Advertising
Advertising

5 Ways To Transform That ‘Rut’ You’re Stuck In Into The Best Thing That’s Ever Happened To You

5 Ways To Transform That ‘Rut’ You’re Stuck In Into The Best Thing That’s Ever Happened To You

We’ve all been there – dumped just before our exams, burgled just after buying that new Plasma, or given a bad haircut just in time for an all important first date. We’ve all had that delayed train before a job interview and gone to bed at 6pm, face down in the pillow, very ready to give up to that blissful world of the unconscious. But ladies, gents, folks  – there are five ways you can turn that concave rut upside down into the hill that’s going to raise you above the clouds.

1. The Bounce Back

Who says you have to sit back and take it? You get dumped, you jump straight back onto that Tinder bandwagon or that loco Happn train. You haven’t lost what you loved – you’ve dodged a bullet and opened yourself up to a whole world of possibilities. You don’t have to stay in and snuggle on Saturdays (grossss) you can go wild on the town, meet new people, make new memories. You can be Miss or Master Independent, the magician of your own destiny. Just look how strong you are.

Advertising

2. New Hobbies

So life’s lost a bit of colour lately? You need some new paint pots. How about a life drawing class? Or maybe a weekly pub quiz with your favourites? Whatever it is, a swing dance class every week, a bit of Dungeons and Dragons, maybe you want to join a sex circus – no judgement here, the worst thing you can do is shove it to the back of the pile. Throw yourself into it and embrace a whole new world of different.

Advertising

3. Make lists

Be careful with this one, because there is a thin line between a few post it notes and a 50 page Word Document (that way madness lies…) But if you’re struggling to see what you’re worth, a post it note every day can prove a whole host of talents you hadn’t even noticed in yourself. Tick off your achievements, whether it’s finally ordering that stupid hat your mate wants for her birthday, or applying for that position you really want, or taking the leap and asking bus babe for those all important digits – whatever the goal, take steps to get things done and you’ll be amazed at how much you can do.

Advertising

4. Find your friends

When you’ve fallen down a pit, sometimes the only way to really climb out is with a little help. We’ve all had those friends and those more than friends who have dropped us. So use this time to discover which hands reach in to pull you back out – the rut is not a fun place to be, but at least it can help you to discover some harsh truths. The ones who text you every day, who offer those important phone calls, who are planning things to get you excited about – these are the people you need in your life. When you’re low, always take a moment to remember these little jewels in your social calendars and your message inbox and you’ll suddenly remember that you’re not in a rut at all.

5. Travel

It can take a lot to push someone into travelling. It’s a scary business – all that hard work to save up for those outrageous flight costs, the strangers you will encounter, the signs and the ingredients lists in a language that you just don’t understand – it all takes guts and energy. Use your rut to launch yourself into something totally new. Don’t run away from your problems (you’ve booked a return flight, remember…) but why not see the world, get some fresh perspective and discover new things about yourself? There’s no need to let things weigh you down. Get angry, get determined, and use that adrenaline to face your fears and explore what life really has to offer.

Featured photo credit: Stockpic – Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

Advertising

More by this author

10 Tricks To Cheat Cold Weather 15 things that hit you when you leave South East Asia, Lifehack 15 things that hit you when you leave South East Asia Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid Of Solo Travel 22 signs that you're a massive hoarder, Lifehack 22 Signs You’re a Massive Hoarder 8 things to remember when you clean out your closet, Lifehack 8 Things to Remember When You Clear Out Your Closet

Trending in Communication

1 The Power of a Positive Environment on Your Everyday Life 2 9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive 3 How to Cope with Empty Nest Syndrome and Be Happy Again 4 How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life 5 How to Live Your Best Life Starting Today

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 13, 2020

9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive

9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive

It’s common to be struck with a bout of pessimism, or to naturally be more towards the pessimistic end of the perspective spectrum. It’s hard to see the positives in life and become an optimist when you’re lost in the murky waters of negative thinking.

However, Henrik Edberg, the founder of The Positivity Blog is here to share nine ways we can create a more optimistic outlook and positive perspective:

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” — Maria Robinson

When I was younger — in my teens and early 20s — I was trapped. Not physically, but mentally: by the destructive thought pattern called pessimism. This negative thinking poisoned what might have been a pretty good and opportunity-filled childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. This pessimism created ceilings and walls where there really were none.

Throughout the period when I was ridden by pessimism, my life and I mostly stood still. Looking back, it was a terrible waste. If you are in pessimistic place, you don’t have to stay there for the rest of your life. I didn’t, for I learned to replace my negative thinking with optimism.

In this article I’ll explore nine positivity habits that have helped me to go from someone who was pessimistic most of the time to someone who is now optimistic almost all the time. I recommend to not try to add all the habits at one go but to choose one habit and to practice it for 30 days so it becomes a habit, before adding the next.

1. Ask Yourself the Right Questions

This is the simplest but perhaps also the most important habit I have discovered in adopting an optimistic mindset. The questions we ask ourselves day in and day out when we wind up in negative, difficult or uncertain situations make all the difference in our life.

A pessimist might ask him/herself questions like:

  • “Why did this happen to me?”
  • “Why do bad things happen to me all the time?”

