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Why You Need to Say No! More Often

Why You Need to Say No! More Often

It’s so hard to say “no”.

Why?

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It makes us feel selfish, guilty, embarrassed even. We don’t want to upset people. We don’t want them to think badly of us. Sometimes it’s simply easier to say “yes,” than to deal with our angst or other people’s reactions. But what is this behavior costing us?

When we give a “yes” when there ought to be a “no”, we give away a little piece of ourselves. We relinquish our power, our control and disrespect our needs by making them less important than the needs of others. We disrespect our needs or wants by making choices that don’t support us. We justify it; it’s just this one time, it’s for a good cause, it won’t take too long, it’s not that big a deal. It is a big deal. Every time you do this, you are making a choice to ignore what your heart, your mind, or your gut is telling you.

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The Benefits of “Say No”

  1. The Stress Factor. Saying “yes” when you really want to say “no” is a major stressor for your mind and body. It causes anxiety, tension, aches and pains, often causes us to lose sleep as well. It’s unquestionably not the lone cause of stress, but it might be among the easiest to control.
  2. Get Rid of Toxic PeopleYou don’t really want these people in your life anyway, do you? These are advantage takers, the leechers, the complainers, the gossip-mongers, the responsibility-duckers. They are master manipulators who use guilt and manipulation to pressure you into a “yes.” If you consistently give a firm “no” they’ll eventually go away and find some other, weaker target.
  3. Save Time. We only have so many hours in the day. We can’t do anything about that, but we can control how we use that time. Don’t let others determine your to-do list or set your set agenda. You are giving away your precious time! It’s important to use your time in the way that honors your priorities, helps you reach your goals and serves your needs. You decide what’s worth your time and what’s not.
  4. More Energy. Taking on things that you don’t want to do or don’t have time for, wastes valuable energy that you could be spending on those things you do care about. Pour that energy into doing a better job on those activities that you really must do or choose to do. More energy helps you feel better, be happier, and have greater productivity.
  5. Increase Focus. Say “yes” to people and things that are relevant to your goals. Say “no” to those things take you away from your goals and make you lose your focus. Focus on those things that help you learn and grow both personally and professionally, things that spark your interests or speak to you in some way.  Whenever it’s possible, say “no” to everything else.
  6. Gain Strength. Every time you say “no” to others, you’re saying “yes” to yourself. You’re taking back control of your life by not allowing others to make decisions for you. You gain confidence when you stand firm and honor your boundaries. Surprisingly you also gain the respect. When you’re clear and firm about you will and won’t do, people actually respect you more. They may be unhappy with you, but they’ll respect you.  
  7. Enjoy Life More. Life is so much more enjoyable when you begin to say “No” to things that drain you. The same is true in your work life. If you make an effort to try to limit your time and effort to work activities that enjoy or that you actually are responsible for, you’ll find that work is much more fun.

It gets easier to give the “no,” the more often you do. It’ll probably be uncomfortable for a while. We squirm at the thought of disappointing others, even when we’re letting ourselves down in the process. Your needs, your time, your goals, and what’s important in your life have to be your decision-making guides. It just takes some getting used to.

Repeat after me: “NO.” You can do it!

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Featured photo credit: Serious pretty woman making stop hand sign via Shutterstock

 

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More by this author

Royale Scuderi

A creative strategist, consultant and writer who specializes in cultivating human potential for happiness, health and fulfillment.

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

10 Small Changes To Make Your House Feel Like A Home

10 Small Changes To Make Your House Feel Like A Home

Your house is more than just a building that you live in. It should be a home that makes you feel welcome as soon as you open the front door.

Making your house feel like a home is not something that simply happens on its own. You need to make some changes to a house when you move in, to give it that cozy, warm feeling that turns it into a true home. To help you speed the process, follow this guide to 10 small changes to make your house feel like a home.

1. Make the Windows Your Own

When you move into a home, they often come with boring Venetian blinds or less than attractive curtains.

One of the best ways you can instantly warm your home and make it showcase your style is to add some new window dressing. Adding beautiful curtains not only improves your home’s appearance, but it can also help to control the temperature.

2. Put up Some Art

If you have a lot of bare walls in your home, it will seem sterile no matter how beautiful your paint or wallpaper is.

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Hanging art on the walls will instantly give it personality and make it feel like home.

3. Improve the Aroma

A house that is not filled with inviting smells will never feel like a home. There are loads of ways you can make your home smell nice. There are tons of air fresheners on the market you can use.

Incense and scented candles are a nice option as well. Don’t forget that baking in a home is also a great way to fill it with an aroma that instantly smells like home as soon as you open the front door.

4. Put out Lots of Pillows and Throws

A great way to make your home look warm and inviting is to place lots of pillows and throws out on the furniture. It is much better to have too many pillows than not enough.

There is nothing like the feeling of sinking into a cushiony pillow that feels like a cloud to make you feel like you are at home.

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5. Instantly Class up Your Closet

If your closet is filled with wire or plastic hangers, it will never truly feel homey. To instantly make your closet feel classy, change out your old hangers for wooden ones.

Not only do they look great, but they are better for hanging your clothes as well.

6. Improve Your Air Quality

One of the most overlooked ways to make your house feel more like a home is to improve its air quality.

The easiest and best way to upgrade the air quality in your home is to change the old, dirty filters in your furnace regularly. Get some air filters delivered to your home so that you always have some on hand.

7. Fill it with Plants

Another way to improve the air quality in your home is to fill it with plants. You should have plants in every room of your home.

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They help to improve the air quality and they look beautiful. As well as making your home appear homier, plants also help to boost your mood and lower your stress levels.

8. Change the Doorknobs

Most people don’t really give their doorknobs a second thought unless they are broken. That is a shame because changing your doorknobs is an easy way to add personality to your home.

Changing your old, boring doorknobs to new ones that are works of art will instantly brighten your home.

9. Upgrade Your Tub or Shower

There is nothing like luxuriating in a whirlpool bath or steam shower to make the cares of the day melt away. Your family deserves a bit of luxury when they are in their bathroom.

Install a new shower or tub today to make your bathroom worthy of a place in your home.

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10. Fresh Cut Flowers

You can make any room in your house feel homier by placing a vase full of beautiful flowers in it. The gorgeous look and intoxicating aroma of fresh cut flowers will immediately brighten your day when you encounter them.

You don’t have to make all these changes at once. Try one or two a day though, and your house will feel like a home before you know it. The trick is to constantly keep adding these homey touches to make your home a place worthy of its name.

Featured photo credit: https://www.pexels.com/photo/black-wooden-round-analog-wall-clock-on-brown-wooden-wall-121537/ via unsplash.com

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