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Why Focusing On Goals Is The Key to A Lasting Change

Why Focusing On Goals Is The Key to A Lasting Change

Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible” Tony Robbins

I believe that life is given to us to challenge, to grow within, to step out of comfort zone and achieve the bravest dreams. To make your dream come true – make it as goal and act. Make a plan, clear steps for each day. And you will see how your life takes a new level, each day will count, you will take the best out of it and experience lasting changes.

Each goal is like a challenge, it is a chance to change within, to overcome the doubts, worries or other emotions, which don’t let you go closer to your goal. Which tells you – you can’t do it, it is impossible. It is a chance to learn something new in life and about yourself, it is an opportunity to grow.

1. Decision to pursue for the goal, helps to keep clear vision and thoughts.

If you really want to achieve something, there is no room for doubts, worries or other negative thoughts. You know what you want and go for it, with no looking right or left or back. Just straight ahead. Spending all your energy looking for solutions.

“I am always more interested in what I am about to do than what I have already done” Rachel Carson

2. To achieve your goals, you have to change your daily habits. It is a chance to discipline yourself.

You realize how many things you do in a day that take you back and away from your goal. You have to give up the things which take energy, time and opportunity to do something useful. No matter what it is — watching TV shows or go out for parties — you have a choice to do something which takes you closer to your goal or keep living as used to.

“The biggest distraction in life to one’s focus is often near locus standing people saying all hocus-pocus.”Anuj Somany

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3. The difference between dream and goal is action.

In action, you can learn something new about yourself. You open the world to you. You can receive new opportunities, experience and vision.

“A dream becomes a goal when action is taken toward its achievement.” Bo Bennett

4. By setting a goal, you take a responsibility.

You take your life in your hands and you know – everything depends on you. You stop looking at others with envy or other negative thoughts. You look only at your goal and yourself; there is no competition with others.

“If you take responsibility for yourself, you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dream.” Les Brown

5. By achieving your goals, you learn patience.

It takes time to achieve something, to see the results. No matter what it is – failure or victory. You can’t have it right away. You have to take off the pride, the rush and look at the situation realistic and do your best in it. At the end, journey itself gives you fulfillment and meaning, and the result is just a gift for your experience.

 “Don’t let fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.”

Earl Nightingale

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6. When you turn your dream into a goal, you become more faithful.

When you have a dream, you wish and hope it will become true, when you have a goal, you have faith it is possible. It gives you strength. Even when you start doubting, the goal gives you strength to renew your faith and keep going. No matter how many failures you have experienced, you keep trying and believe that it is a part of the way to goal. You become humble, learn from the mistakes, take the lesson and go further with more understanding and faith.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” Martin Luther King. Jr.

7. Will power.

Focusing on your dream, you improve your will power. It gives strength not to give up. Learn from each failure, to stand up and keep going, not to look back, thinking what if…!

“To reach a port, we must sail – Sail, not tie at anchor – Sail, not drift.” Franklin Roosevelt

8. Become kind.

Not the result, but the journey counts. How you do it. You can reach your goals with aggression, in rush or you can take your time, live your life where you are, and step by step create what you want and change within. Often when you achieve something in a rush, you can lose it easily. Being kind to others and yourself makes the journey towards dream more meaningful. And it is nice to look back at your way to goal and realize, you have made this world a better place.

“Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.” Albert Schweitzer

9. Gratitude.

When you have reached some of your goals on your own, you can learn to appreciate it. To be grateful for all the failures, mistakes, for all the people who have helped you to come where you want to be. You take your time, sit back and feel gratefulness.

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“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” Melody Beattie

10. You receive and learn a joy of life.

By doing what you like, what you believe for. You share, you give and you create. Your true being blossoms and you feel alive.

“Things won are done, joy’s soul lies in the doing.” William Shakespear

11. You improve your creativity.

If you want to get out of obstacles. You have to learn to look at the situation from different perspective. When you are stuck in somewhere and you can’t get out of there, you do anything, become creative and see the unusual solutions.

