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These 5 Things Hold You Back From Success

These 5 Things Hold You Back From Success

So you want to let go of some of the stuff that is holding you back from success?

You can and will make the changes you need to make–and it can be easier than you think.

As a life coach, there is one thing I know for sure: success is relative.  Everything is relative.  We all have different rules and meaning for feeling particular ways.  We must know what our definitions of success are, and we must know key behaviors and points of focus to avoid.

Here is what to let go of if you want to feel better, look better and have a more successful life (in all areas).

1.  Let go of the need to be “right” and get perspective.

I see over and over that the need to be right often destroys relationships and happiness.

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Everyone has a perspective.  You will be surprised that a little validation of someone’s feelings and point of view will take you a long way.

You will feel more supported, loved and have an easier flow in your relationships if you simply let go of the need to be right all the time.

2.  Let go of routine and bring in variety.

Believe it or not, one common pattern that holds people back is routine.

Building good habits can be very productive.  But in life, nothing is constant.  Nothing is permanent.  You must be able to move and go with the flow.  Build that muscle.  It will make you stronger.

The more you get used to variety and become more agile in your nature, the more you can move with the challenges of life.  Trust me, they will come.  Let go of the need to do the same routine and change it up.

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3.  Let go of anger and move through it.

We all pretty much know this one.  Anger leads to illness and it destroys lives.  But anger has a million different faces.

Anger creates separation between you and others.  It also creates separation within yourself.

I know how anger feels and it is not easy to switch off.  You can’t fight anger.  You have to dance with it.  You have to face it and work with it.  Anger can be hidden and show up as passive aggressive behavior, and it can also come out as rage.

One simple rule when it comes to letting go of anger:

When you experience anger, face it and, let it show you what the real message is.  There is something there.  You may not want to see it, but it is a process of awareness and when you move through it, the reward is worth it!

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4.  Let go of that heavy baggage and embrace the present moment.

We only really have what is in front of us now.  The funny thing is that we are pretty much always playing this movie in our minds that has nothing to do with the moment we are in.

We are remembering past memories, fears, creating stories that haven’t even happened yet, and we are somewhere else in our minds most of the time.

You can spend your whole life trying to get rid of baggage.

Or, you can simply bring it back to the moment, every moment.  It’s as simple as that.  Focus on what is in front of you–what is really happening and what you really want in this moment.  Right now.

5.  Let go of resistance and focus on what you want.

Actually, the reality is that there is no way to eliminate stress.  Stress will always be here.  Everyone will experience stress.  The whole world is trying to figure out how to eliminate it and it is a part of life!

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What I really am suggesting here is similar to my point above about baggage.  Let go of that need to hold on to all the “stuff.”

I coach my clients who are under major life stress to first accept, then to strategize and then to take action.  The main thing to let go of here is resistance that you are creating against the thing that you don’t want.

When you experience stress—any stress—what that is really telling you is that you want to move against or away from something.

So start to focus on what you do want.  Bring in the details, the feelings and what you would do if you got it.  Change focus.  If you are stressed about a relationship or a deadline at work, ask yourself what you do want and immediately focus on that.

We are all currently in a process.  Embrace it.  It is for your highest good.  Anything you face— the good, the bad and the ugly are teaching you to be a better, more loving and ultimately more accepting person.

One last point:  There is nothing wrong with you.  Think about all the lessons you have learned in your life.  Some were hard, some came easy and some will take your whole life to learn.  Let go of the judgments you place on other people as they are learning these life lessons—and most importantly the judgment you place on yourself.

I help my coaching clients overcome major life challenges and almost always end up coming back to self-acceptance, self-love and self-connection.  If you are reading this, you are on the right track.  Keep going and let me know how it goes.

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

8 Ways to Train Your Brain to Learn Faster and Remember More

8 Ways to Train Your Brain to Learn Faster and Remember More

You go to the gym to train your muscles. You run outside or go for hikes to train your endurance. Or, maybe you do neither of those, but still wish you exercised more.

Well, here is how to train one of the most important parts of your body: your brain.

When you train your brain, you will:

  • Avoid embarrassing situations. You remember his face, but what was his name?
  • Be a faster learner in all sorts of different skills. No problem for you to pick up a new language or new management skill.
  • Avoid diseases that hit as you get older. Alzheimer’s will not be affecting you.

So how to train your brain and improve your cognitive skills?

1. Work your memory

Twyla Tharp, a NYC-based renowned choreographer has come up with the following memory workout:

When she watches one of her performances, she tries to remember the first twelve to fourteen corrections she wants to discuss with her cast without writing them down.

If you think this is anything less than a feat, then think again. In her book The Creative Habit she says that most people cannot remember more than three.

