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5 Crucial Principles To Make Both Your Professional And Personal Life Successful

5 Crucial Principles To Make Both Your Professional And Personal Life Successful

It’s never easy to balance your professional life and personal life. Dolly Singh, the acting Head of Talent at Oculus VR, has shared 5 principles to be successful in both professional and personal life on Quora:

Have you ever known someone who seems to be able to get everything they want? The ones who seem to breeze through life effortlessly, making up their own rules as they go along, unaffected to the mundane realities of everyday life?

Are some people just “luckier” than others, their roads already smoothly paved, helping them achieve their goals? And others are “unluckier,” with barriers cropping up for them out of nowhere, preventing them from achieving their goals?

It’s a slight variation on the age old question: Do we create our destiny, or are we victim to it?

As most age-old questions go, the answer isn’t simple, and more than likely lies somewhere in the middle. But no matter how your life is, you can make the most of what you have by not letting what you can’t do interfere with what you can do; and by taking note to some of the habits of the ‘lucky’ people in our lives.  Are there skills or attributes that enable some of their good fortune?

These people clearly have an ability to effectively court the opportunities and relationships they want in their lives, and when observed closely they do seem to use similar strategies and principles in their pursuits.

These Principles of Courtship can apply equally to both personal and professional endeavors. Whether you’re looking to land an amazing career opportunity, a key client, or that amazing friendship or relationship, following this basic set of principles will help you court the right opportunities, both in 2014 and beyond.

Principle 1: The Art of Pursuit

Effective pursuit is about observation, assessment, and calibration.

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Any good pursuit begins with doing your homework. You must know your goals and standards before you can hope to live up to them.

For example, if you see a company you want to work for, learn as much as you possibly can about the company’s history, current status, and future goals. This knowledge will give you credibility as you engage with the company and its network. The more detailed and thorough your effort at this initial stage, the stronger the foundation you will have built for the rest of your capture plan. Inadequate effort in this stage is why thousands of interview candidates each year fail to effectively answer the simple but critical question of “What do you know about our organization, and why do you want to work here?”.

Similarly, before you consider starting a relationship (serious or casual),  you should know who you are getting in bed with (pun intended), as those choices directly impact your health and safety. ‘Luck’ or success in this case is defined as a relationship in which both parties want the same things from one another and are adding positive energy to one another’s life.

First, focus on activities you personally enjoy. Then, branch out and try new activities you might find interesting. By focusing on yourself, you’ll increase the possibility of meeting someone and you’ll likely learn more about yourself through the experience. Once a potential trustee emerges, check for red flags: pay close attention to the nuances in their behavior, as well as their reputation among others and how they treat people close to them. In these details and subtleties often lay the keys to making your pursuit successful.

Observe the situations closely, assess yourself and the surrounding context, calibrate your capture plan accordingly.

Principle 2: The Impact of Energy

Confidence is the closest thing in this world to magic. 

The human brain is amazing. Its complexity and magnificence is unquestioned in science and religion alike; it synthesizes complex information and seemingly unseen cues to make dozens of decisions each instant without any awareness from us. These unconscious interpretations made by one human brain, in turn, become unconscious signals which impact the awareness and brains of others around them, setting off profound but nearly invisible domino reactions in every human exchange.

What drives these unconscious decisions? The same force that drives the rest of the universe: energy.

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A person’s energy impacts her mind, both conscious and unconscious, in profound ways. That energy is conveyed in everything about her being, and that energy has a profound impact on every human being she encounters. You’ll notice that many of the people we see as “lucky” share this commonality: they are confident in themselves and their cause, and that belief allows other people to feel drawn to believing in them as well.

The best way to alter our subconscious impression of energy is to consciously increase our confidence level. Confidence is not just a feeling, but rather reflects on our internal, core perceptions of ourselves — specifically, our value and competence as human beings. Confidence is a self-fulfilling prophecy. To become a more confident person, you cannot continue with what you’re already doing; something has to change.

Even the world’s best public speakers did not come out of the womb knowing how to speak. They challenged themselves, took risks, and got scared. But instead of backing away from uncomfortable (but good) opportunities, they walked into them, fear and all.

Conversely, those who live with self-doubt also form a self-fulfilling prophecy with their internal negativity and darkness translating to their life and relationships; and many times they focus on blaming outside factors. Outside factors are inherently out of your control, so by placing blame there, this prevents a person from ever truly progressing to a healthier state.

