“Stop lying to yourself. When we deny our own truth, we deny our own potential.”
We all make excuses and tell ourselves lies to avoid success. I should add, we do that to avoid the challenge, the blood, the sweat, and the tears. It is really taking the easy way out but that is denying us the chance of fame and power. The lies are barriers to achievement and fulfillment. Here are 9 lies that you probably tell yourself to avoid success.
1. I must never fail
People are afraid of failure. They are right. It ruins everything. You tell yourself that failure is not on the agenda.
The truth is that all the greatest entrepreneurs know about failure. They have all experienced it, although they may not talk much about it. But those who do all have one message. Failure was a learning experience.
Just look at J.K. Rowling, the creator of the Harry Potter books. She was at one point suicidal as she feared she could not make enough money to feed her children! Yet, she persisted and now she has sold over 400 million books and is the second richest woman in the UK. Think of each setback as a building block to success.
Richard Branson has a string of failed projects to his name. Just think of Virgin Cola, Virgin Cards, Virgin Clothes, Virgin Vie and Virgin Vodka!Advertising
“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
2. I just need a lucky break
As you tell yourself this, you visualize success. The problem is that the chances of this lucky break happening are about the same as winning the lottery. There is another issue here. You are deceiving yourself in thinking that the winners have always had it easy and have never had to struggle. They got lucky and they never had to deal with grinding poverty, unfair competition, and backbreaking hard work.
The reality is a lot different. It takes nerve, determination, persistence, and a vision to succeed. The lucky break may come but waiting around is not going to make that happen.
“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.”
3. I do not have the courage
You are basically scared and are not prepared to make that courageous leap. You lie to yourself that fear is holding you back. If you are a manager, you may be avoiding staff problems because of a lack of courage. Your business may suffer. When you are in a relationship, fear may hold you back from expressing your real feelings and emotions. You may lose your partner because of this.
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.”
4. I must do everything myself
If you deceive yourself about this, you will never be able to surround yourself with top level team members who will really make a difference. If you persist in this, you are likely to end up micromanaging. You will never be able to delegate because you do not know the skill set of each of your team members. You will never win their loyalty, trust, and confidence. This does not only apply to your team but also to all your business contacts. This is one of the reasons why Richard Branson is a regular attendee at the World Economic Forum in Davos.
“To be successful in business, you need to connect and collaborate and delegate.”
5. I must wait for the right moment
You think that there will be the perfect niche and you will know when to pounce on it to make it into a roaring success. You just have to wait until the time is right and you keep putting things off.
If Gutenberg had persisted in that belief we would never have had the printing press. Nobody wanted books then!
“Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.”
6. I am not clever enough
So you think that successful people are really intelligent? You might be shocked to know that their IQ accounts for only about 25% of their success. The other 75% is due to their ability to network, their optimism, and their emotional intelligence.Advertising
If you are telling yourself this lie, try to assess what your networking abilities and EQ are before beating yourself up about your lack of intelligence or formal qualifications. Common sense and social interaction skills will beat an MBA any day of the week.
“Hope is a talent like any other.”
7. I haven’t got the right personality
If you think that personality is so important, think again! Look at the greatest success stories on this planet. Bill Gates is an introvert, Barack Obama has been described as aloof while Mark Zuckerberg is shy.
There are some fascinating insights into the personalities of people who have had enormous success. Susan Cain’s book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. is well worth a read.
Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, measure your self-esteem. This is what really counts.
“He is shy and introverted and he often does not seem very warm to people who don’t know him, but he is warm,”
-Sheryl Sandberg talking about Zuckerberg to The New York Times.
8. I never have enough money
You probably lie to yourself that all these successful people had loads of money to start with so they had it real easy. But throwing money at a project is not going to make it work. Instead of blaming the lack of funding, think of all the other factors that can make a project work. This may include planning, setting goals and objectives, team building, just to mention a few.
“The manager who comes up with the right solution to the wrong problem is more dangerous than the manager who comes up with the wrong solution to the right problem.”
9. I know what works so I will continue with that
This is a fallacy because it can lead to stagnation. It is a dangerous lie too. The world is changing every minute. There are implications for your competitors and your markets. It also reduces your possibility of saving money on a more efficient solution or at looking at innovation. This is the dynamism of the business world. If you get stuck in a rut, you will never achieve success.
We have seen that success rarely falls into the lap of a person, unless they are born into a rich family. Even that is not a guarantee of achievement. The above examples show that determination, persistence, courage and vision are what really count in success. Time to stop lying to ourselves.
“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.”
Featured photo credit: Lies/Ged Carroll via flickr.comAdvertising
Last Updated on July 16, 2020
How Does Setting Goals Lead to Success?
As well as being the founder of Lifehack, I also help people on a one-to-one basis through life coaching.
I’ve been doing this for more than 10 years now and have helped hundreds of clients reevaluate their lives and turn inertia into progress and failure into success.
A common theme I’ve noticed with many of my clients is that they don’t have any definite goals to aim towards.
This has always surprised me, as goal setting is frequently recommended by self-improvement gurus, performance coaches, and business leaders. It’s also something that I learned at university and have implemented successfully in my life ever since.
If you’re similar to the majority of my life coaching clients and you don’t have any definite goals to aim for, then you’re missing out on what is probably the most powerful personal success technique on the planet.
The good news is—you’ve come to the right place for help with this.
In this article, I’ll explain exactly what goal-setting is and how you can put it into action in your life. As you’ll discover, it’s a key that can open many doors for you.