The practice of both remembering events or things and then discussing them with others has actually been supported by brain fitness studies.

Memory activities that engage all levels of brain operation—receiving, remembering and thinking—help to improve the function of the brain.

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Now, you may not have dancers to correct, but you may be required to give feedback on a presentation, or your friends may ask you what interesting things you saw at the museum. These are great opportunities to practically train your brain by flexing your memory muscles.

What is the simplest way to help yourself remember what you see? Repetition.

For example, say you just met someone new:

“Hi, my name is George”

Don’t just respond with, “Nice to meet you”. Instead, say, “Nice to meet you George.”

Got it? Good.

2. Do something different repeatedly

By actually doing something new over and over again, your brain wires new pathways that help you do this new thing better and faster.

Think back to when you were three years old. You surely were strong enough to hold a knife and a fork just fine. Yet, when you were eating all by yourself, you were creating a mess.

It was not a matter of strength, you see. It was a matter of cultivating more and better neural pathways that would help you eat by yourself just like an adult does.

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And guess what? With enough repetition you made that happen!

But how does this apply to your life right now?

Say you are a procrastinator. The more you don’t procrastinate, the more you teach your brain not to wait for the last minute to make things happen.

Now, you might be thinking “Duh, if only not procrastinating could be that easy!”

Well, it can be. By doing something really small, that you wouldn’t normally do, but is in the direction of getting that task done, you will start creating those new precious neural pathways.

So if you have been postponing organizing your desk, just take one paper and put in its right place. Or, you can go even smaller. Look at one piece of paper and decide where to put it: Trash? Right cabinet? Another room? Give it to someone?

You don’t actually need to clean up that paper; you only need to decide what you need to do with it.

That’s how small you can start. And yet, those neural pathways are still being built. Gradually, you will transform yourself from a procrastinator to an in-the-moment action taker.

3. Learn something new

It might sound obvious, but the more you use your brain, the better its going to perform for you.

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For example, learning a new instrument improves your skill of translating something you see (sheet music) to something you actually do (playing the instrument).

Learning a new language exposes your brain to a different way of thinking, a different way of expressing yourself.

You can even literally take it a step further, and learn how to dance. Studies indicate that learning to dance helps seniors avoid Alzheimer’s. Not bad, huh?

4. Follow a brain training program

The Internet world can help you improve your brain function while lazily sitting on your couch. A clinically proven program like BrainHQ can help you improve your memory, or think faster, by just following their brain training exercises.

5. Work your body

You knew this one was coming didn’t you? Yes indeed, exercise does not just work your body; it also improves the fitness of your brain.

Even briefly exercising for 20 minutes facilitates information processing and memory functions. But it’s not just that–exercise actually helps your brain create those new neural connections faster. You will learn faster, your alertness level will increase, and you get all that by moving your body.

Now, if you are not already a regular exerciser, and already feel guilty that you are not helping your brain by exercising more, try a brain training exercise program like Exercise Bliss.

Remember, just like we discussed in #2, by training your brain to do something new repeatedly, you are actually changing yourself permanently.

6. Spend time with your loved ones

If you want optimal cognitive abilities, then you’ve got to have meaningful relationships in your life.  Talking with others and engaging with your loved ones helps you think more clearly, and it can also lift your mood.

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If you are an extrovert, this holds even more weight for you. At a class at Stanford University, I learned that extroverts actually use talking to other people as a way to understand and process their own thoughts.

I remember that the teacher told us that after a personality test said she was an extrovert, she was surprised. She had always thought of herself as an introvert. But then, she realized how much talking to others helped her frame her own thoughts, so she accepted her new-found status as an extrovert.

7. Avoid crossword puzzles

Many of us, when we think of brain fitness, think of crossword puzzles. And it’s true–crossword puzzles do improve our fluency, yet studies show they are not enough by themselves.

Are they fun? Yes. Do they sharpen your brain? Not really.

Of course, if you are doing this for fun, then by all means go ahead. If you are doing it for brain fitness, then you might want to choose another activity

8. Eat right – and make sure dark chocolate is included

Foods like fish, fruits, and vegetables help your brain perform optimally. Yet, you might not know that dark chocolate gives your brain a good boost as well.

When you eat chocolate, your brain produces dopamine. And dopamine helps you learn faster and remember better. Not to mention, chocolate contains flavonols, antioxidants, which also improve your brain functions.

So next time you have something difficult to do, make sure you grab a bite or two of dark chocolate!

The bottom line

Now that you know how to train your brain, it’s actually time to start doing.

Don’t just consume this content and then go on with your life as if nothing has changed. Put this knowledge into action and become smarter than ever!

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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