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7 Step Framework to Craft Holistically Ambitious Goals for 2014

7 Step Framework to Craft Holistically Ambitious Goals for 2014

This post will teach you how to create goals for this upcoming year that won’t leave you empty when you achieve them.

How to set goals

    This actually happens a lot because “goal lists” are rarely accountable to all areas of our lives that are important to us.

    If you have a bunch of goals that are solely focused on one area of your life (cough work), you’ll probably end up feeling unhappy even if you crush them.

    Below is a methodology you can use to set goals for 2014 that are holistically ambitious. It relies heavily on a 400 year old Buddhist tool called the Bhavacakra or “Wheel of Life.”

    You can use this framework precisely as outlined like I did last year or simply as a guidepost. Remember these are your goals so don’t be afraid to iterate on the process!

    Okay, moving on…

    The methodology is broken into 2 parts: How to Set Goals and Goal Execution.

    How to Set Goals

    1. Identify the areas of your life that are most important to you.

    If you don’t know where to begin, you use any or all of the sections from the “Wheel of Life” personal development tool pictured below.

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    • Health
    • Friends and Family
    • Significant Other
    • Personal Growth and Learning
    • Fun Leisure and Recreation
    • Physical Enviroment (i.e. home)
    • Career
    • Money

    wheel of life

      2. Create high-level aspirations by answering the following questions for your life.

      I want to develop more….

      I want to become more….

      I want to learn or get better at

      I’d like to spend more time…

      Here are some examples of how I might answer these questions:

      I want to develop more financial freedom.

      I want to become more selfless.

      I want to learn salsa dancing.

      I’d like to spend more time with my family.

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      3. Take each aspiration and group them into the corresponding areas of your life that you’ve defined as important.

      Developing more financial freedom -> Money

      Becoming more selfless -> Personal Growth (or maybe family and friends)

      Learn salsa dancing -> Fun and Recreation

      Spending more time with your family -> Family and Friends

      4. Look at all of the areas of your life that you’ve defined as important and answer these questions:

      • Are all of the high level things you want to accomplish there? If not add some and don’t be afraid to get specific

      • Is there an in-balance between my goals and the areas of my life that are important to me? If so, are you okay with that? Remember the goal is to have holistic ambitions

      5. With each aspiration, try to crystallize it into a measurable, completeable goal

      Here are some examples.

      Health:

      • I want to lose weight -> I want to lose 10 lbs and maintain that weight.

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      Money:

      • I want more financial freedom – > I want to put away $500 more from my paycheck every month into savings.

      Goal Execution

      6. Determine how you’re going to measure or verify progress on your goals (if applicable)

      Goal: I want to lose weight -> I want to lose 10 lbs and maintain that weight.

      Measurement System: On the 1st and 15th of every month I will record my weight to have a clear picture of where I’m at .

      7. Schedule a regular goal review and plan implementation

      Remember creating this list is just the first step! Implementation is what really matters and regularly charting/planning progress is the easiest way to get there.

      Last year, on the first and 3rd Sunday of every month I reviewed my goals, updated my progress and planned how I was going to accomplish the remaining ones. I also identified goals that were no longer relevant and added new ones. You can view the public version of this here.

      Important: Your goals are not meant to be concrete! They are simply guideposts that should only be on this list if they are something you continue to want for you life.

      Don’t be afraid to gracefully bow out of an ambition if it is no longer relevant or desireable.

      Optional But Important

      Find a way to keep yourself accountable to completing these goals.

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      This can be as simple as emailing or talking to an accountability partner after you’ve done your regular review or as extreme as posting your progress publicly like I did.

      You want to strike the balance between what you’re comfortable with and what will motivate you.

      If you’re really struggling with motivation, tie failure to complete a goal to losing something that is important to you. Giving money to a friend is a simple example of this. You can also give lambo’s to your favorite bloggers ; )

      I made a pretty pdf of this framework that you can share with friends and will be emailing my personal goals for 2014 to everyone who downloads it here.

      If you’re still feeling a little lost, you can also check out when I first defined my goals using this framework in 2012 here.

      How have you set goals for yourself in the past? Did you do anything to keep yourself accountable that worked really well?

      How to Set Goals for 2014 | life-longlearner

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      Last Updated on September 23, 2020

      5 Reasons for Your Facebook Addiction (and How to Break It)

      5 Reasons for Your Facebook Addiction (and How to Break It)

      Facebook is embedded into lives around the world. We use it to connect with friends, share important milestones, and check in with the news. However, what may seem like harmless scrolling can become harmful if it takes up inordinate amounts of time and turns into a Facebook addiction.

      The first step to breaking any bad habit is to understand the symptoms and psychological triggers that made you pick up the habit in the first place. Below you’ll find the common causes, and the good news is that, once you’ve identified them, you can implement specific strategies to get over your Facebook addiction.

      Symptoms of a Facebook Addiction

      Do you find that the first thing you do when you wake up is grab your phone and scroll through Facebook? Is it the last thing you see before falling asleep? You may have a Facebook addiction. Here are some more of the signs and symptoms[1]:

      • You end up spending hours on Facebook, even when you don’t mean to.
      • You use Facebook to escape problems or change your mood.
      • You go to sleep later because you’re glued to your screen.
      • Your relationships are suffering because you spend more time on your phone than you do talking with the people you care about.
      • You automatically pull out your phone when you have free time.

      You can check out this TED Talk by Tristan Harris to understand how Facebook and other social media gain and hold our attention:

      Psychological Reasons for a Facebook Addiction

      A compulsive Facebook addiction doesn’t come out of nowhere. There are often root causes that push you into Facebook, which can ultimately manifest as an addiction once you become dependent on it. Here are some of the common causes.

