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5 Ways To Transform That ‘Rut’ You’re Stuck In Into The Best Thing That’s Ever Happened To You

5 Ways To Transform That ‘Rut’ You’re Stuck In Into The Best Thing That’s Ever Happened To You

We’ve all been there – dumped just before our exams, burgled just after buying that new Plasma, or given a bad haircut just in time for an all important first date. We’ve all had that delayed train before a job interview and gone to bed at 6pm, face down in the pillow, very ready to give up to that blissful world of the unconscious. But ladies, gents, folks  – there are five ways you can turn that concave rut upside down into the hill that’s going to raise you above the clouds.

1. The Bounce Back

Who says you have to sit back and take it? You get dumped, you jump straight back onto that Tinder bandwagon or that loco Happn train. You haven’t lost what you loved – you’ve dodged a bullet and opened yourself up to a whole world of possibilities. You don’t have to stay in and snuggle on Saturdays (grossss) you can go wild on the town, meet new people, make new memories. You can be Miss or Master Independent, the magician of your own destiny. Just look how strong you are.

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2. New Hobbies

So life’s lost a bit of colour lately? You need some new paint pots. How about a life drawing class? Or maybe a weekly pub quiz with your favourites? Whatever it is, a swing dance class every week, a bit of Dungeons and Dragons, maybe you want to join a sex circus – no judgement here, the worst thing you can do is shove it to the back of the pile. Throw yourself into it and embrace a whole new world of different.

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3. Make lists

Be careful with this one, because there is a thin line between a few post it notes and a 50 page Word Document (that way madness lies…) But if you’re struggling to see what you’re worth, a post it note every day can prove a whole host of talents you hadn’t even noticed in yourself. Tick off your achievements, whether it’s finally ordering that stupid hat your mate wants for her birthday, or applying for that position you really want, or taking the leap and asking bus babe for those all important digits – whatever the goal, take steps to get things done and you’ll be amazed at how much you can do.

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4. Find your friends

When you’ve fallen down a pit, sometimes the only way to really climb out is with a little help. We’ve all had those friends and those more than friends who have dropped us. So use this time to discover which hands reach in to pull you back out – the rut is not a fun place to be, but at least it can help you to discover some harsh truths. The ones who text you every day, who offer those important phone calls, who are planning things to get you excited about – these are the people you need in your life. When you’re low, always take a moment to remember these little jewels in your social calendars and your message inbox and you’ll suddenly remember that you’re not in a rut at all.

5. Travel

It can take a lot to push someone into travelling. It’s a scary business – all that hard work to save up for those outrageous flight costs, the strangers you will encounter, the signs and the ingredients lists in a language that you just don’t understand – it all takes guts and energy. Use your rut to launch yourself into something totally new. Don’t run away from your problems (you’ve booked a return flight, remember…) but why not see the world, get some fresh perspective and discover new things about yourself? There’s no need to let things weigh you down. Get angry, get determined, and use that adrenaline to face your fears and explore what life really has to offer.

Featured photo credit: Stockpic – Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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