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24 Funny Things to Tweet When You’re Out of Ideas

24 Funny Things to Tweet When You’re Out of Ideas

Twitter is a very handy social media outlet that can be used to expand your audience and help you make some friends. Try to think of tweets that you would want to read or tweets that you would share with your own followers in order to get the biggest bang out of each 140 character string of words. Try to stick with safe and relatable humor for the best response. You do not want to turn people off with crude humor, especially if you are representing a business or brand.

Let’s face it: sometimes, it can be a challenge to keep your Twitter account exciting and fun. Here are some ideas of funny things to tweet when you’re out of ideas.

Funny one-liners.

Quick and funny tweets are always winners on Twitter. Here are some examples:

1. 43 percent of statistics are made up.

2. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

3. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

4. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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5. Borrow money from a pessimist–they don’t expect it back.

6. Always remember that you are unique–just like everyone else.

Something funny or ironic to think about.

There are many questions that can’t really be answered, but are intriguing. Asking questions or making statements about them will surely get a response from your followers. Some possible tweets include:

7. Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?

8. All generalizations are false.

9. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Sad but true statements.

Struggles in life are relatable. When you point them out with a little humor, you are sure to get responses and many shares. Basically, if something is bugging you, try to think of something funny about the situation. Here are some examples:

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10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

12. Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

13. Gravity always gets me down.

14. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

15. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

16. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

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Oxymoron statements.

Statements or complaints that include oxymorons and make you do a double-take are always winners. Some examples include:

17. Ask me about my vow of silence.

18. The word “gullible” isn’t in the dictionary.

19. Honk if you like peace and quiet.

Daily life commentary.

People respond best to things they can relate to, so any and all comments about daily life are a great way to get re-tweets. Some examples include:

20. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

21. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

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22. Vacation begins when Dad says, “I know a short cut.”

23. Go 3 days without your favorite thing. Then go 3 days without sleep. It turns out sleep is actually your favorite thing.

24. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Bonus idea:

Some ecards.com

If you have not heard of someecards.com, you should definitely head over there. These funny photos and statements can be shared on Twitter with the click of a button and are sure to get a response.

Share your favorite articles, recipes, photos and more.

Many websites nowadays have share buttons so you can share the love (like the lovely button you see on the left..hint hint). Followers appreciate being presented with interesting articles and new websites to check out.

Remember, in order to expand your network on Twitter, share funny and relatable information or nuggets of wisdom/knowledge. Now get to tweeting!

More by this author

Amanda DeWitt

Writer. Photographer. Instagrammer. Future Educator.

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Last Updated on December 30, 2018

18 Best Time Management Apps and Tools (2019 Updated)

18 Best Time Management Apps and Tools (2019 Updated)

No one can dispute the countless benefits technology has brought us. It’s undoubtedly allowed us to connect, perform, improve and leverage our resources beyond what was once imaginable.

If you’re not taking advantage of one of the hundreds of time management apps and tools out there, you’re definitely missing a trick.

But with so many apps to choose from, how do you know which ones to use? Well, this will depend on your needs, but we’ve put together a list of 18 of the very best time management apps that can help you with the most common time management challenges.

Let’s dive straight into the list…

1. Rescue Time — Use your time wisely

    If you have doubts that you’re using your time sensibly, this app will send you weekly reports to indicate what things are stealing your time. You may be shocked to discover how much time you’re actually wasting.

    Download Rescue Time

    2. Remember The Milk — Keep on top of all your tasks

      If you’re struggling to manage everything you have to do, and you work with many different devices, then this is the app for you. It’s a great free tool which is compatible with your mobile, computer, Gmail, Outlook, etc. It helps you to manage your tasks easily, and reminds you of them – wherever you are.

      Download Remember the Milk

      3. Focus Booster – Boost motivation to complete tasks

        This app is based on the principles of the Pomodoro Technique, and is aimed at individuals who procrastinate and feel overwhelmed by tasks. It’s designed to enhance your focus and remove any anxiety you might have with time pressures.

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        Download Focus Booster

        4. Toggl – Keep track of time spent on projects and tasks

          This is a great alternative to time-sheets, if you need to track how much time you spend on different projects. Effective time management starts with being clear on exactly how much time you actually spend on your projects and tasks, and then through analysis, working out how you can manage them more effectively.

          Download Toggl

          5. Dropbox — Store and send large files easily

            There are many apps that allow you to transfer content from your computer to other devices – but Dropbox is free and easier to use than the others. With the Dropbox app, you can even access and share important files on the go.

