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Parenting Advice You Really Should (and Shouldn’t) Follow

Parenting Advice You Really Should (and Shouldn’t) Follow

There was a time, not so long ago, when bottle feeding your baby and letting them “cry it out” was practically a patriotic duty. Then came self-esteem building, attachment parenting and a strong movement back towards breastfeeding. Add to that the great body of parenting folklore culled from across the ages (didn’t you know that giving them bread crusts to eat will make their hair curly, while carrots will improve their vision?), and it can be incredibly difficult as a new parent to tell whether you’re turning your kids into superheroes or single-handedly ruining their lives. More recently, the rise of parenting advice blogs has led to the development of some supportive communities for sorting out all of these conflicting ideas (and, well, just for venting about what a day with kids is like), while others have served only to increase each parent’s access to a wellspring of unsolicited opinions and judgmental biases. So, just what advice should you follow and what should you leave by the wayside? We’ve taken a look at all of the data and accompanying anecdotes for a sense of what works and what doesn’t.

1. When in Doubt, Ask for Cash…Ermh… “Savings”

Do it! Here’s a fact about little ones: they’re far more interested in the wrapping paper and box than they are in the actual present they contain. Obvious, right? Then why do we still feel that when friends and family ask what they should get the kids for their birthdays/the holidays/just because, we have to rack our brains for a gift they’re going to outgrow either physically or mentally in a matter of months? Cold, hard cash would obviously be far more useful to receive when the kids are young, as you’d be able to just go out and buy the things you know they need. But since cash is still a taboo thing to ask for, asking for something like savings bonds is a much better way to go, as they’ll grow right along with your little tyke. Is there really a better gift, after all, then sending your kid off to college with spending money or even without student debt? That’s a possibility when you go this route. Granted, once your child is past a certain age and has more of a will of their own, savings bonds are about as interesting as socks, so this tip may have a shelf life.

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2. Joke Around

Do it! As parents, it’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day tasks of family life, whether that’s sneaking in a load of laundry in the precious 15 minutes they actually nap or disciplining unacceptable behavior. But, you know, laughing matters too. In fact, taking the time to joke and play with your child will not only help you both relax and enjoy your relationship a bit more, but it will also help teach your child how to handle life’s stresses and navigate social situations. Additionally, as a parent, it’s important to make peace with the fact that you’re just not going to win every battle, and that if you try to, you’ll probably meet an early grave. While you want to be consistent, of course, don’t forget to jar yourself every now again, let go and smile.

3. Praise Your Kids. A Lot. For Everything.

Don’t do it! For years, child development experts heavily promoted self-esteem-building parenting based on lavishing praise for just about everything. When you hear people complain about how everyone at the t-ball championships gets a trophy whether or not they win, this is exactly what they’re referring to. Turns out, constant praise actually lowers self-esteem. Why? It makes it impossible for the child to sort out what praise is coming from simply existing and what is stemming from actual hard work and achievement. Put another way, it puts too much of an emphasis on being great “just the way you are,” and not enough emphasis on working to achieve a goal. Accordingly, when an overly praised child encounters anything remotely challenging — which pretty much summarizes all of learning — they’re far more likely to give up than to push through. In the long term, this leads to a lack of self-discipline and achievement, and yes, lowered self-esteem. However, that’s not to say we need to return to the kind of boarding school atmosphere you’d encounter in a Roald Dahl book. Instead, just save your praise for moments when your child truly does something amazing. Every other time, provide warm, positive feedback focused more on the work they’re putting in than their intrinsic ability. That means saying something like, “You’re doing a great job learning piano and I know if you keep on working hard you’re going to really excel,” rather than, “Wow, you’re so talented at piano!” Not only will this inspire your child to keep at it with discipline and hard work, but it also means that should they “fail” anywhere down the line, they’ll take it as a matter of needing to continue working hard, rather than some intrinsic lack of ability.

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4. Create a Bedtime Routine as Early as Possible

Do it! Yes, yes, I know, setting a bedtime routine is easier said than done, but doing so will make your whole family happier, child included. It will also give your child an initial sense of structure and routine, which will make transitions into school and preschool easier further down the line. And if you incorporate reading into the routine as well, you’ll be killing two birds with one stone, setting them up for a lifetime of literacy and learning.

