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9 Reasons You Never Get What You Want

9 Reasons You Never Get What You Want

Welcome to the leading edge!

First of all, let me congratulate you. By asking the question, “Why do I never get what I want?” you have already started moving toward everything you want. You are challenging the cultural premise that says, “I don’t deserve it,” or “I should be content with the mediocre life that I have,” or “only smart/rich/genius people deserve that stuff.” You should have everything you want! You should feel good! You do deserve good things! And you have acknowledged that what you’ve been doing so far isn’t working, which means that you are open to suggestions about what will work. This puts you ahead of at least 75% of the human population. Welcome to the leading edge!

Nine Reasons That You Don’t Get What You Want

1. You’re satisfied with mediocrity.

We all receive messages from many sources: parents, friends, churches, movies, TV shows, the news… messages that tell us we should be nice, well-behaved consumers who are satisfied with mediocrity and don’t try to stray too far from it. But this doesn’t mean that YOU have to be satisfied with mediocrity. If you have a few minutes, take the time to watch this video by Randy Gage, in which he points out the

“mind viruses” that are fed to you by movies.

2. You say “I can’t.”

These two words, and their cousins “I have to,” should be eliminated from all languages everywhere. These are loser words. Victim words. As soon as you think or say “I can’t,” before you’ve even gotten to “because,”  you’ve already given all of your power away, and the more words you put after “because,” the faster your power is fleeing from you.

Replace “I can’t” with “I could if I wanted to.” Replace “I have to” with “I am doing this because…”

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If those replacements don’t work for you, there are plenty of other words to choose from. According to the Global Language Monitor, as of January 1, 2014, there were 1,025,109.8 words in the English language. Have fun. But don’t say “I can’t” or “I have to,” ever again. Period.

3. You complain about never getting what you want.

Every time we want something, we are also keenly aware of its absence. As Abraham says in this short video, “Every subject is really two subjects.” There is the problem, which is the lack of what you want. For instance, the lack of money —  and there is the solution, which is what you want — more money.

Instead of joining in your friends’ conversations about being poor, lonely, fat or sick, excuse yourself and go daydream for five minutes. What would it be like to be rich? What kind of car would you drive? What kind of house would you live in? What would it be like to be in a great relationship? What would you do together? What would you talk about? If you had a perfect body, what would you wear? How would other people respond to you? What would your perfect job feel like?

4. You hate rich / skinny / successful / healthy / happy / attractive people.

Jealousy is a colossal waste of time and energy. Worse, it keeps you from getting what you want, because if you get rich, a great-looking body, or a relationship that curls your toes… you’re going to look a whole lot like the very people you hate. And then what are you going to do, hate yourself? That’s pretty messed up!

Instead of hating these people, study them! They’ve figured out how to get what you want! If you can figure out how they got it, and you do the same thing, then you can have it, too. They’re giving you a gift foolish not to accept.

“When the success of another makes your heart sing, your resistance is gone, and your own success soars.”
— Abraham Hicks

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5. You only talk about it / haven’t actually done anything about it / think reading about it is enough.

Don’t get me wrong; dreaming, reading, talking (to the right people) is great! All of these actions make you feel super inspired, and this place of inspiration is the best platform from which to launch inspired, productive action.

If you’ve found a perfect diet, a perfect fitness routine, a perfect person, a perfect job, a perfect business opportunity, act! You may never get this opportunity again! Don’t wait until Sunday because it’s a new week. Throw caution to the winds, and take that first step. If you’re hesitating, what’s holding you back? Is it that…

6. You worry about what others think.

If you decide that you’re going to do whatever it takes to fulfill your dreams, sooner or later you’re going to start looking and acting like those rich, skinny, successful people that people hate. And guess what? This means that some people are going to start hating YOU, and some of these people are going to be friends, family and other people you love and care about. Let’s take a minute to truly look at this one, because I have a feeling that it is behind a lot of hesitation for many people.

Your loved ones probably don’t mean you any harm, but some of them may — consciously or unconsciously — try to sabotage you, to keep you down on their level, to make sure they don’t lose connection with you. They might ridicule your moneymaking ideas or your new boyfriend or girlfriend, or bring you doughnuts while you’re on your new diet, or try to talk you into going to the bar instead of going to the gym.

At some point, if you find their antics too distracting, you may have to make a difficult choice. Do you want to give up your dreams, say “I’m sorry,” and stuff yourself back into your old mediocre box to keep them happy? Or do you want to risk alienating them to fulfill your dreams?

