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14 Things Mentally Strong People Do Differently To Be More Successful

14 Things Mentally Strong People Do Differently To Be More Successful

We’ve all had our moments in life when we feel like we just can’t take it anymore. Life gets us down. We feel beaten, broken, and like there’s no way out. But what is the difference between the people who can turn it around and make lemonade out of lemons? It all lies in how you think. If you are mentally strong, you can be happy in many different situations. If you want to be one of those people, here are 14 things that they do in order to be successful:

1. They control their emotions.

Mentally strong people don’t let their emotions control them. That’s not to say that they don’t have emotions. They do. They just don’t let them overwhelm them in any given situation. They have the ability to step outside themselves and put their logical side in the driver’s seat, while keeping the emotional part of themselves on the passenger’s side.

2. They re-frame the situation.

Instead of looking at obstacles as problems, mentally strong people see them as learning opportunities. They don’t see tragedy, they see triumph. They realize things could always be worse. They know that other people are worse off than them. So they immediately (or eventually) re-frame the situation in more positive terms.

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3. They stay calm.

If they are facing a crisis, they don’t freak out for very long. For example, if they find out that they are going to be laid off from their job, they don’t sink into a deep depression or start crying and screaming about it. They simply breathe, center themselves, and decide that everything will turn out fine. Then they take action immediately to solve the problem (like starting to apply to new jobs).

4. They accept things they can’t change.

You have to pay taxes. You can’t change that. You have to pay your mortgage if you want to keep your house. You can’t change that. You have to get along with your spouse or co-workers. And you can’t change them. So all you can do is accept the things you can’t change. That’s what mentally strong people do. They know the difference between what they can and can’t change. And they simply accept it because to do otherwise would only be putting more negative energy into the situation.

5. They appreciate what they have.

I know a lot of people who have absolutely wonderful lives but the do nothing but complain about what they don’t have. Mentally strong people don’t do that. They know they are lucky. They look at what they do have and give regular thanks and appreciation for it all. The emotion of appreciation has one of the highest vibrations, and it brings more goodness into your life.

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6. They don’t dwell on the negatives.

Instead of seeing the glass as half empty or even half full, mentally strong people see the glass as always full – half liquid and half air. They focus on solutions. For example, if they have marriage problems, they focus on what they love about their spouse, not what they don’t. Then they work with the other person to find solutions.

7. They take personal responsibility for their thoughts and actions.

If something goes wrong in their life, they don’t point the finger at other people. Mentally strong people know that they are the only ones who are in charge of their successes or failures. They never see themselves as a victim.

8. They love themselves.

A lot of people think that self-love is the same as being conceited or having a big ego. That is far from the truth. People who truly love themselves don’t go around telling others how great they are because they don’t have to. People already know they are awesome because they see their greatness. And mentally strong people love themselves and believe they are capable of doing anything.

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9. They learn from the past.

Many people like to put their heads in the sand and ignore the past – especially when it is painful looking back. But mentally strong people know that their past has made them into who they are today. They look at what did and didn’t work in the past, and they do it better in the future. As Maya Angelou says, “When you know better, you do better.” Mentally strong people don’t see the past in terms of ‘mistakes’ or ‘failures,’ they see these things as ‘lessons learned.’

10. They change what they can.

As I said in point 4, some things you can’t change. But most of the things in life are changeable. So if a mentally strong person doesn’t like their job, they look for a new one. If their relationships aren’t up to par, they talk to the person so they can work on it. They don’t settle for being stagnant. They keep moving forward by implementing positive change.

11. They are self-reflective.

Mentally strong people continually examine themselves to understand why they are the way they are. It’s a skill that can be developed by almost anyone, but mentally strong people have mastered it. They know who they are and how their behavior is affecting their life and their relationships. You can’t change what you don’t recognize, and they know that.

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12. They have self-discipline.

Sure, we all have things we dislike doing. But while many people go into avoidance or procrastination mode, mentally strong people train their minds to do what they need to do. They don’t shy away from taking actions that might not be pleasurable if they need to be done. They welcome the challenge and hold themselves accountable.

13. They don’t get jealous of other people.

The ‘Green-Eyed Monster’ can be a terrible thing. Many people are constantly comparing themselves to others and thinking they are inferior. People who are mentally strong don’t do that. They appreciate what they have and realize that everyone is different. Everyone has their own path. They celebrate everyone’s success – including their own.

14. They keep going.

Mentally strong people never give up. They never see themselves as a failure. If things aren’t going according to plan, they just make a new plan. They don’t get stuck. They are always moving forward toward making a better future.

If you think you’re not mentally strong, don’t worry. You can get there. All it takes is the desire to actually do it. And practice. But it can be done. So make a decision right now that you not only can – but will – become mentally strong.

To your success!!!