“Creativity is not the finding of a thing, but the making something out of it after it is found.” James Russell Lowell

 

 I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. Michael Jordan

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I would like to share with you the story about Lizzie Velasquez and Nick Vujicic. They have inspired me and made me think, what do I do with my life with everything what has given to me. They have achieved so much. The have touched other people lives by their story, believes, action and honest way of living. They have made the best out of what they have and the strong will and goal has lead them to the better live. Without looking around, taking personally other people judgment. The faith, will to live as they want with no doubt that there is something they can’t do, they have reached more than they have ever dreamed.

“If I fail, I try again, and again, and again. If YOU fail, are you going to try again? The human spirit can handle much worse than we realize. It matters HOW you are going to FINISH. Are you going to finish strong?”  Nick Vujicic

What is your goal for today, for next year? Where do you want to be in 10 years? Who you are and what you do with that each day?

Featured photo credit: A new dawn/Justin Kern via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 23, 2020

5 Reasons for Your Facebook Addiction (and How to Break It)

5 Reasons for Your Facebook Addiction (and How to Break It)

Facebook is embedded into lives around the world. We use it to connect with friends, share important milestones, and check in with the news. However, what may seem like harmless scrolling can become harmful if it takes up inordinate amounts of time and turns into a Facebook addiction.

The first step to breaking any bad habit is to understand the symptoms and psychological triggers that made you pick up the habit in the first place. Below you’ll find the common causes, and the good news is that, once you’ve identified them, you can implement specific strategies to get over your Facebook addiction.

Symptoms of a Facebook Addiction

Do you find that the first thing you do when you wake up is grab your phone and scroll through Facebook? Is it the last thing you see before falling asleep? You may have a Facebook addiction. Here are some more of the signs and symptoms[1]:

  • You end up spending hours on Facebook, even when you don’t mean to.
  • You use Facebook to escape problems or change your mood.
  • You go to sleep later because you’re glued to your screen.
  • Your relationships are suffering because you spend more time on your phone than you do talking with the people you care about.
  • You automatically pull out your phone when you have free time.

You can check out this TED Talk by Tristan Harris to understand how Facebook and other social media gain and hold our attention:

Psychological Reasons for a Facebook Addiction

A compulsive Facebook addiction doesn’t come out of nowhere. There are often root causes that push you into Facebook, which can ultimately manifest as an addiction once you become dependent on it. Here are some of the common causes.

Procrastination

Facebook can cause procrastination, but many times, your tendency to procrastinate can lead you to scrolling through your Facebook feed.

Facebook capitalizes on your tendency to procrastinate[2] by incorporating a news feed with an infinite scroll. No matter how far down you go, there will always be more memes and status updates to keep you distracted from whatever you should be doing.

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Thus, it might be helpful to change your perception of Facebook. Instead of looking at it like a place to be social or kill time, frame Facebook as the enemy of your productivity and purpose. Doesn’t sound as tempting now, right?

Loneliness or Indecision

Facebook resembles a boring reality TV show that is on full display during every hour of the day. Do you really need to tell everybody what you ate for lunch? I doubt it.

You don’t share such trivial details to add value to people’s lives. You’re likely doing it because you’re lonely and in need of attention or approval[3].

Seeking opinions from your friends could be a sign of indecision or low self-confidence. If you get a bad suggestion, then you can conveniently blame somebody else, thus protecting your ego.

Social Comparisons

Social comparison is a natural part of being human[4]. We need to know where we stand in order to judge our rank among our peers. And Facebook has made this all too easy.

When we get into Facebook, our brains are bombarded by hundreds of people to compare ourselves to. We see our cousin’s amazing vacation to Europe, our friend’s adorable baby, our brother’s new puppy, etc. Everything looks better than what we have because, of course, people are only going to post the best parts.

This extreme form of social comparison with a Facebook addiction can, unfortunately, lead to depression. One study pointed out that “people feel depressed after spending a great deal of time on Facebook because they feel badly when comparing themselves to others”[5].

