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7 Major Reasons You Procrastinate And How To Deal With Them

7 Major Reasons You Procrastinate And How To Deal With Them

If an area of your life is not where you want it to be, odds are that it’s partially because you are not taking the actions you know you should be taking. Whether you need to do research, have an important conversation, complete paperwork or head to the gym. Whatever it is, you keep finding excuses not to do it. We have a fancy name for putting things off, “to procrastinate,” but the truth is that it is just stubborn avoidance.

The key to dealing with avoidance is to first understand why you are avoiding. Here are some of the most common reasons that my clients have for avoiding doing something in their lives, and the solutions I recommend for each.

1. You like to stay in your small, comfortable box

I find that this, believe it or not, is one of the biggest reasons people procrastinate. Let’s say that you were to do your tasks early. Then what? Well, you’d have to do more. You would have time to take on the big dreams that you have been putting off because they are scary or uncomfortable. While you might say you want those dreams, the truth is that the prospect of success actually scares the pants off of you. It seems really appealing, then, to live your life in procrastination-mode, always just one step ahead of a deadline, so you don’t have time or energy to go for something bigger.

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The solution: Get comfortable with your dream. Tell people about it. Think about it. Admit that it scares you, and take steps to deal with that fear.

2. The task brings up painful memories.

One of my clients was recently struggling with cleaning out her attic to make space for her new child. After a few weeks of promising that she would and then not delivering, we delved a bit deeper and found that there were boxes of her grandmother’s belongings in the attic. My client deeply regretted not having been around for her grandmother’s last days, and so the prospect of sorting through her boxes seemed like torture. No wonder she put it off.

The solution: Usually, there is something you can do to be at peace with those memories. In the case of my client, I had her write a letter to her grandmother, and read it aloud “to her” in an apple orchard (her grandmother loved apple blossoms).

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3. You are too tired.

Yes, it’s true that life is busy. Many of my clients feel like they don’t have enough energy left at the end of the day to take care of other important tasks. That all they can do is rest on the couch and catch up on their TV programs.
The solution: First, ask yourself if this is really true, or if it’s just an excuse. I have found that 75% of the time, it’s an excuse, and that if you really wanted to, you could muster the energy. For the other 25%, I coach my clients to “mind their energy” by figuring out how to get good quality sleep and eat the right foods.

4. You don’t want to ask for help.

You can’t complete the task easily on your own, but you are unwilling to ask for help. This can be because you feel stupid that you need help, or that you don’t like the person you need to ask, or that you like to be in control and so would rather do it on your own. Regardless of the reason, your unwillingness to ask for help means that you are stuck.

The solution: Re-examine your underlying priorities. Is the purpose of your life really to save face? Or is it to achieve great things? Once you are connected with your deeper values, your insecurities in asking for help will seem petty.

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5. You are overwhelmed.

Overwhelm is actually a very good protection mechanism. This is your mind saying “there is something huge and unknown in the future. I need to protect myself. And so you retreat to somewhere comfortable and safe.

The solution: Recognize that there is nothing about a task that makes it inherently “overwhelming.” You are the one who labels it as such. What is overwhelming to one person isn’t overwhelming to another. So choose to label your task differently. Focus on the most immediate step in front of you. Know that you are capable of so much more than this task. Truly.

6.You plain out just don’t want to do it.

Yes, life is full of things that you just don’t enjoy doing, like filing your taxes, that you simply have to do.

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The solution: Develop a good sense of self-control. Studies have found that children with good self-control do better in life than those who don’t. But know that self-control is something you can cultivate if you want to. Practice making and keeping small daily commitments in your life so you can practice this skill.

7. You don’t have time.

This is probably the most common reason my clients put things off.

The solution: Yes, life is busy, and there will always be more to do than can ever be done. The secret is to be crystal clear on your priorities, how long they will take, and executing them. It’s really that simple. Don’t promise to do 20 things in a day when you know you can only do 8. Know those 8, commit to them, and let the rest go. It’s really that simple.

Are you avoiding doing something in your life? What is the reason behind it? What solution will you use to get unstuck? Write me a note and share.

Featured photo credit: A via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 23, 2019

5 Steps To Move Out Of Stagnancy In Life

5 Steps To Move Out Of Stagnancy In Life

In the journey of growth, there are times when we grow and excel. We are endlessly driven and hyped up, motivated to get our goals.

Then there are times when we stagnate. We feel uninspired and unmotivated. We keep procrastinating on our plans. More often than not, we get out of a rut, only to get back into another one.

