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15 Common Flaws Of People Which Make Them Unsuccessful

15 Common Flaws Of People Which Make Them Unsuccessful

In a world of unlimited opportunities we find fewer people taking advantage of what surrounds them to become successful. It is not as if there is a manuscript written for the “success role.” Rather there could be some limitations or common flaws that are hindering the unsuccessful from becoming what they can be.

1. They procrastinate

Unsuccessful people put off projects and tasks until they are ready or all factors seem perfect for them to act on a task. Importantly, to be successful means not waiting but taking charge of a task or a situation as quick as possible. Successful people don’t wait, they act immediately.

2. They are not resolute

Unsuccessful people give up when faced with challenges or obstacles. Fighting to the finish line seems so daunting and they rather settle for a secure or comfortable position. However to attain success you have to be willing to face obstacles and conquer them.

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3. They think and talk negatively

Have you heard the saying that the optimist sees the doughnut but the pessimist sees the hole? Unsuccessful people see problems in every opportunity. They rather make excuses than look for reasons to keep on marching towards a goal. It takes positivity to be successful.

4. They daydream a lot

How much the unsuccessful adore the successful. Yet they are not willing to put the work by taking action. They rather dream all day than create an actionable way to attain their dreams. To reach success one has to be willing to put in the work as well.

5. They don’t admit to their flaws

Unsuccessful people think they have it perfectly laid out. They don’t want to listen to other people’s opinion or learn from their mistakes.

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According to Zig Ziglar, “More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren’t so busy denying them”.

6. They have poor relationships with people

Unsuccessful people do not realize that to surge ahead requires developing and building on relationships. Being able to develop rapport with others is a skill the successful have developed and unsuccessful people should also do.

7. They do not take care of themselves

As much as your desire to be successful, there should be a time you give your body the rest and care it deserves. Unsuccessful people do not see their body as a tool that should be well managed and taken care of, and with this can occur either a physical or a mental breakdown.

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8. They spend time with the wrong people

To trigger success time has to be spent with the right people who are there to offer you the energy, support and direction to keep on going. But the unsuccessful people will rather sit and settle with people who are unsuccessful like them and do not have the ambition to ever be successful.

9. They don’t take risks

No one likes to be disappointed and meet failure. Yet failure is an important element in attaining success. Unsuccessful people have a wrong perspective of failure and are willing not to fail rather than commit themselves to a task or a possible opportunity.

10. They never appreciate others

Unsuccessful people are not willing to share any credit with anyone. They think it bad about them and do not believe in teamwork. It takes appreciation to be successful. You have to be willing to help others grow if you want to be successful.

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11. They are not passionate about work

Unsuccessful people think work results in getting paid or as a survival strategy. Rather success requires you to be passionate about work and willing to help others get what they want.

12. They do not value their time

Unsuccessful people never place a value on their time. To succeed, time has to be managed efficiently and spent on productive pursuits that will lead you to your goals.

13. They are not willing to delay gratification

We live in a “now” age when you want your desires met immediately. Unsuccessful people are not willing to delay gratification or wait for their actions to yield results. It takes patience, tolerance and resilience to pass through challenges and become successful.

14. They are not willing to improve

Unsuccessful people are only positioned for the status quo and not willing to change, adapt or improve. To be successful you have to be willing to constantly develop and improve yourself to match your goals and desires.

15. They don’t believe in themselves.

You have to be self-aware and know what you are capable of achieving. Unsuccessful people are not aware of how much they can achieve and thus doubt their potential or abilities.

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on July 17, 2019

The Science of Setting Goals (And How It Affects Your Brain)

The Science of Setting Goals (And How It Affects Your Brain)

What happens in our heads when we set goals?

Apparently a lot more than you’d think.

Goal setting isn’t quite so simple as deciding on the things you’d like to accomplish and working towards them.

According to the research of psychologists, neurologists, and other scientists, setting a goal invests ourselves into the target as if we’d already accomplished it. That is, by setting something as a goal, however small or large, however near or far in the future, a part of our brain believes that desired outcome is an essential part of who we are – setting up the conditions that drive us to work towards the goals to fulfill the brain’s self-image.

Apparently, the brain cannot distinguish between things we want and things we have. Neurologically, then, our brains treat the failure to achieve our goal the same way as it treats the loss of a valued possession. And up until the moment, the goal is achieved, we have failed to achieve it, setting up a constant tension that the brain seeks to resolve.

