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Networking Tips For People Who Hate Networking

Networking Tips For People Who Hate Networking

Networking—not that again! Networking events are filled with desperate career climbers smarming up to smug high-flyers, eating pretentious canapés and agreeing like sycophantic, nodding dogs to any meaningless “advice”. OK, that might be a slight exaggeration, but it’s still a pointless exercise. Nobody really gets anything out of it, do they?

Actually, networking has grown up a lot in recent years. Online networking is gaining momentum, with sites like LinkedIn becoming increasingly important in a networking strategy. If you shudder at the thought of face-to-face networking, it might be time you looked at it from a different perspective.

The reason so many of us detest networking—and claim to be terrible at it—is because we’ve been doing it all wrong. It shouldn’t be about projecting a false and superficial image of yourself, telling everyone how fantastic you are or sucking up to people. It is about building valuable, lasting and mutually beneficial contacts, one by one. Here are some great tips to take on board if you want to become a networking whiz without selling yourself out.

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1. Adapt networking to suit you.

Ignore any networking advice that demands you must behave in a certain way. Forcing yourself to act in a way that isn’t natural to you won’t help anyone in the long term; you will still hate networking and everyone you connect with will get a warped idea of who you are. Also, ignore anyone who says that the big events are the best way to make connections. If you hate networking as it is, change it. Don’t like big crowds? Arrange one-to-one meetings. Not a talkative person? Listen instead.

2. Less is more.

Attending every event, meeting and talk won’t necessarily result in more contacts. You will be much more productive if you are selective about which events to attend. That way you can be more focused in what you want to get out of each meeting, rather than forcing yourself to attend event after event and becoming drained and uninspired.

3. Plan your first impression.

You only get one chance to make a first impression, so make it count. I’m not saying you need to plaster a false grin on your face and practice your handshake (although that is important), but think in more detail about conversation starters or other ways to initiate an interesting conversation. If you know specific individuals are going to be there who you want to get to know, find out a bit about them before you meet so that you will have something to talk about.

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4. Help out.

Many people dislike networking events because circulating with a group of strangers can be intimidating. Instead of standing awkwardly by the buffet, offer to help out. This will give you something to talk about and will also give people the impression that you’re helpful and selfless.

5. Get in line.

This is a clever tactic, but one that is bound to work. If you’re going to a networking event alone and have nobody to talk to—join the queue! Any queue: for the bar, the buffet, the toilets, you name it! Queuing is a very British activity and makes a good ruse for striking up conversation with the person in front or behind you. You effectively have a captive audience, and making conversation will come more naturally. There is also a limited time period, so if you accidentally get in the queue next to a complete bore, you know it will be over soon.

6. Set networking goals.

Heading to an event with a goal in mind will make you all the more productive. Try to aim for one or two useful connections, or if there is a specific person you want to meet there, aim to get their attention. Once you’ve achieved your goal, you can politely excuse yourself instead of hanging around, forcing conversation or overstaying your welcome.

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7. Show don’t tell.

Don’t bore people with rehearsed stories of how great you are. Rather, demonstrate your greatness in real life. Be friendly, greet others with a smile and offer to help out at every opportunity.

8. Research.

You wouldn’t turn up to an interview without preparing, so don’t make the same mistake at networking events. Find out in advance who is going to be there and which organizations will be good for you to connect with. If you have an idea of the companies and individuals you are likely to encounter, you will be less intimidated by the situation.

9. Listen.

Nerves often make people gabble their way through awkward situations. Have you ever been aware that everybody is talking but nobody is listening? Be the listener. The chances are people will remember you more for your attentive interest whilst they were talking than for your shouting over them. People are flattered when you pay attention to what they are saying, so you will no doubt form some good relationships from your listening ability.

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10. Follow-up or forget about it.

Networking events are only the beginning of a connection. If you don’t follow up with the people you met, there was no point in going in the first place. Follow up by adding your new connections on LinkedIn, dropping them an email or giving them a call. If you want to, you could even arrange a one-to-one meeting where you can get to know each other better.

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Networking Tips For People Who Hate Networking

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Last Updated on March 29, 2021

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

When I left university I took a job immediately, I had been lucky as I had spent a year earning almost nothing as an intern so I was offered a role. On my first day I found that I had not been allocated a desk, there was no one to greet me so I was left for some hours ignored. I happened to snipe about this to another employee at the coffee machine two things happened. The first was that the person I had complained to was my new manager’s wife, and the second was, in his own words, ‘that he would come down on me like a ton of bricks if I crossed him…’

What a great start to a job! I had moved to a new city, and had been at work for less than a morning when I had my first run in with the first style of bad manager. I didn’t stay long enough to find out what Mr Agressive would do next. Bad managers are a major issue. Research from Approved Index shows that more than four in ten employees (42%) state that they have previously quit a job because of a bad manager.

