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How To Be Emotionally Intelligent At Work

How To Be Emotionally Intelligent At Work

One of the great challenges that face anyone and anywhere today is learning how to deal with people at work and to find outcomes that will be mutually beneficial for everyone involved. Relying solely on one’s IQ will draw on your knowledge and skills acquired through education and experience but may lack the focus in a different area, which is your EQ or Emotional Intelligence.

Only those who can balance their IQ and EQ collectively in the workplace will truly become the successful people they want to become.

Here are steps to up your EQ so it equal to or exceeds your IQ in time.

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Know Your Triggers, Don’t Pull It

To raise your EQ, one must know one’s self first. What are the things that push your buttons or cause your to act irrationally or overly emotionally. What “triggers” set these emotions off, causing you to be frustrated, anger, upset or any of a myriad of emotions. Once you know what your “triggers” are, work on identifying them before they happen or begin to spin out of control.

Know to Control

All humans have emotions. Some wear theirs on their sleeves. Others never show them. High EQ people understand what their emotions are, realize when they are happen and keep them under control when and where appropriate. They stay calm in stressful environments and situations. They stay focus on rational thought and outcomes while not letting emotions cloud their decisions and judgement.

Know How to be a Problem Solver

If you want to raise your EQ, you must learn how to problem solve effectively. What this means is to not rush to decisions using your emotions, but rather use constructive thought through decision-making tools like Delphi, Stepladder and 6 Thinking Hats to measure thought and options to make better decisions.

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Know How to Redirect Your Thoughts

To counter your thoughts and what runs through your mind, a high EQ person will gradually re-wire their thinking to look at things differently. High-stress situations will not frustrate them, but rather will challenge them and they will respond appropriately. A high EQ person will not stereotype or not listen to what others have to say or offer. They will be open to suggestion and be willing to let others share their ideas.

Know When to Walk Away

If you want to develop a high EQ, you must learn when it is time to walk away. If you are in an argument or discussion and the environment an those in it are getting heated in their attitudes or approach, you should practice walking away. An emotionally mature person will excuse themselves by requesting a few minutes or another day to revisit the issue.

Know How to Be Respectful to All

When dealing with other people, you will want to treat everyone with respect, regardless how you might feel about them. Never let your feelings for someone or group of people to change how you will respect them.  Treat each person with an equal amount of respect in all situations.

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Know and Express Empathy

One EQ skill to develop fully is using empathy in your inter-rational exchanges with people daily. This is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s position. You need to be willing to see things from others perspectives. This should be a primary first step in dealing with people.

Know How to Handle Criticism

Criticism is not always easy to hear, bit if you want to raise your EQ, you should get comfortable with accepting it. Then if you find the criticism warrants it, apply information from it to improve your performance.

Know Your Way Around Any Social Situation

If your EQ is rising, you should be comfortable in social situation. You should build your confidence to talk to anyone, anywhere. The higher your EQ grows, the more likely you will be seen as great communicator who can handle disputes well and builds relationships masterfully.

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A competent person who has a high IQ and EQ become a force that will lead others and themselves to great success. Use these ideas to become emotionally intelligent at work and join their ranks.

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

How to Be Happy at Work and Find Fulfillment in Your Career

How to Be Happy at Work and Find Fulfillment in Your Career

If you’re going to spend 1/3 of our life at work, you should enjoy it, right?

Trust me, I know that’s easier said than done. Difficult coworkers, less-than-desirable tasks, or even just being in the wrong position can all lead to a lack of enjoyment and fulfillment in your work.

But what if I told you it doesn’t have to be this way? Or better yet, if you struggle with all of the above (and then some), what if I told you that enjoying your work and finding fulfillment regardless of those obstacles is possible?

Don’t believe me? I don’t blame you because I was there too. Before implementing the tips below, I struggled to get through each day, much less find real fulfillment, in the office. Now, even after the toughest days on the job, I still come away with feelings of pride, accomplishment, and fulfillment. The best news is, so can you.

If you’re ready to make those hours count and find happiness and fulfillment in the office, then read on to find out how to be happy at work and find fulfillment in your career:

1. Discover the root(s) of the problem

For this first step, we’ll need to think back to 8th-grade physics (humor me). We all know Newton’s 3rd law, “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” When you think about it, the same can be said outside of physics, and we see this law play out in our daily lives, day after day.

Simply put, all the issues we deal with in the office (and life in general) affect us in a noticeable way.

If you’re appreciated at work, like the work you do and receive frequent praise, promotions, or raises, then this will probably have an altogether positive effect on your life in the office.

But what if we reverse this? What if you feel under appreciated, get passed up for promotions, or get denied raises? This is sure to affect the way you feel at work on a negative level.

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So, before you can implement the steps of feeling happy and fulfilled at work, we first have to discover the reasons why you don’t feel that way already.

Think about it, write a list, or make a mental note. Run through all the reasons you’re dissatisfied in the office, and don’t hold back. Knowing the exact obstacles you’re facing will make overcoming them that much easier.

