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How To Be Emotionally Intelligent At Work

How To Be Emotionally Intelligent At Work

One of the great challenges that face anyone and anywhere today is learning how to deal with people at work and to find outcomes that will be mutually beneficial for everyone involved. Relying solely on one’s IQ will draw on your knowledge and skills acquired through education and experience but may lack the focus in a different area, which is your EQ or Emotional Intelligence.

Only those who can balance their IQ and EQ collectively in the workplace will truly become the successful people they want to become.

Here are steps to up your EQ so it equal to or exceeds your IQ in time.

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Know Your Triggers, Don’t Pull It

To raise your EQ, one must know one’s self first. What are the things that push your buttons or cause your to act irrationally or overly emotionally. What “triggers” set these emotions off, causing you to be frustrated, anger, upset or any of a myriad of emotions. Once you know what your “triggers” are, work on identifying them before they happen or begin to spin out of control.

Know to Control

All humans have emotions. Some wear theirs on their sleeves. Others never show them. High EQ people understand what their emotions are, realize when they are happen and keep them under control when and where appropriate. They stay calm in stressful environments and situations. They stay focus on rational thought and outcomes while not letting emotions cloud their decisions and judgement.

Know How to be a Problem Solver

If you want to raise your EQ, you must learn how to problem solve effectively. What this means is to not rush to decisions using your emotions, but rather use constructive thought through decision-making tools like Delphi, Stepladder and 6 Thinking Hats to measure thought and options to make better decisions.

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Know How to Redirect Your Thoughts

To counter your thoughts and what runs through your mind, a high EQ person will gradually re-wire their thinking to look at things differently. High-stress situations will not frustrate them, but rather will challenge them and they will respond appropriately. A high EQ person will not stereotype or not listen to what others have to say or offer. They will be open to suggestion and be willing to let others share their ideas.

Know When to Walk Away

If you want to develop a high EQ, you must learn when it is time to walk away. If you are in an argument or discussion and the environment an those in it are getting heated in their attitudes or approach, you should practice walking away. An emotionally mature person will excuse themselves by requesting a few minutes or another day to revisit the issue.

Know How to Be Respectful to All

When dealing with other people, you will want to treat everyone with respect, regardless how you might feel about them. Never let your feelings for someone or group of people to change how you will respect them.  Treat each person with an equal amount of respect in all situations.

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Know and Express Empathy

One EQ skill to develop fully is using empathy in your inter-rational exchanges with people daily. This is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s position. You need to be willing to see things from others perspectives. This should be a primary first step in dealing with people.

Know How to Handle Criticism

Criticism is not always easy to hear, bit if you want to raise your EQ, you should get comfortable with accepting it. Then if you find the criticism warrants it, apply information from it to improve your performance.

Know Your Way Around Any Social Situation

If your EQ is rising, you should be comfortable in social situation. You should build your confidence to talk to anyone, anywhere. The higher your EQ grows, the more likely you will be seen as great communicator who can handle disputes well and builds relationships masterfully.

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A competent person who has a high IQ and EQ become a force that will lead others and themselves to great success. Use these ideas to become emotionally intelligent at work and join their ranks.

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Last Updated on March 29, 2021

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

When I left university I took a job immediately, I had been lucky as I had spent a year earning almost nothing as an intern so I was offered a role. On my first day I found that I had not been allocated a desk, there was no one to greet me so I was left for some hours ignored. I happened to snipe about this to another employee at the coffee machine two things happened. The first was that the person I had complained to was my new manager’s wife, and the second was, in his own words, ‘that he would come down on me like a ton of bricks if I crossed him…’

What a great start to a job! I had moved to a new city, and had been at work for less than a morning when I had my first run in with the first style of bad manager. I didn’t stay long enough to find out what Mr Agressive would do next. Bad managers are a major issue. Research from Approved Index shows that more than four in ten employees (42%) state that they have previously quit a job because of a bad manager.

The Dream Type Of Manager

My best manager was a total opposite. A man who had been the head of the UK tax system and was working his retirement running a company I was a very junior and green employee for. I made a stupid mistake, one which cost a lot of time and money and I felt I was going to be sacked without doubt.

