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Why Bringing Your Baggage to Work Hurts You

Why Bringing Your Baggage to Work Hurts You

Here is a shocking statistic for you. It is estimated that between 20 to 50 percent of people’s time at work is completely wasted on trivial and unproductive squabbling!  Guess what the cause of all this is? It is mainly because people carry their emotional baggage into the workplace. It is like a virus, infects the whole office and there is no easy vaccination or cure.

But what is all this baggage and why can’t we leave it at home?

It would be impossible not to carry the emotional scars of your childhood upbringing and broken relationships into the workplace. You cannot be a split personality but there are ways of recognizing that you may have this problem. You can stand back and assess whether this is really affecting your productivity and relationships with your coworkers.

Henry Ford once complained that all he wanted was a pair of hands to do the work but unfortunately, he had to also deal with the whole person. Look at the following types of baggage that you could carry into the workplace:

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  • Insecurity from childhood where you could not rely on your siblings and parents. This is revealed as a lack of trust in the workplace and results in being a control freak.
  • Viewing suggestions and criticism as if it was from your mother-in-law, rather than from your own mother. You tend to use too many filters in interpreting comments on your work.
  • Personal problems and a sense of being a victim or loser are affecting your own morale and those in your team. Negativity oozes out. It is not a pretty sight.
  • Bitterness, resentment and frustration are affecting your productivity.
  • Inability to separate in our minds a coworker from a competitive sibling or a boss from an unsympathetic parent.

Watch the video which explains the most common types of emotional baggage in the workplace, in addition to the pet peeves.

If you are empathetic, supportive, bossy, confrontational or just miserable at home, then you are very likely to carry all these into the workplace and they may be a help or a hindrance. The secret is to exploit your best qualities and leave the worst ones at the door. Easier said than done!

When you have a personal crisis

At some point you may have to face illness, the death of a loved one or go through a difficult break up or divorce. In these cases, it is almost impossible to leave the emotions caused by this suffering at home. This is where the support of colleagues may be invaluable, if you feel that it will help. Your desire for privacy may well prevail and you may wish to go it alone.

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If you feel that your work is going to be negatively affected, then you should think seriously about letting your manager or team leader know.  A sympathetic manager will be able to make allowances in the short term and keep a watchful eye.

On the other hand, if you find that the crisis is affecting your performance on a permanent basis, it may be necessary to get professional help so that you can overcome these obstacles.

Many people have found, myself included, that throwing yourself into work and being totally absorbed is an excellent way of getting through a crisis.

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Watch for the warning signs that your emotional baggage is becoming excess baggage

Look out for the warning signs that emotional baggage is causing friction and frustration in your work environment. Your coworkers, bosses and CEOs are all doing it, so don’t feel you are the only one!  But before you see the speck, look for the beam in your own eye. One or more of these problems may be blocking your career prospects:

  1. You are feeling insecure and you have a sort of persecution complex in that everyone else is against you.
  2. You are becoming stressed and compulsive about things which never bothered you before.
  3. You are always right and you rarely listen to other people’s opinions.
  4. You are too fond of the blame game. When things go wrong, it is never your fault.
  5. You are always complaining and people secretly think that you are a negatron.
  6. You are in denial about any of the above. You have never realized that these actually are creating conflict and resentment.

What you can do to move forward

“Sometimes the past should be abandoned, yes. Life is a journey and you can’t carry everything with you. Only the usable baggage.”- Ha Jin

If you are aware that you are carrying too much baggage, time to opt for the hand luggage and carry just the essentials:

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  • Try not to use your colleagues as sounding boards when you are angry and frustrated.
  • Assess your weaknesses which may well be a product of your upbringing or a difficult previous job.
  • Learn to be more helpful with colleagues.
  • Replace rage and whining with silence as it is not worth wasting your breath on them.
  • Stay away from companies who offer a ‘family’ like atmosphere as you may well find your self embroiled in another family!