Leaders are just normal people who habitually seized opportunity. You’ll gain expertise only when you step confidently into new territory. Act confident to become confident. Eventually, the more we practice at things, the better and more confident we become. We all have fear, and we all have causes we believe in. It’s our choice which one we allow to win in the end.

Another important key to confidence is remembering to take care of yourself! If a sports team fails to nourish and support its star players, it certainly shouldn’t expect to win any championships. Likewise, if you’re not taking out time to nurture the person who looks back at you in the mirror, then it will be more than just you who will suffer.

So before you start your path to a new career or new relationship, stop to do a gut check and find out where your confidence is coming from. Find out what truly defines you, why you are here, and whether you’re capable of doing what you came to do. By taking the chance to nourish your body and to know who you are, your energy and confidence will grow, preparing yourself for more joy in professional and personal relationships.

Principle 3:  The Wisdom of Surrender.

Never use the good to chase the bad.

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Take time to re-evaluate every so often, not only on how you are making progress on achieving your goal, but also whether your goal is worth the long-term investment.

During the first few weeks and months of any new engagement, the first months of a new job, a new client, or a budding romance, it’s critical to stay aware of your larger-scale needs and goals. Relationships or engagements where you are slowly being drained of energy in the early stages are not likely to blossom into the kinds of situations that lead to long-term prosperity.

Do not ignore red flags. Your time is one of the most precious resources of your life. Ensure that you’re getting what you need from all engagements, and those engagements are actually adding value and energy to your life. Your most closest relationships should leave you feeling both energized in your confidence level and challenged in your own character development. If it’s not, then the problems are not identified and addressed and that relationship will have a negative impact on your life.

People who value themselves don’t stay in relationships that deplete them of energy and joy. As human beings, we are limited. As with money and time, we have only a limited amount of energy to give. In order to have the greatest impact on the world, we must guard our energy, keeping an eye on how it is spent and how it is replenished.

Principle 4: Be the Driver of your Success.

To achieve success in personal and work relationships, define what success is. Then, bend the world to match that definition.

Set measurable, transparent, and, more importantly, agreed-upon goals for the relationship. You must be able to define and articulate what happiness or success would be, so that all parties are moving toward a common place. Any relationship without clear, on-going communication from each party is doomed to never achieving it. It is crucial to express to one another and understand one another’s expectations, needs, and definitions of success in the relationship.

Let’s say you started a new job. After the first few months, you’ve decided you like the team and organization, and you want to continue to invest in the opportunity. In this case, you should take some time to identify where you’d like to be in 12 months into the role, and should have professional, and on-going dialogue about it with your superiors. A good leader’s job is to enable your success, and unlock your potential, but they can only do so if you know your goals, and are taking active steps in achieving those goals that align with the company.

In a new personal relationships, be direct about what you want. If you are looking for casual fun, great — make sure your partner know. If you know you’d like to be married within the next couple of years, great — make sure your partner knows. Having all parties understand (or better yet, agree upon) one another’s goals is a requisite to any healthy relationship.

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Define success in your own terms, and then actively drive others toward that definition of success.

Principle 5: You Get What You Give.

In a highly interconnected world, the foundation you build today will define your success tomorrow.

Look for ways to provide value to everyone you can on a daily basis. These actions, if consistent become behaviors which are highly desirable and never go unnoticed forever. People who create value for others accumulate goodwill and respectability. That goodwill and respectability translates to introductions, which build your network over time. Your network, in turn, opens the door for introductions and opportunities for you to pursue.

In personal relationships, especially when social media blurs the line between our personal and public lives, reputation is more important now than ever. The world is large enough that, if you’re honest about what you really want, chances are you can find someone else who wants the same things. Honesty and respect are what most people want in relationships, so in order to get it, we must be ready and willing to give it.

We all face personal and professional challenges, and regardless of what we see in the lives of others, none of our roads have been paved perfectly smooth. Those who appear to be “lucky” in their lot in life are usually those who see every challenge as an opportunity, and consistently seek out ways to turn weaknesses into strengths. It is the energy with which they approach these challenges that begets their success.

By understanding these principles of courtship we can all have a better shot at making the most of the opportunities we have today, as well as pave the way for the opportunities of tomorrow.

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    Anna Chui

    Anna is a communication expert and a life enthusiast. She's the editor of Lifehack and loves to write about love, life, and passion.