In fact, as a side-challenge to this article, I recommend picking the top three reasons contributing to your dissatisfaction at work and using the following tips to tackle them.

2. Practice gratitude for an instant uplift

Did you know the simple act of feeling grateful can increase your happiness and make you more fulfilled at work?[1]

Well, it’s true, and it’s scientifically proven.

Dr. Lisa Firestone notes that practicing gratitude “reminds us of what we lacked in the past.” Meaning, it serves as both a boost to happiness and a bit of a wake-up call that things have been or could be, much worse.

Trying to conjure up feelings of gratitude can seem almost impossible when your work situation seems bleak, but hear me out: There are incredibly easy ways to get started and it doesn’t involve trying to “force” yourself to feel grateful about things that stress you out.

For an instant pick-me-up, try this:

Find a loose piece of paper, a blank sticky note, or anything you can write on, be it physical or digital. List just three things that you are absolutely without-a-doubt thankful for in your life.

Now here’s the trick: Don’t just list what you’re grateful for, you have to list why you’re grateful for them, too.

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For example, simply saying “I’m grateful for my kids” will probably make you feel good, sure, but what if we could amplify the warm, fuzzy feeling into real, lasting motivation?

Instead, write the reason you’re so thankful for your children. Is it because they make you laugh and forget about other stressors? Or maybe they help to remind you of why you go to work every day in the first place?

Whatever your reasons may be, jot them down and keep your list somewhere you can see it while you work. A quick glance at your gratitude list throughout the day can provide powerful, positive motivation to keep going.

Bonus:

If you can find just three things to be thankful for that specifically relate to your job, and list why those things make you grateful, your list can also help you find fulfillment in your work itself which can give you an even bigger boost of positivity throughout the day.

3. Take meaningful time for yourself

We all know creating a strong work-life balance can be crucial to feeling satisfied in our jobs, but rarely do we ever address how we’re spending our time outside of work.

Many of us survive a 9-hour work day and commute home only to find ourselves busy with our personal to-do lists, running a household, and taking care of a child (or 2 or 3, and so on).

If you spend all your time working, whether in the office or within your household, you’re going to feel drained at some point. This is why setting meaningful time for yourself every day is highly important.

Look, I get it: I don’t know anyone in the working world who can shun all responsibility for a 3-movie marathon or happy hour with friends whenever they feel like it. But finding time for yourself, be it just 30 minutes to an hour, can really make a difference in how you feel at work.

This works because you’ll have time to actually relax and let the day’s stress melt away while you enjoy something just for you. The to-do lists and stressors will still be there after you’re refreshed and ready to tackle them.

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No time for me-time? Try this:

If you have a busy household, you’ll need to capitalize on a block of time you know will be completely uninterrupted. The easiest way to do this: try waking up 30 minutes to an hour earlier than usual (or push bedtime back an hour if you’re a night owl, like me) and take time to do something you enjoy.

This could be reading with a cup of tea, catching up on Facebook, spending time on a passion project—anything! As long as it’s meaningful to you, it works!

Bonus:

Starting your day with meaningful time for yourself can set you up to have a positive mood that lasts well into office hours, and having your me-time in the evening can give you something positive to look forward to during the day.

4. Get productive and feel accomplished

Don’t you just love the feeling of checking the last item off of a hefty to-do list? That’s because self-motivation can be a huge driver of positivity and success.

When we accomplish something, no matter how small, it makes us feel good, plain and simple. Applying this tactic to your daily work can be the motivator you need to find fulfillment during the daily office grind.

While there are tons of steps to get more done at work, I’ll share my personal favorite: Prioritizing.

Now, many people handle prioritizing differently. Some like to tackle the little tasks first so they can spend focused time on the big to-dos. Others like to knock out the big items first and get to the smaller ones when they can.

No matter which camp you’re in, you may be missing one crucial step: Time management.

So how’s this work? When you factor in the amount of time your priorities will take, it can transform your productivity ten-fold.

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Say you have three top priorities for the day. You might jump into the smaller ones or the bigger ones depending on your preferred method, and then find yourself out of time and bringing work home with you at the end of the day.

This is prevented when you factor in time. Knowing how long each item will take, or deliberately setting specific blocks of time for your priorities can help you accomplish more in the same 8-9 (or 12) hours that you typically spend at work.

Try this:

Take a look at your priorities and consider how long they should take. Pop into your Google calendar (or Filofax, whatever works for you) and schedule time to work on your priority items around any important meetings or events of the day.

The most important thing to remember is to stick to your dedicated time.

Often, when we know exactly how long we have to work on something (and honor this time limit), we’re motivated to get more done on time to avoid taking work home at the end of the day.

The bottom line

There’s no need to waste 1/3 of our lives feeling unsatisfied at work. Luckily, you now have the tools to get started, take back your time, and become happy and fulfilled at work again.

The only question is — which tip will you try first?

Featured photo credit: Ellyot via unsplash.com

Reference

[1]Psychology Today: The Healing Power of Gratitude

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