Advertising
Advertising

8 Reasons You Don’t Have To Learn From Successful People

8 Reasons You Don’t Have To Learn From Successful People

As a general role, those who are deemed as being ‘successful’ in society are held up as examples and role models for us all to follow. While this is understandable, it does not take into account the unique characteristics that define us as individuals or the fact that the core definition of success is open to interpretation. This means that we can draw inspiration and learn from a diverse range of people and events, so long as they resonate with us and provide something tangible that we can identify with.

With this in mind, here are eight reasons why you do not necessary need to draw life lessons from successful people: –

Advertising

1. Success is Relative

You cannot escape from the fact that success is relative, depending on our upbringing, outlook and philosophy as individuals. It also depends on the nature of our individual goals, as the primary definition of success refers to the ‘accomplishment of an aim or purpose’. Therefore, by its very definition, success is relative and can be interpreted differently by each individual. This is why learning from those who are categorised as being successful may not be suitable for everyone, as one mans’ definition of success will be alien to another.

2. We can learn a great deal from Failure

While it is certainly possible to learn from successful individuals or business case studies, failure is also a great teacher that can provide invaluable and practical life lessons. It also provides a cryptic learning process, however, and one which requires a great deal of time, reflection and effort to decipher accurately. The key is to analyse your failures in a constructive and emotionally detached manner, taking the time to understand why you struggled to achieve your goals and determining what can be changed in the future.

Advertising

3. Successful People make Sacrifices that can Impact on their Life

Regardless of how you define success, it is not always easy to achieve as an individual. Certainly those who achieve their goals in competitive fields such as finance or sport must sacrifice a great deal in the pursuit of success, both in terms of time and their quality of living. While these sacrifices may be necessary in some instances, as an individual you may be unwilling to give up time with your family and loved ones or compromise on their standard of living in order to achieve a specific goal. If this is the case, you will need to reconsider your priorities and have a clear understanding of how success will impact on your life.

4. Creative People fall outside the Generic Definition of Success

In theory, creative people should hold the key to the world and serve as living embodiments of success. This is not always the case, however, as those with a creative bent tend to be judged in a way that confounds the generic definition of success. The primary reason for this is the core difference that exists between creativity and innovation, as these are in fact entirely separate elements that comprise a process for bringing ideas to life and changing the world around us. Innovation is simply focused creativity, as it harnesses energy and ideas to create practical solutions to existing problems. This means that creative people can rarely be judged by the traditional metrics of success or draw direct inspiration from those who are perceived as being successful.

Advertising

5. There are Unsung Heroes who are the Main Drivers of Innovation

This leads us neatly onto our next point, as the combination of creativity and innovation has helped to drive technological advancement in recent years. This has translated into simple and practical solutions for everyday problems, ranging from effective time management tools to advanced parental controls for restricting children’s access to technology. While we may associate many of these innovations with the major technology firms that have packaged them, a great deal will have been initially developed and patented by unknown individuals before being licensed to a brand. These unsung heroes are therefore pivotal drivers of innovation, and although we can all learn from their brilliance they remain anonymous in a world of large and faceless organizations.

6. Successful People may Set a Good Behavioral Example

While people who attain the traditional trappings of success (such as wealth, adulation and power) are often held up as examples in society, in reality they may set a less than positive example. The ability to develop a lucrative career or thrive in a competitive industry requires many of qualities, some of these may also lend themselves to a single-minded, selfish and ego-driven persona. These characteristics can cause successful individuals to act in a less than desirable way outside of their professional environment, and this is the kind of example that young and impressionable people would do well to avoid.

Advertising

7. It can be hard to identify with extreme case studies of success

While we are often presented with case studies of successful individuals and businesses, some of these are extreme in their nature and extremely hard to identify with. Take the example of a close family friend of mine, who worked tirelessly and saved 75% of his income for 10 years to become an investor and ultimately retire at the age of 32. This required a considerable personal sacrifice, while he was also fortunate enough to benefit from a supportive network of friends and family. For anyone without such a close-knit support network this is particularly hard to identify with, meaning that there is a need to source inspiration from less extreme example of success.

8. Success Relies on External Factors that are beyond your Control

There are a number of popular success metrics, including high income and status within a business or social demographic. While you may have the personal characteristics to achieve success in your chosen field, however, this also relies on external factors that are beyond your control. You can only perform in a high-paying job if you are employed by someone, for example, while status is built on a reputation that can be easily undermined by those around you. Oscar Wilde once said that ‘Success is a science; if you have the conditions, you get the result,’ which reinforces the need for luck and the right surroundings to succeed. There are therefore plenty of inspiration individuals who we can learn from, even though they have yet to attain the modern definition of success.

