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24 Funny Things to Tweet When You’re Out of Ideas

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24 Funny Things to Tweet When You’re Out of Ideas

Twitter is a very handy social media outlet that can be used to expand your audience and help you make some friends. Try to think of tweets that you would want to read or tweets that you would share with your own followers in order to get the biggest bang out of each 140 character string of words. Try to stick with safe and relatable humor for the best response. You do not want to turn people off with crude humor, especially if you are representing a business or brand.

Let’s face it: sometimes, it can be a challenge to keep your Twitter account exciting and fun. Here are some ideas of funny things to tweet when you’re out of ideas.

Funny one-liners.

Quick and funny tweets are always winners on Twitter. Here are some examples:

1. 43 percent of statistics are made up.

2. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

3. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

4. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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5. Borrow money from a pessimist–they don’t expect it back.

6. Always remember that you are unique–just like everyone else.

Something funny or ironic to think about.

There are many questions that can’t really be answered, but are intriguing. Asking questions or making statements about them will surely get a response from your followers. Some possible tweets include:

7. Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?

8. All generalizations are false.

9. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Sad but true statements.

Struggles in life are relatable. When you point them out with a little humor, you are sure to get responses and many shares. Basically, if something is bugging you, try to think of something funny about the situation. Here are some examples:

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10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

12. Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

13. Gravity always gets me down.

14. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

15. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

16. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

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Oxymoron statements.

Statements or complaints that include oxymorons and make you do a double-take are always winners. Some examples include:

17. Ask me about my vow of silence.

18. The word “gullible” isn’t in the dictionary.

19. Honk if you like peace and quiet.

Daily life commentary.

People respond best to things they can relate to, so any and all comments about daily life are a great way to get re-tweets. Some examples include:

20. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

21. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

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22. Vacation begins when Dad says, “I know a short cut.”

23. Go 3 days without your favorite thing. Then go 3 days without sleep. It turns out sleep is actually your favorite thing.

24. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Bonus idea:

Some ecards.com

If you have not heard of someecards.com, you should definitely head over there. These funny photos and statements can be shared on Twitter with the click of a button and are sure to get a response.

Share your favorite articles, recipes, photos and more.

Many websites nowadays have share buttons so you can share the love (like the lovely button you see on the left..hint hint). Followers appreciate being presented with interesting articles and new websites to check out.

Remember, in order to expand your network on Twitter, share funny and relatable information or nuggets of wisdom/knowledge. Now get to tweeting!

More by this author

Amanda DeWitt

Writer. Photographer. Instagrammer. Future Educator.

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Last Updated on November 25, 2021

How to Make Private Browsing on Safari Truly Private

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How to Make Private Browsing on Safari Truly Private

There comes a time when we may be searching online and don’t want the browser to remember our footsteps. The reasons don’t always have to be what we obviously think of as the main reason; for example, sometimes, you may not want Safari to remember your passwords or prompt you to enter your password when surfing the web.

Whatever the reason, we may think that we are totally in the clear with Private Browsing on Safari and the other browsers on a Mac. However, a quick Terminal command can bring up every website you’ve visited. How do you do this? Also, how do you clear your tracks for good? We will provide both answers and more today.

    What Does Private Browsing Do?

    When activated, Private Browsing on Safari prevents your browsing history from being kept in the history tab of the application. Along with this, it doesn’t autofill information that you have saved in the browser. In this mode, you essentially become incognito and any references of previous use is essentially hidden when you are in private mode.

    For example: if you are on Facebook or filling out a form and some information or your login is already filled in in the spaces provided, this is called autofill. It’s activated by simply clicking Safari next to the Apple symbol in the menubar and selecting Private Browsing, then clicking “OK” to the prompt.

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    The reasons behind private mode differ for each individual. While we won’t go into all of those reasons, one thing that is  important to remember is that private browsing doesn’t forget the websites you visit. As we will see later on, Macs keep a second copy of the websites you visit in either mode. If you are in frantic mode looking for a solution to this, look no further.

    The Terminal Archive

    While Safari does a good job of keeping your search history out of prying eyes in the history tab, there is a less-than-obvious way to view a full list of visited websites on Mac. This is done in Terminal; the command-line emulator that allows you to make changes to your Mac.

    Terminal is located in the Utilities folder on your Mac. Once activated, simply add the command:

    dscacheutil -cachedump -entries Host

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    Once you hit “enter”, a list of the visited sites appear. Showing only the domains, the sites appear in a format of:

    Key: h_name :(website domain)ipv4 :1

    However, there’s no need to fear—there is a way you can clear this information from Terminal with a command that’s just as simple.

    Clearing Your Tracks

    Just as simply as you were able to enter the command to view the websites, you can clear the cache that Terminal showed you with the comamnd:

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    dscacheutil -flushcache

    As the command denotes, this literally “flushes” the domains from Terminal. This does not prevent the record from continuing to be recorded for future sites, however, so if that’s an issue for you, repeat this process regularly.

    Other Browsers and Private Browsing

    Other browsers have this form of privacy mode for their service. They promise many of the same things as Safari, but they do not have the same Terminal issue due to how this command only presents websites visited on Safari (the browser Macs come shipped with).

    If you use Firefox, you’ll notice that its private mode is also known as Private Browsing. Chrome calls private mode Incognito, while Internet Explorer refers to it as InPrivate Browsing. Opera is the newest to the scene, denoting it as Private Tab. Safari is the oldest well-known browser with this feature.

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    As you can see, despite Private Browsing not being 100% private, Terminal allows for your browser to be. In what ways has Terminal helped your life or allowed you to become more productive? Let us know in the comments below.

    Featured photo credit: Benjamin Dada via unsplash.com

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