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10 Things Extraordinary People Don’t Do

10 Things Extraordinary People Don’t Do

We all observe astonishing things happening around us, and the people behind them. We want to know how we can follow them. Sometimes we think this success is unattainable, yet some people seem to get ahead, no matter what. They aren’t certainly cleverer, more creative or hard working than many others. Still, they accomplish bigger things than their peers.

I would say there are lessons here that have the power to radically change your life over a period of time. These extraordinary successes become extraordinary by avoiding, escaping and neglecting a few unusual things. Here are some of the things extraordinary people don’t do habitually:

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1. They don’t look at short-term goals

Extraordinary people foresee not what is attainable, possible or feasible, but rather what is impossible. Achieving something extraordinary is not a short-term project. So, it’s important to look at the big picture, thinking about where you’d like to be in one, five or even ten years from now.

2. They don’t forget to examine daily plans

Extraordinary people write down their aims, they make plans and strategize to accomplish them every day.  They pay attention to a daily routine of goal setting and focus on reaching them.

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3. They don’t hesitate to compliment

A courageous, extraordinary person knows the strength of others.  He passes honest admiration whenever possible.  To be a successful and respected person, start observing what you like and admire about others. By doing this, you will be actually making an investment that doesn’t cost you anything but in return you will get astonishing results.

4. They don’t quit something worthwhile

Sometimes, there are things that are worth the chance and when you find them, nothing can match your success. Successful people can identify what is worth to have and visualize the perfect path to success. In fact, more or less all extraordinary people we know in business, sport and entertainment have failed. A lot of them have failed many times but they never gave up. Effective people are able to pick worth things in a project, they recognize them and carry on trying.

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5. They don’t stop sharing something great

Extraordinary people unconditionally share their success, knowledge and information that could be beneficial to the individual associated with them. They engage with and help each other, suggesting books, videos for motivation, answering questions and providing support, no matter how distinctive the goals of each person are.

6. They don’t go against their values

Extraordinary people know who they are and stay true to their values.  They choose goals that are lined up with themselves and recognize that their values influence their principles and their principles influence their expectations and their expectations influence their approach and their approach influences their movements and actions.

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7. They don’t hesitate to help

Exceptional leaders know the difference between “I want to help” and “How can I help?” Many people hesitate to ask for help and take it as a sign of weakness. Great people find ways to help others. They offer help in such way that gives an impression of cooperation, not superior or complimentary. They portray the behavior they want their employees to display.

8. They don’t waste their time

Effective people manage the use of their time.  They give a specific time to work on accomplishing goals and they protect themselves against time wasting activities.  Rather than live a life of continuous interruption, they apply time management, ordering and prioritize their most valuable asset – Time

9. They don’t focus on themselves

Extraordinary people don’t focus on themselves, but they leave a legacy. They set examples to be remembered for something positive. So, to be a successful and extraordinary person who’s remembered, leave a positive impression during all interactions.

10. They don’t undervalue small things

Extraordinary people learn to delegate themselves effectively. They find success in life by paying attention to the small things rather than to the larger things.  Getting organized to finish little projects in progress is an important first step toward realizing larger goals. If you can’t handle small things, you can never focus on the big things.

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Tayyab Babar

Tayyab is a PR/Marketing consultant. He writes about work, productivity and tech tips at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on July 17, 2019

The Science of Setting Goals (And How It Affects Your Brain)

The Science of Setting Goals (And How It Affects Your Brain)

What happens in our heads when we set goals?

Apparently a lot more than you’d think.

Goal setting isn’t quite so simple as deciding on the things you’d like to accomplish and working towards them.

According to the research of psychologists, neurologists, and other scientists, setting a goal invests ourselves into the target as if we’d already accomplished it. That is, by setting something as a goal, however small or large, however near or far in the future, a part of our brain believes that desired outcome is an essential part of who we are – setting up the conditions that drive us to work towards the goals to fulfill the brain’s self-image.

Apparently, the brain cannot distinguish between things we want and things we have. Neurologically, then, our brains treat the failure to achieve our goal the same way as it treats the loss of a valued possession. And up until the moment, the goal is achieved, we have failed to achieve it, setting up a constant tension that the brain seeks to resolve.

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Ideally, this tension is resolved by driving us towards accomplishment. In many cases, though, the brain simply responds to the loss, causing us to feel fear, anxiety, even anguish, depending on the value of the as-yet-unattained goal.