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    Last Updated on June 25, 2019

    100 Motivational Quotes That Will Guide You To Massive Success

    100 Motivational Quotes That Will Guide You To Massive Success

    Below are the 100 most motivational quotes ever. Read them and get motivated for success, and share this post to help your friends get success too!

    1. All our dream can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. – Walt Disney

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      2. Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude. – Zig Ziglar

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        3. The Man Who Has Confidence In Himself Gains The Confidence Of Others. – Hasidic Proverb

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          4. What the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.– Napoleon Hill

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            5. For me, life is continuously being hungry. The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive, but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer. – Arnold Schwarzenegger

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              6. What you seek is seeking you. – Rumi

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                7. It is never too late to be what you might have been. —George Eliot

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                  8. Don’t worry about failure; you only have to be right once. —Drew Houston

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                    9. The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus. – Bruce Lee

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                      10. I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. – Thomas Jefferson

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                        11. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. – Lao Tzu

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                          12.The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. – Ayn Rand

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                            13. Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. – Mahatma Gandhi

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                              14. The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it. –  Jordan Belfort

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                                15. When you can’t change the direction of the wind, just adjust your sails. – H. Jackson Brown Jr

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                                  16. Security Is Mostly A Superstition. Life Is Either A Daring Adventure Or Nothing. – Helen Keller

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                                    17. Identify your problems but give your power and energy to solutions. – Tony Robbins

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                                      18. We become what we think about most of the time, and that’s the strangest secret. – Earl Nightingale

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                                        19. Double down on whats working. Cut the rest. – Tai Lopez

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                                          20. The best revenge is massive success. – Frank Sinatra

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                                            21. Tough times never last, but tough people do. – Dr. Robert Schuller

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                                              22. Stop chasing the money and start chasing the passion. Tony Hsieh

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                                                23. I’ve been blessed to find people who are smarter than I am, and they help me to execute the vision I have. – Russell Simmons

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                                                  24. The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes. – Benjamin Disraeli

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                                                    25. Patience, persistence, and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success. – Napoleon Hill

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                                                      26. If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much. – Jim Rohn

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                                                        27. People who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones that do. – Rob Siltanen

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                                                          28. Poor people have big TVs. Rich people have a big library. – Jim Rohn

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                                                            29. A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship. – John D. Rockefeller

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                                                              30. The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing. – Walt Disney

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                                                                31. The biggest risk is not taking any risk. In a world that’s changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks. – Mark Zuckerburg

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                                                                  32. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do that the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. – Mark Twain

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                                                                    33. Everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask. Everything you want also wants you. But you have to take action to get it.”– Jack Canfield

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                                                                      34. If you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything. – Malcolm X

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                                                                        35. Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy. or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don’t have a plan. – Larry Winget

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                                                                          36. Don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning. – Robert Kiyosaki

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                                                                            37. If you want to be successful, find someone who has achieved the results you want and copy what they do and you’ll achieve the same results. – Tony Robbins

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                                                                              38. Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly. – John F. Kennedy

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                                                                                39. Reading is to the mind, as exercise is to the body. – Brian Tracy

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                                                                                  40. The best reason to start an organization is to make meaning; to create a product or service to make the world a better place. – Guy Kawasaki

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                                                                                    41.You must expect great things of yourself before you can do them. —Michael Jordan

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                                                                                      42. Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great. – John D. Rockefeller

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                                                                                        43. Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping-stones to success. – Dale Carnegie

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                                                                                          44. The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself. – Mark Caine

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                                                                                            45. Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. —Warren Buffett

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                                                                                              46. Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real, it is possible, it’s yours. – Ayr Rand

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                                                                                                47. If you are willing to do more than you are paid to do, eventually you will be paid to do more than you do. – Anonymous

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                                                                                                  48. Make each day your masterpiece.  – John Wooden

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                                                                                                    49. You can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down and it has made all the difference in my life. – Steve Jobs

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                                                                                                      50. Knowing Is Not Enough; We Must Apply. Wishing Is Not Enough; We Must Do. – Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

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                                                                                                        51. If you don’t have a competitive advantage, don’t compete. – Jack Welch

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                                                                                                          52. People who succeed have momentum. The more they succeed, the more they want to succeed, and the more they find a way to succeed. Similarly, when someone is failing, the tendency is to get on a downward spiral that can even become a self-fulfilling prophecy. – Tony Robbins

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                                                                                                            53. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. – Wayne Gretzky

