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Habit Hack: Top 10 Reasons Why You Failed To Keep Your Habits

Habit Hack: Top 10 Reasons Why You Failed To Keep Your Habits

We all know that habits have a huge influence on to our life. For example, if you want to lose weight permanently, it’s not about following the latest diet trend for a few months, but it’s about creating healthy habits that will become your lifestyle for life.

However, it is not easy to cultivate new habits. If you haven’t known it already, there’s a science behind how a habit is created. Understanding it is vital to change or to create new habits to improve your life.

When trying to create new habits, there are lots of excuses (or loopholes) we made. Gretchen Rubin classifies those excuses into ten categories. Learn more about these excuses so you can improve your habit.

1.   False choice loophole: “I can’t do this, because I’m so busy doing that”

This happens when you think that you need to choose between two activities in opposition, as though you have to choose either one of them (when in fact, you can do both together). For example you might think that if you join that yoga group, you won’t have any time with your daughters; or if you go to sleep earlier, you won’t have any time to yourself; or that you’re so busy, you’ll make those appointments once things calm down.

Remind yourself not to think “Can I have this or that?”, instead you should be thinking “Can I have this and that?”. You will be surprised by how often that’s possible.

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2. Moral licensing loophole: “I’ve been so good, it’s okay for me to do this”

In moral licensing we give ourselves permission to do something “bad” (eat potato chips, bust the budget) because we’ve been “good.” We reason that we’ve earned it or deserve it, or that some “good” behavior has offset something “bad.” Your might thing that after the day you had, you’ve earned a nice glass of wine; or that you’ve been losing weight steadily on this diet, so it will be okay for you to cut a few corners; or that after all you did for others, you’re entitled to a little treat for yourself.

In a particularly popular yet counter-productive variation of moral licensing, people who want to lose weight use exercise to justify eating or drinking. “I went running today, so I’ve earned junk food (such as French Fries or Soda).” Don’t fall into this trap, if you love French fries, you can find a healthier alternative that taste just as good.

3. Tomorrow loophole; “It’s okay to skip today, because I’m going to do this tomorrow”

This loophole depends on a “tomorrow logic.” Now doesn’t matter because we’re going to follow good habits tomorrow. You think that it doesn’t matter what you eat now, because you’re starting a diet tomorrow. (Research shows that people who plan to start dieting tomorrow tend to over-eat today); or that you’ll be really frugal in January so it doesn’t matter if you spend too much in December. 

Some people even fool themselves into thinking that extreme indulgence now will give them more self-control when the magic future day arrives. But eating a giant bowl of ice cream today doesn’t make it any easier to resist tomorrow, and spending an entire day watching TV doesn’t make a person feel more like working the next morning.

4. Lack of control loophole: “I can’t help myself”

In this case, we argue that we don’t have control over the situation, and circumstances have forced us to break a habit. However, usually we have more control than we admit. Some of the examples are when you think you travel all the time, hence you cannot eat healthy (Yes you can, in the airport you can pick Subway over KFC); or that you have an injury; hence you cannot exercise at all (You can do light exercise, or exercise other body parts that are not injured); or  you’re addicted to burgers, pizza, and pasta and you just can’t help yourself (Well, you definitely need to learn how to fight food addiction here) 

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5. Planning to fail loophole: “I walked into this bakery to buy a bottle of water”

You will be surprised by how many people failed to plan their habits properly. For example they think: “I’ll buy some scotch to have in the house in case someone stops by.” Reality is: You don’t have guests that often, and you will end up drinking the scotch all by yourself. Or they reason: “My husband and I love to go on “all inclusive” cruise vacations, and I can’t resist the all-you-can-eat food.” You can simply plan a little ahead, buy the normal cruise package, and prevent overeating.

And as the saying goes, if you fail to plan then you are planning to fail. In terms of weight loss you need to set a specific goal on a certain time frame and use this awesome printable to monitor your weight loss. People who set a specific goal and monitor their weight loss tend to have a better success rate in losing weight.

6. “This doesn’t count” loophole: “I’m on vacation” / “I’m sick” / “It’s the weekend”

We tell ourselves that for some reason, this circumstance doesn’t “count” but in fact, while we can always mindfully choose to make an exception to our habits, there are no magical freebies, no going off the grid, no get-out-of-jail-free cards, nothing that stays in Vegas.

A very popular example is when people don’t watch what they eat when they are on vacation. They end up overeating and justify themselves by saying “I’m on vacation, so this doesn’t count”. Well the truth is, every single thing counts.

7. Questionable assumption loophole: “The label says it’s healthy”

This is a very popular loophole. Consciously or unconsciously, we make assumptions that influence our habits and often, not for the better. They often become less convincing under close scrutiny. The examples are thinking that you need to eat a lot to get good value from this buffet; or that the label says it’s healthy. (In one study, when a cookie was described as an “oatmeal snack,” instead of a “gourmet cookie,” people ate thirty-five percent more); or that if you indulge now, you’ll get it out of my system.

