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7 Things Millenials can do to Beat the Quarter Life Crisis

7 Things Millenials can do to Beat the Quarter Life Crisis

Just what is this thing called the Quarter Life Crisis anyway? Dictionary.com defines it as “a crisis that may be experienced in one’s twenties, involving anxiety over the direction and quality of one’s life,” or, “an emotional crisis in one’s twenties with anxiety and self-doubt after leaving academic life.” The term has only recently become popularized in relation to the current generation of 20-Somethings who collectively answer to the term: “Millennials”.

Typical features of the Quarter Life Crisis are:

  • Anxiety
  • Frustration
  • an overwhelming dissatisfaction with the direction of one’s life
  • feeling as if life has no specific purpose
  • feelings of self doubt and confusion

Left unchecked, these feelings can trigger a downward spiral from anxiety to depression…or worse. Recent research has shown suicide as being the leading cause of death for young adults in both the UK[1] and Australia[2], and the second leading cause of death amongst 25-34 year olds in the US[3].

If the Quarter Life Crisis is responsible for playing any part In these troubling stats, then finding ways to overcome it early on could be incredibly important.

Here are 7 simple steps that an individual at risk can take to give the Quarter Life Crisis a side-step:

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1. Know Yourself – Identify Your Top 3 Personal Values

Really knowing what makes you tick, what turns you on to life, is incredibly empowering. This information can act like a compass for you as you go through life, giving you a sense of clarity in your decision making. This clarity will eliminate a lot of the mental fog that can cause self-doubt and confusion.

Your Personal Values are the things that are at your core, that make up your essence, and which you consider to be highly important across every aspect of life.

Examples of personal values are: Creativity, Growth, Honesty, Responsibility, Persistence etc. Getting down to just 3 values can be tough, but when you do narrow it down, you will have a clear focus for everything you do. Darren Hardy has a great tool on his site (available for free, via the link) that can assist with the process of identifying your own top 3 Personal Values. Curious? Check it out here: http://thecompoundeffect.com/downloads/english-core_values_assessment.pdf

2. Detox Your Mind – Go on a Mental Diet

On an average day, most of us are overloaded with more information and communications than we can handle or process. Sometimes the clutter of all this information and mental noise can fog what’s really important to us, and for us. In the same way that our physical bodies can benefit from a good detox – eliminating the bad, and flushing out our systems with the good – so too can our minds feel refreshed and renewed after consciously deciding to monitor the information we let into it for a period of time. Try one week without Reality TV, soaps, gossip magazines, news, social media (I know, it will be tough!) and radio etc. Try flushing your mind out with a combination of silence and carefully selected positive material designed to boost your mental well-being. There are lots of free resources available on the Web, but sites like www.knowledgeisking.co.uk are focused on providing you with the best mental food available.

3. Adopt a new Attitude – 100% Personal Responsibility

This is one of the easiest tips to implement… if you are mentally prepared to take it on. Your attitude is nothing more than a choice. This piece of advice puts you fully in the driving seat of everything that happens around you. 100% responsibility means that even if something isn’t your fault, you still take responsibility for how the outcome has impacted you. This gives you the opportunity to open your eyes to how you might actually be affecting things that you previously thought were outside of your control. This is especially important if the effects that you have been experiencing have been less than positive. 100% responsibility means always asking, “What could I have done differently? How can I change my behaviour in the future to positively affect the outcome?” Ask these questions, instead of looking at what other people have done wrong, or how they are to blame for a given set of circumstances or outcome.

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The next time you feel some frustration or anger building up inside you towards someone or something else, just ask yourself, “How might I have contributed to this situation? What would I do differently if it were to occur again?

4. Practice Responding, rather than Reacting

This tip is actually pretty closely linked to the previous piece of advice, but worth mentioning in a different light. For most of us, most of the time, when we speak or act, we are reacting instinctively to something that has been said, or has happened immediately beforehand. Responding means that we allow a little pause, some space, between what is said or done, and what we choose to say or do as a result. It doesn’t have to be a big dramatic pause, just enough time for us to give brief consideration to the things we do and say. In this pause, we can do a quick mental check, that will eventually become automatic, to see if we are responding in a way that aligns with our core values and is in line with us taking 100% responsibility.