Featured photo credit: Flash Buddy – Pixabay via pixabay.com

More by this author

10 Reasons A Long-Distance Relationship Will Work 12 iPhone 6 Tricks You Probably Don’t Know But Should We Are Often Confused Empathy With Sympathy but What’s The Difference Actually? To Make Wise Decisions, Ask Yourself These Questions Every Time No Matter What You Say, the First Thing People Pay Attention to Is Only How You Say It

Trending in Productivity

1 11 Important Things to Remember When Changing Habits 2 How Your Attitude Determines Your Success 3 How to Ask for Help When You Need It Most 4 How Much Do You Need to Give Up to Start Over? 5 Is It Really Better to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone?

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on March 21, 2019

11 Important Things to Remember When Changing Habits

11 Important Things to Remember When Changing Habits

Most gurus talk about habits in a way that doesn’t help you:

You need to push yourself more. You can’t be lazy. You need to wake up at 5 am. You need more motivation. You can never fail…blah blah “insert more gibberish here.”

But let me share with you the unconventional truths I found out:

To build and change habits, you don’t need motivation or wake up at 5 am. Heck, you can fail multiple times, be lazy, have no motivation and still pull it off with ease.

It’s quite simple and easy to do, especially with the following list I’m going to show to you. But remember, Jim Rohn used to say,

“What is simple and easy to do is also simple and easy not to do.”

The important things to remember when changing your habits are both simple and easy, just don’t think that they don’t make any difference because they do.

In fact, they are the only things that make a difference.

Let’s see what those small things are, shall we?

1. Start Small

The biggest mistake I see people doing with habits is by going big. You don’t go big…ever. You start small with your habits.

Want to grow a book reading habit? Don’t start reading a book a day. Start with 10 pages a day.

Want to become a writer? Don’t start writing 10,000 words a day. Start with 300 words.

Want to lose weight? Don’t stop eating ice cream. Eat one less ball of it.

Whatever it is, you need to start small. Starting big always leads to failure. It has to, because it’s not sustainable.

Start small. How small? The amount needs to be in your comfort zone. So if you think that reading 20 pages of a book is a bit too much, start with 10 or 5.

It needs to appear easy and be easy to do.

Do less today to do more in a year.

2. Stay Small

There is a notion of Kaizen which means continuous improvement. They use this notion in habits where they tell you to start with reading 1 page of a book a day and then gradually increase the amount you do over time.

Advertising

But the problem with this approach is the end line — where the “improvement” stops.

If I go from reading 1 page of a book a day and gradually reach 75 and 100, when do I stop? When I reach 1 book a day? That is just absurd.

When you start a habit, stay at it in the intensity you have decided. Don’t push yourself for more.

I started reading 20 pages of a book a day. It’s been more than 2 years now and I’ve read 101 books in that period. There is no way I will increase the number in the future.

Why?

Because reading 40 to 50 books a year is enough.

The same thing applies to every other habit out there.

Pick a (small) number and stay at it.

3. Bad Days Are 100 Percent Occurrence

No matter how great you are, you will have bad days where you won’t do your habit. Period.

There is no way of going around this. So it’s better to prepare yourself for when that happens instead of thinking that it won’t ever happen.

What I do when I miss a day of my habit(s) is that I try to bounce back the next day while trying to do habits for both of those days.

Example for that is if I read 20 pages of a book a day and I miss a day, the next day I will have to read 40 pages of a book. If I miss writing 500 words, the next day I need to write 1000.

This is a really important point we will discuss later on rewards and punishments.

This is how I prepare for the bad days when I skip my habit(s) and it’s a model you should take as well.

4. Those Who Track It, Hack It

When you track an activity, you can objectively tell what you did in the past days, weeks, months, and years. If you don’t track, you will for sure forget everything you did.

There are many different ways you can track your activities today, from Habitica to a simple Excel sheet that I use, to even a Whatsapp Tracker.

Peter Drucker said,

“What you track is what you do.”

So track it to do it — it really helps.

But tracking is accompanied by one more easy activity — measuring.

5. Measure Once, Do Twice

Peter Drucker also said,

“What you measure is what you improve.”

So alongside my tracker, I have numbers with which I measure doses of daily activities:

For reading, it’s 20 pages.
For writing, it’s 500 words.
For the gym, it’s 1 (I went) or 0 (didn’t go).
For budgeting, it’s writing down the incomes and expenses.

Tracking and measuring go hand in hand, they take less than 20 seconds a day but they create so much momentum that it’s unbelievable.

6. All Days Make a Difference

Will one day in the gym make you fit? It won’t.

Will two? They won’t.

Will three? They won’t.

Which means that a single gym session won’t make you fit. But after 100 gym sessions, you will look and feel fit.

