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14 Things to Remember When Having a Bad Day. (And Any Other Time.)

14 Things to Remember When Having a Bad Day. (And Any Other Time.)
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Sometimes everything just seems to work out fine. And sometimes, well, it doesn’t.

Here’s 14 powerful reminders to help you find your footing back when life throws you a curveball and things go different than expected.

1.  Some people will not like you and what you do.

And that’s fine. Their opinion is just that – their opinion. And not the absolute truth about you.

2.  You’ll fail.

And that’s fine too. It doesn’t mean you haven’t got what it takes. It just means it didn’t work out as expected. Know that you’ll thrive tomorrow thanks to the mistakes you’re willing to make today.

3.  Success is the action you took, not the result.

Value the effort and dedication you put in – especially when the results are less than what you hoped for. You did show up. You actually took action, and that deserves a pat on the back.

Don’t use any less than results to beat yourself up with. Those results as just feedback to inform your next step – no more, no less.

4.  A should is just a could in disguise.

Don’t should yourself into doing something.

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It’s not because it worked for them that it is right for you. It’s not because you always did something that you need to keep doing it. It’s not because they expect you to do something that you should comply.

Every should holds a choice – even though the should might present itself as a unshakable truth or a must comply with instruction for how to live your life.

Replace the should with a could – literally – and see how all of a sudden abundant possibility opens up.

5.  A halfhearted yes makes everyone lose out – you included.

You, them, the work you are doing – we all lose when you don’t engage 100%.

When you say yes to something, give it your all. And if it’s not a 100% yes, then make it a no.

You’ll be astounded by how much time you’ll free up to spend with people that truly nurture you.  You’ll be amazed by how much time you’ll free up to do things that truly light you up.

6.  A tiny change does make a big difference.

Do just a bit more of what makes your heart sing and soul soar each day. And just a little less of what drains you. You’ll be astounded by what a huge difference those small changes make.

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7.  Slow and steady is good – even when everyone else seems to be moving fast.

Slow and steady can move mountains. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you should take big steps and turn your life upside down overnight because someone else did.

Choose a pace that works for you and keep moving one tiny step at a time.

8.  Other people’s success is not a prescription for how to live your life, nor a measure of your worthiness.

Be inspired by other people who are living their dreams and know that their success doesn’t mean that you are a failure for not being where they are in life.

Use their approach to life as an inspiration to fuel your dreams. See them as an example of what’s possible, but stick to your own voice, your style, your personality, your pace.

Don’t copy them and how they do what they do – you’ll never be able to be as good as the original, nor should you.

9.  All is not as it seems.

Your outside doesn’t always reflect how you feel inside. Neither does their outside always reflect how they feel inside.

So don’t be fooled by appearances. Don’t sabotage yourself by thinking that they always got all the answers, oozing confidence 24/7.

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They search for answers too. They feel small, worried and insecure too. That’s how we all do it.

10.  Rest is not a luxury. Rest is a necessity.

So rest. Vigorously.

Rest is fuel for the soul. It’s not a waste of time, but a life-saver. Don’t save on it.

11.  Laughter truly lights up a bad day.

Yes, that sounds cheesy. But yes, it is the truth – genuine laughter and a dose of playfulness do light up a tense conversation, a gloomy mood, a rainy day.

So laugh. Be goofy. Be playful. A lot. And then some.

12.  You are your soulmate.

Shower yourself with love. Just because. Unapologetically. Unconditionally. And even when the going gets tough.

Love yourself when you’re happy and love yourself when you’re not. Because there’s not a moment when you don’t deserve your love.

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13.  You are a one-of-a-kind original.

Honor what makes you you – instead of hiding it.

Your ideas, your voice, your style, your way of doing things, your work, your dreams – they’re as worthy as anybody else’s.

They’re what make you irresistible to the people who truly get you. They’re what make you irresistible to yourself – fulfilled, joyful and free.

14.  Following your fascination brings you closer to who you truly are.

It might seem crazy, weird, stupid and out-of-character, but explore your fascination nonetheless.

Your fascination is a pointer to something you are longing for, something that you might need to bring into your life. It’s your soul talking to you. Make sure you listen.

 

What do you remind yourself of when having a bad day? What do you tell yourself to find your footing back?

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Featured photo credit: myxabyxe via flickr via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 21, 2021

The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)

The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)
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No matter how well you set up your todo list and calendar, you aren’t going to get things done unless you have a reliable way of reminding yourself to actually do them.

Anyone who’s spent an hour writing up the perfect grocery list only to realize at the store that they forgot to bring the list understands the importance of reminders.