            Download Dropbox

            6. Evernote — Keep all your notes in one place

              Evernote is a free productivity tool that allows you to capture all your ideas, thoughts and images in many different ways (e.g., with voice, notes or images).  You can even record your meetings, interviews, speeches and ideas, create lists, add voice or text attachments, and share your files with friends. You can also sync Remember The Milk with Evernote to really optimize your time.

              Download Evernote

              7. Mind42 — Focus on tasks at hand with mind mapping

                Mind mapping is a great productivity technique, and Mind42 is the best free mind mapping app currently available. It helps you to become more organized by focusing your thoughts – thereby gaining clarity on what needs to be done.

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                Download Mind42

                8. SyncBackFree — Back up and sync your files effortlessly

                  This free software allows you to back up, restore and synchronize your files easily. It not only saves you time now – but also in the future. If you have never backed up your files before, you should definitely take a look at this pivotal tool.

                  Download SnycBackFree

                  9. MyLifeOrganized (MLO) — Manage your to-do lists effectively

                    Check this out if you find it difficult to manage all your tasks, to work with your to-do lists, and to organize your goals. This task management system helps you to target what you should be focusing on to reach your objectives. It automatically generates to-do lists, with priority actions for your immediate attention so that you can track your progress methodically.

                    Download MyLifeOrganized (MLO)

                    10. 1Password — Have all your passwords remembered

                      This app allows you to keep all your passwords in one encrypted database, protected by one password. This saves you time when you forget your passwords and need to retrieve them. It also allows you to use various passwords for different accounts so you don’t compromise on security.

                      Download 1Password

                      11. Pocket — Keep your eye on the ball

                        When you’re surfing the web, it’s easy to get distracted by enticing and fascinating websites. Use this tool to save your ‘finds’ to access and read later on at a convenient time which will not impact on your immediate work.

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                        Download Pocket

                        12. [email protected] — Boost your attention span

                          This amazing app combines neuroscience and music to boost your productivity. According to the developers, it’s possible to increase your attention span by up to 400%! Ideal for those who find it difficult to focus while studying, working or reading.

                          Download [email protected]

                          13. Launchy — Interact with your computer in a smart way

                            This small and simple tool allows you to launch your documents, project files, folders, and bookmarks with just a few keystrokes. This makes life so much easier as you don’t need to go through the start menu to access what you want.

                            Download Launchy

                            14. Forest — Boost your focus by growing a forest

                              This unique and fun app helps you stay focused and on-track. The concept is simple: whenever you want to focus, plant a virtual tree. If you stay focused, the tree will grow. If you lose focus, the tree will die. As the app’s name implies, you can grow multiple trees to create a virtual forest!

                              Download Forest

                              15. Trello — Track your projects in a highly visual way

                                This is a hugely popular app that you may already be familiar with. It works by allowing you to create cards for tasks that you need to complete. Each card moves across the Trello board (which is typically broken into columns such as To Do, In Progress, and Completed) as your start, work on and complete the associated task.

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                                Download Trello

                                16. Wunderlist — Digitalize your to-do lists

                                  Purchased by Microsoft in 2015, Wunderlist is an easy to use, feature-packed to-do list app. From planning a holiday, to sharing a shopping list with a partner, or managing multiple work projects, Wunderlist will keep you on top of all your tasks.

                                  Download Wunderlist

                                  17. TimeTree — Have a shared calendar with your family

                                    This app allows families or teams to share multiple calendars and appointments. So, whether you’re planning a party, or run a local sports team, Time Tree can keep everyone up-to-date with all current and upcoming activities and events.

                                    Download Time Tree

                                    18. Todoist — Capture and order all your tasks and activities easily

                                      Todoist is close to being the ultimate digital to-do list. It’s available via browsers and apps, and lets you schedule all your tasks and activities. Each item can be flagged for priority as well as given a due date. There is also a neat option to add notes to any of your tasks.

                                      Download Todoist

                                      The above list covers what we consider to be the very best time management apps and tools. And the good news is – that many of them are completely free of charge! So, what are you waiting for? Select the ones that will be the most valuable to you – and begin boosting your productivity now!

                                      Oh, and one more thing… Take a look at a couple of our other articles that will help further streamline your time management:

                                      40 Top Productivity Apps for iPhone and 20 Quick Tips For Better Time Management

                                      More Recommended Productivity Experts on Lifehack

                                      • Leon Ho — The Founder and CEO of Lifehack, which he share productivity hacks to make life easier
                                      • Carl Pullein — A renowned productivity and time management coach
                                      • Mark Pettit — A Business Coach for ambitious entrepreneurs who want to achieve more by working less

                                      Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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