How do you know if you are stagnating? Here are some tell-tale signs:

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  • If you have been experiencing chronic procrastination on your goals
  • If you don’t ever feel like doing anything
  • If you keep turning to sleep, eating, games, mindless activities and entertainment for comfort
  • If you know you should be doing something, but yet you keep avoiding it
  • If you have not achieved anything new or significant now relative to 1 month, 2 months or 3 months ago
  • If you have a deep sense of feeling that you are living under your potential

When we face stagnation in life, it’s a sign of deeper issues. Stagnation, just like procrastination, is a symptom of a problem. It’s easy to beat ourselves over it, but this approach is not going to help. Here, I will share 5 steps to help you move out of this stagnation. They won’t magically transform your life in 1 night (such changes are never permanent because the foundations are not built), but they will help you get the momentum going and help you get back on track.

1. Realize You’re Not Alone

Everyone stagnates at some point or another. You are not alone in this and more importantly, it’s normal. In fact, it’s amazing how many of my clients actually face the same predicament, even though all of them come from different walks of life, are of different ages, and have never crossed paths. Realizing you are not alone in this will make it much easier to deal with this period. By trying to “fight it”, you’re only fighting yourself. Accept this situation, acknowledge it, and tell yourself it’s okay. That way, you can then focus on the constructive steps that will really help you.

2. Find What Inspires You

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Stagnation comes because there isn’t anything that excites you enough to take action. If you don’t have a habit of setting goals, and instead just leave yourself to daily mundanes, it’s not surprising you are experiencing stagnation. What do you want to do if there are no limitations? If you can have whatever you want, what will it be? The answers to these questions will provide the fuel that will drive you forward.

On the other hand, even if you are an experienced goal setter, there are times when the goals you set in the past lose their appeal now. It’s normal and it happens to me too. Sometimes we lose touch with our goals, since we are in a different emotional state compared to when we first set them. Sometimes our priorities change and we no longer want to work on those goals anymore. However, we don’t consciously realize this, and what happens is we procrastinate on our goals until it compounds into a serious problem. If that’s the case for you, it’s time to relook into your goals. There’s no point in pursuing goals that no longer inspire you. Trash away your old goals (or just put them aside) and ask yourself what you really want now. Then go for them.

3. Give Yourself a Break

When’s the last time you took a real break for yourself? 3 months? 6 months? 1 year? Never? Perhaps it’s time to take a time-out. Prolonged working can cause someone to become disillusioned as they lose sight of who they are and what they want.

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Go take some extended leave from work. A few days at bare minimum; a few weeks or months will be great. Some of my ex-colleagues have quit their jobs and took months out to do some self-reflection. Of course, some of us might not have that luxury, so we can stick to a few weeks of leave. Go on a trip elsewhere and get away from your work and your life. Use this chance to get a renewed perspective of life. Think about your life purpose, what you want and what you want to create for your life in the future. These are big questions that require deep thinking over them. It’s not about finding the answers at one go, but about taking the first step to finding the answers.

4. Shake up Your Routines

Being in the same environment, doing the same things over and over again and meeting the same people can make us stagnant. This is especially if the people you spend the most time with are stagnant themselves.

Change things around. Start with simple things, like taking a different route to work and eating something different for breakfast. Have your lunch with different colleagues, colleagues you never talked much with. Work in a different cubicle if your work has free and easy seating. Do something different than your usual for weekday evenings and weekends. Cultivate different habits, like exercising every day, listening to a new series of podcasts every morning to work, reading a book, etc (here’s 6 Proven Ways To Make New Habits Stick). The different contexts will give you different stimulus, which will trigger off different thoughts and actions in you.

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When I’m in a state of stagnancy, I’ll get a sense of what’s making me stagnate. Sometimes it’s the environment I’m in, sometimes it’s the people I’ve been hanging out with, sometimes it’s my lifestyle. Most of the times it’s a combination of all these. Changing them up helps to stir myself out of the stagnant mode.

5. Start with a Small Step

Stagnation also comes from being frozen in fear. Maybe you do want this certain goal, but you aren’t taking action. Are you overwhelmed by the amount of work needed? Are you afraid you will make mistakes? Is the perfectionist in you taking over and paralyzing you?

Let go of the belief that it has to be perfect. Such a belief is a bane, not a boon. It’s precisely from being open to mistakes and errors that you move forward. Break down what’s before you into very very small steps, then take those small steps, a little step at a time. I had a client who had been stagnating for a long period because he was afraid of failing. He didn’t want to make another move where he would make a mistake. However, not wanting to make a mistake has led him to do absolutely nothing for 2-3 years. On the other hand, by doing just something, you would already be making progress, whether it’s a mistake or not. Even if you make a supposed “mistake”,  you get feedback to do things differently in the next step. That’s something you would never have known if you never made a move.

More to Help You Stay Motivated

Here are some resources that will help you break out of your current phase:

Featured photo credit: Anubhav Saxena via unsplash.com

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