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Habit Hack: Top 10 Reasons Why You Failed To Keep Your Habits

Habit Hack: Top 10 Reasons Why You Failed To Keep Your Habits

We all know that habits have a huge influence on to our life. For example, if you want to lose weight permanently, it’s not about following the latest diet trend for a few months, but it’s about creating healthy habits that will become your lifestyle for life.

However, it is not easy to cultivate new habits. If you haven’t known it already, there’s a science behind how a habit is created. Understanding it is vital to change or to create new habits to improve your life.

When trying to create new habits, there are lots of excuses (or loopholes) we made. Gretchen Rubin classifies those excuses into ten categories. Learn more about these excuses so you can improve your habit.

1.   False choice loophole: “I can’t do this, because I’m so busy doing that”

This happens when you think that you need to choose between two activities in opposition, as though you have to choose either one of them (when in fact, you can do both together). For example you might think that if you join that yoga group, you won’t have any time with your daughters; or if you go to sleep earlier, you won’t have any time to yourself; or that you’re so busy, you’ll make those appointments once things calm down.

Remind yourself not to think “Can I have this or that?”, instead you should be thinking “Can I have this and that?”. You will be surprised by how often that’s possible.

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2. Moral licensing loophole: “I’ve been so good, it’s okay for me to do this”

In moral licensing we give ourselves permission to do something “bad” (eat potato chips, bust the budget) because we’ve been “good.” We reason that we’ve earned it or deserve it, or that some “good” behavior has offset something “bad.” Your might thing that after the day you had, you’ve earned a nice glass of wine; or that you’ve been losing weight steadily on this diet, so it will be okay for you to cut a few corners; or that after all you did for others, you’re entitled to a little treat for yourself.

In a particularly popular yet counter-productive variation of moral licensing, people who want to lose weight use exercise to justify eating or drinking. “I went running today, so I’ve earned junk food (such as French Fries or Soda).” Don’t fall into this trap, if you love French fries, you can find a healthier alternative that taste just as good.

3. Tomorrow loophole; “It’s okay to skip today, because I’m going to do this tomorrow”

This loophole depends on a “tomorrow logic.” Now doesn’t matter because we’re going to follow good habits tomorrow. You think that it doesn’t matter what you eat now, because you’re starting a diet tomorrow. (Research shows that people who plan to start dieting tomorrow tend to over-eat today); or that you’ll be really frugal in January so it doesn’t matter if you spend too much in December. 

Some people even fool themselves into thinking that extreme indulgence now will give them more self-control when the magic future day arrives. But eating a giant bowl of ice cream today doesn’t make it any easier to resist tomorrow, and spending an entire day watching TV doesn’t make a person feel more like working the next morning.

4. Lack of control loophole: “I can’t help myself”

In this case, we argue that we don’t have control over the situation, and circumstances have forced us to break a habit. However, usually we have more control than we admit. Some of the examples are when you think you travel all the time, hence you cannot eat healthy (Yes you can, in the airport you can pick Subway over KFC); or that you have an injury; hence you cannot exercise at all (You can do light exercise, or exercise other body parts that are not injured); or  you’re addicted to burgers, pizza, and pasta and you just can’t help yourself (Well, you definitely need to learn how to fight food addiction here) 

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5. Planning to fail loophole: “I walked into this bakery to buy a bottle of water”

You will be surprised by how many people failed to plan their habits properly. For example they think: “I’ll buy some scotch to have in the house in case someone stops by.” Reality is: You don’t have guests that often, and you will end up drinking the scotch all by yourself. Or they reason: “My husband and I love to go on “all inclusive” cruise vacations, and I can’t resist the all-you-can-eat food.” You can simply plan a little ahead, buy the normal cruise package, and prevent overeating.

And as the saying goes, if you fail to plan then you are planning to fail. In terms of weight loss you need to set a specific goal on a certain time frame and use this awesome printable to monitor your weight loss. People who set a specific goal and monitor their weight loss tend to have a better success rate in losing weight.