Sylvia LaFair, author of ‘Don’t Bring it to Work: Breaking the Family Patterns That Limit Success’, recommends that we must turn all the family baggage into productive and creative energy which will improve working conditions for everyone.

Have you managed to keep your emotional baggage under control at work? Let us know how you did that in the comments below.

Featured photo credit: Emotional baggage/scottnj via flickr.com

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Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on March 23, 2021

Manage Your Energy so You Can Manage Your Time

Manage Your Energy so You Can Manage Your Time

One of the greatest ironies of this age is that while various gadgets like smartphones and netbooks allow you to multitask, it seems that you never manage to get things done. You are caught in the busyness trap. There’s just too much work to do in one day that sometimes you end up exhausted with half-finished tasks.

The problem lies in how to keep our energy level high to ensure that you finish at least one of your most important tasks for the day. There’s just not enough hours in a day and it’s not possible to be productive the whole time.

You need more than time management. You need energy management

1. Dispel the idea that you need to be a “morning person” to be productive

How many times have you heard (or read) this advice – wake up early so that you can do all the tasks at hand. There’s nothing wrong with that advice. It’s actually reeks of good common sense – start early, finish early. The thing is that technique alone won’t work with everyone. Especially not with people who are not morning larks.

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I should know because I was once deluded with the idea that I will be more productive if I get out of bed by 6 a.m. Like most of you Lifehackers, I’m always on the lookout for productivity hacks because I have a lot of things in my plate. I’m working full time as an editor for a news agency, while at the same time tending to my side business as a content marketing strategist. I’m also a travel blogger and oh yeah, I forgot, I also have a life.

I read a lot of productivity books and blogs looking for ways to make the most of my 24 hours. Most stories on productivity stress waking up early. So I did – and I was a major failure in that department – both in waking up early and finishing early.

2. Determine your “peak hours”

Energy management begins with looking for your most productive hours in a day. Getting attuned to your body clock won’t happen instantly but there’s a way around it.

Monitor your working habits for one week and list down the time when you managed to do the most work. Take note also of what you feel during those hours – do you feel energized or lethargic? Monitor this and you will find a pattern later on.

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My experiment with being a morning lark proved that ignoring my body clock and just doing it by disciplining myself to wake up before 8 a.m. will push me to be more productive. I thought that by writing blog posts and other reports in the morning that I would be finished by noon and use my lunch break for a quick gym session. That never happened. I was sleepy, distracted and couldn’t write jack before 10 a.m.

In fact that was one experiment that I shouldn’t have tried because I should know better. After all, I’ve been writing for a living for the last 15 years, and I have observed time and again that I write more –and better – in the afternoon and in evenings after supper. I’m a night owl. I might as well, accept it and work around it.

Just recently, I was so fired up by a certain idea that – even if I’m back home tired from work – I took out my netbook, wrote and published a 600-word blog post by 11 p.m. This is a bit extreme and one of my rare outbursts of energy, but it works for me.

3. Block those high-energy hours

Once you have a sense of that high-energy time, you can then mold your schedule so that your other less important tasks will be scheduled either before or after this designated productive time.

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Block them out in your calendar and use the high-energy hours for your high priority tasks – especially those that require more of your mental energy and focus. You also need to use these hours to any task that will bring you closer to you life’s goal.

If you are a morning person, you might want to schedule most business meetings before lunch time as it’s important to keep your mind sharp and focused. But nothing is set in stone. Sometimes you have to sacrifice those productive hours to attend to other personal stuff – like if you or your family members are sick or if you have to attend your son’s graduation.

That said, just remember to keep those productive times on your calendar. You may allow for some exemptions but stick to that schedule as much as possible.

There’s no right or wrong way of using this energy management technique because everything depends on your own personal circumstances. What you need to remember is that you have to accept what works for you – and not what other productivity gurus say you should do.

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Understanding your own body clock is the key to time management. Without it, you end up exhausted chasing a never-ending cycle of tasks and frustrations.

Featured photo credit: Collin Hardy via unsplash.com

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