An Introduction to Goal Setting
Goals can be big, small, short-term, long-term, essential, or desirable. But they all share one thing: They will give you something to aim for.
This is important. As just like a ship without a destination, if you have no goals, you’ll end drifting aimlessly.
Goals give you purpose. They also give you drive and enthusiasm. In other words—they make you feel alive!
If you’ve never spent time setting goals before, then here’s what I recommend you to do:
- Take some time to evaluate all areas of your life (health, career, family, etc.).
- Determine which of these areas need a boost.
- Think of ways in which to achieve this (for example, if you want to boost your health, you could eat less and exercise more).
- Set some definite goals that you would like to achieve.
- Write down these goals, including the date you want to accomplish them by.
Now, before you get started on the above, I want to make one thing clear: Goals are not wishful thinking!
By this, I mean that while your goals should be ambitious, they shouldn’t be unrealistic or verging into fantasy land.
For example, wanting to be promoted at work would be a realistic goal while wanting to be President of the United States might not be. (Of course, feel free to prove me wrong!)
If you’re new to the world of goal setting, then I’d recommend you start with easy-to-achieve goals. These could be things such as eating a healthy breakfast, walking more, taking regular breaks from your screen, and sleeping early.
These simple goals might take you a month or so to achieve, including making the daily practices a habit.
Once you’ve successfully accomplished these goals, you’ll find your self-confidence grows, and you’ll be ready to set yourself some bigger goals.
Here are a few examples that you might want to choose or adapt to your personal circumstances:
- Run a marathon
- Buy a new car
- Learn a new language
- Travel around the world
- Change career
- Retire early
- Write a book
I’m sure you can think of many more things that you would like to achieve. As the famous Shakespeare line neatly states: “The world is your oyster!”
Now, the trick with big goals (as I’ll show in an example shortly) is to break them down into small, bite-sized chunks. This means you’ll have a big end goal, with smaller goals (sometimes referred to as objectives) helping you to gradually achieve your main aim.
When you do this, you’ll make big goals more achievable. Plus, you’ll have an easy way to track how far along the road to your goal you are at any given point in time.
Let’s see this in action…
Going from an Idea to a Global Success
Everything starts with an idea.
And there appears to be no shortage of good ideas in the world. But there is a shortage of people willing to put these ideas into action!
This is the essential step that will move you from being a dreamer to an achiever.
Back in 2005, when I first had the idea for Lifehack, I really only considered it to be a platform to record some of my productivity and self-improvement techniques. I’d developed these during my time at university and as a Software Engineer at Redhat.
However, based on the number of views and positive feedback I received on the first few articles, I quickly realized that Lifehack had the potential to be a popular and successful website—a site that could help transform the lives of people from all across the world.
It was at that point that I decided to set some goals in place for Lifehack.
The way I did this was to set specific targets for different areas of the business:
- Number of articles published
- Amount of time spent writing and promoting the articles
- Number of new readers
- Number of new email subscribers
- Revenue generated from ads
For each of the above, I set weekly, monthly, and yearly targets. These targets were realistic but were also ambitious. In addition, I wrote down the necessary steps to take to achieve each target within the specified time frame.
This goal setting had a powerful impact on my motivation and energy levels. Because I could clearly see what needed to be done to achieve each goal, I found a purpose to my tasks that made them exciting to complete. Each small target achieved took me closer to accomplishing the bigger goals.
For example, my initial goals for writing articles were for just five a week, which equated to 20 per month and just over 100 per year. However, as I dedicated more and more time to Lifehack, I found I was able to exceed my initial goals.
This led me to increase the numbers. Of course, there’s a limit to how many articles one person can write. So when the readership began to exponentially increase, I started to hire other writers to help me out with the site’s content.
From my initial goal of just over 100 articles per year, I’ve used goal setting to help Lifehack publish more than 35,000 articles to date. This is now the largest collection of original self-development articles in the world.
And in terms of readership—this has skyrocketed from a few dozen in 2005 to several million in 2020.
And of course, I have many new goals for Lifehack, including expanding our range of online courses.
My original goal has always remained the same though: To change people’s lives for the better.
Goal Setting Can Transform Your Life
If you haven’t yet experienced the incredible power of goal setting, then now’s the time to get started.
Build a definite picture of what you want to accomplish, break it down into small, achievable steps, and then start taking action!
You’ll be able to change all areas of your life using this method, including boosting your health, improving your relationships, and transforming your career. You may also want to use goal setting to start a new hobby or plot a path to a prosperous and peaceful retirement.
So please don’t wait for success to drop in your lap (which it is highly unlikely to do). Instead, decide on exactly what you want, then make a plan to get it. This is the secret to lifelong success.
Legendary motivational speaker and author Paul J. Meyer said it well:
“Goal setting is the most important aspect of all improvement and personal development plans. It is the key to all fulfillment and achievement.”
Now, let me leave you with five questions that will help you think about your future:
- What would you like to be doing in 3, 5, and 7 years?
- What things make you happiest?
- How can you share your knowledge and experience?
- Who can help you achieve your goals?
- What would you like to be your legacy?
Take plenty of time to think about these questions. When the answers come, you’ll be able to start building a picture of how you’d like your life to be—and what goals you need to set to make this picture a reality.
More Tips on Setting Goals
- 8 Reasons Why Goal Setting Is Important to a Fulfilling Life
- How to Set Goals and Achieve Them Successfully
- How Setting Personal Goals Makes You a Greater Achiever
Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com