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Have A Confident Mindset In A Way Most People Don’t Know

Have A Confident Mindset In A Way Most People Don’t Know

Being a confident person has a lot of benefits at work and at play. It can make you feel and be more successful. Showing you are confident starts with having and cultivating a mindset of confidence.

1. Be honest

Sometimes we wear a mask with others, or keep our guard up, which means people never get to know who we really are or what’s important to us. If you are a manager or leader,  that can make you seem distant or ambiguous, and can cause anxiety among your team. Being honest about yourself helps to open people up to you and your point of view. You appear to be what you are – a human being with flaws just like everyone else. Expressing your true thoughts can make people like you more, or at least know where you stand, because you have the confidence to show your authentic self. This doesn’t mean sharing your intimate secrets, or being overly personal. It means sharing what’s relevant in the context and being open to criticism and challenge from others on your views. To do that, and to accept it, you need to be confident.

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2. Express your ideas

Sharing your views on something isn’t about speaking louder or longer than others. It’s about providing thoughtful input to conversations. If you don’t know what you think, take time to figure it out. You don’t get points for speaking out, and sometimes saying things just to participate can hurt you, if you have to live with those ideas later. Don’t worry about what other people might say, or how they might react to your views. Share with others what you think the best approach is to solving problems or creating new programs or systems, and ask for feedback. Sometimes it takes one confident person to start the ball rolling. Why not you?

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3. Be Brave

Take on new challenges, even if they seem daunting, and do it with an open mind. Some things we try, even those we are passionate about, just don’t work out. But if we don’t explore new areas, or try new things, we can get in a rut that’s hard to get out of. By achieving new things, we build our confidence, and that comes through loud and clear when you convey ideas and approaches that make sense to others.

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4. Think Positive

If we have a negative mindset about things that worry or scare us, we can’t function confidently. We can get stuck on the negative possibilities, and that leads us to second guess our decisions, or not make recommendations at all. Being negative and talking about all the things that could go wrong will make others afraid and concerned about  the potential success of a new venture as well. Whether you are contributing to something as part of a team, or leading it, think about and write down all the positive outcomes that are possible and share those with others. It will make you feel more confident, and others will as well. That confidence can lead to brainstorming and greater chance of success. When people bring up potential negative outcomes or consequences, try to figure out how they could be avoided, or transformed into positive ones. Lead the discussion in that direction and watch others get on board.

5. Feel Good

Taking care of yourself is a major part of feeling confident. It’s not about having the latest gadget, or fashion item, it’s about feeling well and likely yourself. Some people enjoy exercising daily, others less often. Some people avoid sweets and others follow strict diets, all to be healthy. Whatever approach you take to eating, exercise, and dressing, if you look in the mirror and like yourself, you will convey that to others. Being confident is a state of mind which comes across to others in how you communicate, and that means how you present yourself to the world as well as what you say. Being kind to yourself is a powerful thing and can make you feel more confident to take on the challenges of everyday life, and hair raising times of stress.

Featured photo credit: Hands tear a paper with text via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on February 19, 2019

How to Break Bad Habits: I Broke 3 Bad Habits in Less Than 2 Months

How to Break Bad Habits: I Broke 3 Bad Habits in Less Than 2 Months

The cycle of bad habits is what keeps us living small and stops us from reaching our true potential. Breaking a bad habit isn’t as hard as it seems; despite being a CEO of a company and raising two children, I still managed to break 3 bad habits I had within 2 months. Yes, that’s quitting one habit in less than 21 days.

I took steps to eliminate them one at a time. Habits such as drinking Coke every day, slouching when sitting and not having a consistent exercise routine.

So how did I break these habits? I used the Control Alternate Delete Method (Ctrl Alt Del).

What is this method and why is it so effective? Read on to find out how to break bad habits with this unique method.

How to break bad habits with the Control Alternate Delete Method

    We all notice on some level what our bad habits are. A lot of the time we choose to ignore the negative ways these impact us.

    For me, I was sitting most of the day in front of my computer at work in a slouching position. I drank Coke every single day in an attempt to stay awake. I put off any kind of exercise regime because I felt that it was better to just relax and have fun after a whole day of work. As a result, I was leading a really unhealthy lifestyle suffering from weight gain and back pain.

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    I needed to make a change.

    I started to read books about building habits such as The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, The One Thing by Gary W. Keller and Jay Papasan, and The Now Habit by Neil Fiore. After reading all these books, I’ve come up with my own method to quit bad habits — The Ctrl Alt Del Method.

    I started by focusing on just one bad habit, the first one being the sheer amount of Coke I was consuming each day.