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You need to identify these questionable assumptions and learn the truth behind them, so you can make a better decisions.

8. Concern for others loophole: “I can’t do this because it might make other people uncomfortable”

We often use the loophole of telling ourselves that we’re acting out of consideration for others and making generous, unselfish decisions. Or, more strategically, we decide we must do something in order to fit in to a social situation. Maybe we do and maybe we don’t. Here’s some of the examples: People think it would be so rude to go to a friend’s birthday party and not eat a piece of birthday cake; or at a business dinner, if everyone is drinking, it would seem weird if I didn’t drink. 

By identifying this loophole, you can identify possible solutions, such as: “Everyone else is drinking, so I’ll order a sparkling water, and no one will know what’s in my glass.” Or: “My grandmother gets upset if I don’t take seconds, so I’ll take a very small portion the first time, so she sees me go back for more.”

9. Fake self-actualization loophole: “You only live once! Embrace the moment!”

This loophole comes in the disguise as an embrace of life or an acceptance of one’s self, so that the failure to pursue a habit seems life affirming and almost spiritual. But for most of us, the real aim isn’t to enjoy a few pleasures right now, but to build habits that will make us happy over the long term. Sometimes, that means giving up something in the present, or demanding more from ourselves.

A good example is when a smoker who doesn’t want to give up smoking says: “I have to die of something anyway, so might as well be of something that I enjoy (smoking)”.

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Another good example is when people says that you only live once, and everybody needs to eat every day, so might as well be eating delicious food (even though it’s unhealthy junk food). Well, the truth is you can still eat delicious food that is healthier.

10. One-coin loophole: “What difference does it make if I break my habit this one time?”

There’s a study about two charities who are raising money: Charity A mentioned that even one coin (or a penny) can make a difference to a child’s life, while Charity B did not mention that. In the end, Charity A (that mentions “even one penny can make a difference”) raises more money because even though a penny looks small, it eventually adds up and become substantial.

It is very applicable in your life. How many times have you said: I will eat cupcakes just this time, to end up eating another one few days later?

So those are the ten categories of loopholes. Which loopholes can you relate to the most? How do you plan to tackle it? Let me know in the comment section.

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Last Updated on January 17, 2019

8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

In life, we all need to be conscientious of what we are doing. You don’t need to live a life of stress if you don’t want to. You can achieve peace and happiness in life by carefully building mindfulness exercises into your life’s routine.

Exercising mindfulness isn’t rocket science and as importantly, you can do it. It will, however, take a few tries to get into the groove of things but once you get it, it is like riding a bike, you will never lose it.

Trust me. It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. In this article, I will share with you 8 mindfulness exercises that will help you to boost your energy, vitality and live a more peaceful and happier life.

Why Is It Hard to Live A Peaceful And Happy Life?

Our Habitat Has Become Too Technological

The world has accepted the idea that technology is often the cure for all evil. We have accepted, as a society, that everything technological will make us live a better life without fully investigating the many side effects that modernity brings.

There are a number of technological side effects that have a tremendous impact on your life that the media rarely tells you about.[1] Some of them include self-harm, economic inequality, having less sex, and even suicide. The global community is becoming less happy because of technology.

How can anybody live a peaceful and happy life when they are depressed? Technology advancements, ladies and gents, is a major reason for why we are living a poor life because it has infiltrated our lives too much.

According to my research, Americans spend an average of 8 hours a day looking at the computer screen — The average screen time spent on smartphones alone is about 20 hours per week. That’s a lot! No wonder why living a happy and peaceful life is so difficult these days.

Too Many People Don’t Want to Unplug

Americans check their phones an average of 80 times during vacation.[2] Some admit to checking their smartphones 300 times every single day. In countries like Brazil, India and China, the situation is no different.

The reality is that people are constantly plugged into technological devices and this behavior is literally making people all over the globe fight an inner war with themselves, which consequently makes them very sad. As we know, war is the enemy of peace which won’t make anybody happy.

Listen carefully:

We have a global anxiety epidemic because people don’t want to unplug from their smartphones and most people aren’t doing anything to fix it. It is a sad state of affairs but very real. This obsession with technology is turning us into perishable robots who live terrible lives.

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The era of anxiety is here to stay. There is little doubt about it. We can, however, fight back with the best remedy of all — We call it mindfulness!

Thank God there is an antidote to this whole technological madness. Without further ado, let’s go straight to the mindful exercises.

8 Mindfulness Exercises to Start Practicing

There are tons of mindfulness exercises available for you to engage with out there.[3] In the paragraphs below, I will include the best ones I’ve personally tried or have seen my close friends and family members try.

Are you ready for it? Let’s go!

1. Pray Daily

You should pray on a daily basis. Why is that you may ask — Well, because science has told us to do so.

