                                          This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

                                          To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

                                          3. Exercise Precision and Care

                                          A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

                                          On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

                                          Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

                                          I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

                                          I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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                                          In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

                                          The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

                                          Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

                                          4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

                                          Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

                                          In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

                                          “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

                                          Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

                                          Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

                                          It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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                                          It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

                                          It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

                                          Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

                                          Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

                                          The Bottom Line

                                          When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

                                          I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

                                          More Articles About Effective Communication

                                          Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

                                          Reference

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