What happened? Which one made you fit?

The answer to this (Sorites paradox)[1] is that no single gym session made you fit, they all did.

No single day makes a difference, but when combined, they all do. So trust the process and keep on going (small).

7. They Are Never Fully Automated

Gurus tell you that habits become automatic. And yes, some of them do, like showering a certain way of brushing your teeth.

But some habits don’t become automatic, they become a lifestyle.

What I mean by that is that you won’t automatically “wake up” in the gym and wonder how you got there.

It will just become a part of your lifestyle.

Advertising

The difference is that you do the first one automatically, without conscious thought, while the other is a part of how you live your life.

It’s not automatic, but it’s a decision you don’t ponder on or think about — you simply do it.

It will become easy at a certain point, but they will never become fully automated.

8. What Got You Here Won’t Get You There

Marshall Goldsmith has a great book with the same title to it. The phrase means that sometimes, you will need to ditch certain habits to make room for other ones which will bring you to the next step.

Don’t be afraid to evolve your habits when you sense that they don’t bring you where you want to go.

When I started reading, it was about reading business and tactic books. But two years into it, I switched to philosophy books which don’t teach me anything “applicable,” but instead teach me how to think.

The most important ability of the 21st century is the ability to learn, unlearn, and relearn. The strongest tree is the willow tree – not because it has the strongest root or biggest trunk, but because it is flexible enough to endure and sustain anything.

Be like a willow, adapting to the new ways of doing things.

9. Set a Goal and Then Forget It

The most successful of us know what they want to achieve, but they don’t focus on it.

Sounds paradoxical? You’re right, it does. But here is the logic behind it.

You need to have a goal of doing something – “I want to become a healthy individual” – and then, you need to reverse engineer how to get there with your habits- “I will go to the gym four times a week.”

But once you have your goal, you need to “forget” about it and only focus on the process. Because you are working on the process of becoming healthy and it’s always in the making. You will only be as healthy as you take care of your body.

So you have a goal which isn’t static but keeps on moving.

If you went to the gym 150 times year and you hit your goal, what would you do then? You would stop going to the gym.

This is why goal-oriented people experience yo-yo effect[2] and why process-oriented people don’t.

The difference between process-oriented and goal-oriented people is that the first focus on daily actions while others only focus on the reward at the finish line.

Set a goal but then forget about it and reap massive awards.

10. Punish Yourself

Last two sections are pure Pavlovian – you need to punish bad behavior and reward good behavior. You are the only person who decides what is good and what is bad for you, but when you do, you need to rigorously follow that.

Advertising

I’ve told you in point #3 about bad days and how after one occurs, I do double the work on the next day. That is one of my forms of punishments.

It’s the need to tell your brain that certain behaviors are unacceptable and that they lead to bad outcomes. That’s what punishments are for.

You want to tell your brain that there are real consequences to missing your daily habits.[3]

No favorite food to eat or favorite show to watch or going to the cinema for a new Marvel movie- none, zero, zilch.

The brain will remember these bad feelings and will try to avoid the behaviors that led to them as much as possible.

But don’t forget the other side of the same coin.

11. Reward Yourself

When you follow and execute on your plan, reward yourself. It’s how the brain knows that you did something good.

Whenever I finish one of my habits for the day, I open my tracker (who am I kidding, I always keep it open on my desktop) and fill it with a number. As soon as I finish reading 20 pages of a book a day (or a bit more), I open the tracker and write the number down.

The cell becomes green and gives me an instant boost of endorphin – a great success for the day. Then, it becomes all about not breaking the chain and having as many green fields as possible.

After 100 days, I crunch some numbers and see how I did.

If I have less than 10 cheat days, I reward myself with a great meal in a restaurant. You can create your own rewards and they can be daily, weekly, monthly or any arbitrary time table that you create.

Primoz Bozic, a productivity coach, has gold, silver, and bronze medals as his reward system.[4]

If you’re having problems creating a system which works for you, contact me via email and we can discuss specifics.

In the End, It Matters

What you do matters not only to you but to the people around you.

When you increase the quality of your life, you indirectly increase the quality of life of people around you. And sometimes, that is all the “motivation” we need to start.

And that’s the best quote for the end of this article:

“Motivation gets you started, but habits keep you going.”

Keep going.

Advertising

More Resources to Help You Build Habits

Featured photo credit: Anete Lūsiņa via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy: Sorites paradox
[2] Muscle Zone: What causes yo-yo effect and how to avoid it?
[3] Growth Habits: 5 Missteps That Cause You To Quit Building A Habit
[4] Primoz Bozic: The Lean Review: How to Plan Your 2019 in 20 Minutes

Read Next