    Every day I applied the Ctrl Alt Del Method and after two weeks, not only did I stop drinking Coke every day (I only drank one can in 2 weeks), but I started the better habit of drinking 8 glasses of water every day instead.

    After eliminating one bad habit, I moved on to the other two with this same method and a month later I was:

    • Hitting the gym twice a week.
    • Improving my sitting posture, not only at the office but also at home and everywhere else, improving my back pain.
    • Gaining core muscle which improved my back pain as well.
    • Losing fat around my waist which went from 36″ (considered obese level) to 32″ (normal level).

    If I can improve my life using this method, then so can you. Using this structure to eliminate your bad habits will increase your success and replace your bad habits with more positive ones.

    Control: Master your desire

      Identify your triggers

      Bad habits such as drinking alcohol, smoking and snacking too much trigger the release of dopamine, a feel-good chemical in the brain.[1] Although you might not like the end result, they give you a positive outcome in the moment. This is pure psychology.

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      It’s important to identify what is triggering you to continually act out your bad habit. This isn’t always an easy step because our habits have been built up over a long period of time.

      If you need help in identifying your triggers, here’s a list of common bad habits and their triggers: 13 Bad Habits You Need to Quit Right Away

      Self-reflect

      To help you work out your triggers, do a bit of self-reflection. Ask yourself questions such as:

      • What comfort are you getting from this habit?
      • Why do you need comfort?

      For example, I chose to drink coke because it tasted good and it made me feel good when I was stressed. I slouched only when I sat for too long working on my desk and started to feel tired. I skipped exercises because every day after work I felt I already did enough works and didn’t want to work out.

      If you choose to eat fast food every night, you’re probably telling yourself you’re too busy to cook. But ask yourself why? What are your priorities?

      Maybe you have a lack of self-worth that means you don’t have the self-love to want to look after your health. Perhaps it’s a sign you’re not making enough time for important routines like shopping and creating a healthy meal yourself. Maybe you’ve always had a belief that you’re a bad cook.

      Write a diary

      Write down your thoughts and feelings around this bad habit. Writing things down forces the brain to think harder.[2] This helps you to find the source to your stress or limiting negative beliefs.

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      Alternate: Find a replacement

        Find a positive alternative habit

        Once you think you’ve discovered your trigger, try to find a similar but healthy option. This is where I replaced Coke with lemon water; slouching with simply taking a walk and stretching my back every hour; and chilling at home after work with workout exercises that I actually found fun.

        You could decide to walk to the office instead of driving or getting off the bus earlier to walk. You could switch to a healthier breakfast cereal instead of grabbing a sugary snack when you head out of the door.

        By doing this, you aren’t getting rid of the act altogether like you would if you completely gave something up with nothing to fill that void. This helps your brain accept the improved habit more.

        Create a defence plan

        Everyone has moments of weakness and that want to revert back to the bad habit will rear its ugly head. This is where a plan can help counteract these moments.

        Think of things you can do when the temptations come. For example, if you want to check your phone less, ask your friend or partner to keep it for you or switch it off and read a book. If you’re a starter for an exercise routine, like me, get someone to do it with you to keep you accountable.

        Decide on something you will do once you feel triggered to go back to your old habit. Repeating these positive alternative habits consistently will help wire your brain to see them as your normal new habit over time.

        Delete: Remove temptations

          Remove stuff that reminds you of the bad habit

          Getting rid of anything that reminds you of your bad habit is essential. For example, I got rid of coke in my office and at home and replaced my usual office chair with an exercise ball. It makes it much easier to stop slipping back in a weak moment.

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          Avoid all kinds of temptations

          In the same vein, avoid places or people that you know will tempt you back into that bad habit. Don’t go to the supermarket on an empty stomach to avoid the temptation to buy trashy snacks, don’t drive past that fast food joint but find an alternative route instead, say no more often to the friend you know will get you drunk again this weekend.

          It’s all about not putting yourself in the situation where you’re in danger of relapsing.

          Conclusion

          The Control Alternate Delete Method uses the right steps you need to overcome your need to indulge in your bad habits. Working with your core psychology, emotions and feelings behind your actions is what makes this method effective and easy to apply to all bad habits you have.

          Bad habits are easy to form and making changes can seem difficult but remember that it’s all about consistency and repetition.

          Start using the Control Alternate Delete Method today and you can stop a bad habit permanently.

          What bad habit do you want to put a stop to once and for all? You must set aside time and pick one bad habit to focus on. Start using the steps to increase and maintain more positivity in your life moving forward.

          More Resources About Changing Habits

          Featured photo credit: Picjumbo via picjumbo.com

          Reference

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