5. Clean. Everything. All the Time.

Don’t do it! I mean sure, clean, but chill out a bit about it. Yes, the world is a filthy, germ-ridden place, but in fact many common health tips are actually old wives’ tales. Plus, your kid won’t build up an immune system without some exposure, and if you’re using harsh chemicals to clean, you’re doing more damage than good — especially if you’re relying heavily on cleaners with any kind of antibiotic, as this can increase and spread antibiotic resistance. Of course, this isn’t a call to send your kids to the ICU just for funsies. Hygiene is still a must, but relax knowing that hand washing, vaccination, and keeping high-germ areas like the kitchen and the bathroom cleaner than others will pretty much have you covered.

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6. Don’t compare yourself to other parents

Do it! Ermh, meaning, take this advice and stop comparing yourself to other parents. Why? Because many different parenting approaches work, and it’s better to find what works for you and your family than to worry too much about what everyone else is doing. Not only will this drive you crazy and set you up for failure, but you’ll also do a poor job of implementing someone else’s technique when it doesn’t feel like you. “Yes, eat all of those Brussels sprouts, or else you’ll… die or something…” Other parents can be good for exchanging horror stories and some manner of tips, but this can also easily turn into feeling bad about your supposed “failures.” What’s more, not only are you an individual with your individual parenting style, but your kid is an individual too, and they’re bound to develop at their own rate and in their own way. Unless it’s an important milestone, like talking before the age of, say, five, just go with your gut, trust your instincts, and try not to get too caught up in what other people have to say.

7. Take Time for Yourself (and Go Easy on Yourself!)

Do it! To piggyback on the above, it’s important to embrace the idea that you’re not always going to be the “perfect parent.” The more you can laugh about it, the lower your blood pressure will be, and the more your kids will benefit. The same goes for taking time out to indulge yourself, whether that means heading to the spa for a massage or taking 10 minutes to enjoy your morning coffee before waking the kids up. If you’re trying to be a superparent, you probably feel you need to be on all the time, but you’ll be more refreshed and ready to embrace the kid-filled day if you’re taking at least some care of your own needs. And hey, the older the tykes get, the more they can thrive without you anyway. Isn’t that what they call independence?

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The Takeaway

Doling out parenting advice is an international pastime. While there’s much to learn, there’s also much to reject. As the person who lives with your kids day in and day out, you’ve got the best sense of what’s working and what’s not. While you certainly want to be open to feedback, especially from professionals like teachers and psychologists, don’t let an internet word of advice weigh you down. Have fun with it, and do you like you do, you parenting rock star, you!

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Last Updated on August 12, 2019

12 Best Foods That Improve Memory and Brain Health

12 Best Foods That Improve Memory and Brain Health

Nutrition plays a vital role in brain function and staying sharp into the golden years. Personally, my husband is going through medical school, which is like a daily mental marathon. Like any good wife, I am always looking for things that will boost his memory fortitude so he does his best in school.

But you don’t have to be a med student to appreciate better brainiac brilliance. If you combine certain foods with good hydration, proper sleep and exercise, you may just rival Einstein and have a great memory in no time.

I’m going to reveal the list of foods coming out of the kitchen that can improve your memory and make you smarter.

Here are 12 best brain foods that improve memory and brain power:

1. Nuts

The American Journal of Epidemiology published a study linking higher intakes of vitamin E with the prevention on cognitive decline.[1]

Nuts like walnuts and almonds (along with other great foods like avocados) are a great source of vitamin E.

Cashews and sunflower seeds also contain an amino acid that reduces stress by boosting serotonin levels.

Walnuts even resemble the brain, just in case you forget the correlation, and are a great source of omega 3 fatty acids, which also improve your mental magnitude.

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2. Blueberries

Shown in studies at Tuffs University to benefit both short-term memory and coordination, blueberries pack quite a punch in a tiny blue package.[2]

When compared to other fruits and veggies, blueberries were found to have the highest amount of antioxidants (especially flavonoids), but strawberries, raspberries, and blackberries are also full of brain benefits.

