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These 5 Things Hold You Back From Success

These 5 Things Hold You Back From Success

So you want to let go of some of the stuff that is holding you back from success?

You can and will make the changes you need to make–and it can be easier than you think.

As a life coach, there is one thing I know for sure: success is relative.  Everything is relative.  We all have different rules and meaning for feeling particular ways.  We must know what our definitions of success are, and we must know key behaviors and points of focus to avoid.

Here is what to let go of if you want to feel better, look better and have a more successful life (in all areas).

1.  Let go of the need to be “right” and get perspective.

I see over and over that the need to be right often destroys relationships and happiness.

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Everyone has a perspective.  You will be surprised that a little validation of someone’s feelings and point of view will take you a long way.

You will feel more supported, loved and have an easier flow in your relationships if you simply let go of the need to be right all the time.

2.  Let go of routine and bring in variety.

Believe it or not, one common pattern that holds people back is routine.

Building good habits can be very productive.  But in life, nothing is constant.  Nothing is permanent.  You must be able to move and go with the flow.  Build that muscle.  It will make you stronger.

The more you get used to variety and become more agile in your nature, the more you can move with the challenges of life.  Trust me, they will come.  Let go of the need to do the same routine and change it up.

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3.  Let go of anger and move through it.

We all pretty much know this one.  Anger leads to illness and it destroys lives.  But anger has a million different faces.

Anger creates separation between you and others.  It also creates separation within yourself.

I know how anger feels and it is not easy to switch off.  You can’t fight anger.  You have to dance with it.  You have to face it and work with it.  Anger can be hidden and show up as passive aggressive behavior, and it can also come out as rage.

One simple rule when it comes to letting go of anger:

When you experience anger, face it and, let it show you what the real message is.  There is something there.  You may not want to see it, but it is a process of awareness and when you move through it, the reward is worth it!

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4.  Let go of that heavy baggage and embrace the present moment.

We only really have what is in front of us now.  The funny thing is that we are pretty much always playing this movie in our minds that has nothing to do with the moment we are in.

We are remembering past memories, fears, creating stories that haven’t even happened yet, and we are somewhere else in our minds most of the time.

You can spend your whole life trying to get rid of baggage.

Or, you can simply bring it back to the moment, every moment.  It’s as simple as that.  Focus on what is in front of you–what is really happening and what you really want in this moment.  Right now.

5.  Let go of resistance and focus on what you want.

Actually, the reality is that there is no way to eliminate stress.  Stress will always be here.  Everyone will experience stress.  The whole world is trying to figure out how to eliminate it and it is a part of life!

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What I really am suggesting here is similar to my point above about baggage.  Let go of that need to hold on to all the “stuff.”

I coach my clients who are under major life stress to first accept, then to strategize and then to take action.  The main thing to let go of here is resistance that you are creating against the thing that you don’t want.

When you experience stress—any stress—what that is really telling you is that you want to move against or away from something.

So start to focus on what you do want.  Bring in the details, the feelings and what you would do if you got it.  Change focus.  If you are stressed about a relationship or a deadline at work, ask yourself what you do want and immediately focus on that.

We are all currently in a process.  Embrace it.  It is for your highest good.  Anything you face— the good, the bad and the ugly are teaching you to be a better, more loving and ultimately more accepting person.

One last point:  There is nothing wrong with you.  Think about all the lessons you have learned in your life.  Some were hard, some came easy and some will take your whole life to learn.  Let go of the judgments you place on other people as they are learning these life lessons—and most importantly the judgment you place on yourself.

I help my coaching clients overcome major life challenges and almost always end up coming back to self-acceptance, self-love and self-connection.  If you are reading this, you are on the right track.  Keep going and let me know how it goes.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

What Is Creativity? We All Have It, and Need It

What Is Creativity? We All Have It, and Need It

Do you think of yourself as a creative person? Do you play the drums or do watercolor paintings? Perhaps compose songs or direct plays? Can you even relate to any of these so called ‘creative’ experiences? Growing up, did you ever have that ‘artistic’ sibling or friend who excelled in drawing, playing instruments or literature? And you maybe wondered why you can’t even compose a birthday card greeting–or that drawing stick figures is the furthest you’ll ever get to drawing a family portrait. Many people have this common assumption that creativity is an inborn talent; only a special group of people are inherently creative, and everyone else just unfortunately does not have that special ability. You either have that creative flair or instinct, or you don’t. But, this is far from the truth! So what is creativity?

