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5 Causes of Anxiety Most People Have Overlooked

5 Causes of Anxiety Most People Have Overlooked

The feeling of anxiety is often confused by a lot of people due to not knowing how it’s created. Because of this, many of us find it difficult to overcome and frantically look for solutions.

The most common causes are often pretty obvious. But there are also ones that aren’t as obvious, which are arguably the real reasons why anxiety gets created in the first place.

1. Lack of communication in your relationships.

Relationships are perhaps the most sensitive areas you could ever be involved in because a lot of dynamics are at play: you love your partner and don’t want to hurt them, or maybe you care about their feelings and would do anything to make them happy.

But there is a fine line between staying happy and fulfilled and staying true to yourself. Of course your partner wants to be happy, but they also want you to be authentic.

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A one-sided relationship can never really succeed, so it stands to reason that the best way to avoid any complications is to always feel free to communicate your feelings. Sure, your partner may not like it, but they will grow to trust and respect you regardless of what happens.

A relationship built on dishonesty will always create anxiety due to always ‘acting up’ or believing that showing your true self will somehow make your partner lose attraction for you.

It is, in fact, this very thing that usually destroys relationships.

2. Inability to express your vulnerabilities.

This is an area, which men specifically have problems dealing with. We are often taught by the media that having a strong and bravado like attitude is the hallmark of masculinity, and that showing your weaknesses is considered a bad thing.

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The truth is, there has never been anyone in the history of this planet who wasn’t vulnerable, either physically or emotionally.

The key is to not be afraid to express yourself freely by allowing yourself to explore the full range of your emotions.

If you’re sad, be sad. If you’re happy, be happy. Accept how you’re feeling in the present moment and learn to appreciate your vulnerabilities.

3. The feeling of guilt.

There will always be times when you felt guilty about something. Maybe you didn’t tell the truth when it mattered. Perhaps you failed to go and talk to someone when you first saw them due to being too afraid to make the approach. Or perhaps you said something you shouldn’t have to a family member.

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Whatever it may be, realize that it was all in the past and that it can’t be changed. All you can change are the things you’re doing right now. You have the perfect opportunity to take responsibility for your actions.

What can you do right now that will stop you from feeling the same guilt in the future? Take it all on board and take action.

4. Trying to prove yourself to others.

One of the things I personally realized in my life was that no matter how hard I worked at being the type of person people would grow to love and appreciate, there would always be other people out there who wouldn’t like me.

The worst thing that could ever happen is that you would simply conform with everyone around you while compromising your personal values in the process, which is a recipe for disaster.

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Instead, learn to accept yourself for who you are by knowing your strengths and weaknesses. This will allow you to attract the right people into your life who will accept you for who you are.

5. Comparing yourself with others.

The media often displays billboards, magazines and TV shows portraying people with extreme levels of success, which is often pretty easy to feel insecure about. It’s easy to feel inferior, that something is wrong with you when in fact, it’s the very opposite.

We all seem to forget the basic fact that while there are better and more successful people out there in the world, there is simply no one quite like you who could benefit from your value. In reality, we all have something of value to give to the world.

Comparing yourself with others is impractical since you can’t be them and they can’t be you. Instead, learn to do things differently and in a way that is unique to you.

You’ll eventually realize that there is no one you could really compare with besides yourself. How were you like yesterday as opposed to today? Have you improved? If not, you now have a new goal to strive for.

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Last Updated on November 19, 2019

20 Time Management Tips to Super Boost Your Productivity

20 Time Management Tips to Super Boost Your Productivity

Are you usually punctual or late? Do you finish things within the time you stipulate? Do you hand in your reports/work on time? Are you able to accomplish what you want to do before deadlines? Are you a good time manager?

If your answer is “no” to any of the questions above, that means you’re not managing your time as well as you want. Here are 20 time management tips to help you manage time better:

1. Create a Daily Plan

Plan your day before it unfolds. Do it in the morning or even better, the night before you sleep. The plan gives you a good overview of how the day will pan out. That way, you don’t get caught off guard. Your job for the day is to stick to the plan as best as possible.

2. Peg a Time Limit to Each Task

Be clear that you need to finish X task by 10am, Y task by 3pm, and Z item by 5:30pm. This prevents your work from dragging on and eating into time reserved for other activities.

3. Use a Calendar

Having a calendar is the most fundamental step to managing your daily activities. If you use outlook or lotus notes, calendar come as part of your mailing software.

I use it. It’s even better if you can sync your calendar to your mobile phone and other hardwares you use – that way, you can access your schedule no matter where you are. Here’re the 10 Best Calendar Apps to Stay on Track .

Find out more tips about how to use calendar for better time management here: How to Use a Calendar to Create Time and Space

4. Use an Organizer

An organizer helps you to be on top of everything in your life. It’s your central tool to organize information, to-do lists, projects, and other miscellaneous items.