Try using that space in your next conversation, and see if you don’t feel a great sense of calm about your communications and interactions.

5. Pick a Destination and Enjoy the Journey there

Now, this doesn’t necessarily relate to a holiday destination. Although it might be if that’s a big goal of yours. This tip refers to the principle of having a specific overall purpose to your life, and learning to enjoy the process that will help you to achieve it. Once you are clear on your values, it becomes much easier to identify what direction you want to take your life in, and for what specific purpose. That is your destination. Doing the things that will take you towards that destination will be what makes up a substantial part of your life, so it is important that you see it all as part of a process that you can enjoy. Take pride in this because you know it is all contributing to you achieving your purpose.

One activity that can help in identifying what destination, or purpose you want to have in life, is to go through the process of writing your own obituary. What would you like your life to look like on paper if someone was writing it up after your departure? To do this exercise justice, you need to set aside some specific time to sit quietly. Maybe you could start by reading the obituaries of one or two well known people that you have admired for inspiration. Upon reflection, begin jotting down how you would want your own obituary to read.

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6. Balance, Balance, Balance – Keeping it all in check

Balance here refers not to balancing all the different roles and responsibilities that you need to fulfill on a daily basis, but rather balancing the 3 elements that make it possible for you fulfill those roles in the first place – your physical body, your thinking mind and your guiding spirit. Balancing them doesn’t necessarily mean spending equal time on each, but being aware of each and giving them acknowledgement of the role they each play in your life. For your body, this means eating right, resting well and getting some exercise. For your mind, this could mean that after your Mental Detox, you adopt some new habits about what goes into your mind, and the space you give it to process the information overload each day. Depending on your beliefs, your spirit may be as simple as your gut feelings. The emotions that we feel can be a guiding voice, regarding a particular situation. This is not to say that you should be ruled by your emotions, but equally, don’t ignore your inner voice – it’s often giving the wisest advice.

7. Put Your Life in Your Hands – Have a written plan

Chances are, if you’ve ever planned anything important, you’ve had a written plan. Starting a business, planning a wedding, a project at work…it all gets written down. How much more important is this for your life?

Imagine holding a document in you hands, containing the plans for the next 5 years of your life. Identifying your top 3 values is a great start. From there, you could go on to create your bucket list. Then, pick the top thing from there that you would like to prioritize for achieving in the next 12 months. Then, jot down a list of everything that you would need to do to make it happen. What are the major stepping stones for achieving that thing? What are the specific tasks that you would need to do to achieve each of those steps? When will you do each of these steps? These are some of the basic questions that you would need to ask yourself to give yourself a great chance of making that thing happen. There are lots of goal setting programs and apps out there that can help you with the process of achieving specific goals.

If you take a little bit of action on each of these steps on a regular basis, you will reduce your risk of being hit by the Quarter Life Crisis. You’llalso increase your ability to deal with it, if that is where you already find yourself.

The Quarter Life Crisis is not an inevitable transition into full blown adulthood – you CAN find a way to Beat it!

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[1] www.ons.gov.uk

[2] www.abs.gov.au

[3] www.cdc.gov

Featured photo credit: pretty hippie girl playing guitar via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on December 2, 2019

10 Powerful Ways to Stop Worrying and Start Living Today

10 Powerful Ways to Stop Worrying and Start Living Today

Plato knew that the body and mind are intimately linked. And in the late 1800s, the Mayo brothers, famous physicians, estimated that over half of all hospital beds are filled with people suffering from frustration, anxiety, worry and despair. Causes of worry are everywhere, in our relationships and our jobs, so it’s key we find ways to take charge of the stress.

In his classic book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Dale Carnegie offers tools to ditch excessive worrying that help you make a worry-free environment for your private and professional life.

These are the top 10 tips to grab worry by the horns and wrestle it to the ground:

1. Make Your Decision and Never Look Back

Have you ever made a decision in life only to second-guess it afterwards? Of course you have! It’s hard not to wonder whether you’ve done the right thing and whether there might still be time to take another path.