You might be tempted to try to bring them up to your level, to talk them into joining you on your journey toward success. I did this for a long time. But unless they want to join you, your attempts to drag them along are going to fail, and in the process, you’ll end up exhausted.

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The good news is, as you become more successful, you will find out who your real friends are, and you’ll attract new friends who support you. These friends will be ecstatic when you tell them that you’ve made your first million dollars, or that you’ve achieved 10% body fat and look fantastic, or that you are completely healed from your disease and have started running again, or that you have found your soul mate and are blissfully in love. These people are keepers.

7. You’re afraid to suck.

This goes back to being worried about what other people think. Remember, everyone was a beginner: Olympic athletes, top-notch musicians, even you. Remember your first day at work? That deer-in-the-headlights feeling? Remember how many mistakes you made? But you didn’t remain a beginner, did you? You got better at what you were doing.

Babies aren’t born with ripped, perfect bodies, fabulous relationships, or checking accounts full of dollars. Self-made millionaires, entrepreneurs, musicians, bodybuilders, married people — everyone had to start from ground zero. And in the beginning, everyone sucked. They started businesses that folded. They tried diets and training programs that didn’t work. They got involved in horrible relationships. Thomas Edison “failed” 10,000 times before he came up with a light bulb that worked. If you try something and it doesn’t work, try something different. But don’t give up your dream.

“Every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.”
— Napoleon Hill, Think And Grow Rich.

8. You think getting what you want happens overnight.

Do you know what happens to most people who win the lottery or lose lots of weight in a short period of time? They spend all of the money, they put the weight back on, and they wind up back — or worse off than — where they started. Being an overnight success is like being plunged into the deep end of a pool without learning how to swim first. It’s why people like Susan Boyle and Justin Bieber had such a tough time adjusting to becoming overnight sensations; it was too much, too fast. They didn’t get to be beginners.

In most cases, it takes 1 to 2 years for an average person build a ripped body, unless he or she puts in exceptional effort. It takes from 2-5 years for a new business to start turning a profit; more than that to actually generate enough income to live on. Success doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time for our bodies to adjust to a new shape, and it takes time for our minds to adjust to a new way of thinking.

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Once you’ve decided that nothing is more important than your dreams, don’t give up. Stick with it. The payoff will be the manifestation of your dreams, your ability to inspire others to manifest theirs, and, believe it or not, taking the whole human species with you to the next level. You can do it.

9. You decide it’s too hard and quit before you get what you want.

There’s no doubt about it; manifesting your dreams can take a lot of hard work. Whether your dream is starting a business, being in a long-term relationship, having a great-looking, great-feeling body, or changing your outlook on life, sometimes you have to make sacrifices to get there.

When you’re working 60 or more hours a week on your new business and are slowly falling behind on the bills; when you’re exhausted from a late night and the last thing you want to do is get up early and work out; when you and your new partner are fighting again about the same dumb thing you fought about the last time, remember: you aren’t just sacrificing; you’re investing. Just like an investor, you’re setting aside your mental and emotional capital in order to gain wonderful things in the long term. Just hang in there.

Featured photo credit: Freedom/Kathryn via flickr.com

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Last Updated on November 13, 2018

Do You Want to Know the Secret to Living a Fulfilling Life?

Do You Want to Know the Secret to Living a Fulfilling Life?

Don’t we all want to live a full, happy and satisfied life? For some of us, it need not be a long life as long as it’s been a fulfilling life of achievements, happiness and no regrets. But, how many of us actually go on to experience that entirely? It sometimes sounds more like a pipe dream–a fantasy rather than reality.

And then you’ll also get comments from some, saying that this ‘fulfilling life’ is only possible if you’re so rich that you don’t have to care about working, paying the bills or providing for your family. While there is some truth to that, I’m happy to say that financial freedom isn’t the only answer to living a fulfilling life.

Living a Fulfilling Life is Within Reach

Anyone can pursue a life of fullness, and it all starts with the willingness to learn. How many years has it been since you last attended a class in school? If you’re well into your adult years as a working professional, chances are it’s been a while. Do you remember the times where you had to wake up for early morning lectures? Or the times where you were rushing through a paper or project? And, of course there were the endless exams that you had to cram for.

As a young college student, I remember looking forward to the time when I would finally be done with school! No more homework, no more grades to worry about, no more stress! The learning was finally done and I could enter the working world.

