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5 Most Important Communication Strategies For Any Relationship

5 Most Important Communication Strategies For Any Relationship

Communication is the cornerstone in any relationship. It is a foundation of utmost importance and is something that often needs to be learned, polished and practiced over time. Fortunately, there are basic strategies that can be used in any relationship to help improve connections and head off devastation before it starts. Effective communication in relationships only help strengthen bonds between fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, life partners, spouses and friends.

You Don’t Need To Be Right

We think if we can get the other person to see our point of view and agree with us, then we will be happy and our relationship will be what we’ve always wished it to be: heaven on earth, right? Well, not exactly. The key is to be able to have an exchange of ideas and words that will be heard, understood, and reciprocated between two people. We think if we simply repeat ourselves or tell the other person what we need from him or her with a little more vigor, then he or she will finally get it.

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Being Indirect Never Works

Some of us use more subtle hints, like passive aggressive behaviors to get the other person to listen and understand us. I once remember counseling a lady who said, “I was hoping my husband would read my journal I left it open on the bed, so he would know how I feel.” She could not bring herself to tell him directly in an open, honest communication session what she needed from him and in turn learn what he needed from her. It may be a little frightening at first, but with time and practice, two people can learn to use these strategies with little effort. Let’s take a look at some ways you can help your relationship succeed.

The 5 Strategies:

Listen to what your partner is saying: How often is it when you are in the midst of a conversation with your partner, that instead of listening to him or her, you are thinking of a rebuttal. There is nothing more frustrating than talking with someone about an important topic and he or she is busy playing with nails, looking around the room (or worse at the TV), or appear to be daydreaming. Use body language such as leaning in to listen, making eye contact, and nodding. Of course, really being interested in what they have to say could be of some importance, don’t you agree?

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Refrain from using blame statements. This may take practice. How often is it that when you are in the heat of anger you put your foot in your mouth and wish you could take your words back. Often your statements can come across as accusatory simply because you say things like, “You always” or “You don’t.” Instead, try saying something like “I feel important to you when you spend time with me doing…” These statements help to quell arguments and open up lines of communication.

It is important to calm down (sometimes in isolation) before talking about issues. Some of us like to nip things in the bud right away. I understand, but it can do more harm than good if you jump into a discussion about your needs while in the midst of anger. If you feel you must leave the situation to calm down, try and tell your partner that is why you are leaving, and the issue will be discussed at a later time.

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Choose an appropriate time and place to discuss your concerns. There’s nothing like talking about sexual issues just before or after sex to spoil the mood; wouldn’t you agree? Try setting a neutral time and place (not the bedroom) to discuss issues of any kind, especially sex. For non-romantic relationships, this works also. For example, don’t try and discuss a problem before a family outing or get together. This will only serve to reinforce your disdain for family functions. Setting an appropriate time and place to discuss issues in any relationship is vital in order to prevent negative associations with what should be joyous occasions.

Ask questions and be attentive. This will allow your partner to feel you are attempting to find a solution and you sincerely care for him or her. A good rule of thumb is to ask questions such as, “What do you need from me in order to feel important in this relationship?”

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I hope you find these communication strategies helpful in your relationships and remember practice makes perfect!

Featured photo credit: Relationships/Morgue via mrg.bz

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Last Updated on May 28, 2020

How to Overcome Boredom

How to Overcome Boredom

Have you ever been bored? Restless? Fidgety? In need of some inspiration?

I have a theory on boredom. I believe that the rate of boredom has increased alongside the pace of technology.

If you think about it, technology has provided us with mobile phones, laptops, Ipads, device after device – all to ultimately fix one problem: boredom.

What is Boredom?

We have become a global nation that feeds on entertainment. We associate ‘living’ with ‘doing’. People now do not know how to sit still, and we feel guilty when we are not doing anything. Today, inactivity has become the ultimate sin.

You might not realize it, but boredom stimulates a form of anxiety and stress. It evokes an emotional state that creates frustration and feeds procrastination.

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It’s a desire to be ‘doing something’ or to be ‘entertained’ – it’s a desire for sensory stimulation. What it boils down to is a lack of focus.

If you think about those times when you’re bored, it’s usually because you did not know what to do. So, indecision also plays a big part.

When we are focused on what’s important to us and what we want to achieve, it’s pretty hard to be bored. So, one answer to boredom is to become focused on what you want.

Sometimes It’s Good to Be Bored

If boredom is a desire for sensory stimulation – then what’s the opposite of that? To be content with no stimulation – in other words – to enjoy stillness.

Sometimes, it’s not boredom itself that causes the frustration but the resistance to doing nothing.

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Think about it. What would happen if you were to ‘let go’ of the desire to be entertained? You wouldn’t be bored anymore, and you will feel more relaxed!

In my experience, it’s often the most obvious, simplistic solutions that are the most powerful in life. So, when you’re bored, the easiest way to combat this is to enjoy it.

It may sound weird but think of ‘boredom’ as a form of ‘relaxation’. It’s a break from the constant stimulation that 21st-century living provides – constant TVs, mobile phones, radios, internet, emails, phone calls, etc.

Who knows, maybe ‘boredom’ is actually good for us?

Next time you’re ‘feeling bored’ instead of feeding the frustration by frantically looking for something to do, maybe you can sit back, relax, and savor the feeling of having nothing to do.

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In this article, I’ll share with you my 3-step strategy on how to overcome boredom.

3-Step Strategy to Overcome Boredom

1. Get Focused

Instead of chasing sensory stimulation at random, focus on what’s really important to you. Focusing on something important helps prevent boredom because it forces you to utilize your time productively.

You should ask yourself: what would make good use of your time? What could you be doing that would contribute to your major goals in life?

Here are a few ideas:

  • Spend some time in quiet contemplation considering what’s important to you.
  • Start that creative project you’ve been talking about for the last few weeks.
  • Brainstorm: think of some ideas for new innovative products or businesses.

2. Kill Procrastination

Boredom is useful in some ways because it gives you the energy and time to do things. It is only a problem if you let it. But if you use it to motivate yourself to be productive, then you can more easily overcome boredom.

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So, the next time you’re bored, why not put this good energy to use by ticking off those things that you have been meaning to get done but have been too busy to finish? This also presents a great time for you to clear your to-do list.

Here are some ideas:

  • Do some exercise.
  • Read a book.
  • Learn something new.
  • Call a friend.
  • Get creative (draw, paint, sculpt, create music, write).
  • Do a spring cleaning.
  • Wash the car.
  • Renovate the house.
  • Re-arrange the furniture.
  • Write your shopping list.
  • Water the plants.
  • Walk the dog.
  • Sort out your mail & email.
  • De-clutter (clear out that wardrobe).

3. Enjoy Boredom

If none of the above solutions work, then you can try a different approach. Don’t give in to boredom and instead choose to enjoy it. This doesn’t mean allowing yourself to waste your time being bored. Instead, think of it as your time to relax and re-energize, which will help you be more productive the next time you work.

Contrary to popular belief, we don’t need to be constantly doing things to be productive. In fact, research has shown that people are more productive when they take periods of rest to recharge.[1] Taking breaks once in a while helps boost your performance and can help make you feel more motivated.

So, take some time to relax. You never know, you might even like it.

Final Thoughts

Learning how to overcome boredom may be difficult at the beginning, but it can be easier if you make use of some techniques. You can start with my 3-step strategy on how to overcome boredom and work your way from there. So, ready your mind and make use of these tips, and you will be overcoming boredom in no time.

More Tips on Overcoming Boredom

Featured photo credit: Johnny Cohen via unsplash.com

Reference

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