Can I Be Creative?

The fact is, that everyone has an innate creative ability. Despite what most people may think, creativity is a skill that everyone can learn and hone on. It’s a skill with huge leverage that allows you to generate enormous amounts of value from relatively little input. How is that so? You’ll have to start by expanding your definition of creativity. Ironically, you have to be creative and ‘think out of the box’ with the definition! Creativity at its heart, is being able to see things in a way that others cannot. It’s a skill that helps you find new perspectives to create new possibilities and solutions to different problems. So, if you encounter different challenges and problems that need solving on a regular basis, then creativity is an invaluable skill to have.Let’s say, for example, that you work in sales. Having creativity will help you to look for new ways to approach and reach out to potential customers. Or perhaps you’re a teacher. In this role you have to constantly look for new ways to deliver your message and educate your students.

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How Creativity Works

Let me break another misconception about creativity, which is that it’s only used to create completely “new” or “original” things. Again, this is far from the truth. Because nothing is ever completely new or original. Everything, including works of art, doesn’t come from nothing. Everything derives from some sort of inspiration. That means that creativity works by connecting things together in order to derive new meaning or value.From this perspective, you can see a lot of creativity in action. In technology, Apple combines traditional computers with design and aesthetics to create new ways to use digital products. In music, a musician may be inspired by various styles of music, instruments and rhythms to create an entirely new type of song. All of these examples are about connecting different ideas, finding common ground amongst the differences, and creating a completely new idea out of them.

What Really Is Creativity?

Creativity Needs an Intention

Another misconception about the creative process is that you can just be in a general “creative” state. Real creativity isn’t about coming up with “eureka!” moments for random ideas. Instead, to be truly creative, you need to have a direction. You have to ask yourself this question: “What problem am I trying to solve?” Only by knowing the answer to this question can you start flexing your creativity muscles. Often times, the idea of creativity is associated with the ‘Right’ brain, with intuition and imagination. Hence a lot of focus is placed on the ‘Right’ brain when it comes to creativity. But, to get the most out of creativity, you need to utilize both sides of your brain–Right and Left–which means using the analytical and logical part of your brain, too. This may sound surprising to you, but creativity has a lot to do with problem solving. And, problem solving inherently involves logic and analysis. So instead of throwing out the ‘Left’ brain, full creativity needs them to work in unison. For example, when you’re looking for new ideas, your ‘Left’ brain will guide you to a place of focus, which is based on your objective behind the ideas you’re searching for. The ‘Right’ brain then guides you to gather and explore based on your current focus. And when you decide to try out these new ideas, your ‘Right’ brain will give you novel solutions outside of the ones you already know. Your ‘Left’ brain then helps you evaluate and tune the solutions to work better in practice. So, logic and creativity actually work hand in hand, and not one at the expense of the other.

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Creativity Is a Skill

At the end of the day, creativity is a skill. It’s not some innate or natural born talent that some have over others. What this means is that creativity and innovation can be practiced and improved upon systematically.A skill can be learned and practiced by applying your strongest learning styles. Want to know what your learning style is? Try this test. A skill can be measured and improved through a Feedback Loop, and can be continuously upgraded over time by regular practice. Through regular practice, your creativity goes through different stages of proficiency. This means that you can become more and more creative! If you never thought that creativity was relevant to you, or that you don’t have a knack for being creative… think again! You can use creativity in any aspect of your life. In fact you should use it, as it will allow you to to break through your usual loop, get you out of your comfort zone, and inspire you to grow and try new things. Creativity will definitely give you an edge when you’re trying to solve a problem or come up with new solutions.

Start Connecting the Dots

Excited to start honing your creativity? Here at Lifehack, we’ve got a wealth of knowledge to help you get started. We understand that creativity is a matter of connecting things together in order to derive new meaning or value. So, if you want to learn how to start connecting the dots, check out these tips:

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Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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