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5 Causes of Anxiety Most People Have Overlooked

5 Causes of Anxiety Most People Have Overlooked

The feeling of anxiety is often confused by a lot of people due to not knowing how it’s created. Because of this, many of us find it difficult to overcome and frantically look for solutions.

The most common causes are often pretty obvious. But there are also ones that aren’t as obvious, which are arguably the real reasons why anxiety gets created in the first place.

1. Lack of communication in your relationships.

Relationships are perhaps the most sensitive areas you could ever be involved in because a lot of dynamics are at play: you love your partner and don’t want to hurt them, or maybe you care about their feelings and would do anything to make them happy.

But there is a fine line between staying happy and fulfilled and staying true to yourself. Of course your partner wants to be happy, but they also want you to be authentic.

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A one-sided relationship can never really succeed, so it stands to reason that the best way to avoid any complications is to always feel free to communicate your feelings. Sure, your partner may not like it, but they will grow to trust and respect you regardless of what happens.

A relationship built on dishonesty will always create anxiety due to always ‘acting up’ or believing that showing your true self will somehow make your partner lose attraction for you.

It is, in fact, this very thing that usually destroys relationships.

2. Inability to express your vulnerabilities.

This is an area, which men specifically have problems dealing with. We are often taught by the media that having a strong and bravado like attitude is the hallmark of masculinity, and that showing your weaknesses is considered a bad thing.

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The truth is, there has never been anyone in the history of this planet who wasn’t vulnerable, either physically or emotionally.

The key is to not be afraid to express yourself freely by allowing yourself to explore the full range of your emotions.

If you’re sad, be sad. If you’re happy, be happy. Accept how you’re feeling in the present moment and learn to appreciate your vulnerabilities.

3. The feeling of guilt.

There will always be times when you felt guilty about something. Maybe you didn’t tell the truth when it mattered. Perhaps you failed to go and talk to someone when you first saw them due to being too afraid to make the approach. Or perhaps you said something you shouldn’t have to a family member.

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Whatever it may be, realize that it was all in the past and that it can’t be changed. All you can change are the things you’re doing right now. You have the perfect opportunity to take responsibility for your actions.

What can you do right now that will stop you from feeling the same guilt in the future? Take it all on board and take action.

4. Trying to prove yourself to others.

One of the things I personally realized in my life was that no matter how hard I worked at being the type of person people would grow to love and appreciate, there would always be other people out there who wouldn’t like me.

The worst thing that could ever happen is that you would simply conform with everyone around you while compromising your personal values in the process, which is a recipe for disaster.

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Instead, learn to accept yourself for who you are by knowing your strengths and weaknesses. This will allow you to attract the right people into your life who will accept you for who you are.

5. Comparing yourself with others.

The media often displays billboards, magazines and TV shows portraying people with extreme levels of success, which is often pretty easy to feel insecure about. It’s easy to feel inferior, that something is wrong with you when in fact, it’s the very opposite.

We all seem to forget the basic fact that while there are better and more successful people out there in the world, there is simply no one quite like you who could benefit from your value. In reality, we all have something of value to give to the world.

Comparing yourself with others is impractical since you can’t be them and they can’t be you. Instead, learn to do things differently and in a way that is unique to you.

You’ll eventually realize that there is no one you could really compare with besides yourself. How were you like yesterday as opposed to today? Have you improved? If not, you now have a new goal to strive for.

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

How to Stay Calm and Cool When You Are Extremely Stressful

How to Stay Calm and Cool When You Are Extremely Stressful

Being in a hurry all the time drains your energy. Your work and routine life make you feel overwhelmed. Getting caught up in things beyond your control stresses you out…

If you’d like to stay calm and cool in stressful situations, put the following 8 steps into practice:

1. Breathe

The next time you’re faced with a stressful situation that makes you want to hurry, stop what you’re doing for one minute and perform the following steps:

  • Take five deep breaths in and out (your belly should come forward with each inhale).
  • Imagine all that stress leaving your body with each exhale.
  • Smile. Fake it if you have to. It’s pretty hard to stay grumpy with a goofy grin on your face.

Feel free to repeat the above steps every few hours at work or home if you need to.

2. Loosen up

After your breathing session, perform a quick body scan to identify any areas that are tight or tense. Clenched jaw? Rounded shoulders? Anything else that isn’t at ease?

Gently touch or massage any of your body parts that are under tension to encourage total relaxation. It might help to imagine you’re in a place that calms you: a beach, hot tub, or nature trail, for example.

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3. Chew slowly

Slow down at the dinner table if you want to learn to be patient and lose weight. Shoveling your food down as fast as you can is a surefire way to eat more than you need to (and find yourself with a bellyache).

Be a mindful eater who pays attention to the taste, texture, and aroma of every dish. Chew slowly while you try to guess all of the ingredients that were used to prepare your dish.

Chewing slowly will also reduce those dreadful late-night cravings that sneak up on you after work.

4. Let go

Cliche as it sounds, it’s very effective.

The thing that seems like the end of the world right now?

It’s not. Promise.

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Stressing and worrying about the situation you’re in won’t do any good because you’re already in it, so just let it go.

Letting go isn’t easy, so here’s a guide to help you:

21 Things To Do When You Find It Hard To Let Go

5. Enjoy the journey

Focusing on the end result can quickly become exhausting. Chasing a bold, audacious goal that’s going to require a lot of time and patience? Split it into several mini-goals so you’ll have several causes for celebration.

Stop focusing on the negative thoughts. Giving yourself consistent positive feedback will help you grow patience, stay encouraged, and find more joy in the process of achieving your goals.

6. Look at the big picture

The next time you find your stress level skyrocketing, take a deep breath, and ask yourself:

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Will this matter to me…

  • Next week?
  • Next month?
  • Next year?
  • In 10 years?

Hint: No, it won’t.

I bet most of the stuff that stresses you wouldn’t matter the next week, maybe not even the next day.

Stop agonizing over things you can’t control because you’re only hurting yourself.

7. Stop demanding perfection of yourself

You’re not perfect and that’s okay. Show me a person who claims to be perfect and I’ll show you a dirty liar.

Demanding perfection of yourself (or anybody else) will only stress you out because it just isn’t possible.

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8. Practice patience every day

Below are a few easy ways you can practice patience every day, increasing your ability to remain calm and cool in times of stress:

  • The next time you go to the grocery store, get in the longest line.
  • Instead of going through the drive-thru at your bank, go inside.
  • Take a long walk through a secluded park or trail.

Final thoughts

Staying calm in stressful situations is possible, all you need is some daily practice.

Taking deep breaths and eat mindfully are some simple ways to train your brain to be more patient. But changing the way you think of a situation and staying positive are most important in keeping cool whenever you feel overwhelmed and stressful.

Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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