Advertising
Advertising

Have A Confident Mindset In A Way Most People Don’t Know

Have A Confident Mindset In A Way Most People Don’t Know

Being a confident person has a lot of benefits at work and at play. It can make you feel and be more successful. Showing you are confident starts with having and cultivating a mindset of confidence.

1. Be honest

Sometimes we wear a mask with others, or keep our guard up, which means people never get to know who we really are or what’s important to us. If you are a manager or leader,  that can make you seem distant or ambiguous, and can cause anxiety among your team. Being honest about yourself helps to open people up to you and your point of view. You appear to be what you are – a human being with flaws just like everyone else. Expressing your true thoughts can make people like you more, or at least know where you stand, because you have the confidence to show your authentic self. This doesn’t mean sharing your intimate secrets, or being overly personal. It means sharing what’s relevant in the context and being open to criticism and challenge from others on your views. To do that, and to accept it, you need to be confident.

Advertising

2. Express your ideas

Sharing your views on something isn’t about speaking louder or longer than others. It’s about providing thoughtful input to conversations. If you don’t know what you think, take time to figure it out. You don’t get points for speaking out, and sometimes saying things just to participate can hurt you, if you have to live with those ideas later. Don’t worry about what other people might say, or how they might react to your views. Share with others what you think the best approach is to solving problems or creating new programs or systems, and ask for feedback. Sometimes it takes one confident person to start the ball rolling. Why not you?

Advertising

3. Be Brave

Take on new challenges, even if they seem daunting, and do it with an open mind. Some things we try, even those we are passionate about, just don’t work out. But if we don’t explore new areas, or try new things, we can get in a rut that’s hard to get out of. By achieving new things, we build our confidence, and that comes through loud and clear when you convey ideas and approaches that make sense to others.

Advertising

4. Think Positive

If we have a negative mindset about things that worry or scare us, we can’t function confidently. We can get stuck on the negative possibilities, and that leads us to second guess our decisions, or not make recommendations at all. Being negative and talking about all the things that could go wrong will make others afraid and concerned about  the potential success of a new venture as well. Whether you are contributing to something as part of a team, or leading it, think about and write down all the positive outcomes that are possible and share those with others. It will make you feel more confident, and others will as well. That confidence can lead to brainstorming and greater chance of success. When people bring up potential negative outcomes or consequences, try to figure out how they could be avoided, or transformed into positive ones. Lead the discussion in that direction and watch others get on board.

Advertising

5. Feel Good

Taking care of yourself is a major part of feeling confident. It’s not about having the latest gadget, or fashion item, it’s about feeling well and likely yourself. Some people enjoy exercising daily, others less often. Some people avoid sweets and others follow strict diets, all to be healthy. Whatever approach you take to eating, exercise, and dressing, if you look in the mirror and like yourself, you will convey that to others. Being confident is a state of mind which comes across to others in how you communicate, and that means how you present yourself to the world as well as what you say. Being kind to yourself is a powerful thing and can make you feel more confident to take on the challenges of everyday life, and hair raising times of stress.

Featured photo credit: Hands tear a paper with text via shutterstock.com

Advertising

More by this author

Job Applicant 12 Things Job Applicants Should Stop Doing Have A Confident Mindset In A Way Most People Don’t Know Top 10 Interviewing Tips to Hire the Best Talent Job Interivew 5 Things to Watch out for about Your Potential Boss in a Job Interview 10 Things You Should and Shouldn’t Say in a Salary Negotiation

Trending in Productivity

1 5 Values of an Effective Leader 2 How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them 3 The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work) 4 30 Practical Ideas to Create Your Best Morning Routine 5 Is People Management the Right Career Path for You?

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 21, 2021

The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)

The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)

No matter how well you set up your todo list and calendar, you aren’t going to get things done unless you have a reliable way of reminding yourself to actually do them.

Anyone who’s spent an hour writing up the perfect grocery list only to realize at the store that they forgot to bring the list understands the importance of reminders.

Reminders of some sort or another are what turn a collection of paper goods or web services into what David Allen calls a “trusted system.”[1]

A lot of people resist getting better organized. No matter what kind of chaotic mess, their lives are on a day-to-day basis because they know themselves well enough to know that there’s after all that work they’ll probably forget to take their lists with them when it matters most.