6. “This doesn’t count” loophole: “I’m on vacation” / “I’m sick” / “It’s the weekend”

We tell ourselves that for some reason, this circumstance doesn’t “count” but in fact, while we can always mindfully choose to make an exception to our habits, there are no magical freebies, no going off the grid, no get-out-of-jail-free cards, nothing that stays in Vegas.

A very popular example is when people don’t watch what they eat when they are on vacation. They end up overeating and justify themselves by saying “I’m on vacation, so this doesn’t count”. Well the truth is, every single thing counts.

7. Questionable assumption loophole: “The label says it’s healthy”

This is a very popular loophole. Consciously or unconsciously, we make assumptions that influence our habits and often, not for the better. They often become less convincing under close scrutiny. The examples are thinking that you need to eat a lot to get good value from this buffet; or that the label says it’s healthy. (In one study, when a cookie was described as an “oatmeal snack,” instead of a “gourmet cookie,” people ate thirty-five percent more); or that if you indulge now, you’ll get it out of my system.

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You need to identify these questionable assumptions and learn the truth behind them, so you can make a better decisions.

8. Concern for others loophole: “I can’t do this because it might make other people uncomfortable”

We often use the loophole of telling ourselves that we’re acting out of consideration for others and making generous, unselfish decisions. Or, more strategically, we decide we must do something in order to fit in to a social situation. Maybe we do and maybe we don’t. Here’s some of the examples: People think it would be so rude to go to a friend’s birthday party and not eat a piece of birthday cake; or at a business dinner, if everyone is drinking, it would seem weird if I didn’t drink. 

By identifying this loophole, you can identify possible solutions, such as: “Everyone else is drinking, so I’ll order a sparkling water, and no one will know what’s in my glass.” Or: “My grandmother gets upset if I don’t take seconds, so I’ll take a very small portion the first time, so she sees me go back for more.”

9. Fake self-actualization loophole: “You only live once! Embrace the moment!”

This loophole comes in the disguise as an embrace of life or an acceptance of one’s self, so that the failure to pursue a habit seems life affirming and almost spiritual. But for most of us, the real aim isn’t to enjoy a few pleasures right now, but to build habits that will make us happy over the long term. Sometimes, that means giving up something in the present, or demanding more from ourselves.

A good example is when a smoker who doesn’t want to give up smoking says: “I have to die of something anyway, so might as well be of something that I enjoy (smoking)”.

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Another good example is when people says that you only live once, and everybody needs to eat every day, so might as well be eating delicious food (even though it’s unhealthy junk food). Well, the truth is you can still eat delicious food that is healthier.

10. One-coin loophole: “What difference does it make if I break my habit this one time?”

There’s a study about two charities who are raising money: Charity A mentioned that even one coin (or a penny) can make a difference to a child’s life, while Charity B did not mention that. In the end, Charity A (that mentions “even one penny can make a difference”) raises more money because even though a penny looks small, it eventually adds up and become substantial.

It is very applicable in your life. How many times have you said: I will eat cupcakes just this time, to end up eating another one few days later?

So those are the ten categories of loopholes. Which loopholes can you relate to the most? How do you plan to tackle it? Let me know in the comment section.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

    Why You Need a Vision

    Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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    How to Create Your Life Vision

    Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

    What Do You Want?

    The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

    It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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    Some tips to guide you:

    • Remember to ask why you want certain things
    • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
    • Give yourself permission to dream.
    • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
    • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

    Some questions to start your exploration:

    • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
    • What would you like to have more of in your life?
    • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
    • What are your secret passions and dreams?
    • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
    • What do you want your relationships to be like?
    • What qualities would you like to develop?
    • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
    • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
    • What would you most like to accomplish?
    • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

    It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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    What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

    Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

    A few prompts to get you started:

    • What will you have accomplished already?
    • How will you feel about yourself?
    • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
    • What does your ideal day look like?
    • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
    • What would you be doing?
    • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
    • How are you dressed?
    • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
    • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
    • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

    It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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    Plan Backwards

    It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

    • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
    • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
    • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
    • What important actions would you have had to take?
    • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
    • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
    • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
    • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
    • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

    Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

    It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

    Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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