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Why You Should Never Make Wishes

Why You Should Never Make Wishes

    Next time you come across a wishing well or fountain, don’t fall for it. You can still pitch in a coin or two if it’s for a good cause but just don’t make a wish like you are suppose to. In fact, you should NEVER make wishes if you want to be successful at anything.

    Too often we end up wishing for things. We wish we could have more money. We wish we could be better looking. We wish we could be in better shape.

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    What I would like to do is propose that you wipe out the word ‘wish’ from your vocabulary. Instead, replace it with the word ‘commitment’. So instead of making wishes for the things you want in life, make commitments instead.

    Make Fully Committed Decisions

    When I do my motivational keynotes, I tell my audiences to make ‘fully committed decisions’. That is, they should make strong decisions to pursue their goals with total commitment instead of just wishing to become successful.

    This may seem like a simple play on words to some people but there is indeed a significant difference between making totally committed decisions and simply making wishes. Whenever commitment is involved, there will be a much stronger incentive to take whatever action is required to work towards achieving your goals.

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    Example Of Commitment

    Early on in my martial arts competition career, I marveled at the World Champions I saw. I wished that I could perform martial arts at their level. I wished that I could become a World Champion myself. I trained regularly but didn’t really excel in competition at the beginning.

    Then instead of merely wishing to become a World Champion, I made a totally committed decision to try my darn hardest to work towards a World Championship title. I decided that I would do whatever it takes to win. I even had this down on paper.

    This commitment automatically resulted in certain actions that I didn’t do before. In addition to committing myself to a strict training schedule, I booked myself to attend more major tournaments across the continent just so I could get more exposure to the top competitors in order to learn from their performances. I accepted that fact that I wasn’t going to win right away at these bigger events.

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    I also found and connected with a few past World Champions. These past champions were in the position to offer me some private coaching sessions even though I had to fly somewhere to meet up with them (and pay hefty fees). My justification was that the best people to learn from are those who have already accomplished what you are aiming to do.

    I don’t remember exactly when I made this mindshift from just wishing to actually making a totally committed decision to become a World Champion. But I do know that the progress was not quick. However, there was steady progress over several years and in 1999, I finally became a Karate World Champion for the very first time.

    Steps To Move From Wishes To Commitments

    So based on my experiences so far, here are the major steps to move from simple wishes to major commitments for your success.

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    1. Identify what you wish for in life (career, health, finances, relationships, etc.)
    2. Extract the goals you are willing to make fully committed decisions on
    3. Write these fully committed decisions down on paper and sign it as a self contract
    4. Announce these commitments to others

    The reason why this mindshift works is because commitment does interesting things to our heads. It helps set us up in a way so that we end up doing the things we have to do in order to become successful. Making totally committed decisions will have a positive, profound impact on your life.

    Please feel free to share what commitments you have made in your life below.

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    Last Updated on June 13, 2019

    5 Fixes For Common Sleep Issues All Couples Deal With

    5 Fixes For Common Sleep Issues All Couples Deal With

    Sleeping next to your partner can be a satisfying experience and is typically seen as the mark of a stable, healthy home life. However, many more people struggle to share a bed with their partner than typically let on. Sleeping beside someone can decrease your sleep quality which negatively affects your life. Maybe you are light sleepers and you wake each other up throughout the night. Maybe one has a loud snoring habit that’s keeping the other awake. Maybe one is always crawling into bed in the early hours of the morning while the other likes to go to bed at 10 p.m.

    You don’t have to feel ashamed of finding it difficult to sleep with your partner and you also don’t have to give up entirely on it. Common problems can be addressed with simple solutions such as an additional pillow. Here are five fixes for common sleep issues that couples deal with.

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    1. Use a bigger mattress to sleep through movement

    It can be difficult to sleep through your partner’s tossing and turning all night, particularly if they have to get in and out of bed. Waking up multiple times in one night can leave you frustrated and exhausted. The solution may be a switch to a bigger mattress or a mattress that minimizes movement.

    Look for a mattress that allows enough space so that your partner can move around without impacting you or consider a mattress made for two sleepers like the Sleep Number bed.[1] This bed allows each person to choose their own firmness level. It also minimizes any disturbances their partner might feel. A foam mattress like the kind featured in advertisements where someone jumps on a bed with an unspilled glass of wine will help minimize the impact of your partner’s movements.[2]

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    2. Communicate about scheduling conflicts

    If one of you is a night owl and the other an early riser, bedtime can become a source of conflict. It’s hard for a light sleeper to be jostled by their partner coming to bed four hours after them. Talk to your partner about negotiating some compromises. If you’re finding it difficult to agree on a bedtime, negotiate with your partner. Don’t come to bed before or after a certain time, giving the early bird a chance to fully fall asleep before the other comes in. Consider giving the night owl an eye mask to allow them to stay in bed while their partner gets up to start the day.

    3. Don’t bring your technology to bed

    If one partner likes bringing devices to bed and the other partner doesn’t, there’s very little compromise to be found. Science is pretty unanimous on the fact that screens can cause harm to a healthy sleeper. Both partners should agree on a time to keep technology out of the bedroom or turn screens off. This will prevent both partners from having their sleep interrupted and can help you power down after a long day.

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    4. White noise and changing positions can silence snoring

    A snoring partner can be one of the most difficult things to sleep through. Snoring tends to be position-specific so many doctors recommend switching positions to stop the snoring. Rather than sleeping on your back doctors recommend turning onto your side. Changing positions can cut down on noise and breathing difficulties for any snorer. Using a white noise fan, or sound machine can also help soften the impact of loud snoring and keep both partners undisturbed.

    5. Use two blankets if one’s a blanket hog

    If you’ve got a blanket hog in your bed don’t fight it, get another blanket. This solution fixes any issues between two partners and their comforter. There’s no rule that you have to sleep under the same blanket. Separate covers can also cut down on tossing and turning making it a multi-useful adaptation.

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    Rather than giving up entirely on sharing a bed with your partner, try one of these techniques to improve your sleeping habits. Sleeping in separate beds can be a normal part of a healthy home life, but compromise can go a long way toward creating harmony in a shared bed.

    Featured photo credit: Becca Tapert via unsplash.com

    Reference

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