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This Is Why Having A Sister Is Better Than A Significant Other

This Is Why Having A Sister Is Better Than A Significant Other

I am one of seven children. My three sisters and I grew up in a smallish bedroom with two sets of bunk beds stacked up against the walls. We shared a closet, a dresser, and just about everything else.

I had friends who were only children. I looked longingly at their perfect dolls and toys placed carefully on their perfect shelves in their perfect little girl bedrooms. Every day their moms would sneak in while they were at school and put everything in order, like a hotel maid. These little girls would come home to everything just perfect.

These same little girls had beds with canopies. They had bathrooms to themselves. They could sleep in on weekends and some even had TVs in their rooms. Their moms were their best friends. They could leave school just to get their hair done.

Our bedroom always had stuff hanging about. There just wasn’t room to store the paraphernalia of four girls who had definite ideas about how they wanted their space to be.

As a result it was a jumble of all of our stuff, all over the floor, all the time.

All of us girls shared a bathroom with our three brothers. We could never sleep in because the house woke up when it woke up and there was din until nightfall.

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My mom did my hair, and when I turned ten I grew it long and hid behind it. It stayed that way until I grew up and went to beauty school. I could finally get a professional haircut because I was able to give one in trade. And I was good at it.

From a very young age, I really thought I was hard up.

Today is the third of July. I am getting ready to go to a mad family reunion. My family is nothing if not a little bit unusual. It will be a huge rush of humanity, all trying to catch up on communication that should have occurred over the past year but, for whatever reason, it did not.

I always look forward to seeing them again because, like them or love them, they are my sisters.
I have come to realize that there are so many reasons that sisters rock the universe but I can only give you a few here.

1. They get you

Your sisters have grown up with you so they know the ENTIRE back story of your situation and everything leading up to it.

They may not agree with you all the time but they never wonder why you do what you do or say what you say.

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To this day I can go to my sister Bess and say, “What’s happening mujere?” (pronounced Moo-hair in our Wonder Bread vernacular) and she will respond as though I have not said anything unusual.

2. They have seen your naked butt.

This may seem like a completely random statement, but there is no bond like the one forged when you catch a glimpse of your sister’s naked rear quarters as she streaks from the bathroom to the hall closet to claim a forgotten towel. There she is, dripping wet, and she looks up just in time to see your laughing face as she scrambles with the knob on the hall closet door, frantically trying to get it open.

Before you laugh too heartily though, don’t forget that you have forgotten your towel too and the chances are very, very, very great that she has seen your butt naked as well.

3. They have suffered with you through awful times.

I know sisters love to say “I told you so,” but they really do suffer when you suffer. I know that when one of my sisters is unhappy, I am unhappy too. They are family, they are blood, and they are connected to you.

Yes, there are moments when you feel like kicking each other to the curb but just wait until some non-family member tries to injure you. The claws will come out!

4. They have cheered you on.

Sisters do get jealous at times but, even so, they are happy that you are doing well. They were there when you got married. They called to check on you when your kids were sick. They gave you “atta girls” when you made some bully eat dust, and they rejoiced at your new bonus as long as you took them out for drinks and fattening appetizers!

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5. They do girl stuff.

I am a mom now and I have two boys. I love these dudes immensely but they NEVER like to get their nails done! They also don’t like to shop for shoes or dresses. I have been known to borrow a friend’s young girls because we love shopping together. When my sisters and I are together, we shop. We eat. And we laugh about really dumb things. It is the best time ever.

6. They are on the same diet you are.

We are women in a world where thin is equated with beauty. No matter how unjust this is, we are always on diets. There is nothing like a sister to call and whine about how you want an ice cream cone and can’t ever have one again. When you do this, you know that they understand perfectly what depths of despair you are going through.

We rejoice with each other’s loss of ounces and frown at each other’s pounds of gain. In the end we forget the whole diet concept and go out for cake. Then we are all happy.

7. They are aging at the same rate.

As we get older, we change, and not always in ways we love. However miserable this can be, it is heartening to know that someone shares your misery and is on the same conveyor belt to Hell that you are.

Sisters can talk with perfect understanding about love handles that have sprung up over night, a sudden wild whisker hair that has appeared on your lip, weird bumps and growths that appear out of nowhere and jeans that no longer button up like they once did.

They know what you are going through because they are going through it too. There is no one who cackles as heartily at you trying to get your stiff hips up out of a chair than someone who looks as bad or worse when she tries it.