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People-Pleasing

Facebook takes advantage of your desire for instant gratification[6]. Your brain receives a dopamine hit every time you see that red notification light up. Dopamine is a chemical in your brain that causes you to seek pleasure from things.

Pleasure sounds nice in theory, but dopamine is responsible for self-destructive behavior if overproduced. Thus, becoming a slave to your notifications can destroy your self-control in a hurry.

If that wasn’t bad enough, the human desire to be liked and accepted is at play, too. Every time you get a “Like,” your brain decides that means somebody likes you. Keep this up and you’ll turn into an addict desperate for another “hit.”

Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Facebook wrecks your focus by preying on your fear of missing out. You check your Facebook feed during a date because you don’t want to miss any interesting updates. You check your messages while you drive because a friend might have something exciting to share.

One study found that “a high level of fear of missing out and high narcissism are predictors of Facebook intrusion, while a low level of fear of missing out and high narcissism are related to satisfaction with life”[7].

Therefore, while you may feel temporarily glad that you didn’t miss something, research shows that FOMO will actually reduce your overall life satisfaction.

How to Break a Facebook Addiction

Now that you know some of the causes of a Facebook addiction, you may be ready to break it. If so, follow these 5 steps to get over your addiction and improve your mental health.

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1. Admit the Addiction

You can’t fix a problem if you deny it exists. Don’t beat yourself up, but do try and be honest enough to admit you’re a Facebook addict. If it makes you feel any better, I’m a recovering addict myself. There is no reason to be ashamed.

Telling a trusted friend might help you stay accountable, especially if they share your goal.

2. Be Mindful of Triggers

In order to discover the triggers that lead you to use Facebook, ask yourself the following questions. It may be helpful to write them down at a journal.

  • What did I do? (scrolling, sharing, notification checking, etc.)
  • When did I do it? (down-time at work, as soon as you woke up, right before bed, on a date, etc.)
  • What happened right before? (a stressful event, boredom, etc.)
  • How did this make me feel? (stressed, anxious, sad, angry, etc.)

Once you’re aware of what pushes you to use Facebook, you can work on tackling those specific things to get over your Facebook addiction.

3. Learn to Recognize the Urge

Every time you feel the urge to update your status or check your feed, recognize that impulse for what it is (a habitual behavior—NOT a conscious decision). This is especially powerful when you complete step 2 because you’ll be able to make a mental note of the specific psychological trigger at play.

Have a plan for when you feel the desire to use Facebook. For example, if you know you use it when you’re bored, plan to practice a hobby instead. If you use it when you’re stressed, create a relaxation routine instead of jumping on Facebook.

4. Practice Self-Compassion

Facebook is an epic time-suck, but that doesn’t mean you should criticize yourself every time you log-on to your feed. Beating yourself up will make you feel bad about yourself, which will ironically cause you to be even more tempted.

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Self-loathing can only lead to failure. You might end up deciding it’s hopeless because you are “too lazy.”  If you want to break your addiction for good, then you need to be self-compassionate.

5. Replace the Addiction With a Positive Alternative

It’s a lot easier to eliminate a bad habit when you decide on a good habit that you would like to replace it with. I applied this idea by choosing to pick up a book every time I was tempted to check my feed.

The result blew my mind. I read over a hundred pages in the first day! Trust me when I say those “few minutes of down-time” can add up to an obscene amount of waste.

Having a specific metric to track is important. If you want to stay encouraged, you need to have compelling evidence that your time would be better spent elsewhere.

For example, download an app to help you determine exactly how much time is spent on Facebook so you know how much of your life you’re losing to it. Then, when you find a healthy alternative, you can feel good about all the time you’re giving to it!

Final Thoughts

Facebook addictions aren’t uncommon in today’s technologically dependent world. In the pursuit of human connection, we’ve mistakenly taken our interactions online, thinking it would be an easier alternative. Unfortunately, this is no replacement for genuine, face-to-face interaction in real life.

If you think you have a problem, there are things you can do to tackle it. Get started today and improve your overall well-being.

More on How to Use Social Media Less

Featured photo credit: Tim Bennett via unsplash.com

Reference

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