3. Tomatoes

Tomatoes are packed full of the antioxidant lycopene, which has shown to help protect against free-radical damage most notably seen in dementia patients.

4. Broccoli

While all green veggies are important and rich in antioxidants and vitamin C, broccoli is a superfood even among these healthy choices.

Since your brain uses so much fuel (it’s only 3% of your body weight but uses up to 17% of your energy), it is more vulnerable to free-radical damage and antioxidants help eliminate this threat.

Broccoli is packed full of antioxidants, is well-known as a powerful cancer fighter and is also full of vitamin K, which is known to enhance cognitive function.

5. Foods Rich in Essential Fatty Acids

Your brain is the fattest organ (not counting the skin) in the human body, and is composed of 60% fat. That means that your brain needs essential fatty acids like DHA and EPA to repair and build up synapses associated with memory.

The body does not naturally produce essential fatty acids so we must get them in our diet.

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Eggs, flax, and oily fish like salmon, sardines, mackerel and herring are great natural sources of these powerful fatty acids. Eggs also contain choline, which is a necessary building block for the neurotransmitter acetylcholine, to help you recall information and concentrate.

6. Soy

Soy, along with many other whole foods mentioned here, are full of proteins that trigger neurotransmitters associated with memory.

Soy protein isolate is a concentrated form of the protein that can be found in powder, liquid, or supplement form.

Soy is valuable for improving memory and mental flexibility, so pour soy milk over your cereal and enjoy the benefits.

7. Dark Chocolate

When it comes to chocolate, the darker the better. Try to aim for at least 70% cocoa. This yummy desert is rich in flavanol antioxidants which increase blood flow to the brain and shield brain cells from aging.

Take a look at this article if you want to know more benefits of dark chocolate: 15 Surprising and Science-Backed Health Effects of Dark Chocolate

8. Foods Rich in Vitamins: B vitamins, Folic Acid, Iron

Some great foods to obtain brain-boosting B vitamins, folic acid and iron are kale, chard, spinach and other dark leafy greens.

B6, B12 and folic acid can reduce levels of homocysteine in the blood. Homocysteine increases are found in patients with cognitive impairment like Alzheimer’s, and high risk of stroke.

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Studies showed when a group of elderly patients with mild cognitive impairment were given high doses of B6, B12, and folic acid, there was significant reduction in brain shrinkage compared to a similar placebo group.[3]

Other sources of B vitamins are liver, eggs, soybeans, lentils and green beans. Iron also helps accelerate brain function by carrying oxygen. If your brain doesn’t get enough oxygen, it can slow down and people can experience difficulty concentrating, diminished intellect, and a shorter attention span.

To get more iron in your diet, eat lean meats, beans, and iron-fortified cereals. Vitamin C helps in iron absorption, so don’t forget the fruits!

9. Foods Rich in Zinc

Zinc has constantly demonstrated its importance as a powerful nutrient in memory building and thinking. This mineral regulates communications between neurons and the hippocampus.

Zinc is deposited within nerve cells, with the highest concentrations found in the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for higher learning function and memory.

Some great sources of zinc are pumpkin seeds, liver, nuts, and peas.

10. Gingko Biloba

This herb has been utilized for centuries in eastern culture and is best known for its memory boosting brawn.

It can increase blood flow in the brain by dilating vessels, increasing oxygen supply and removing free radicals.

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However, don’t expect results overnight: this may take a few weeks to build up in your system before you see improvements.

11. Green and Black Tea

Studies have shown that both green and black tea prevent the breakdown of acetylcholine—a key chemical involved in memory and lacking in Alzheimer’s patients.

Both teas appear to have the same affect on Alzheimer’s disease as many drugs utilized to combat the illness, but green tea wins out as its affects last a full week versus black tea which only lasts the day.

Find out more about green tea here: 11 Health Benefits of Green Tea (+ How to Drink It for Maximum Benefits)

12. Sage and Rosemary

Both of these powerful herbs have been shown to increase memory and mental clarity, and alleviate mental fatigue in studies.

Try to enjoy these savory herbs in your favorite dishes.

When it comes to mental magnitude, eating smart can really make you smarter. Try to implement more of these readily available nutrients and see just how brainy you can be!

More About Boosting Brain Power

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

Reference

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