Not so much!

Now that I’ve finally entered the working world, there are moments where I do wish to be a student again; it seemed less stressful then!

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There is simply so much out there that I still need to learn and experience. Yet I find myself pressed for time. With family commitments, my business and my own social life to juggle, I’ve had to keep on finding for new ways to learn and absorb new information efficiently. Over the years, I’ve found that by learning new skills and knowledge, I was able to find answers and solutions to my problems, which allowed me to achieve a greater sense of fulfillment.

Learning Never Ends

The truth is, learning never ends. Generally speaking, it is true that a formal education and the resulting qualifications are important in securing good jobs; jobs that allow you to excel, earn more and perhaps become more successful in our chosen career. But going to school is only one type of learning. All throughout your life, you’re learning in many ways. All these experiences shape and grow you into the person that you are today.

There are many opportunities to further your knowledge and develop the skills you need throughout life. Knowledge can be acquired and skill-sets can be developed anywhere. However, lifelong learning is about creating and maintaining a positive attitude to learning both for personal and professional development.

Many people overlook the fact that learning can take place anywhere and in many forms. Most would tend to think of learning as the years spent in a learning institute, which occurs mostly in their younger days. And once you go out into the working world, your ‘learning’ ends.

This is not how it has to be–in fact, lifelong learning is a gift that keeps on giving.

The Importance of Lifelong Learning

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Why is it important to become a lifelong learner?

A lifelong learner is motivated to learn and develop because they want to; it is a deliberate and voluntary act. Lifelong learning can enhance our understanding of the world around us, provide us with more and better opportunities, and improve our quality of life.

You’ll Remain Relevant in the Workplace

With advancements in society today, the human life expectancy continues to increase, which means more people are also retiring at a later age. So no matter what stage of life you’re in, being a lifelong learner brings its own rewards. It means we can get more personal satisfaction from our lives and jobs as we understand more about who we are and what we do.

This can lead to better results and a more rewarding working day in turn. Whether it’s for advancing your career, a personal interest or wanting to pursue new dreams, learning automatically pushes you forward towards progress and enhances your wellbeing.

You’ll Increase Your Earning Potential

From a financial point of view, a more highly skilled and knowledgeable worker is an asset to any company. This also leads to faster promotion with associated salary increases.

Someone who can offer more expertise will be of more value not just to employers but also to customers. Expertise is also, often, a key quality of an effective leader.

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And since you’ll constantly be accumulating knowledge, you’ll have an edge on those who don’t value lifelong learning and can’t bring as much to the table. Your extra knowledge will translate into transferable skills, which means you’ll always be primed to blow the competition out of the water.

Learning Gives You Options

Of course, one of the most rewarding reasons for continuous learning, is that it gives you options! Successfully changing career path in mid-life and spending time informally developing expertise is more common than ever, especially during rapidly changing market conditions.

Whatever your age, it’s never too late to start fresh in life. When you start educating yourself and exposing yourself to new knowledge and information, you widen your opportunities. This will allow you to do more than what you may currently be doing, or give you a way out if you’re not happy or fulfilled with where you’re at now.

Our economy is shifting increasingly towards short-term and part-time contracts with more flexible work-patterns. We have to adapt to changes going on in the work-world, make more of ourselves by stepping out of our comfort zones, and break the false ideas about our potential and how we believe life is going.

Gain More with Cornerstone Skills

You may be well into your career, but feel like somehow, something is still missing. Or maybe you’re not entirely happy with where you’re at in your career path and feel it’s time to reflect and perhaps do something new. Or you might be thinking of retiring soon, and thinking about next steps after retirement.

The learning never needs to stop!

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This can be your chance to go after a dream or interest that you’ve always had (but never had the opportunity, or time, to pursue). This could finally be the time for you to create the change that you know you should have made ages ago.

Why not take the first step to learn about 7 important Cornerstone Skills, which will help take your life to the next stage?

Whatever situation you’re in, having these 7 Cornerstone Skills will no doubt equip you to tackle the challenges of life much more efficiently. Don’t let age, your limitations or a comfort zone stop you from seeking greater rewards and self-improvement.

Transformation and change is in your hands–you have the power to make big things happen, and we can help teach you the skills. Don’t let life pass you by! It’s time to pursue a fulfilling and happy life.

Featured photo credit: Artem Bali via unsplash.com

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