When people pray, they feel peaceful, almost eliminating anxiety. Worries become secondary, and often gives people energy and hope to cope with the difficulties of life.

Prayer can make you more confident and focused. Prayer also helps you with self-control, helps to control pain, and can protect you against illnesses and disorders like cancer and high blood pressure. At least, this is what researchers from Harvard Medical School have said.[4]

Pray. You won’t regret it.[5]

2. Pay Attention to Your Inner Thoughts

A lot of people allow themselves to be influenced by their negative thoughts. Be different and resist believing in them. It is a bad habit that can lead to unhappiness.

By the way, if you do feel this way, chances are high that somebody other than you put these thoughts into your head.

Here is my secret to combat this cancer — look at things objectively. I bet that if you look at things as they are, you will realize that most if not all of your negative thoughts are only inside of your head.

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If you pay close attention, you will quickly realize that these voices aren’t worth your time. Believe me — Ignoring them and looking at things with objectivity is often the best course of action.

This article can guide you to beat negative thoughts:

How to Stop Automatic Negative Thoughts When You’re Overwhelmed

3. Smile Often

Smiling will slow down your heart. It will also relax your body because when you smile, your body releases endorphins which in itself has a number of positive benefits for you as a person.

Smile often! You may want to smile early in the morning, during the day, and late in the evening. It is amazing what happens to you when you decide to smile instead of being grumpy.

Surrender your problems to a nice smile. You will notice two things. First, most people just don’t which makes them live a miserable life. Second, if you decide to smile often, you will eventually smile unconsciously which is the ideal.

The moment that you smile unconsciously, you then know that you are truly happy.

4. Organize Your Working Desk

A messy desk will make you less productive and can agitate and overstimulate you. You don’t want that.

When you clear your desk, you engage in deep inner-thinking and your systematic decision making ends up becoming therapeutic.

Most people realize that they are most creative when their creative space is clean and organized. The former often makes people more aware of what they are doing which lends to less stress and more productivity.

Organizing your desk will also make you more energetic and focused because order often decreases chaos which is a condition that often slows down daily progress.

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5. Celebrate Your Friend’s Victories

I love this mindful exercise. One of the best ways to live a happy and peaceful life is to celebrate the victories of others. When you do that, you automatically make your friends in a better mood which makes you in a better mood, as well.

Happiness is contagious! We might as well celebrate others as much as we can. If you find out that your peer has won an award, celebrate with him! If your friend is the recipient of a local charity award, celebrate with her!

What is also awesome is that when you celebrate with others, they often celebrate with you in return. This, ladies and gentleman, will make you feel fantastic. You can’t go wrong with this one, period.

6. Listen to Your Spouse/Partner

God put someone in your life for a reason. You might as well listen to him or her.

I listen to my wife everyday. In fact, I often ask the following question to her, “Amanda, what are your thoughts about…” or “What am I missing about…” It is shocking what I hear back from her. Without her having much context and perspective, by the art of observation in my own nonverbal behavior and the behavior of others, she accurately gives me incredible insights which helps me out with living my life to the fullest.

I’m a firm believer that spouses are supposed to engage in interpersonal communication every day. I most definitely do and will continue doing it. You should do the same.

7. Give Yourself a Break from Technology

You can’t be in total equilibrium if your computerized devices control your life. You must get away from technology on a daily basis.[6]

How do you do that? This is my formula:

First, take this smartphone control test. It is only ten questions but this test will place you somewhere in the human robot cycle continuum.

If your score is between 25-30, take a break from the computer (or smartphone, pad, laptop/desktop) every twenty minutes and stop being on a computerized device after 8:00pm.

If you score between 30-35, still take a break every 20 minutes but stop being on these devices at 5:00pm.

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If you score more than 35, you need to take action immediately.

Limit computer use as much as possible throughout the day. Give yourself as many breaks from the computer as possible. Are you ready for the challenge?

8. Go Exercise

Go exercise at least three times a week. I don’t care if you need to workout early in the morning, late in the evening, on the weekends or during work days. Working out is absolutely imperative for you to live happy and peaceful life.

The stresses of the modern world are too much for you to neglect this important mindfulness exercise. When you go to the gym, you burn calories, focus on activities one step at a time, your mind relaxes, anxiety decreases, you sweat and often think about topics unrelated to your work place among many other benefits.

You must exercise at least three hours each week for optimum results. Why? Just take a look at all the benefits of regular exercising:

12 Benefits of Regular Exercise You Should Know

The Bottom Line

It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. Now that our habitat has become too technological and many people just don’t want to unplug, engaging in daily prayer, celebrate your friends’ victories, and listening to your spouse are among the best ways to be mindful about what you are doing and how you are living.

It is possible to live a happy and peaceful life. It only depends on you.

Go exercise! Take a break from technology and invest in you! Life is too short for distractions.

More Resources About Mindfulness

Featured photo credit: Lesly Juarez via unsplash.com

Reference

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