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I, Me and MySelfie!

I, Me and MySelfie!

The other day while I was basking in the afternoon sun waiting for my bus to come, I clumsily took some random selfies of myself and sent them to my friends. With the world in a frenzy with its selfie obsession, I wonder: how did it end up this way? I realized that perhaps selfies were always there, but they weren’t explored to this extent until now.

The simple yet unexplored means of indulging in focusing and clicking countless pictures is the new rage. Duck faces, pouting, raised eyebrows, and teeth-clenching pictures; blowing kisses, bulging eyes, battling eyelids and naughty ones—who would have thought it would come to this?

Have you ever wondered why the selfie mania crept upon us like a fast-moving epidemic? Well I have. Here are some of the basic reasons you may not have thought of before as to how selfie-ism became popular.

1. Self-obsession Syndrome

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    Nobody can get enough of himself/herself in this lifetime. The self-obsession syndrome has led people to become highly involved with taking selfies. The unstoppable feeling of seeing and clicking umpteen pictures of oneself just to get the best one out of the lot is unnerving. I have a friend who looks great on camera and is selfie-obsessed. She says that since she is a little bit on the heavier side, selfies work wonders for her self-confidence since she can include just her face (and not her body) in the photos.

    2. Phobia of Being Without Your Phone

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      We are the phone-hooked generation, the ones with high-end mobile phones flashing up-to-date features who use the phone for almost everything on this planet. There are apps for finding directions, places to eat, drink, dance, read, and see movies. And once we get there, we click pictures and upload them. The special features of the phone that allow you to take all sorts of pictures in all resolutions and views, black and white, panoramic, faded, etc has driven the world to be more selfie-centered.

      3. The “Everyone Is Doing It” Mania

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        The feeling of following the crowd: your friends, neighbors, classmates, officemates and even strangers are doing it. So why should you be dwindling away time? I had never been previously fascinated with selfie-ism (as I like to refer to it), but when I saw my cousins, friends and family indulging in it, I started to follow suit. I began to take lots of selfies and uploaded them for the world to see and eventually, became one of them. The mere expression that you are not lagging behind times is of the prima facie for clicking selfies today.

        4. Simplicity

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          Yes, taking pictures is now the simplest thing ever. Just a mere touch on the interface and you have a dozen beautiful pictures smiling back at you. Everyone from my niece, who is three, to my grandmother, who is seventy-three, takes selfies! What’s even better is that you can control the positioning of the camera on your face.

          5. There’s no one else there to take the picture!

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            When we go on trips, vacations overseas or just a pub, often, we don’t have anyone who can take the picture for us. The feeling of giving your phone to a stranger and ending up with a blurred and not-so-good picture sucks. Instead, one prefers a simpler version of taking pictures: selfies with friends, alone or with a loved one.

            6. Celebrity Connection

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              Remember the selfie craze that went viral after the Ellen DeGeneres Oscar selfie? Its net worth was estimated to be between 800 million dollars to 1 billion dollars! Yes, pure madness! But as much as it was expected,  the fans or, more specifically, the world, just blindly follows. There will be more selfies if the celebrities are doing it.

              7. Accidentally on purpose.

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                One theory of mine is that selfies were invented by mistake: imagine somebody trying to adjust his phone while in the process of handing it over for someone else to take the picture. Or maybe someone goes to check her makeup on the phone’s camera and accidentally ends up with a selfie? Quite a possibility, eh?

                8. The Selfie Song

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                  The addictive yet lucid and trance-like music of the selfie song, “#Selfie,” blew the world out of proportion with its popularity. After hearing it so much, I am so sick of the selfie song now. But we can’t deny that it took the world by storm, and ever since the song came out, selfies became even more prominent .

                  The selfie-obsessed generation is one in which we live. So should we make a fuss about this selfie-ism? No way. With everything good or bad that fades with time, so will this. Eventually, the world will have had enough of selfie-ism and will divert their focus to something much more attractive and cool. Selfies will dwindle away only to be remembered by us when our hair turns grey. So for now, sit back, relax and pose while you take a selfie!

                  Featured photo credit: Markus Bemhard via Getty Images via i.huffpost.com

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                  Last Updated on July 10, 2020

                  How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

                  How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

                  We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

                  We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

                  So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

                  Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

                  What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

                  Boundaries are limits

                  —they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

                  Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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                  Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

                  Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

                  Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

                  How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

                  Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

                  1. Self-Awareness Comes First

                  Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

                  You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

                  To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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                  You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

                  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
                  • When do you feel disrespected?
                  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
                  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
                  • When do you want to be alone?
                  • How much space do you need?

                  You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

                  2. Clear Communication Is Essential

                  Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

                  Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

                  3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

                  Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

                  That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

                  Sample language:

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                  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
                  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
                  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
                  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
                  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
                  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
                  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

                  Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

                  4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

                  Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

                  Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

                  Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

                  We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

                  It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

                  It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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                  Final Thoughts

                  Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

                  Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

                  Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

                  The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

                  Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

                  Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

                  They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

                  Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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