Reminders of some sort or another are what turn a collection of paper goods or web services into what David Allen calls a “trusted system.”[1]

A lot of people resist getting better organized. No matter what kind of chaotic mess, their lives are on a day-to-day basis because they know themselves well enough to know that there’s after all that work they’ll probably forget to take their lists with them when it matters most.

Fortunately, there are ways to make sure we remember to check our lists — and to remember to do the things we need to do, whether they’re on a list or not.

In most cases, we need a lot of pushing at first, for example by making a reminder, but eventually we build up enough momentum that doing what needs doing becomes a habit — not an exception.

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From Creating Reminders to Building Habits

A habit is any act we engage in automatically without thinking about it.

For example, when you brush your teeth, you don’t have to think about every single step from start to finish; once you stagger up to the sink, habit takes over (and, really, habit got you to the sink in the first place) and you find yourself putting toothpaste on your toothbrush, putting the toothbrush in your mouth (and never your ear!), spitting, rinsing, and so on without any conscious effort at all.

This is a good thing because if you’re anything like me, you’re not even capable of conscious thought when you’re brushing your teeth.

The good news is you already have a whole set of productivity habits you’ve built up over the course of your life. The bad news is, a lot of them aren’t very good habits.

That quick game Frogger to “loosen you up” before you get working, that always ends up being 6 hours of Frogger –– that’s a habit. And as you know, habits like that can be hard to break — which is one of the reasons why habits are so important in the first place.

Once you’ve replaced an unproductive habit with a more productive one, the new habit will be just as hard to break as the old one was. Getting there, though, can be a chore!

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The old saw about anything you do for 21 days becoming a habit has been pretty much discredited, but there is a kernel of truth there — anything you do long enough becomes an ingrained behavior, a habit. Some people pick up habits quickly, others over a longer time span, but eventually, the behaviors become automatic.

Building productive habits, then, is a matter of repeating a desired behavior over a long enough period of time that you start doing it without thinking.

But how do you remember to do that? And what about the things that don’t need to be habits — the one-off events, like taking your paycheck stubs to your mortgage banker or making a particular phone call?

The trick to reminding yourself often enough for something to become a habit, or just that one time that you need to do something, is to interrupt yourself in some way in a way that triggers the desired behavior.

The Wonderful Thing About Triggers — Reminders

A trigger is anything that you put “in your way” to remind you to do something. The best triggers are related in some way to the behavior you want to produce.

For instance, if you want to remember to take something to work that you wouldn’t normally take, you might place it in front of the door so you have to pick it up to get out of your house.

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But anything that catches your attention and reminds you to do something can be a trigger. An alarm clock or kitchen timer is a perfect example — when the bell rings, you know to wake up or take the quiche out of the oven. (Hopefully you remember which trigger goes with which behavior!)

If you want to instill a habit, the thing to do is to place a trigger in your path to remind you to do whatever it is you’re trying to make into a habit — and keep it there until you realize that you’ve already done the thing it’s supposed to remind you of.

For instance, a post-it saying “count your calories” placed on the refrigerator door (or maybe on your favorite sugary snack itself)  can help you remember that you’re supposed to be cutting back — until one day you realize that you don’t need to be reminded anymore.

These triggers all require a lot of forethought, though — you have to remember that you need to remember something in the first place.

For a lot of tasks, the best reminder is one that’s completely automated — you set it up and then forget about it, trusting the trigger to pop up when you need it.

How to Make a Reminder Works for You

Computers and ubiquity of mobile Internet-connected devices make it possible to set up automatic triggers for just about anything.

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Desktop software like Outlook will pop up reminders on your desktop screen, and most online services go an extra step and send reminders via email or SMS text message — just the thing to keep you on track. Sandy, for example, just does automatic reminders.

Automated reminders can help you build habits — but it can also help you remember things that are too important to be trusted even to habit. Diabetics who need to take their insulin, HIV patients whose medication must be taken at an exact time in a precise order, phone calls that have to be made exactly on time, and other crucial events require triggers even when the habit is already in place.

My advice is to set reminders for just about everything — have them sent to your mobile phone in some way (either through a built-in calendar or an online service that sends updates) so you never have to think about it — and never have to worry about forgetting.

Your weekly review is a good time to enter new reminders for the coming weeks or months. I simply don’t want to think about what I’m supposed to be doing; I want to be reminded so I can think just about actually doing it.

I tend to use my calendar for reminders, mostly, though I do like Sandy quite a bit.

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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Reference

[1] Getting Things Done: Trusted System

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