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Last Updated on June 18, 2020

What is Positive Realism?

What is Positive Realism?

“The attitude of positive realism combines both the visionary view,  as well as a realistic mode of thinking. The key aspect of positive realism is that we dream big – but then set realistic goals.” — Mary Jaksch

I connected with what Mary says here. It’s great to have big, huge, even enormous dreams, but living in that dream world is not practical.

Now, don’t get me wrong here; I am a HUGE believer in the Law of Attraction, and I definitely believe that whatever you dream can come true, but if you are only living in the rose-coloured- glasses world where you are the cheeriest person on earth without a real grasp of everyday living, you might be heading for trouble.

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A little history, just in case you didn’t know:

The basic premise of the Law of Attraction is that like attracts like. You can imagine yourself as a magnet attracting all of the circumstances, people and things in your life; your thoughts, visions, and feelings all work to attract certain things into your life.  You can learn to use the Law of Attraction just put it into practice. Look for evidence of the things you want, and don’t forget to be patient with yourself. The Law of Attraction is literally you. Don’t expect overnight changes from yourself, but  be balanced while still being open minded to great possibilities.

So how do you create that balance?

You have one side where you have great dreams and future plans and you have another side where you have your everyday life.  The bills still need to be taken care of, the kids still need to be feed, your taxes still need to be paid.

Well, as Mary says “the key aspect of positive realism is that we dream – but then set realistic goals.

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To me, goals are dreams with deadlines—I create them to challenge myself, to lead me on a journey to be a better person, to explore what I am capable of and what I can do for others. For me, life is not complete without goals so to me, this is the balance.

I feel like I literally have my dreams in one hand and my goals in another hand and they are keeping my whole life balanced.  My dreams are my map and my goals are my compass; only together will I be able to find what I am looking for in life.

I truly feel that nothing at all is impossible when I am actively using Positive Realism to propel my life forward.

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Now, how do you put this into practice?

“Through constant repetition by writing, you’re programming your unconscious mind to accept that your goals are possible, or likely, or realistic, or even already fulfilled. Then your unconscious mind will start bending reality to make your goals come true.” — Craig Childs

Imagine that you had all the money you could ever want, as well as great relationships and perfect health. Imagine you spent your life in peace and joy. If you practice the Laws of Attraction, these things can come true for you. The first thing you must do to practice the Laws is to embrace a feeling of gratitude: be thankful for everything that you have.  Focusing on the good things in your life will help you key in on positive feelings.

Positive feelings will translate into a positive energy, according to the Laws of Attraction.  When you send out this kind of positive energy, you will see good things come back to you in return.You can concentrate on the positive things by holding some kind of talisman in your pocket that will help you remember to be thankful every time you touch it.

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Know what you want and simply, ask for it.  Say it, write it, and believe in it.  Think of it as if it has already happened. Imagine that it has, using the Laws of Attraction.  Don’t do this in a whimsical, “gee wouldn’t it be swell” way, but actually close your eyes and visualize it. Don’t expect to know the method by which your dreams will come true—the Laws don’t work that way. You just need to trust that a good thing will happen, and leave the “how” up to the universe.

Knowing the Laws of Attraction can change your life.  It takes a certain mindset to work with this mindset, but it is not hard to master—it just takes time, patience, and most of all, a lot of faith.

Faith combined with realism is the winning ticket for success.   Start down the road to balancing your dreams and your goals.

Featured photo credit: Gianandrea Villa via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on November 12, 2020

15 Reasons Why You Can’t Achieve Your Goals

15 Reasons Why You Can’t Achieve Your Goals

The truth about many of our failed goals is that we haven’t achieved them because we didn’t know how to set and accomplish goals effectively, rather than having not had enough willpower, determination, or fortitude. There are strings of mistakes standing in our way of accomplished goals. Fortunately for us, we don’t have to fall victim to these mistakes for 2015. There are many common mistakes we make with setting goals, but there are also surefire ways to fix them too.

Goal Setting

1. You make your goals too vague.

Instead of having a vague goal of “going to the gym,” make your goals specific—something like, “run a mile around the indoor track each morning.”

2. You have no way of knowing where you are with your goals.

It’s hard to recognize where you are at reaching your goal if you have no way of measuring where you are with it. Instead, make your goal measurable with questions such as, “how much?” or “how many?” This way, you always know where you stand with your goals.

3. You make your goals impossible to reach.

If it’s impossible of reaching, you’re simply not going to reach for it. Sometimes, our past behavior can predict our future behavior, which means if you have no sign of changing a behavior within a week, don’t set a goal that wants to accomplish that. While you can do many things you set your mind to, it’ll be much easier if you realize your capabilities, and judge your goals from there.