But keep this in mind: you’ve already made your decision, so act decisively on it and dismiss all your anxiety about it.

Don’t stop to hesitate, to reconsider, or to retrace your steps. Once you’ve chosen a course of action, stick to it and never waver.

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2. Live for Today, Package Things up in “Day-Tight Compartments”

You know that feeling: tossing, turning and worrying over something that happened or something that might, well into the wee hours. To avoid this pointless worrying, you need “day-tight compartments”. Much as a ship has different watertight compartments, your own “day-tight” ones are a way to limit your attention to the present day.

The rule is simple: whatever happened in the past or might happen in the future must not intrude upon today. Everything else has to wait its turn for tomorrow’s box or stay stuck in the past.

3. Embrace the Worst-Case Scenario and Strategize to Offset It

If you’re worried about something, ask yourself: “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” Could you lose your job? Be jailed? Get killed?

Whatever the “worst” might be, it’s probably not so world-ending. You could probably even bounce back from it!

If, for example, you lose your job, you could always find another. Once you accept the worst-case scenario and get thinking about contingency plans, you’ll feel calmer.

4. Put a Lid on Your Worrying

Sometimes we stress endlessly about negative experiences when just walking away from them would serve us far better.

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To make squashing that worry easier, try this strategy, straight from stock traders: it’s called the “stop-loss” order, where shares are bought at a certain price, and then their price development is observed. If things go badly and the share price hits a certain point, they are sold off immediately. This stops the loss from increasing further.

In the same manner, you can put a stop-loss order on things that cause you stress and grief.

5. Fake It ‘Til You Make It – Happiness, That Is

We can’t directly influence how we feel, but we can nudge ourselves to change through how we think and act.

If you’re feeling sad or low, slap a big grin on your face and whistle a chipper tune. You’ll find it impossible to be blue when acting cheerful. But you don’t necessarily need to act outwardly happy; you can simply think happier thoughts instead.

Marcus Aurelius summed it up aptly:

“Our life is what our thoughts make it.”

6. Give for the Joy of Giving

When we perform acts of kindness, we often do so with the expectation of gratitude. But harboring such expectations will probably leave you disappointed.

One person well aware of this fact was the lawyer Samuel Leibowitz. Over the course of his career, Leibowitz saved 78 people from going to the electric chair. Guess how many thanked him? None.

So stop expecting gratitude when you’re kind to someone. Instead, take joy from the act yourself.

7. Dump Envy – Enjoy Being Uniquely You

Your genes are completely unique. Even if someone had the same parents as you, the likelihood of someone identical to you being born is just one in 300,000 billion.

Despite this amazing fact, many of us long to be someone else, thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. But living your life this way is pointless. Embrace your uniqueness and get comfortable with who you really are: How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

8. Haters Will Hate — It Just Means You’re Doing It Right

When you’re criticized, it often means you’re accomplishing something noteworthy. In fact, let’s take it a step further and consider this: the more you’re criticized, the more influential and important a person you likely are.

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So the next time somebody talks you down, don’t let it get to you. Take it as a compliment!

9. Chill Out! Learn to Rest Before You Get Tired

Scientists agree that emotions are the most common cause of fatigue. And it works the other way around, too: fatigue produces more worries and negative emotions.

It should be clear, therefore, that you’ve got to relax regularly before you feel tired. Otherwise, worries and fatigue will accumulate on top of each other.

It’s impossible to worry when you are relaxed, and regular rest helps you maintain your ability to work effectively.

10. Get Organized and Enjoy Your Work

There are few greater sources of misery in life than having to work, day in, day out, in a job you despise. It would make sense then that you shouldn’t pick a job you hate, or even just dislike doing.

But say you already have a job. How can you make it more enjoyable and worry-free? One way is to stay organized: a desk full of unanswered mails and memos is sure to breed worries.

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Better yet, rethink about the job you’re doing: What to Do When You Hate Your Job but Want a Successful Career

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Featured photo credit: Tyler Nix via unsplash.com

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