More by this author

Carol Morgan

Dr. Carol Morgan is the owner of HerSideHisSide.com, a communication professor, dating & relationship coach, TV personality, speaker, and author.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

The Power of Ritual: Conquer Procrastination, Time Wasters and Laziness

The Power of Ritual: Conquer Procrastination, Time Wasters and Laziness

Life is wasted in the in-between times. The time between when your alarm first rings and when you finally decide to get out of bed. The time between when you sit at your desk and when productive work begins. The time between making a decision and doing something about it.

Slowly, your day is whittled away from all the unused in-between moments. Eventually, time wasters, laziness, and procrastination get the better of you.

The solution to reclaim these lost middle moments is by creating rituals. Every culture on earth uses rituals to transfer information and encode behaviors that are deemed important. Personal rituals can help you build a better pattern for handling everything from how you wake up to how you work.

Unfortunately, when most people see rituals, they see pointless superstitions. Indeed, many rituals are based on a primitive understanding of the world. But by building personal rituals, you get to encode the behaviors you feel are important and cut out the wasted middle moments.

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Program Your Own Algorithms

Another way of viewing rituals is by seeing them as computer algorithms. An algorithm is a set of instructions that is repeated to get a result.

Some algorithms are highly efficient, sorting or searching millions of pieces of data in a few seconds. Other algorithms are bulky and awkward, taking hours to do the same task.

By forming rituals, you are building algorithms for your behavior. Take the delayed and painful pattern of waking up, debating whether to sleep in for another two minutes, hitting the snooze button, repeat until almost late for work. This could be reprogrammed to get out of bed immediately, without debating your decision.

How to Form a Ritual

I’ve set up personal rituals for myself for handling e-mail, waking up each morning, writing articles, and reading books. Far from making me inflexible, these rituals give me a useful default pattern that works best 99% of the time. Whenever my current ritual won’t work, I’m always free to stop using it.

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Forming a ritual isn’t too difficult, and the same principles for changing habits apply:

  1. Write out your sequence of behavior. I suggest starting with a simple ritual of only 3-4 steps maximum. Wait until you’ve established a ritual before you try to add new steps.
  2. Commit to following your ritual for thirty days. This step will take the idea and condition it into your nervous system as a habit.
  3. Define a clear trigger. When does your ritual start? A ritual to wake up is easy—the sound of your alarm clock will work. As for what triggers you to go to the gym, read a book or answer e-mail—you’ll have to decide.
  4. Tweak the Pattern. Your algorithm probably won’t be perfectly efficient the first time. Making a few tweaks after the first 30-day trial can make your ritual more useful.

Ways to Use a Ritual

Based on the above ideas, here are some ways you could implement your own rituals:

1. Waking Up

Set up a morning ritual for when you wake up and the next few things you do immediately afterward. To combat the grogginess after immediately waking up, my solution is to do a few pushups right after getting out of bed. After that, I sneak in ninety minutes of reading before getting ready for morning classes.

2. Web Usage

How often do you answer e-mail, look at Google Reader, or check Facebook each day? I found by taking all my daily internet needs and compressing them into one, highly-efficient ritual, I was able to cut off 75% of my web time without losing any communication.

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3. Reading

How much time do you get to read books? If your library isn’t as large as you’d like, you might want to consider the rituals you use for reading. Programming a few steps to trigger yourself to read instead of watching television or during a break in your day can chew through dozens of books each year.

4. Friendliness

Rituals can also help with communication. Set up a ritual of starting a conversation when you have opportunities to meet people.

5. Working

One of the hardest barriers when overcoming procrastination is building up a concentrated flow. Building those steps into a ritual can allow you to quickly start working or continue working after an interruption.

6. Going to the gym

If exercising is a struggle, encoding a ritual can remove a lot of the difficulty. Set up a quick ritual for going to exercise right after work or when you wake up.

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7. Exercise

Even within your workouts, you can have rituals. Spacing the time between runs or reps with a certain number of breaths can remove the guesswork. Forming a ritual of doing certain exercises in a particular order can save time.

8. Sleeping

Form a calming ritual in the last 30-60 minutes of your day before you go to bed. This will help slow yourself down and make falling asleep much easier. Especially if you plan to get up full of energy in the morning, it will help if you remove insomnia.

8. Weekly Reviews

The weekly review is a big part of the GTD system. By making a simple ritual checklist for my weekly review, I can get the most out of this exercise in less time. Originally, I did holistic reviews where I wrote my thoughts on the week and progress as a whole. Now, I narrow my focus toward specific plans, ideas, and measurements.

Final Thoughts

We all want to be productive. But time wasters, procrastination, and laziness sometimes get the better of us. If you’re facing such difficulties, don’t be afraid to make use of these rituals to help you conquer them.

More Tips to Conquer Time Wasters and Procrastination

 

Featured photo credit: RODOLFO BARRETO via unsplash.com

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