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Ideally, this tension is resolved by driving us towards accomplishment. In many cases, though, the brain simply responds to the loss, causing us to feel fear, anxiety, even anguish, depending on the value of the as-yet-unattained goal.

Love, Loss, Dopamine, and Our Dreams

The brains functions are carried out by a stew of chemicals called neurotransmitters. You’ve probably heard of serotonin, which plays a key role in our emotional life – most of the effective anti-depressant medications on the market are serotonin reuptake inhibitors, meaning they regulate serotonin levels in the brain leading to more stable moods.

Somewhat less well-known is another neurotransmitter, dopamine. Among other things, dopamine acts as a motivator, creating a sensation of pleasure when the brain is stimulated by achievement. Dopamine is also involved in maintaining attention – some forms of ADHD are linked to irregular responses to dopamine.[1]

So dopamine plays a key role in keeping us focused on our goals and motivating us to attain them, rewarding our attention and achievement by elevating our mood. That is, we feel good when we work towards our goals.

Dopamine is related to wanting – to desire. The attainment of the object of our desire releases dopamine into our brains and we feel good. Conversely, the frustration of our desires starves us of dopamine, causing anxiety and fear.

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One of the greatest desires is romantic love – the long-lasting, “till death do us part” kind. It’s no surprise, then, that romantic love is sustained, at least in part, through the constant flow of dopamine released in the presence – real or imagined – of our true love. Loss of romantic love cuts off that supply of dopamine, which is why it feels like you’re dying – your brain responds by triggering all sorts of anxiety-related responses.

Herein lies obsession, as we go to ever-increasing lengths in search of that dopamine reward. Stalking specialists warn against any kind of contact with a stalker, positive or negative, because any response at all triggers that reward mechanism. If you let the phone ring 50 times and finally pick up on the 51st ring to tell your stalker off, your stalker gets his or her reward, and learns that all s/he has to do is wait for the phone to ring 51 times.

Romantic love isn’t the only kind of desire that can create this kind of dopamine addiction, though – as Captain Ahab (from Moby Dick) knew well, any suitably important goal can become an obsession once the mind has established ownership.

The Neurology of Ownership

Ownership turns out to be about a lot more than just legal rights. When we own something, we invest a part of ourselves into it – it becomes an extension of ourselves.

In a famous experiment at Cornell University, researchers gave students school logo coffee mugs, and then offered to trade them chocolate bars for the mugs. Very few were willing to make the trade, no matter how much they professed to like chocolate. Big deal, right? Maybe they just really liked those mugs![2]

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But when they reversed the experiment, handing out chocolate and then offering to trade mugs for the candy, they found that now, few students were all that interested in the mugs. Apparently the key thing about the mugs or the chocolate wasn’t whether students valued whatever they had in their possession, but simply that they had it in their possession.

This phenomenon is called the “endowment effect”. In a nutshell, the endowment effect occurs when we take ownership of an object (or idea, or person); in becoming “ours” it becomes integrated with our sense of identity, making us reluctant to part with it (losing it is seen as a loss, which triggers that dopamine shut-off I discussed above).

Interestingly, researchers have found that the endowment effect doesn’t require actual ownership or even possession to come into play. In fact, it’s enough to have a reasonable expectation of future possession for us to start thinking of something as a part of us – as jilted lovers, gambling losers, and 7-year olds denied a toy at the store have all experienced.

The Upshot for Goal-Setters

So what does all this mean for would-be achievers?

On one hand, it’s a warning against setting unreasonable goals. The bigger the potential for positive growth a goal has, the more anxiety and stress your brain is going to create around it’s non-achievement.

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It also suggests that the common wisdom to limit your goals to a small number of reasonable, attainable objectives is good advice. The more goals you have, the more ends your brain thinks it “owns” and therefore the more grief and fear the absence of those ends is going to cause you.

On a more positive note, the fact that the brain rewards our attentiveness by releasing dopamine means that our brain is working with us to direct us to achievement. Paying attention to your goals feels good, encouraging us to spend more time doing it. This may be why outcome visualization — a favorite technique of self-help gurus involving imagining yourself having completed your objectives — has such a poor track record in clinical studies. It effectively tricks our brain into rewarding us for achieving our goals even though we haven’t done it yet!

But ultimately, our brain wants us to achieve our goals, so that it’s a sense of who we are that can be fulfilled. And that’s pretty good news!

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Featured photo credit: Alexa Williams via unsplash.com

Reference

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