Fortunately, there are ways to make sure we remember to check our lists — and to remember to do the things we need to do, whether they’re on a list or not.

In most cases, we need a lot of pushing at first, for example by making a reminder, but eventually we build up enough momentum that doing what needs doing becomes a habit — not an exception.

Advertising

From Creating Reminders to Building Habits

A habit is any act we engage in automatically without thinking about it.

For example, when you brush your teeth, you don’t have to think about every single step from start to finish; once you stagger up to the sink, habit takes over (and, really, habit got you to the sink in the first place) and you find yourself putting toothpaste on your toothbrush, putting the toothbrush in your mouth (and never your ear!), spitting, rinsing, and so on without any conscious effort at all.

This is a good thing because if you’re anything like me, you’re not even capable of conscious thought when you’re brushing your teeth.

The good news is you already have a whole set of productivity habits you’ve built up over the course of your life. The bad news is, a lot of them aren’t very good habits.

That quick game Frogger to “loosen you up” before you get working, that always ends up being 6 hours of Frogger –– that’s a habit. And as you know, habits like that can be hard to break — which is one of the reasons why habits are so important in the first place.

Once you’ve replaced an unproductive habit with a more productive one, the new habit will be just as hard to break as the old one was. Getting there, though, can be a chore!

Advertising

The old saw about anything you do for 21 days becoming a habit has been pretty much discredited, but there is a kernel of truth there — anything you do long enough becomes an ingrained behavior, a habit. Some people pick up habits quickly, others over a longer time span, but eventually, the behaviors become automatic.

Building productive habits, then, is a matter of repeating a desired behavior over a long enough period of time that you start doing it without thinking.

But how do you remember to do that? And what about the things that don’t need to be habits — the one-off events, like taking your paycheck stubs to your mortgage banker or making a particular phone call?

The trick to reminding yourself often enough for something to become a habit, or just that one time that you need to do something, is to interrupt yourself in some way in a way that triggers the desired behavior.

The Wonderful Thing About Triggers — Reminders

A trigger is anything that you put “in your way” to remind you to do something. The best triggers are related in some way to the behavior you want to produce.

For instance, if you want to remember to take something to work that you wouldn’t normally take, you might place it in front of the door so you have to pick it up to get out of your house.

Advertising

But anything that catches your attention and reminds you to do something can be a trigger. An alarm clock or kitchen timer is a perfect example — when the bell rings, you know to wake up or take the quiche out of the oven. (Hopefully you remember which trigger goes with which behavior!)

If you want to instill a habit, the thing to do is to place a trigger in your path to remind you to do whatever it is you’re trying to make into a habit — and keep it there until you realize that you’ve already done the thing it’s supposed to remind you of.

For instance, a post-it saying “count your calories” placed on the refrigerator door (or maybe on your favorite sugary snack itself)  can help you remember that you’re supposed to be cutting back — until one day you realize that you don’t need to be reminded anymore.

These triggers all require a lot of forethought, though — you have to remember that you need to remember something in the first place.

For a lot of tasks, the best reminder is one that’s completely automated — you set it up and then forget about it, trusting the trigger to pop up when you need it.

How to Make a Reminder Works for You

Computers and ubiquity of mobile Internet-connected devices make it possible to set up automatic triggers for just about anything.

Advertising

Desktop software like Outlook will pop up reminders on your desktop screen, and most online services go an extra step and send reminders via email or SMS text message — just the thing to keep you on track. Sandy, for example, just does automatic reminders.

Automated reminders can help you build habits — but it can also help you remember things that are too important to be trusted even to habit. Diabetics who need to take their insulin, HIV patients whose medication must be taken at an exact time in a precise order, phone calls that have to be made exactly on time, and other crucial events require triggers even when the habit is already in place.

My advice is to set reminders for just about everything — have them sent to your mobile phone in some way (either through a built-in calendar or an online service that sends updates) so you never have to think about it — and never have to worry about forgetting.

Your weekly review is a good time to enter new reminders for the coming weeks or months. I simply don’t want to think about what I’m supposed to be doing; I want to be reminded so I can think just about actually doing it.

I tend to use my calendar for reminders, mostly, though I do like Sandy quite a bit.

More on Building Habits

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

Advertising

Reference

[1] Getting Things Done: Trusted System

Read Next