Love, Loss, Dopamine, and Our Dreams

The brains functions are carried out by a stew of chemicals called neurotransmitters. You’ve probably heard of serotonin, which plays a key role in our emotional life – most of the effective anti-depressant medications on the market are serotonin reuptake inhibitors, meaning they regulate serotonin levels in the brain leading to more stable moods.

Somewhat less well-known is another neurotransmitter, dopamine. Among other things, dopamine acts as a motivator, creating a sensation of pleasure when the brain is stimulated by achievement. Dopamine is also involved in maintaining attention – some forms of ADHD are linked to irregular responses to dopamine.[1]

So dopamine plays a key role in keeping us focused on our goals and motivating us to attain them, rewarding our attention and achievement by elevating our mood. That is, we feel good when we work towards our goals.

Dopamine is related to wanting – to desire. The attainment of the object of our desire releases dopamine into our brains and we feel good. Conversely, the frustration of our desires starves us of dopamine, causing anxiety and fear.

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One of the greatest desires is romantic love – the long-lasting, “till death do us part” kind. It’s no surprise, then, that romantic love is sustained, at least in part, through the constant flow of dopamine released in the presence – real or imagined – of our true love. Loss of romantic love cuts off that supply of dopamine, which is why it feels like you’re dying – your brain responds by triggering all sorts of anxiety-related responses.

Herein lies obsession, as we go to ever-increasing lengths in search of that dopamine reward. Stalking specialists warn against any kind of contact with a stalker, positive or negative, because any response at all triggers that reward mechanism. If you let the phone ring 50 times and finally pick up on the 51st ring to tell your stalker off, your stalker gets his or her reward, and learns that all s/he has to do is wait for the phone to ring 51 times.

Romantic love isn’t the only kind of desire that can create this kind of dopamine addiction, though – as Captain Ahab (from Moby Dick) knew well, any suitably important goal can become an obsession once the mind has established ownership.

The Neurology of Ownership

Ownership turns out to be about a lot more than just legal rights. When we own something, we invest a part of ourselves into it – it becomes an extension of ourselves.

In a famous experiment at Cornell University, researchers gave students school logo coffee mugs, and then offered to trade them chocolate bars for the mugs. Very few were willing to make the trade, no matter how much they professed to like chocolate. Big deal, right? Maybe they just really liked those mugs![2]

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But when they reversed the experiment, handing out chocolate and then offering to trade mugs for the candy, they found that now, few students were all that interested in the mugs. Apparently the key thing about the mugs or the chocolate wasn’t whether students valued whatever they had in their possession, but simply that they had it in their possession.

This phenomenon is called the “endowment effect”. In a nutshell, the endowment effect occurs when we take ownership of an object (or idea, or person); in becoming “ours” it becomes integrated with our sense of identity, making us reluctant to part with it (losing it is seen as a loss, which triggers that dopamine shut-off I discussed above).

Interestingly, researchers have found that the endowment effect doesn’t require actual ownership or even possession to come into play. In fact, it’s enough to have a reasonable expectation of future possession for us to start thinking of something as a part of us – as jilted lovers, gambling losers, and 7-year olds denied a toy at the store have all experienced.

The Upshot for Goal-Setters

So what does all this mean for would-be achievers?

On one hand, it’s a warning against setting unreasonable goals. The bigger the potential for positive growth a goal has, the more anxiety and stress your brain is going to create around it’s non-achievement.

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It also suggests that the common wisdom to limit your goals to a small number of reasonable, attainable objectives is good advice. The more goals you have, the more ends your brain thinks it “owns” and therefore the more grief and fear the absence of those ends is going to cause you.

On a more positive note, the fact that the brain rewards our attentiveness by releasing dopamine means that our brain is working with us to direct us to achievement. Paying attention to your goals feels good, encouraging us to spend more time doing it. This may be why outcome visualization — a favorite technique of self-help gurus involving imagining yourself having completed your objectives — has such a poor track record in clinical studies. It effectively tricks our brain into rewarding us for achieving our goals even though we haven’t done it yet!

But ultimately, our brain wants us to achieve our goals, so that it’s a sense of who we are that can be fulfilled. And that’s pretty good news!

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Featured photo credit: Alexa Williams via unsplash.com

Reference

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