      Procrastination

      Facebook can cause procrastination, but many times, your tendency to procrastinate can lead you to scrolling through your Facebook feed.

      Facebook capitalizes on your tendency to procrastinate[2] by incorporating a news feed with an infinite scroll. No matter how far down you go, there will always be more memes and status updates to keep you distracted from whatever you should be doing.

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      Thus, it might be helpful to change your perception of Facebook. Instead of looking at it like a place to be social or kill time, frame Facebook as the enemy of your productivity and purpose. Doesn’t sound as tempting now, right?

      Loneliness or Indecision

      Facebook resembles a boring reality TV show that is on full display during every hour of the day. Do you really need to tell everybody what you ate for lunch? I doubt it.

      You don’t share such trivial details to add value to people’s lives. You’re likely doing it because you’re lonely and in need of attention or approval[3].

      Seeking opinions from your friends could be a sign of indecision or low self-confidence. If you get a bad suggestion, then you can conveniently blame somebody else, thus protecting your ego.

      Social Comparisons

      Social comparison is a natural part of being human[4]. We need to know where we stand in order to judge our rank among our peers. And Facebook has made this all too easy.

      When we get into Facebook, our brains are bombarded by hundreds of people to compare ourselves to. We see our cousin’s amazing vacation to Europe, our friend’s adorable baby, our brother’s new puppy, etc. Everything looks better than what we have because, of course, people are only going to post the best parts.

      This extreme form of social comparison with a Facebook addiction can, unfortunately, lead to depression. One study pointed out that “people feel depressed after spending a great deal of time on Facebook because they feel badly when comparing themselves to others”[5].

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      People-Pleasing

      Facebook takes advantage of your desire for instant gratification[6]. Your brain receives a dopamine hit every time you see that red notification light up. Dopamine is a chemical in your brain that causes you to seek pleasure from things.

      Pleasure sounds nice in theory, but dopamine is responsible for self-destructive behavior if overproduced. Thus, becoming a slave to your notifications can destroy your self-control in a hurry.

      If that wasn’t bad enough, the human desire to be liked and accepted is at play, too. Every time you get a “Like,” your brain decides that means somebody likes you. Keep this up and you’ll turn into an addict desperate for another “hit.”

      Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

      Facebook wrecks your focus by preying on your fear of missing out. You check your Facebook feed during a date because you don’t want to miss any interesting updates. You check your messages while you drive because a friend might have something exciting to share.

      One study found that “a high level of fear of missing out and high narcissism are predictors of Facebook intrusion, while a low level of fear of missing out and high narcissism are related to satisfaction with life”[7].

      Therefore, while you may feel temporarily glad that you didn’t miss something, research shows that FOMO will actually reduce your overall life satisfaction.

      How to Break a Facebook Addiction

      Now that you know some of the causes of a Facebook addiction, you may be ready to break it. If so, follow these 5 steps to get over your addiction and improve your mental health.

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      1. Admit the Addiction

      You can’t fix a problem if you deny it exists. Don’t beat yourself up, but do try and be honest enough to admit you’re a Facebook addict. If it makes you feel any better, I’m a recovering addict myself. There is no reason to be ashamed.

      Telling a trusted friend might help you stay accountable, especially if they share your goal.

      2. Be Mindful of Triggers

      In order to discover the triggers that lead you to use Facebook, ask yourself the following questions. It may be helpful to write them down at a journal.

      • What did I do? (scrolling, sharing, notification checking, etc.)
      • When did I do it? (down-time at work, as soon as you woke up, right before bed, on a date, etc.)
      • What happened right before? (a stressful event, boredom, etc.)
      • How did this make me feel? (stressed, anxious, sad, angry, etc.)

      Once you’re aware of what pushes you to use Facebook, you can work on tackling those specific things to get over your Facebook addiction.

      3. Learn to Recognize the Urge

      Every time you feel the urge to update your status or check your feed, recognize that impulse for what it is (a habitual behavior—NOT a conscious decision). This is especially powerful when you complete step 2 because you’ll be able to make a mental note of the specific psychological trigger at play.

      Have a plan for when you feel the desire to use Facebook. For example, if you know you use it when you’re bored, plan to practice a hobby instead. If you use it when you’re stressed, create a relaxation routine instead of jumping on Facebook.

      4. Practice Self-Compassion

      Facebook is an epic time-suck, but that doesn’t mean you should criticize yourself every time you log-on to your feed. Beating yourself up will make you feel bad about yourself, which will ironically cause you to be even more tempted.

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      Self-loathing can only lead to failure. You might end up deciding it’s hopeless because you are “too lazy.”  If you want to break your addiction for good, then you need to be self-compassionate.

      5. Replace the Addiction With a Positive Alternative

      It’s a lot easier to eliminate a bad habit when you decide on a good habit that you would like to replace it with. I applied this idea by choosing to pick up a book every time I was tempted to check my feed.

      The result blew my mind. I read over a hundred pages in the first day! Trust me when I say those “few minutes of down-time” can add up to an obscene amount of waste.

      Having a specific metric to track is important. If you want to stay encouraged, you need to have compelling evidence that your time would be better spent elsewhere.

      For example, download an app to help you determine exactly how much time is spent on Facebook so you know how much of your life you’re losing to it. Then, when you find a healthy alternative, you can feel good about all the time you’re giving to it!

      Final Thoughts

      Facebook addictions aren’t uncommon in today’s technologically dependent world. In the pursuit of human connection, we’ve mistakenly taken our interactions online, thinking it would be an easier alternative. Unfortunately, this is no replacement for genuine, face-to-face interaction in real life.

      If you think you have a problem, there are things you can do to tackle it. Get started today and improve your overall well-being.

      More on How to Use Social Media Less

      Featured photo credit: Tim Bennett via unsplash.com

      Reference

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