Advertising
Advertising

14 Tips On Teaching Your Child To Share

14 Tips On Teaching Your Child To Share

Sharing is one of those life lessons you need to teach your children as soon as possible. The younger they are when they learn, the easier it will be for them to adapt to this skill and use it throughout their life. Sharing will help them make friends on the playground and in school, as well as benefit them as they get older and go out on their own and get established in the workplace. Here are fourteen tips on teaching your child to share.

1. Give them the choice.

Forcing your child to share will just make it more difficult to get them to do it on their own later. If you give your child a choice, they will feel more involved in the situation, and they will feel like their feelings are being considered. Ask your child if he or she would mind sharing certain toys with a friend, or their snack with a sibling. If the child says no, explain why they should be willing to share. If they say yes, praise them for making a kind and considerate decision.

2. Know when to expect them to share.

Don’t always expect your child to be willing to share everything! Expect them to share toys they have lots of, like Legos or dolls when friends are over. Make sure they know what you expect of them, too! Be reasonable when it comes to new or favorite toys. Do you like sharing things you value? Of course not! It’s only natural to feel this way whether you’re an adult or a child!

Advertising

3. Teach them it’s not permanent/giving up belongings.

Make sure your child knows that sharing is temporary. Sharing is allowing a friend to borrow what is yours. It will only last during the play date, and then the toy will go back to belonging to only your child. Sharing goes much smoother if the child knows that they’re not permanently giving up anything that belongs to them.

4. Try different terminology.

If your child consistently throws a fit when asked to share anything with anyone, try using different terminology. Call it “borrowing” or “taking turns” instead of “sharing.” Explain that borrowing is temporary, or that taking turns means after your child’s friend plays with it, your child will have another chance for it. Sometimes an aversion to sharing can simply mean that your child doesn’t really understand the scope of the word’s meaning.

5. Use a clock or timer.

Using a timer when taking turns shows all children involved that you’re being fair. They will know how much time they have to play with a certain toy, and that once the timer buzzes, they have to switch with the next child. Instead of making the time limit seem like a restriction, make it into a game! For example, challenge each child to see how many things they can build with a toy before their time is up.

Advertising

6. Connect with your child.

Studies show that children who are closer to their parents are better at sharing. They feel like they get enough love and attention from their families, so they are less focused on inanimate objects, and understand that they should give just as much as they’re getting. Children secure in their place in the family are more likely to reach out and be generous to other children.

7. Let them have toys just for them, or put away toys before a play date.

Everyone has favorite toys, and if your child doesn’t want to share these, don’t force them! Before a play date, let your child pick out certain toys to hide away. These will not have to be shared, but make it clear that your child cannot play with these toys either—they’re put away until your child’s friends leave.

8. Take away toys if they’re not learning.

If your child still isn’t sharing after you’ve tried multiple positive ways, take away the toy in question. If your child can’t learn to share, then maybe they’re not ready to play with that toy, either.

Advertising

9. Tell them they must share to be shared with.

Many children expect to get things even if they’re not giving themselves. Make sure your child knows that his or her friends will be more likely to share their toys if your child shares with them. Explain that this means everyone will get to play with multiple new (to them) toys at each play date.

10. Explain why sharing is important.

Your child might be too young to understand, but try to explain why sharing is important in their life. Let them know how sharing helps them make and keep friends, how it makes them look like a kind and generous person that others will want to be nice to in return.

11. Show examples of sharing in everyday life.

When you’re out in public and see people being kind and sharing, make sure to point it out to your child. Along that same line, if you’re out with your spouse or other children and your youngest shares something, make an example of it. Point it out to who you’re with and comment on how sweet your child is being by sharing openly.

Advertising

12. Share more than just toys and food.

Demonstrate how more things are shared than just material goods like toys and food. You can loan out clothes, money (cautiously!), and time. While it may not be considered “sharing,” make sure your child knows how to love and show affection to more than just one family member, also. Don’t let them have periods of only hugging their father; make sure they know they can also love their mother and siblings at the same time, and that shared love keeps on giving.

13. Lead by example.

Monkey see, monkey do! Make sure your child sees you share bites of your dinner, let your spouse borrow your car, loan a friend a pair of shoes. Each time you share, point it out to your child. Make it a game, and ask them to show you when they share, also.

14. Praise them.

Every time your child shares, whether it is done willingly or because you asked them to, make sure to praise them. Don’t reward them with material things, as this will set a bad precedent for later in life. Verbal praise is perfect because it makes them feel special, but it is something they can continue to get as they grow older and are thanked for sharing by classmates and coworkers.

Featured photo credit: Jeff Blum via flickr.com

More by this author

16 Productivity Secrets of Highly Successful People Revealed Why You Should Keep A Journal And How To Get Started 10 Incredible Benefits of Cuddling That Make You Want to Cuddle Now 15 Differences Between the Boy you Date and the Man you Marry 10 Signs That You’re Ready For Marriage

Trending in Family

1 7 Reminders on Building Strong Family Relationships 2 What Happened to Family Dinners? Why We Should Bring Them Back 3 How Not to Let Work Take Priority over Spending Time With Family 4 35 Life Hacks for Kids That Make Parenting Easier And More Fun 5 20 Things to Remember If You Love a Person with ADD

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 3, 2020

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

 I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

 2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

Advertising

4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

7. Positive people smile a lot!

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

Advertising

8. People who are positive are great communicators.

They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

Advertising

I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

Read Next