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When I Learn To Embrace Criticism, These 10 Amazing Things Happened

When I Learn To Embrace Criticism, These 10 Amazing Things Happened

“To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” ~ Elbert Hubbard

There was a time in my life when I hated, and even feared, being appraised or evaluated. I didn’t like being told I was wrong. In fact, I tried to live a ‘careful’ life or lied to avoid these horrible encounters.

Do you find yourself bending over backward to try to win someone’s approval? Or try to hide something you feel won’t get approval?

Do you pull yourself in and try to make yourself physically small when you are criticized?

When someone makes a comment about you, do you become defensive, or go take the other route of going quiet, while at the same time as your mind races around attaching all sorts of meaning to the comments?

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Critics abound! None of us are immune to them.

You cannot control what others say to you but, when you learn to embrace criticism amazing things can happen.

New horizons open

Criticism can open you up to new ideas and new ways of looking at things. When you pay attention to the words being spoken and not the criticism itself, you just might get a glimpse of a brilliant idea that you can use or expand upon. Listening to criticism had lead me to make some positive moves that I hadn’t thought of.

Listening skills become sharper

When you realize there is value in listening to what is being said, you become an active listener. The typical reaction would be to mentally begin preparing your defense as you partially listened. When you stop doing this, you begin to listen attentively to the whole comment. Separating the gems from the rubbish and then use them to make adjustments and gain success.

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Have more win-win scenarios

When you dig in your heels and defend your position at all cost, you could be doing so at the expense of losing friends, family or a job. Sometimes when you know there is no way to reach an agreement, the best thing to do is to agree to disagree. It is surprising how fast the tension eases and the conversation changes. An adversary could become a friend.

Improve relationships

Criticism gives you the opportunity to explore your people-pleasing tendencies. Relationships based on the need for constant approval can be draining for all parties. You cannot control what other people think and it is an energy drainer to try. When you stop pleasing others it is very liberating and your relationships often strengthen.

Saves time and energy

After receiving criticism, if you spend hours stewing on what he/she meant, what you should have said, or engaging in mental arguments, you are wasting time and energy. You lose focus and become less productive. However, if you can refrain from reacting and quickly appraise the criticism for it’s worth then move on, you save time and energy. For me, this is one of the great benefits of embracing criticism.

Become less stressed

When you acquire the ability to let go of your feelings and thoughts around being criticized you naturally become less stressed. Letting go of worries and fears releases the stress that you hold when you are in a defensive mode. When you no longer make yourself small and start to curl inward like you want to hide, you know you have let go. You can stand tall, be open, and listen for what you can use.

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Instills motivation

Many times criticism magnifies you inner insecurities. You may have doubts or insecurities around something, but the moment someone points it out you are off to prove them wrong. I was great at coming back in attack mode. The beauty of it is that once you get beyond that which is holding you back you realize it wasn’t so bad after all. You might even be motivated to take on something completely new.

Recognize genuine vs false criticism

Some critics give you useful comments while others have no constructive value whatsoever. It is important to differentiate between what is useful and what isn’t. This is very valuable as you strive to do bigger and greater things in life. The greater your success the more criticism you will receive. Know what to ignore and what to heed can be invaluable.

Create clear boundaries

There are times when critics deliver their message in less than tolerable ways. When this happens you might reply with, “You are making some valuable points but, I think I would be more willing to accept them if you didn’t raise your voice.” It is one thing to give criticism, it is another to be rude or arrogant. Letting others know how you feel establishes a boundary of what is acceptable and what isn’t.

Accept imperfection

Receiving criticism well reminds you that it is okay to have imperfections – in yourself and others. If you can admit you aren’t perfect and strive to make improvements in these areas, you’ll experience more happiness, peace, joy and success.

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Accepting that you, and everyone else, is perfectly imperfect makes life so much easier and happier. This is was a great relief in my life and I am lighter for it.

In what ways has embracing criticism enhanced your life?

Featured photo credit: Full Speed Engines on the Disney Cruise/TreyRatcliff via flickr.com

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Last Updated on May 20, 2019

How to Prevent Inaction from Leading to Regret

How to Prevent Inaction from Leading to Regret

Time.

When you think of this construct, where do you see your time being spent?

As William Shakespeare famously wrote “I wasted time, and now doth time waste me…”

Have you used your time wisely? Are you where you want to be?

Or do you have unfinished goals to attain… places you want to be, things you still need to do?

The hard truth is, that time once passed cannot be replaced–which is why it is common to hear people say that one should not squander time doing nothing, or delay certain decisions for later. More often than not, the biggest blocker from reaching our goals is often inaction – which is essentially doing nothing, rather than doing something. 

There are many reasons why we may not do something. Most often it boils down to adequate time. We may feel we don’t have enough time, or that it’s never quite the right time to pursue our goals.