I was nervous, beating myself up about what I had done, what would happen. At the end of the day I was called to his office, he had made me wait and I had spent that day talking to other employees, trying to understand where I had gone wrong. It had been a simple mistyped line of code which sent a massive print job out totally wrong. I learn how I should have done it and I fretted.

My boss asked me to step into his office, he asked me to sit down. “Do you know what you did?” I babbled, yes, I had been stupid, I had not double-checked or asked for advice when I was doing something I had not really understood. It was totally my fault. He paused. “Will you do that again?” Of course I told him I would not, I would always double check, ask for help and not try to be so clever when I was not!

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“Okay…”

That was it. I paused and asked, should I clear my desk. He smiled. “You have learnt a valuable lesson, I can be sure that you will never make a mistake like that again. Why would I want to get rid of an employee who knows that?”

I stayed with that company for many years, the way I was treated was a real object lesson in good management. Sadly, far too many poor managers exist out there.

The Complete Catalogue of Bad Managers

The Bully

My first boss fitted into the classic bully class. This is so often the ‘old school’ management by power style. I encountered this style again in the retail sector where one manager felt the only way to get the best from staff was to bawl and yell.

However, like so many bullies you will often find that this can be someone who either knows no better or is under stress and they are themselves running scared of the situation they have found themselves in.

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The Invisible Boss

This can either present itself as management from afar (usually the golf course or ‘important meetings) or just a boss who is too busy being important to deal with their staff.

It can feel refreshing as you will often have almost total freedom with your manager taking little or no interest in your activities, however you will soon find that you also lack the support that a good manager will provide. Without direction you may feel you are doing well just to find that you are not delivering against expectations you were not told about and suddenly it is all your fault.

The Micro Manager

The frustration of having a manager who feels the need to be involved in everything you do. The polar opposite to the Invisible Boss you will feel that there is no trust in your work as they will want to meddle in everything you do.

Dealing with the micro-manager can be difficult. Often their management style comes from their own insecurity. You can try confronting them, tell them that you can do your job however in many cases this will not succeed and can in fact make things worse.

The Over Promoted Boss

The Over promoted boss categorises someone who has no idea. They have found themselves in a management position through service, family or some corporate mystery. They are people who are not only highly unqualified to be managers they will generally be unable to do even your job.

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You can find yourself persistently frustrated by the situation you are in, however it can seem impossible to get out without handing over your resignation.

The Credit Stealer

The credit stealer is the boss who will never publically acknowledge the work you do. You will put in the extra hours working on a project and you know that, in the ‘big meeting’ it will be your credit stealing boss who will take all of the credit!

Again it is demoralising, you see all of the credit for your labour being stolen and this can often lead to good employees looking for new careers.

3 Essential Ways to Work (Cope) with Bad Managers

Whatever type of bad boss you have there are certain things that you can do to ensure that you get the recognition and protection you require to not only remain sane but to also build your career.

1. Keep evidence

Whether it is incidents with the bully or examples of projects you have completed with the credit stealer you will always be well served to keep notes and supporting evidence for projects you are working on.

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Buy your own notebook and ensure that you are always making notes, it becomes a habit and a very useful one as you have a constant reminder as well as somewhere to explore ideas.

Importantly, if you do have to go to HR or stand-up for yourself you will have clear records! Also, don’t always trust that corporate servers or emails will always be available or not tampered with. Keep your own content.

2. Hold regular meetings

Ensure that you make time for regular meetings with your boss. This is especially useful for the over-promoted or the invisible boss to allow you to ‘manage upwards’. Take charge where you can to set your objectives and use these meetings to set clear objectives and document the status of your work.

3. Stand your ground, but be ready to jump…

Remember that you don’t have to put up with poor management. If you have issues you should face them with your boss, maybe they do not know that they are coming across in a bad way.

However, be ready to recognise if the situation is not going to change. If that is the case, keep your head down and get working on polishing your CV! If it isn’t working, there will be something better out there for you!

Good luck!

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