These Top 15 Time Management Apps and Tools can help you organize better, pick one that fits your needs.

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5. Know Your Deadlines

When do you need to finish your tasks? Mark the deadlines out clearly in your calendar and organizer so you know when you need to finish them.

But make sure you don’t make these 10 Common Mistakes When Setting Deadlines.

6. Learn to Say “No”

Don’t take on more than you can handle. For the distractions that come in when you’re doing other things, give a firm no. Or defer it to a later period.

Leo Babauta, the founder of Zen Habits has some great insights on how to say no: The Gentle Art of Saying No

7. Target to Be Early

When you target to be on time, you’ll either be on time or late. Most of the times you’ll be late. However, if you target to be early, you’ll most likely be on time.

For appointments, strive to be early. For your deadlines, submit them earlier than required.

Learn from these tips about how to prepare yourself to be early, instead of just in time.

8. Time Box Your Activities

This means restricting your work to X amount of time. Why time boxing is good for you? Here’re 10 reasons why you should start time-boxing.

You can also read more about how to do time boxing here: #5 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity.

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9. Have a Clock Visibly Placed Before You

Sometimes we are so engrossed in our work that we lose track of time. Having a huge clock in front of you will keep you aware of the time at the moment.

10. Set Reminders 15 Minutes Before

Most calendars have a reminder function. If you have an important meeting to attend, set that alarm 15 minutes before.

You can learn more about how reminders help you remember everything in this article: The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder That Works)

11. Focus

Are you multi-tasking so much that you’re just not getting anything done? If so, focus on just one key task at one time. Multitasking is bad for you.

Close off all the applications you aren’t using. Close off the tabs in your browser that are taking away your attention. Focus solely on what you’re doing. You’ll be more efficient that way.

Lifehack’s CEO has written a definitive guide on how to focus, learn the tips: How to Focus and Maximize Your Productivity (the Definitive Guide)

12. Block out Distractions

What’s distracting you in your work? Instant messages? Phone ringing? Text messages popping in?

I hardly ever use chat nowadays. The only times when I log on is when I’m not intending to do any work. Otherwise it gets very distracting.

When I’m doing important work, I also switch off my phone. Calls during this time are recorded and I contact them afterward if it’s something important. This helps me concentrate better.

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Find more tips on how to minimize distractions to achieve more in How to Minimize Distraction to Get Things Done

13. Track Your Time Spent

When you start to track your time, you’re more aware of how you spend your time. For example, you can set a simple countdown timer to make sure that you finish a task within a period of time, say 30 minutes or 1 hour. The time pressure can push you to stay focused and work more efficiently.

You can find more time tracking apps here and pick one that works for you.

14. Don’t Fuss About Unimportant Details

You’re never get everything done in exactly the way you want. Trying to do so is being ineffective.

Trying to be perfect does you more harm than good, learn here about how perfectionism kills your productivity and how to ditch the perfectionism mindset.

15. Prioritize

Since you can’t do everything, learn to prioritize the important and let go of the rest.

Apply the 80/20 principle which is a key principle in prioritization. You can also take up this technique to prioritize everything on your plate: How to Prioritize Right in 10 Minutes and Work 10X Faster

16. Delegate

If there are things that can be better done by others or things that are not so important, consider delegating. This takes a load off and you can focus on the important tasks.

When you delegate some of your work, you free up your time and achieve more. Learn about how to effectively delegate works in this guide: How to Delegate Work (the Definitive Guide for Successful Leaders)

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17. Batch Similar Tasks Together

For related work, batch them together.

For example, my work can be categorized into these core groups:

  1. writing (articles, my upcoming book)
  2. coaching
  3. workshop development
  4. business development
  5. administrative

I batch all the related tasks together so there’s synergy. If I need to make calls, I allocate a time slot to make all my calls. It really streamlines the process.

18. Eliminate Your Time Wasters

What takes your time away your work? Facebook? Twitter? Email checking? Stop checking them so often.

One thing you can do is make it hard to check them – remove them from your browser quick links / bookmarks and stuff them in a hard to access bookmarks folder. Replace your browser bookmarks with important work-related sites.

While you’ll still checking FB/Twitter no doubt, you’ll find it’s a lower frequency than before.

19. Cut off When You Need To

The number one reason why things overrun is because you don’t cut off when you have to.

Don’t be afraid to intercept in meetings or draw a line to cut-off. Otherwise, there’s never going to be an end and you’ll just eat into the time for later.

20. Leave Buffer Time In-Between

Don’t pack everything closely together. Leave a 5-10 minute buffer time in between each tasks. This helps you wrap up the previous task and start off on the next one.

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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