But an optimist asks him/herself the questions that open up the mind to new viewpoints and possibilities. A few of my favorite questions for finding the optimistic perspective are:

Advertising

  • “What is one good thing about this situation?”
  • “What can I learn from this situation?”
  • “What is one small step I can take today to start solving this situation?”

2. Create a Positive Environment to Live In

The people you spend your time with and the information you let influence your mind will have a huge effect on your attitude and how you think about things.

Watch this YouTube video and learn the power of a positive environment:

So choose to:

  • Spend more time with the people who lift you up. And less time – or no time – with people who just bring you down by being negative and critical. Read: You are the Average of the 5 People You Spend the Most Time With
  • Let in the information that supports you. Spend less time on negative and self-esteem damaging media sources and spend more time reading positive and constructive blogs and books, watching motivating movies, listening to inspirational songs, and listening to audio books and podcasts created by optimistic people. Check out 12 Inspirational Movies With Important Life Lessons To Learn and 25 Most Inspirational Songs of All Time.

3. Be Grateful for What You Have (Don’t Forget About Yourself Too)

A very simple and quick way to boost the positive energy in your life is to tap into gratitude.

I usually do it by asking one or more of these questions:

  1. What can I be grateful for in my life today?
  2. Who are 3 people that I can be grateful to have in my life and why?
  3. What are 3 things I can be grateful for about myself?

Just spend 60 seconds or a few minutes during your day with answering one of these questions to reap the wonderful benefits.

4. Don’t Forget About Your Physical Self

Being an optimist isn’t just about thinking in a different way. It is also about caring for the physical part of ourselves.

I have found that working out a couple of times a week, enough quality sleep each night and eating healthy food has a huge effect on my mindset.

If I mismanage those very basic things then negative thoughts pop up far more often and I become more pessimistic and shut down about the possibilities in my life.

Advertising

So don’t neglect these basic fundamentals. Just caring for your physical self the right way can minimize a whole bunch of problems in life.

5. Start Your Day in an Optimistic Way

The way you start your morning can set the tone for the rest of your day. For example, a stress-free morning often leads to less stress during the rest of the day.

So how can you set an optimistic tone for your day?

A three-step combination that has worked very well for me is to ask myself a gratitude question during breakfast, read some positive information online or in a book very early in the morning and then follow that up with exercising.

This sets my mind on the right path and fills me up with energy for my day.

6. Focus on Solutions

A sure way to feel more negative about a situation is to sit around and do nothing about it. Instead, use the questions I shared in step one and open up your mind to the possibilities of the situation you are in.

If you have trouble to get started with taking action, ask yourself:

What is one small step I can take today to get the ball rolling?

Then take that small step forward. However small this step is, it can have a big effect in your mood and thoughts. If the step feels too big or it just makes you procrastinate, then ask yourself:

Advertising

What is an even smaller step I can take to move forward today?

The most important thing is to move forward, even if it’s a tiny baby step.

7. Reduce Your Worries

The worrying habit is a powerful and destructive one and can take over anyone’s thinking. It used to be one of my biggest obstacles to optimism and to moving forward in life.

Two effective steps that have helped me and still help me to this day to minimize the worries are:

  1. Ask yourself: how many of my worries ever happened in reality? If you are like me you will find that the answer is: very few. Most of the things you fear throughout your life will never happen. They are just nightmares or monsters in your own mind. This question can help you to do a reality check, to calm down and to realize that you have most likely just been building another imaginary nightmare.
  2. Focus on solutions and the action you can take. The worries grow stronger in a foggy mind and an inactive body. So use the questions in Steps 1 and 6 to move out of your worries and into resolution.

8. Don’t Let Ideals Ruin Things

A common mistake people make when making a shift in their attitudes is that they think that they have be perfect and do things perfectly all the time. This traps them from being positive.

Changing to a positive attitude can be gradual. While you may slip and stumble, continuing this way over time will strengthen your positive viewpoint more and more.

But if you set an inhuman standard for yourself and think you have to go from being a pessimist to always being an optimist, then you may find it hard to live up to that. And so you may feel like a failure. You get angry with yourself. And you may even give up on changing this habit and fall back into negative thinking.

So instead, focus on gradual change. If you are optimistic 40% of the time right now, try to improve this to being optimistic 60% of the time. Then, increase that to 80% when you are used to the new standard, then subsequently 100% if you can.

This focus on gradual improvement is far more sustainable and likely to bring long-term success than trying to reach an inhuman standard grounded in perfection.

Advertising

9. Finally, a Reminder to Help You to Not Give Up

I would like to end this article with a simple but powerful and timeless thought that comforted and encouraged me to continue on when things looked bleak.

That thought is: It is always darkest before the dawn.

This thought has helped me to hold on and keep going when my social skills and dating life was just plain bad. It has helped me to continue on in my online business when things looked like they would never pick up. It has helped me to put one foot over another even when things looked dark.

I have found this thought to be very true. Why? Because when things seemed to be at the lowest for my blog, business, dating life or life in general, something positive would always happened. That’s probably because being at a low point forced me to change how I did things.

But maybe also because life has a way of evening itself out when I go on. By taking action rather than give up, something good will always happens.

Seeing this thought live itself out has strengthened my belief in staying optimistic, in taking action and to keep going even when going through rough patches.

Re-syndicated 9 Simple Habits to Stay Positive in Life | Personal Excellence

More on Staying Positive

Featured photo credit: Allie Smith via unsplash.com

Read Next