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7 Major Reasons You Procrastinate And How To Deal With Them

7 Major Reasons You Procrastinate And How To Deal With Them

If an area of your life is not where you want it to be, odds are that it’s partially because you are not taking the actions you know you should be taking. Whether you need to do research, have an important conversation, complete paperwork or head to the gym. Whatever it is, you keep finding excuses not to do it. We have a fancy name for putting things off, “to procrastinate,” but the truth is that it is just stubborn avoidance.

The key to dealing with avoidance is to first understand why you are avoiding. Here are some of the most common reasons that my clients have for avoiding doing something in their lives, and the solutions I recommend for each.

1. You like to stay in your small, comfortable box

I find that this, believe it or not, is one of the biggest reasons people procrastinate. Let’s say that you were to do your tasks early. Then what? Well, you’d have to do more. You would have time to take on the big dreams that you have been putting off because they are scary or uncomfortable. While you might say you want those dreams, the truth is that the prospect of success actually scares the pants off of you. It seems really appealing, then, to live your life in procrastination-mode, always just one step ahead of a deadline, so you don’t have time or energy to go for something bigger.

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The solution: Get comfortable with your dream. Tell people about it. Think about it. Admit that it scares you, and take steps to deal with that fear.

2. The task brings up painful memories.

One of my clients was recently struggling with cleaning out her attic to make space for her new child. After a few weeks of promising that she would and then not delivering, we delved a bit deeper and found that there were boxes of her grandmother’s belongings in the attic. My client deeply regretted not having been around for her grandmother’s last days, and so the prospect of sorting through her boxes seemed like torture. No wonder she put it off.

The solution: Usually, there is something you can do to be at peace with those memories. In the case of my client, I had her write a letter to her grandmother, and read it aloud “to her” in an apple orchard (her grandmother loved apple blossoms).

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3. You are too tired.

Yes, it’s true that life is busy. Many of my clients feel like they don’t have enough energy left at the end of the day to take care of other important tasks. That all they can do is rest on the couch and catch up on their TV programs.
The solution: First, ask yourself if this is really true, or if it’s just an excuse. I have found that 75% of the time, it’s an excuse, and that if you really wanted to, you could muster the energy. For the other 25%, I coach my clients to “mind their energy” by figuring out how to get good quality sleep and eat the right foods.

4. You don’t want to ask for help.

You can’t complete the task easily on your own, but you are unwilling to ask for help. This can be because you feel stupid that you need help, or that you don’t like the person you need to ask, or that you like to be in control and so would rather do it on your own. Regardless of the reason, your unwillingness to ask for help means that you are stuck.

The solution: Re-examine your underlying priorities. Is the purpose of your life really to save face? Or is it to achieve great things? Once you are connected with your deeper values, your insecurities in asking for help will seem petty.

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5. You are overwhelmed.

Overwhelm is actually a very good protection mechanism. This is your mind saying “there is something huge and unknown in the future. I need to protect myself. And so you retreat to somewhere comfortable and safe.

The solution: Recognize that there is nothing about a task that makes it inherently “overwhelming.” You are the one who labels it as such. What is overwhelming to one person isn’t overwhelming to another. So choose to label your task differently. Focus on the most immediate step in front of you. Know that you are capable of so much more than this task. Truly.

6.You plain out just don’t want to do it.

Yes, life is full of things that you just don’t enjoy doing, like filing your taxes, that you simply have to do.

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The solution: Develop a good sense of self-control. Studies have found that children with good self-control do better in life than those who don’t. But know that self-control is something you can cultivate if you want to. Practice making and keeping small daily commitments in your life so you can practice this skill.

7. You don’t have time.

This is probably the most common reason my clients put things off.

The solution: Yes, life is busy, and there will always be more to do than can ever be done. The secret is to be crystal clear on your priorities, how long they will take, and executing them. It’s really that simple. Don’t promise to do 20 things in a day when you know you can only do 8. Know those 8, commit to them, and let the rest go. It’s really that simple.

Are you avoiding doing something in your life? What is the reason behind it? What solution will you use to get unstuck? Write me a note and share.

Featured photo credit: A via flickr.com

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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