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The last and best thing about sisters is that they are stuck with us. We can have our upsets and misunderstandings but we always come back to each other.

Looking back, my “only children” friends had nice things. They had designer beds and beautiful bedrooms, but I always had someone to play with, someone to talk to. Even if everyone hated me, one of my sisters did not and that was all I needed.

My sisters and I made up games and went around the neighborhood begging for old dresses and petticoats so we could put on plays in our garage. We made up each other’s faces and rated each other’s ability to movie kiss by watching as we practiced on our pillows and gave helpful critiques as though we knew what the heck we were talking about.

Our house was the center of activity for the whole neighborhood. We had sleepovers in sleeping bags on the lawn every Saturday night during the summer. We had dance shows and baseball games in the street. We had rope swings and caught pollywogs from the creek. In short, we had everything we ever needed because we had each other.

I know many people reading this have had upsets with their sisters or you wouldn’t be reading this. All I can say is communication fixes everything. If you miss your sister, tell her so.

If you have a BFF that has stuck with you through thick and thin, adopt her as your sister and keep her close to you. One can never have too many sisters.

I know I don’t say this enough but Sissies, I love you wacky dudettes!  Hey! I have a hankering for margaritas and something fattening and fried. Who’s in?

Featured photo credit: Beautiful Girls Having Fun in the Park via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on April 8, 2020

Why Assuming Positive Intent Is an Amazing Productivity Driver

Why Assuming Positive Intent Is an Amazing Productivity Driver

Assuming positive intent is an important contributor to quality of life.

Most people appreciate the dividends such a mindset produces in the realm of relationships. How can relationships flourish when you don’t assume intentions that may or may not be there? And how their partner can become an easier person to be around as a result of such a shift? Less appreciated in the GTD world, however, is the productivity aspect of this “assume positive intent” perspective.

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Most of us are guilty of letting our minds get distracted, our energy sapped, or our harmony compromised by thinking about what others woulda, coulda, shoulda.  How we got wronged by someone else.  How a friend could have been more respectful.  How a family member could have been less selfish.

However, once we evolve to understanding the folly of this mindset, we feel freer and we become more productive professionally due to the minimization of unhelpful, distracting thoughts.

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The leap happens when we realize two things:

  1. The self serving benefit from giving others the benefit of the doubt.
  2. The logic inherent in the assumption that others either have many things going on in their lives paving the way for misunderstandings.

Needless to say, this mindset does not mean that we ought to not confront people that are creating havoc in our world.  There are times when we need to call someone out for inflicting harm in our personal lives or the lives of others.

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Indra Nooyi, Chairman and CEO of Pepsi, says it best in an interview with Fortune magazine:

My father was an absolutely wonderful human being. From ecent emailhim I learned to always assume positive intent. Whatever anybody says or does, assume positive intent. You will be amazed at how your whole approach to a person or problem becomes very different. When you assume negative intent, you’re angry. If you take away that anger and assume positive intent, you will be amazed. Your emotional quotient goes up because you are no longer almost random in your response. You don’t get defensive. You don’t scream. You are trying to understand and listen because at your basic core you are saying, ‘Maybe they are saying something to me that I’m not hearing.’ So ‘assume positive intent’ has been a huge piece of advice for me.

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In business, sometimes in the heat of the moment, people say things. You can either misconstrue what they’re saying and assume they are trying to put you down, or you can say, ‘Wait a minute. Let me really get behind what they are saying to understand whether they’re reacting because they’re hurt, upset, confused, or they don’t understand what it is I’ve asked them to do.’ If you react from a negative perspective – because you didn’t like the way they reacted – then it just becomes two negatives fighting each other. But when you assume positive intent, I think often what happens is the other person says, ‘Hey, wait a minute, maybe I’m wrong in reacting the way I do because this person is really making an effort.

“Assume positive intent” is definitely a top quality of life’s best practice among the people I have met so far. The reasons are obvious. It will make you feel better, your relationships will thrive and it’s an approach more greatly aligned with reality.  But less understood is how such a shift in mindset brings your professional game to a different level.

Not only does such a shift make you more likable to your colleagues, but it also unleashes your talents further through a more focused, less distracted mind.

More Tips About Building Positive Relationships

Featured photo credit: Christina @ wocintechchat.com via unsplash.com

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