4. You only list your long-term goals.

Long-term goals tend to fizzle out because we’re stuck on the larger view rather than what we need to accomplish in the here and now to get there. Instead, list out all the short-term goals involved with your long-term goal. For instance, if you want to seek a publisher for a book you’ve written, your short-term goals might involve your marketing your writing and writing for more magazines in order to accomplished your goal of publishing. By listing out the short-term goals involved with your long-term goal, you’ll focus more on doing what’s in front of you.

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5. You write your goals as negative statements.

It’s hard to reach a goal that’s worded as, “don’t fall into this stupid trap.” That’s not inspiring, and when you’re first starting out, you need inspiration to stay committed to your goal. Instead, make your goals positive statements, such as, “Be a friend who says yes more” rather than, “Stop being an idiot to your friends.”

6. You leave your goals in your head.

Don’t keep your goals stuck in your head. Write them down somewhere and keep them visible. It’s a way making your goals real and holding yourself accountable for achieving them.

Achieving Goals

7. You only focus on achieving one goal at a time, and you struggle each time.

In order to keep achieving your goals, one right after the others, you need to build the healthy habits to do so. For instance, if you want to write a book, developing a habit of writing each morning. If you want to lose weight and eventually run a marathon, develop a habit of running each morning. Focus on buildign habits, and your other goals in the future will come easier.

Studies show that it takes about 66 days on average to change or develop a habit.[1] If you focus on forming one habit every 66 days, that’ll get you closer to accomplishing your goals, and you’ll also build the capability to achieve more and more goals later on with the help of your newly formed habits.

8. You live in an environment that doesn’t support your goals.

Gary Keller and Jay Papasan in their book, The One Thing, state that environments are made up of people and places. They state that these two factors must line up to support your goals. Otherwise, they would cause friction to your goals. So make sure the people who surround you and your location both add something to your goals rather than take away from them.

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9. You get stuck on the end result with your goals.

James Clear brilliantly suggests that our focus should be on the systems we implement to reach our goals rather than the actual end result. For instance, if you’re trying to be healthier with your diet, focus more on sticking to your diet plan rather than on your desired end result. It’ll keep you more concentrated on what’s right in front of you rather than what’s up in the sky.

Keeping Motivated

10. You get discouraged with your mess-ups.

When I wake up each morning, I focus all my effort in building a small-win for myself. Why? Because we need confidence and momentum if we want to keep plowing through the obstacles of accomplishing our goals. Starting my day with small wins helps me forget what mess-ups I had yesterday, and be able to reset.

Your win can be as small as getting out of bed to writing a paragraph in your book. Whatever the case may be, highlight the victories when they come along, and don’t pay much attention to whatever mess-ups happened yesterday.

11. You downplay your wins.

When a win comes along, don’t downplay it or be too humble about it. Instead, make it a big deal. Celebrate each time you get closer to your goal with either a party or quality time doing what you love.

12. You get discouraged by all the work you have to do for your goals.

What happens when you focus on everything that’s in front of you is that you can lose sight of the big picture—what you’re actually doing this for and why you want to achieve it. By learning how to filter the big picture through your every day small goals, you’ll be able to keep your motivation for the long haul. Never let go of the big picture.

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13. You waste your downtime.

When I take a break, I usually fill my downtime with activities that further me toward my goals. For instance, I listen to podcasts about writing or entrepreneurship during my lunch times. This keeps my mind focused on the goal, and also utilizes my downtime with motivation to keep trying for my goals.

Wondering what you can do during your downtime? Here’re 20 Productive Ways to Use the Time.

14. You have no system of accountability.

If you announce your goal publicly, or promise to offer something to people, those people suddenly depend on your accomplishment. They are suddenly concerned for your goals, and help make sure you achieve them. Don’t see this as a burden. Instead, use it to fuel your hard work. Have people depend on you and you’ll be motivated to not let them down.

15. You fall victim to all your negative behaviors you’re trying to avoid with your goals.

Instead of making a “to-do” list, make a list of all the behaviors, patterns, and thinking you need to avoid if you ever want to reach your goal. For instance, you might want to chart down, “avoid Netflix” or “don’t think negatively about my capability.” By doing this, you’ll have a visible reminder of all the behavior you need to avoid in order to accomplish your goals. But make sure you balance this list out with your goals listed as positive statements.

How To Stop Failing Your Goal?

If you want to stop failing your goal and finally reach it, don’t miss these actionable tips explained by Jade in this episode of The Lifehack Show:

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Bottom Line

Overcoming our mistakes is the first step to building healthy systems for our goals. If you find one of these cogs jamming the gears to your goal-setting system, I hope you follow these solutions to keep your system healthy and able to churn out more goals.

Make this year where you finally achieve what you’ve only dreamed of.

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Featured photo credit: NORTHFOLK via unsplash.com

Reference

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