Maybe next month, or maybe next year…

And, before you know it, the time has passed and you’re still no where near achieving those goals you dream about. This inaction often leads to strong regret once we look at the situation through hindsight. So, take some time now to reflect on any goal(s) you may have in mind, or hidden at the back of your mind; and, think about how you can truly start working on them now, and not later.

So, how do you start?

Figure Out Your Purpose (Your Main Goal)


The first important step is to figure out your purpose, or your main goal.

What is it that you’re after in life? And, are there any barriers preventing you from reaching your goal? These are good questions to ask when it comes to figuring out how (and for what purpose) you are spending your time.

Your purpose will guide you, and it will ensure your time spent is within the bounds of what you actually want to accomplish.

A good amount of research has been done on how we as humans develop and embrace long-term and highly meaningful goals in our lives. So much so, that having a purpose has connections to reduced stroke, and heart attack. It turns out, our desire to accomplish goals actually has an evolutionary connection–especially goals with a greater purpose to them. This is because a greater purpose often helps both the individual, and our species as a whole, survive.

Knowing why it is you’re doing something is important; and, when you do, it will be easier to budget your time and effort into pursuing after those milestones or tasks that will lead to the accomplishment of your main goal.

Assess Your Current Time Spent

Next comes the actual time usage. Once you know what your main goal is, you’ll want to make the most of the time you have now. It’s good to know how you’re currently spending your time, so that you can start making improvements and easily assess what can stay and what can go in your day to day routine.

For just one day, ideally on a day when you’d like to be more productive, I encourage you to record a time journal, down to the quarter hour if you can manage. You may be quite surprised at how little things—such as checking social media, answering emails that could wait, or idling at the water cooler or office pantry —can add up to a lot of wasted time.

To get you started, I recommend you check out this quick self assessment to assess your current productivity: Want To Know How Much You’re Getting Done In A Day?

Tricks to Tackle Distractions

Once you’ve assessed how you’re currently spending your time, I hope you won’t be in for too big of a shock when you see just how big of an impact distractions and time wasters are in your life.

Every time your mind wanders from your work, it takes an average of 25 minutes and 26 seconds to get into focus again. That’s almost half an hour of precious time every time you entertain a distraction!

Which is why it’s important to learn how to focus, and tackle distractions effectively. Here’s how to do it:

1. Set Time Aside for Focusing

One way to stay focused is to set focused sessions for yourself. During a focused session, you should let people know that you won’t be responding unless it’s a real emergency.

Set your messaging apps and shared calendars as “busy” to reduce interruptions. Think of these sessions as one on one time with yourself so that you can truly focus on what’s important, without external distractions coming your way.

2. Beware of Emails

Emails may sound harmless, but they can come into our inbox continuously throughout the day, and it’s tempting to respond to them as we receive them. Especially if you’re one to check your notifications frequently.

Instead of checking them every time a new notification sounds, set a specific time to deal with your emails at one go. This will no doubt increase your productivity as you’re dealing with emails one after the other, rather than interrupting your focus on another project each time an email comes in.

Besides switching off your email notifications so as not to get distracted, you could also install a Chrome extension called Block Site that helps to stop Gmail notifications coming through at specific times, making it easier for you to manage these subtle daily distractions.

3. Let Technology Help

As much as we are getting increasingly distracted because of technology, we can’t deny it’s many advantages. So instead of feeling controlled by technology, why not make use of disabling options that the devices offer?

Turn off email alerts, app notifications, or set your phone to go straight to voicemail and even create auto-responses to incoming text messages. There are also apps like Forrest that help to increase your productivity by rewarding you each time you focus well, which encourages you to ignore your phone.

4. Schedule Time to Get Distracted

Just as important as scheduling focus time, is scheduling break times. Balance is always key, so when you start scheduling focused sessions, you should also intentionally pen down some break time slots for your mind to relax.

This is because the brain isn’t created to sustain long periods of focus and concentration. The average attention span for an adult is between 15 and 40 minutes. After this time, your likelihood of distractions get stronger and you’ll become less motivated.

So while taking a mental break might seem unproductive, in the long run it makes your brain work more efficiently, and you’ll end up getting more work done overall.

Time is in Your Hands

At the end of the day, we all have a certain amount of time to go all out to pursue our heart’s desires. Whatever your goals are, the time you have now, is in your hands to make them come true.

You simply need to start somewhere, instead of allowing inaction waste your time away, leaving you with regret later on. With a main goal or purpose in mind, you can be on the right track to attaining your desired outcomes.

Being aware of how you spend your time and learning how to tackle common distractions can help boost you forward in completing what’s necessary to reach your most desired goals.

So what are you waiting for? 

Featured photo credit: Aron Visuals via unsplash.com

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