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                                                                                                              54. You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it. – Margaret Thatcher

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                                                                                                                55. If you want to make a permanent change, stop focusing on the size of your problems and start focusing on the size of you! – T. Harv Eker

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                                                                                                                  56. Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment. – Stephen Covey

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                                                                                                                    57. Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone. – Pablo Picasso

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                                                                                                                      58 – Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment. – Oprah Winfrey

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                                                                                                                        59. I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don’t intend to waste any of mine. – Neil Armstrong

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                                                                                                                          60. A goal is a dream with a deadline. – Napoleon Hill

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                                                                                                                            61.You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine. – John C. Maxwell

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                                                                                                                              62. The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. – Oprah Winfrey

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                                                                                                                                63. The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. – Mark Twain

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                                                                                                                                  64. Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else. – Les Brown

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                                                                                                                                    65. Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work. – Stephen King

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                                                                                                                                      66. A strong, positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success. – Joyce Brothers

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                                                                                                                                        67. If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. – John Quincy Adams

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                                                                                                                                          68. If you’re not stubborn, you’ll give up on experiments too soon. And if you’re not flexible, you’ll pound your head against the wall and you won’t see a different solution to a problem you’re trying to solve. – Jeff Bezos

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                                                                                                                                            69. Imagine Your Life Is Perfect In Every Respect; What Would It Look Like? – Brian Tracy

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                                                                                                                                              70. First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win. –  Mahatma Gandhi

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                                                                                                                                                71. Do one thing every day that scares you. – Eleanor Roosevelt

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                                                                                                                                                  72. Successful and unsuccessful people do not vary greatly in their abilities. They vary in their desires to reach their potential. – John Maxwell

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                                                                                                                                                    73. It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop. – Confucius

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                                                                                                                                                      74. If you don’t build your dream, someone else will hire you to help them build theirs. – Dhirubhai Ambani

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                                                                                                                                                        75. A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. – David Brinkley

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                                                                                                                                                          76. Learn to value yourself, which means: fight for your happiness. – Ayr Rand

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                                                                                                                                                            77. When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. – Alexander Graham Bell

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                                                                                                                                                              78. Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value. – Albert Einstein

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                                                                                                                                                                79. The number one reason people fail in life is because they listen to their friends, family, and neighbors. – Napoleon Hill

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                                                                                                                                                                  80. Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. – Eleanor Roosevelt

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                                                                                                                                                                    81. The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. – Franklin D. Roosevelt

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                                                                                                                                                                      82. If you are not willing to risk the usual, you will have to settle for the ordinary. – Jim Rohn

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                                                                                                                                                                        83. Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm. – Winston Churchill

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                                                                                                                                                                          84. The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it. – Henry David Thoreau

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                                                                                                                                                                            85. Take one idea. Make that one idea your life – think of it, dream of it, and live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success that is the way great spiritual giants are produced. – Swami Vivekananda

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                                                                                                                                                                              86. Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. – Henry Ford

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                                                                                                                                                                                87. It always seems impossible until it’s done. – Nelson Mandela

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                                                                                                                                                                                  88. Be so good they can’t ignore you. – Steve Martin

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                                                                                                                                                                                    89. If you can’t fly, then run, if you can’t run, then walk, if you can’t walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward. – Martin Luther King Jr.

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                                                                                                                                                                                      90. In the end, we only regret the chance we didn’t take – Lewis Carroll

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                                                                                                                                                                                        91. Don’t compare yourself with anyone in this world… if you do so, you are insulting yourself – Bill Gates

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                                                                                                                                                                                          92. Small daily improvements are the key to staggering long term results – Unknown

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                                                                                                                                                                                            93. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up. – Thomas Edison

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                                                                                                                                                                                              94. Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going – Jim Rohn

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                                                                                                                                                                                                95. The best way to predict the future is to create it – Peter Drucker

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                                                                                                                                                                                                  96. It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up. – Vince Lombardi

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                                                                                                                                                                                                    97. The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

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                                                                                                                                                                                                      98. Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today. – Will Rogers

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                                                                                                                                                                                                        99.You learn more from failure than from success. Don’t let it stop you. Failure builds character. – Unknown

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                                                                                                                                                                                                          100. Optimism is the one quality more associated with success and happiness than any other. – Brian Tracy

                                                                                                                                                                                                          lastone!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                            You made it to the end! Are you feeling motivated? Awesome, now share this post with your friends to help them achieve success too.

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