The Dream Type Of Manager

My best manager was a total opposite. A man who had been the head of the UK tax system and was working his retirement running a company I was a very junior and green employee for. I made a stupid mistake, one which cost a lot of time and money and I felt I was going to be sacked without doubt.

I was nervous, beating myself up about what I had done, what would happen. At the end of the day I was called to his office, he had made me wait and I had spent that day talking to other employees, trying to understand where I had gone wrong. It had been a simple mistyped line of code which sent a massive print job out totally wrong. I learn how I should have done it and I fretted.

My boss asked me to step into his office, he asked me to sit down. “Do you know what you did?” I babbled, yes, I had been stupid, I had not double-checked or asked for advice when I was doing something I had not really understood. It was totally my fault. He paused. “Will you do that again?” Of course I told him I would not, I would always double check, ask for help and not try to be so clever when I was not!

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“Okay…”

That was it. I paused and asked, should I clear my desk. He smiled. “You have learnt a valuable lesson, I can be sure that you will never make a mistake like that again. Why would I want to get rid of an employee who knows that?”

I stayed with that company for many years, the way I was treated was a real object lesson in good management. Sadly, far too many poor managers exist out there.

The Complete Catalogue of Bad Managers

The Bully

My first boss fitted into the classic bully class. This is so often the ‘old school’ management by power style. I encountered this style again in the retail sector where one manager felt the only way to get the best from staff was to bawl and yell.

However, like so many bullies you will often find that this can be someone who either knows no better or is under stress and they are themselves running scared of the situation they have found themselves in.

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The Invisible Boss

This can either present itself as management from afar (usually the golf course or ‘important meetings) or just a boss who is too busy being important to deal with their staff.

It can feel refreshing as you will often have almost total freedom with your manager taking little or no interest in your activities, however you will soon find that you also lack the support that a good manager will provide. Without direction you may feel you are doing well just to find that you are not delivering against expectations you were not told about and suddenly it is all your fault.

The Micro Manager

The frustration of having a manager who feels the need to be involved in everything you do. The polar opposite to the Invisible Boss you will feel that there is no trust in your work as they will want to meddle in everything you do.

Dealing with the micro-manager can be difficult. Often their management style comes from their own insecurity. You can try confronting them, tell them that you can do your job however in many cases this will not succeed and can in fact make things worse.

The Over Promoted Boss

The Over promoted boss categorises someone who has no idea. They have found themselves in a management position through service, family or some corporate mystery. They are people who are not only highly unqualified to be managers they will generally be unable to do even your job.

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You can find yourself persistently frustrated by the situation you are in, however it can seem impossible to get out without handing over your resignation.

The Credit Stealer

The credit stealer is the boss who will never publically acknowledge the work you do. You will put in the extra hours working on a project and you know that, in the ‘big meeting’ it will be your credit stealing boss who will take all of the credit!

Again it is demoralising, you see all of the credit for your labour being stolen and this can often lead to good employees looking for new careers.

3 Essential Ways to Work (Cope) with Bad Managers

Whatever type of bad boss you have there are certain things that you can do to ensure that you get the recognition and protection you require to not only remain sane but to also build your career.

1. Keep evidence

Whether it is incidents with the bully or examples of projects you have completed with the credit stealer you will always be well served to keep notes and supporting evidence for projects you are working on.

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Buy your own notebook and ensure that you are always making notes, it becomes a habit and a very useful one as you have a constant reminder as well as somewhere to explore ideas.

Importantly, if you do have to go to HR or stand-up for yourself you will have clear records! Also, don’t always trust that corporate servers or emails will always be available or not tampered with. Keep your own content.

2. Hold regular meetings

Ensure that you make time for regular meetings with your boss. This is especially useful for the over-promoted or the invisible boss to allow you to ‘manage upwards’. Take charge where you can to set your objectives and use these meetings to set clear objectives and document the status of your work.

3. Stand your ground, but be ready to jump…

Remember that you don’t have to put up with poor management. If you have issues you should face them with your boss, maybe they do not know that they are coming across in a bad way.

However, be ready to recognise if the situation is not going to change. If that is the case, keep your head down and get working on polishing your CV! If it isn’t working, there will be something better out there for you!

Good luck!

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